Sally Ross (Lauren Bacall) is a Broadway star who is about to star in a new musical and is working on reconciling with her ex-husband Jake Berman (James Garner). What she doesn’t know is that the biggest problem in her life are the letters from obsessive fan Douglas Breen (Michael Biehn). Soon, Sally and Douglas will meet and many people will die. Directed by Ed Bianchi, The Fanis a stalker with actual stars and plenty of wild moments.
If there’s a weapon to be considered the strangest in the films of Shaw Brothers, the flying guillotine would be it. From 1975’s Flying Guillotine to the 1976 sequel Master of the Flying Guillotine (which is also a sequel to One-Armed Boxer), 1977’s Taiwan-made entry Fatal Flying Guillotine and this movie, 1978’s Flying Guillotine 2: Palace Carnage and Vengeful Courage, also made the same year, the deadly hat with a bladed rim attached to a long chain that envelopes human heads and tears them clean off just can’t be topped.
Original director Ho Meng Hua was busy working on The Mighty Peking Man, so this film was originally going to be made by Cheng Kang. But so many problems attacked this film, which took nearly two years from filming to release.
For example, actress Liu Wu Chi completely left the film industry and was replaced by Hsiao Yao. Then, Chen Kuan Tai broke away from Shaw Brothers, leaving the movie without its star. And then, Hsiao Yao also left acting. Was this movie cursed?
Maybe. After all, Cheng Kang left the movie and Hua Shan (The Super Infra-Man) had to finish it.
That’s why this movie is episodic and the editing feels chaotic. I have no idea how all the film shot was even placed together to make something this coherent. It works in spite of the pain that it was created in. Maybe it was forged in fire to be something better than it should be.
So what’s happening here? The Emperor (Ku Feng) wants to kill Ma Tang (Ti Lung), but first he must improve the flying guillotine so that Ma Tang — who figured out how to stop the deadly weapon before — can be dealt with. At the same time, a female hero named Na Lan (Shih Szu) is trying to steal those plans.
This is one of the most doom-filled Shaw Brothers movies I’ve seen — there are literally crosses with decapitated heads hanging from them — and the final scenes are filled with slow motion and a downbeat finale. That said, any movie with a chain swinging a death device is going to be awesome, no matter if it has way too many characters to keep track of.
Findlay Week (August 18 – 24) Husband and wife Michael and Roberta Findlay made mean-spirited films. They collaborated on films like Take Me Naked, The Ultimate Degenerate, and the notorious Flesh Trilogy, plus they actually looked like criminals – walking mug shots! You expect to see them glowering on the cover of one of those tabloids next to a headline like “KIDNAPPER COUPLE COLLECTED VICTIMS FINGERS.” Instead they were pornographers which did make them like criminals in their day. A lot of the filmmakers of their era would claim they only made this kind of movie because there was money in it, but Michael and Roberta were sincere adherents. Even when audience tastes changed and the couple were divorced they continued to make their own films that mixed in elements of kink and cruelty.
Who destroyed Richard Jennings’ (Michael Findlay) life? Was it his wife Claudia (Angelique Pettyjohn)? Or Steve (Ron Scardera), the lover she cheated on her husband with? Does it even matter to Richard any more? After all, he’s returned from the dead, like a demented 42nd Street grindhouse Jason Vorhees, How do you get over being stabbed in the heart? Well, maybe when your heart has been broken, you just go on.
After watching credits quite literally written on a bathroom wall and hear Roberta Findlay’s voice on the radio, recounting everything from the first movie, but never explaining how Richard came to own an art theater that presents live sex on stage and screens movies like Squash Crazy that is, to borrow a phrase from Pieces, exactly what you think it is.
He’s also become a degenerate Dr. Phibes, inventing all manner of weapons to kill his those on his perceived enemies list, like a dildo that kills and poisoned g strings. Richard also doesn’t need the eyepatch, in the same way that Dr. Doom really doesn’t need his mask, if we follow the ideas of Kirby over Lee . It appears and reappears at will, whether that’s a statement or just Findlay not caring about continuity when he has so much female flesh to show and a machete fight in a moving truck that ends with a castration to entertain you.
As if this is a proto-MCU movie, this even teases more over the end credits: “Will This End the Bloody Career of Richard Jennings? Has His Lust for the Blood of Naked Girls Been Satisfied?? Don’t Fail to See The Kiss of Her Flesh Coming Soon to This Theatre.”
