ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Jennifer Upton is an American (non-werewolf) writer/editor in London. She currently works as a ghostwriter of personal memoirs for Story Terrace London and writes for several blogs on topics as diverse as film history, punk rock, women’s issues, and international politics. For links to her work, please visit https://www.jennuptonwriter.com or send her a Tweet @Jennxldn

Blood of Dracula’s Castle (1967) is truly a boring film, even for Al Adamson, who is not known for making great films. The most exciting bit of action in this movie was the scene-stealing walrus in the opening scene shot at the old Marineland in Palos Verdes, California. That walrus puts in a more energetic better performance than any of the human actors.

The story concerns Mrs. and Mrs. Count Dracula, who have essentially retired as “The Townsends” to a castle in the California desert (Falcon Rock Castle Antelope Valley, California.)

Now free from a life of killing villagers in Europe their new life is one of leisure. There’s no more hunting for these two elites! Their new bougie diet consists mostly of bloody cocktails prepared for them by their butler George played by John Carradine, a priest in a cult who worships Luna the Moon God along with the Townsends.

The blood comes from the various girls kept chained in the basement, most of whom are collected from the nearby highway and brought home by their deformed Igor-like caretaker Mango played by Ray Young. A tall stunt actor better known as the boulder-throwing half of The Kroft Supershow staple Bigfoot and Wildboy (1976.)

The Townsends and also have a strange relationship with a local serial killer named Johnny (Robert Dix). Although how he came to be close with the Townsend’s is never explored, they seem to have a reciprocal relationship. One in which he brings them victims for promised initiation into vampirehood. In the alternate television version (yes, there are two versions of this snorefest – both available online) Johnny is a werewolf.

After escaping from a mental institution, Johnny kills a few people just for the hell of it on the way home to the castle. Here, the added werewolf scenes actually make sense. Somewhat. In the original version Johnny mentions repeatedly how he can’t control his murderous urges when there’s a full moon. The problem with the new inserts lies in the fact that they were clearly shot years later. The hairstyle and wardrobe of the victim places it squarely in the ‘70s and the electronic music bears no resemblance to the music in the rest of the film.

One would think that a police pursuit of a serial killer/werewolf would be exciting. It isn’t. That’s the problem with this movie. Even when things happen it doesn’t feel like it. There’s an utter lethargy to the acting, camera placement and editing. During the chase, the screen direction is completely off and there is very little foley to bring the soundtrack to life.

Once reunited, the Townsends, Johnny, George and Mango now have a new problem to contend with. They must find a new place to live. Sadly, after a nice, calm, sixty-year tenancy, their 108-year-old landlord has died, leaving the castle to his nephew. The new landlord – a photographer named Glenn Cannon and his perpetually complaining model fiancé Liz decide they’re going to live there.

When they show up to inspect the place, instead of chaos, we are treated to a series of long civil discussions between the characters. Most disappointing of all is that the vampires never do anything. They’re far too spoiled and sophisticated. Count Townsend (played by Horrors of Spider Island star Alex D’arcy) is so nonchalant that at one point he tells a potential victim, “Oh, no. We won’t kill you. We need your blood,” with the calm tone of a man making small talk. They don’t even fight when Glenn ties them up in the finale. They’re far too used to being looked after by their staff to do anything as vulgar as defend themselves. If the Howell’s on Gilligan’s Island were vampires, this is exactly how they’d behave. The effect is equally as comical. However, they don’t go as gently into the ether as one might think. After sacrificing a girl on the beach to Luna, aging and turning to dust when the morning sun shines through the window, two bats emerge from the vampires’ fancy party clothes and fly off. Perhaps to rent another castle somewhere else and start over. George and Johnny are dispatched by our heroes.  Glenn saves Liz. Mango gets shot, axed and thrown off a cliff. It should be exciting. It isn’t.

Link to the theatrical Crown International cut:

Link to the Television Paragon “Werewolf” cut:

The Fiend with the Electronic Brain is — sort of — Al Adamson’s 1965 movie Psycho-A-Go-Go which is also — sort of — Blood of Ghastly Horror.

Psycho A-Go-Go is all about Joe Corey taking part in a diamond heist with the stolen contraband hidden inside a little girl’s doll when it isn’t about Tacey Robbins singing.