As “The Right Kind” by The Jaybirds keeps playing on the soundtrack, this only gets more depraved. I know that fans of this movie like me romanticize the terrifying real life nature of what New York City was at this time, but who cares? It gave birth to this movie, in which a nude woman holds a cat over her sex and Richard hits her with this pillow talk: “Yes, this little pussy is really a primordial, carnivorous beast waiting to tear apart anything it can touch.”
You can get all three of these movies in one set from Vinegar Syndrome.
You may wonder why this movie is also called One-Armed Boxer 2 and The One Armed Boxer vs. the Flying Guillotine. That’s because it’s pretty much a sequel to One-Armed Boxer, but man, the name Master of the Flying Guillotine was just too awesome not to use.
It’s also one of the few martial arts movies that for some reason has a nearly all Krautrock soundtrack, with “Super” and “Super 16” from Neu!’s second studio album, Neu! 2 played as the opening theme and Master Fung’s theme; “Rubycon, Part One” from Tangerine Dream’s sixth studio album Rubycon used as The One-Armed Boxer’s theme; and three songs from Kraftwerk’s fourth album Autobahn — “Mitternacht,” “Morgenspaziergang” and “Kometenmelodie 2” — appearing.
If you can’t guess already, this movie is straight-out incredible.
Yu Tien Lung, the One-Armed Boxer, is stalked by the blind Fung Sheng Wu Chui who was the master of the two Tibetan lama he killed in the first movie. Unlike those men, this villain has the flying guillotine, a bladed hat on a chain that can take its victim’s head completely off their body.
Before the battle you’ve been waiting for, our protagonist must battle a Thai boxer, a yoga master and a kobojutsu — the martial arts of Okinawa — master. And yes, you get a satisfying battle between the enemies by the end.
With a tagline that claimed, “It’s A Mean Machine – Cuts Your Head Off Clean!” this film lives up to everything you dreamed that it would be. Jimmy Wang Wu wrote, directed and stars in this. He made The Chinese Boxer, a movie that moved martial arts away from weapons and into the bare-handed combat that Bruce Lee and so many others would make into a worldwide phenomenon.
Obviously, so much of Kill Bill — and even the video game Street Fighter — owe a debt to this movie. You should check it out.
EDITOR’S NOTE: This is a Golden Harvest movie! Oh well! I already wrote it.
With one arm tied behind his back, Jimmy Wang Yu had already played the One-Armed Swordsman in two films for Shaw Brothers, One-Armed Swordsman and Return of the One-Armed Swordsman. He also became incredibly popular after The Chinese Boxer, the movie that kickstarted the unarmed combat genre. Then, he broke his contract with Shaw Brothers and lost the lawsuit that resulted, which meant he needed to go somewhere other than Hong Kong to work.
That’s where former Shaw Brothers executive Raymond Chow comes in. He started the rival studio Golden Harvest in 1970 and Wang Yu became his star, writing, directing and playing the main role in One-Armed Boxer.
Yu Tian Long (Wang) is the best fighter to come out of his local martial arts school. However, when he stops the Hook Gang from roughing up customers in a restaurant. The evildoers are part of the Ching Te school, which is the most prominent martial arts academy in town. Yet more than that, they run all sorts of businesses, legal and illegal.
After being defeated in combat twice, the Hook Gang return to their master Chao Liu (Yeh Tien) and tell him that Tien and others from the Ching Te school attacked them for no reason and insulted their group. Chao heads off to the school and is easily defeated by Master Han Tu (Ma Kei).
Chao has no honor and uses his money to get revenge, hiring a group of martial artists from Shanghai that includes Okinawa karate expert Erh Ku Da Leung (Wong Fei-lung) and his students Chang Ku Chua and Pan Tien-Ching, two lamas from Tibet (Ko Fu and Cho Lung, who are the disciples of the Fung Sheng Wu Chi from Master of the Flying Guillotine, which is about him trying to get revenge for his students against Yu Tian Long), Muat Thai fighters Mi Tsu (Blackie Ko, who went on to be a car stunt expert) and Ni Tsai, judo master Kao Chiao, Taekwondo master Chin Chi Yung and yoga fighter Mura Singh. They murder every single student in the Ching Te school, as well as the Master, leaving only Tien Lung alive yet only with one arm after Erh Ku Da Leung chops his arm clean off.
Hsiao Yu, a nurse, and her father bring our hero back to health and explain a special sklill that could help him get revenge, a method that will make his fighter super powerful even with just one arm. He only has to destroy all the nerves in his arm so he places his arm into an open flame in an incredible scene that shows just how devoted he is to avenging his master.
The end of the film is an example of why I love martial arts movies. Tien Lung fights every single one of the killers in a quarry while the Hook Gang throw bombs at him. There’s blood spraying everywhere and non-stop kicking, punching and violence.
When this was released in the U.S. by National General Pictures, it was called The Violent Professionals and used the theme from The Big Boss, a Bruce Lee film that was also made by Golden Harvest. As for the original film score, it outright takes the theme from Shaft — minus the talking about Shaft — over the opening credits, which is pretty much as outlandish an act of theft as it gets.
This movie is just magical. I was on the edge of my seat throughout and was astounded by how intense the fights were and I was beyond on the side of the hero, despite how brutal and cool Erh Ku Da Leung is, a man who takes an arm when someone breaks an arm. If you haven’t gotten into kung fu yet, this is a great place to get started.
Findlay Week (August 18 – 24) Husband and wife Michael and Roberta Findlay made mean-spirited films. They collaborated on films like Take Me Naked, The Ultimate Degenerate, and the notorious Flesh Trilogy, plus they actually looked like criminals – walking mug shots! You expect to see them glowering on the cover of one of those tabloids next to a headline like “KIDNAPPER COUPLE COLLECTED VICTIMS FINGERS.” Instead they were pornographers which did make them like criminals in their day. A lot of the filmmakers of their era would claim they only made this kind of movie because there was money in it, but Michael and Roberta were sincere adherents. Even when audience tastes changed and the couple were divorced they continued to make their own films that mixed in elements of kink and cruelty.
Richard Jennings (director Michael Findlay) is a weapons book author — yes, really — who catches his exotic dancer wife Claudia (Angelique Pettyjohn) in bed with another man (Ron Skideri). Unable to handle it, he runs into the street and gets hit by a car so hard that his eyeball pops out. This traumatic incident convinces him that all woman of loose morals must die by his hand.
And so begins The Flesh Trilogy.
After watching the credits projected on a nude female body and the incident that destroys Richard’s life, we watch as he alternately views near-pneumatic New York City women, from exotic dancers to street walkers, and then kills them with poisoned thorns, a dart gun or a crossbow. It’s rough and raw and later installments would become more technically proficient while nevertheless being even more sadistic and just plain scummy. I do not say these words in a bad way.
Meanwhile, Richard is barking out dialogue like “Once a man’s locked within the hot vice of love that is their thighs, he can never escape.” and grabbing his wife’s chest before trying to kill her, sputtering “Let me see them again and feel them again before they die!” Sure, he starts as a victim and he’s castrated in a way by being trapped in a wheelchair for much of the film, sadly wheeling down 42nd Street, chugging bourbon as he exclaims stuff like “I will slash open the very core of your perversion! Your blood will be testimony of your depravity!” And then he attempts to escape the very sexual vortex of the female being, which sounds very high falutin but keep in mind that as gorgeously grungry as so much of this black and white film looks, there are also people who definitely masturbated in theaters to this.
The credits claim that this was directed by Julian Marsh,which is the name of the character in 42nd Street who is directing the show. Suzanne Marre is final girl Janet, Vivian Del Rio and Sally Farb are two of the dancers and Peggy Steffans (AKA Cleo Nova) appears. That final girl thought is appropriate, as this is as much a slasher as it is a roughie. Actually, it’s such a slasher that Richard dies at the end of it and comes back for the sequel.
Speaking of those James Bond-ish projected credits, that’s Roberta Findlay lying there. And from what I heard, this is where Claudia Jennings got her stage name, transforming from Mary Eileen Chesterton from suburban Illinois into the type of “soft pink trap” that would terrify Richard.
You can get all three of these movies in one set from Vinegar Syndrome.