This remix has Joe Corey’s madness explained as he is an injured Vietnam vet who is experimented on by Dr. Vanard (John Carradine). Everything that happened in the first version also happens here but Joe is off the hook, I guess, because of the surgery on his mind.

Venard wanted to heal the soldier’s shrapnel injuries with electric shock therapy, but he turned Joe into a woman-killing monster who is now hunting him down. He straps Dr. Vanard to his own lab equipment and electrocutes him before we somehow find ourselves back in that jewel robbery, the diamonds in the doll and the forest haunting of the woman and her daughter, all before Joe gets shot and falls off a cliff.

Beyond also being Bloof of Ghastly Horror and also The Man with the Synthetic Brain, a Sam Sherman retitling for TV. You could see this movie four times and be taken every time as you’re seeing the same story with little tweaks along the way with footage being Xeroxed over and over and over.

I get upset when Spielberg or Lucas comes back and meddles with their movies but I am in no way upset that Al Adamson just kept trying to make this movie better. Arguably, he didn’t. He tried and you have to give it to him for that.

EDITOR’S NOTE: The Eye Creatures was on Chiller Theater on Saturday, June 5, 1971 at 1:00 a.m. and April 22, 1972.

Directed by Larry Buchanon and written by Paul W. Fairman, Robert J. Gurney Jr. and Al Martin, The Eye Creatures is based on Fairman’s “The Cosmic Frame” and is a remake of American-International Pictures’ Invasion of the Saucer Men. It was made in Dallas for $25,000 as a series of remakes that would fill in AIP’s TV packages. They had Jonn Ashley, who took up most of the budget, but his wife left him just before they made the movie.

Buchanan told Fangoria, “We got John Ashley on the weekend that his wife Deborah Walley said goodbye to him. And here I am with him on the set the next morning; he was in bad shape. Deborah had gone over to Arkansas on an AIP publicity junket for one of those “Beach Party” things, and John asked me if he could fly up and see her. I said, “John, we just started!” I sat down with him and worked it out, I shot around him for two days while he tried to reconcile with her. It didn’t work. But it did work for me in that when he came back, he worked his tail off. I told him he had to make a break— he had a little money— and go as far away from Deborah as he could get. And we talked long into the night, about shooting, casting and making movies. I don’t think we ever stopped on that picture. We would work all day and talk all night. And then he went off to Manila and began making those Bamboo-girl pictures and made a fortune.”

Buchanan also made In the Year 2889 (a remake of Day the World Ended), Zontar, the Thing from Venus (a remake of It Conquered the World); Curse of the Swamp Creature (a remake of Voodoo Woman); Creature of Destruction (a remake of The She-Creature); It’s Alive!,  Mars Needs Women and Hell Raiders (a remake of Suicide Battalion) for AIP. All of these movies went straight to late night horror shows on UHF channels.

AIP told him, “We want cheap color pictures, we want half-assed names in them, we want them eighty minutes long and we want them now.”

Project Visitor should be used to search for UAPs, but the horny soldiers use it to watch teenagers like Stan Kenyon (Ashley, who was a 33-year-old teenager in this movie) and his girlfriend Susan Rogers (Cynthia Hull) make out. When she tells him that she thinks someone is watching them, he tells her that everyone in every car is watching each other. Maybe later, they’ll watch some other couples. 1967 is wild.

As they pull out of lover’s lane, they hit and kill an alien with their car. The alien body ends up getting used in a get rich plan and the government looks for it. It. turns out that the aliens plan on attacking the town but the teens soon learn that bright light destroys them, so everyone stops dry humping and shines their headlights on the eye creatures, destroying them.

If you watch The Ghost In the Invisible Bikini, the eye creature shows up. There’s a lot more recycling in this movie, as the UFO scene is from Invaders from Mars and music is taken from Attack of the 50 Foot Woman, Beach Party and The Hypnotic Eye.

You can watch this on Tubi.

EDITOR’S NOTE: King Kong Escapes was on Chiller Theater on Saturday, October 17, 1973 at 11:30 p.m. It also aired on November 9, 1974; July 10, 1976; July 30, 1977 and September 2, 1978. 