Struggling artist Lola (Faye Tamasa, Ringworms) has nowhere to stay. She decides to visit her brother Louis (Burt Thakur), who she hasn’t seen for years, and he offers her a place to live. His roommate Cage (Robert Brettenaugh) seems strange but it isn’t for long, right? Well, that’s when the city goes into lockdown for reasons unknown. Is it another pandemic? War? And why are seeds showing up in the mail? Lola plants the seeds, which end up creating a psychedelic plant that warps her brother into another reality and makes Cage even more sinister.
Directed and written by Jake Macpherson, this is a unique feature that creates its own world for the characters, as mostly it’s Lola and Cage on screen with Louis lost somewhere in-between. The plants that grow appear otherworldly, beyond the strange happenings outside like helicopters constantly flying overhead and the TV turning to static. This feels like the worst trip to a drug buddy’s house that gets bad, you get stuck and there’s no way you can leave. It’s tense, gripping and a great first feature from this label and Macpherson.
The MVD release of Terror Firma has a director’s commentary, an extended director’s cut, a gallery of behind the scenes photos and a trailer. You can get it from MVD.
There was a time — let’s call it 1978 — when HBO first entered my life. Unlike predictably scheduled network television, many of the movies ended at odd times. In between, there were all kinds of unplanned content, like Video Jukebox, Arcade Attack, Bambi vs. Godzilla, The Mild Ones and Hardware Wars. As a kid who couldn’t get enough Jedi content in 1978, the fact that this aired every few days on our TV made me overjoyed. Every time it came on, whoever had on HBO would yell for everyone to run into the TV room and watch.
It’s a treasured memory.
I’d like to tell six year old me that I now own a copy of it and can watch it any time that I want. This is a magical feeling, the kind of power that young me never guessed would ever be my reality.
Hardware Wars — and another HBO favorite Porklips Now — came from animator Ernie Fosselius. After making twenty shorts for Sesame Street, he wrote several screenplays that never got filmed, including a Zippy the Pinhead movie. In his career, he’s done everything from foley work on Ed Wood, Serial Mom and The Unbearable Lightness of Being to making props for RoboCop 2, being a founding member of The Mystic Knights of the Oingo Boingo and providing the voices for the pilots in Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, Poggle the Lesser in Star Wars: Episode II – Attack of the Clones, the Rancor Keeper in Return of the Jedi, writing the song that “Lapti Nek” that the Max Rebo Band performs, contributing one of the voices of the arcade game Gauntlet, doing the “Ack! Ack!” Martian voices in Mars Attacks! and performing the voice of Trantor the Troll in Ernest Scared Stupid.
Shot in four days for $8,000, this is George Lucas’ favorite parody of his film. When it was re-released in 1997, Fosselius didn’t take part, as he didn’t see the need to add in digital effects. He was also unhappy with the 2002 re-release that saw animators take out the strings on the puppets, which was intentional.
This movie was obviously made by a fan of the source material, as even Paul Frees — who voiced the Star Wars trailer — is used, making this feel real. His voice warmly reads “Hardware Wars! A spectacle light years ahead of its time! Starring: Fluke Starbucker, intergalactic boy wonder. Augie “Ben” Doggie, venerable member of the Redeye Knights. Princess Anne-Droid, interstellar damsel in distress. Ham Salad, ace mercenary pilot and intergalactic wise guy. Darph Nader, villain.”
Yes, Fluke Starbucker (Scott Mathews) must learn to master The Farce with help from Augue “Ben” Doggie (Jeff Hale, an animator on Sesame Street and Heavy Metal), Artie Deco, 4-Q-2 (Frank Robertson), Princess Anne-Droid (Cindy Furgatch), Ham Salad (Bob Knickerbocker) and Chewchilla the Wookie Monster.
If this line doesn’t make you laugh, this isn’t for you.
Fluke Starbucker: Jeepers! What is it, Augie Ben Doggie? Did you feel a great disturbance in the Force, as if millions of voices cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced?
Auggie Ben Doggie: No, just a little headache.
Being a grown up is not the fun that I hoped that it would be when I was six. At least having this helps.
The MVD release of Hardware Wars has a brand new 2K HD transfer from the only known surviving element, a 16mm Reversal Release print. There’s commentary by Ernie Fosselius, a director’s cut, a prequel featurette, a foreign version, an interview and three other movies: Hardware Wars Saves Christmas, Porklips Now and Plan 9.1 From Outer Space. It has a limited edition slipcover and a collectible mini-poster. You can get it from MVD.