After 1962’s Godzilla vs. King Kong, Japan had not had enough of the big ape. After all, Kong was the first beast to both defeat and not be killed by Godzilla. Four years later, Toho paired up with Rankin/Bass, the creators of Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer and The King Kong Show, a cartoon where Kong battled aliens, monsters and mad scientists. Interestingly, the designs for that show were by Jack Davis of EC comics fame. The show was the first cartoon produced in Japan for American audiences and was so successful, Rankin-Bass partnered with Toho for a first film called Godzilla vs. the Sea Monster (or Ebirah, Horror of the Deep which is a much better title). Rankin-Bass rejected this movie as a starring role for Kong, but a lot of moments throughout point that the script was barely changed when Godzilla entered the picture. He’s revived by lightning (Japanese Kong, for some reason, gets power from the cloud…err, clouds) and the big lizard is in love with female character Dayo, which is also a Kong trait.

Finally, Rankin-Bass consented to this film, featuring Dr. No. No, not the Bond villain, but a character from the cartoon, here played by Hideyo “Eisei” Amamoto, who you may know as Dr. Shinigami/Deathgod from Kamen Rider. His voice is from Paul Frees, who listeners will recognize from many a Rankin/Bass holiday special. Interestingly enough, the German distributor of Toho’s movies often used Dr. Frankenstein’s name to sell these new monsters, claiming that he was creating all of them. So in Deutschland, the doctor goes by Dr. Frankenstein to try and tie all of these together. What does this have to do with the Frankenstein monster in Frankenstein vs. Baragon and his spawn in War of the Gargantuas? Absolutely nothing, thanks for asking!

Dr. Who’s boss is Madame Piranha, who works for an undisclosed country that wants weapons. She’s played by Mie Hama, who would go on to play Kissy Suzuki in You Only Live Twice (1967). Dr. No has invented a mechanical Kong that malfunctions just before getting that oh-so elusive Element X.  Instead of rebuilding the robobeast, No decides he needs the real Kong. Again, you may ask why. You are permitted after all. However, I have no answer for you. These things just happen in these films and you shouldn’t be watching a kaiju movie if you’re looking for logic, dear reader.

Meanwhile, Carl Nelson — our hero — and his sub get to Mondo Island, where Kong lives. Almost instantly, Kong falls in love with Fay Wray analog Lt. Susan Watson and prepares to fight Gorosaurus (who shows up again in the greatest of all Toho movies, 1968’s Destroy All Monsters!). For some reason, this beast fights like a kangaroo, but Kong gives him a headlock takeover and demonstrates a kaiju form of MMA ground and pound, punching the rubbery dino again and again until a giant mutant Big John McCarthy moves him away. Just kidding. Kong beats his chest, picks up the girl and the humans just watch and wonder what to do next. They find a very Commander Scarlet mini-sub and Kong gives chase, finally being delayed by a sea monster.

Actually, come to think of it, Carl Nelson is thisclose to Admiral Nelson, commander of the mini-sub Seaview on the TV series Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea (1964-1968). Coincidence?

Here’s why I love this movie. In this scene, Kong’s head has grown to way larger than before proportion. Continuity be damned, by the next scene, as he catches up to the big sub, his head is back to normal and his eyes are not bugging out. Everyone finally figures out that Kong will listen to Susan and all is as well as it can be when you’re dropping anchor off Mondo Island, which one assumes is relatively close to Monster Island.

Remember Dr. No? Well, he comes back and takes Kong from the island, even killing an old man just to do so. He also wants you to know he has nothing to do with the Timelord, even if he does look like a Japanese John Pertwee. Kong is gassed and lifted away to complete the retrieval of Element X. Some flashing light and hypnotism later and Kong is all ready to mine away, using a set of headphones that Dr. No speaks orders into.

Those wacky Germans we mentioned before? Well, in their versions of the movies, both Jet Jaguar and Mechagodzilla are referred to as King Kong. Again, you’ll have that why question in your head and the answer is simple. King Kong is a marquee name, no matter if he’s properly named or not.

But I digress. Our human heroes (this would be the time that a child version of the author would tune out until the giant monkey was ready to actually do something) seek out Kong, who looks stoned as he mines in an ice cave. The headset breaks and Kong stops listening, which means that Dr. No needs Susan, because she’s the only one Kong will listen to. If only they hadn’t had that press conference telling that to the world!

While all this is going on, Madame Piranha puts the moves on Carl Nelson, who is all super stoic and not having any of this, well, monkey business. He won’t turn on his friends, so Dr. No slaps him around and makes some threats. Kong, well, escapes by swimming in the cold Arctic waters all the way to Tokyo. The Madame decides that even she can’t deal with Kong fighting his mechanical doppelganger and wants Dr. No to just chill. Obviously, something else happened, because she decides to free the good guys.

Just in time — Mecha-Kong and Kong are about to tear Tokyo apart. Susan tries to use reason, but Mecha-Kong has flashing lights and gets Kong all baked again. Seriously — watch this movie and dispute my findings, if you will. One thing leads to another and it’s on like Donkey Kong. No — it’s on like King Kong! This is why you showed up for this movie — two dudes wearing rubber suits dressed as giant gorillas dropping buildings on one another.

Madame Piranga makes her move on the nefarious doctor, but after a slow chop-socky dance and some fighting between an end table, she gets shot in the arm. Yes. The arm. Meanwhile, Tokyo Tower is being ascended and destroyed by our ape combatants. Kong rescues the girl and climbs to the top where they invent the Skywalkers match that the NWA would use for the Great American Bash twenty years later.

Kong wins and then goes one further by tracking down Dr. No’s ship and killing him. Yes — this is a G-rated movie. Then and only then does he give up on civilization and swim away.

Toho had intended King Kong to return for 1968’s Destroy All Monsters, but the rights had lapsed. The Kong suit shows up as Gorilla on the Toho show Go Greenman! (1973-1974) Weirdly enough, Toho had hoped to use Mecha-Kong to battle Godzilla, but when Turner Home Entertainment bought the rights, they decreed that Kong (and anyone looking like him) should not appear in a Japanese monster movie. Boo. Hiss.

All said, this is a pretty entertaining film. Don’t expect CGI quality. In fact, don’t expect any quality. Expect to be entertained and with a runtime of a little over 80 minutes, you honestly won’t waste much time. You are free to giggle at the silly Kong costume, but remember that in the mid 1970s, your author had big Coke bottle glasses and a bowl haircut and lived for this movie. He may still love it just that much.

EDITOR’S NOTE: The Torture Chamber of Dr. Sadism was first on Chiller Theater on Saturday, November 24, 1974 at 11:30 p.m. It also aired on Saturday, January 24, 1976.

I can’t believe that this movie aired on regular television.

This has some great AKA titles, such as The Blood Demon, The Snake Pit and the Pendulum, Castle of the Walking Dead and Crimson Demon in Rhode Island, as the word blood was banned from ads. Hemisphere Pictures released it on a double bill with The Mad Doctor of Blood Island, which was called The Mad Doctor of Crimson Island in bloodless areas.

Drected by Harald Reinl (The Strangler of Blackmoor Castle, The Return of Doctor Mabuse), it’s based on The Pit and the Pendulum, kind of. It’s also about Count Regula (Christopher Lee), who is charged with the murder of twelve women and then drawn and quartered. And beheaded. And he gets better.

Baroness Lilian von Brabant (Karin Dor, Assignment Terror) and her lawyer Roger Mont Elise (former Tarzan Lex Barker) have been invited to the Blood Castle. She plans on getting her inheritance and he wants to learn who his parents were. They also meet a profane monk named Fabian (Vladimir Medar) and hear the story of Count Regula, who demanded revenge on his enemies before he died.

The Baroness and her maid Babette (Christiane Rücker, Frankenstein’s Castle of Freaks) are abducted by hooded men while riding through the woods filled with human body parts hanging from trees, a horrific scene that is made even more frightening by its low budget high concept lunacy.

Once everyone is trapped in the castle, the Count’s servant Anatol (Carl Lange, Creature With the Blue Hand) brings Regula back with his face destroyed. Behind a mask, he claims that he will take his last victim, the Baroness, and become alive. Everything goes nuts, as the Baroness not only is placed into a snake-filled hole painted with “The Last Judgement” from “The Garden of Earthly Delights by Hieronymus Bosch, she’s also menaced by scorpions, spiders, bugs and vultures. It gets amazing because every time you think that they can’t top the last animal, another jumps on her. Roger escapes from the pendulum, saves Babette from an iron maiden water trap and uses the iron cross of the Baroness to destroy the bad guys.

This movie is absolutely incredible. Like, I get excited just thinking about it.

You can watch this on Tubi.