Originally made as Agowa gongpo (Crocodile Fangs), this is the story of Tony Akom (Nat Puvani) and John Stromm (Min Oo), two workaholic doctors always at odds with their wives, who are angry that they work so much. They decide to make up for it and take them on vacation, which is a major mistake, as they are dragged underwater by a crocodile mutated by nuclear testing into an unstoppable creature of wife chewing destruction. Now, they must destroy it and join up with fisherman Tanaka (Manop Asavatep) and a photographer named Peter (Robert Chan Law-Bat) to make it happen.
When the English language version of this film was created by producer Dick Randall, all sorts of cuts happened. Out was the hurricane that opened the original film. In was a new beginning shot by Randall in which a crocodile eats two naked women. This one movie didn’t have enough crocodile human feasting for Randall, who added in a scene from Krai Thongin which three kids turn into a snake. And the ending, in which Tony threw dynamite into the crocodile’s gullet was edited with Peter strapping himself with the TNT and swimming right into the giant mouth of the croc. Above all else, all Jawsrip-offs must end with the beast being blown up. That’s the rules.
What breaks the rules is that much like The Ghost Galleon, I can only imagine that some of the effects in this were created by a toy boat in a bathtub. Yet going even further, this has a reptile crawling all over it.
Original director Sompote Sands also made the aforementioned Krai Thong, as well as The 6 Ultra Brothers vs. the MonsterArmy, Hanuman and the Five Riders (a bootleg Kamen Rider) and Jumborg Ace & Giant.
A warning: This movie was condemned by the American Humane Association for a moment where a real crocodile is murdered on screen. This isn’t Italian, mind you. It’s from Thailand.
The Synapse release of Crocodile has an audio commentary with dearly departed film historian Lee Gambin, an interview with original director Won-se Lee, the original theatrical trailer, and deleted and alternate scenes. You can get it from MVD.
Findlay Week (August 18 – 24) Husband and wife Michael and Roberta Findlay made mean-spirited films. They collaborated on films like Take Me Naked, The Ultimate Degenerate, and the notorious Flesh Trilogy, plus they actually looked like criminals – walking mug shots! You expect to see them glowering on the cover of one of those tabloids next to a headline like “KIDNAPPER COUPLE COLLECTED VICTIMS FINGERS.” Instead they were pornographers which did make them like criminals in their day. A lot of the filmmakers of their era would claim they only made this kind of movie because there was money in it, but Michael and Roberta were sincere adherents. Even when audience tastes changed and the couple were divorced they continued to make their own films that mixed in elements of kink and cruelty.
No matter what Charlie Sheen and Black Emanuelle tell you, snuff movies are urban legends. This movie is probably the reason why so many people think they’re real.
Starting out as a low-budget exploitation film called Slaughter — made by the husband-and-wife team of Michael and Roberta Findlay — it was filmed in Argentina for the low, low price of $30,000. Shot with no sound and concerning a Manson-like cult, it made the film’s moneyman Jack Bravman some money before it was released, as AIP paid to use the title for its Jim Brown blacksploitation vehicle of the same name.
Allan Shackleton, who produced Misty and Blue Summer, had shelved the film for four years when he released with a new ending, shot to look like actual footage, based on an article he had read about South American snuff films. This led to the film’s tagline: The film that could only be made in South America… where life is cheap!
The new ending shows the crew of Slaughter killing one of the actresses for real, with the abrupt ending and lack of credits all planned to make the movie appear legitimate. Then, Shackleton hired fake protesters to picket movie theaters showing the film. That blew up, as even though the fact that the film was exposed as a hoax in a 1976 issue of Variety, it kept getting more popular. At one point, protests reached such fervor that New York District Attorney Robert M. Morgenthau investigated the movie.
The plot of this movie is paper-thin. Actress Terry London (Mirta Massa, Miss International 1967) and her producer Max Marsh visit South America. She gets pregnant by another man and a female-filled biker cult led by a man named Satan stalks and murders her.
As for the infamous murder sequence, shot in the New York production studio of adult film director Carter Stevens (who made movies for the Avon Theater chain as well as the adult film Punk Rock), it’s very tacked on. But if you’re coming to see someone get murdered, do you even care about art?
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