Directed by Gérard Pirès — who wrote the story with the author of the book that it’s based on, Jean-Patrick Manchette, although John Buell’s novel The Shrewsdale Exit has also been cited as an inspiration in other places — L’agression is the story of Paul Varlin (Jean-Louis Trintignant), who obviously has road rage issues. Well, after some bikers hit on his wife, those very same men end up nearly killing him and his family.
Stay tuned. As Paul pulls over, he charges the three helmeted motorcycle maniacs, who knock him out and then assault and kill his wife and daughter. Yes, Paul has screwed up and he can’t admit it to himself. All he wants is revenge.
There’s also Sarah (Catherine Deneuve), the sister of Paul’s dead wife, who realizes that her brother-in-law is going about this as badly as you can imagine. He’s no Paul Kersey. She even saves them both at one point, as she’s a better physical fighter — and maybe even mental — than he is.
Pirès went on to make the comedy series Taxi in France. There’s no hint of that in this movie.
Takanishi (Hideki Saijo) just watched his lover Reiki get killed in a Yakuza crossfire. Instead of just letting it pass, he’s in a V-Cinema movie, which means that he’s going to kill everyone who did him wrong. And because this was directed by Teruo Ishii (The Executioner, Shogun’s Joy Of Torture, Horrors of Malformed Men), that means that revenge is going to be so bloody that you won’t believe it — like a garbage truck chasing down Yakuza until they’re smashed into gore.
This was the first movie the director made in 12 years. He was seemingly ready to go wild.
There’s also catgirl thief Minako Fujimoto, love hotel queen Kimiko Yo, plenty of bad guys to shoot and an ending that’s just guns and naked women in still photos, making you wish that Teruo Ishii made this even longer.
The Hitman: Blood Smells Like Roses is just one of the movies in the Arrow Video V-Cinema Essentials: Bullets & Betrayal set. The set includes a newly filmed introduction by Japanese film critic Masak Tanioka, a video essay by Japanese cinema expert Frankie Balboa and a trailer. You can get this from MVD.
I’ve written at length about the Female Prisoner Scorpion series, as they’re some of my favorite movies ever—Beast Stable is one of the best things the human race has made—so I wasn’t really looking forward to seeing a direct-to-video reimagining of the first movie.
Man, I was wrong.
Nami Matsushima (Meiko Kaji) is — was? — the Scorpion, an unkillable prisoner who did more than get revenge. She is the patron saint of wronged women throughout Japanese prisons, a whispered name that is worshipped and feared.
This begins with an unnamed woman (Natsuki Okamoto) being trapped in hardening concrete before the barrel she’s in falls off a truck, freeing her, before she’s trained by the yakuza to be an assassin, sent to prison and let loose in the catacombs below the cells — the same place Scorpion was in all the way back in Female Prisoner Scorpion: Jailhouse 41 — and murder Scorpion to gain revenge for the warden, who lost his eye to the legendary lady’s sharpened spoon.
But can you kill an idea? Or better yet, can you become one? The systems that keep women in prison, that ruin lives, they want Scorpion dead for sure because she inspires people. When the unnamed heroine finds Scorpion, she’s long gone, walled into concrete, but she is holding her spoon as if she died fighting. Except that her hand opens, releasing the spoon into our new heroine’s hand before disappearing. Now, Scorpion is reborn, but more to the point, she can never die.
Directed and written by Toshiharu Ikeda (Mermaid Legend, Sex Hunter), this movie is about as perfect as a down-and-dirty, low-budget VHS tape can be. How amazing is it that it’s in a perfect Arrow box set, cleaned up and still ready to destroy your brains? I couldn’t love a movie more.
Female Prisoner Scorpion: Death Threat is just one of the movies in the Arrow Video V-Cinema Essentials: Bullets & Betrayal set. The set includes a newly filmed introduction by Japanese film critic Masak Tanioka, a video essay by film historian Samm Deighan and a trailer. You can get this from MVD.
In 2010 — 9 years in the future from when this was made, 15 years in the past from when this was written! — Jason is captured by the U.S. government but can’t be killed, so government scientist Rowan LaFontaine decides to place the killer in suspended animation. Of course, a bunch of soldiers screws the whole thing up and Jason kills everyone in his path before he stabs Rowan and freezing both of them.
445 years later, Earth is ruined, so everyone moves to Earth 2. So why not send some students back to the old Earth on a field trip? Why not send their Professor and an android, too? While exploring the Crystal Lake facility where Jason was experimented on? And why not put the still frozen bodies of Jason and Rowan on the Grendel, their ship? Nothing bad can happen, right?
Well, it turns out that Jason is dead and his body could be worth plenty. The Professor calls his money man, Dieter Perez (Robert A. Silverman, who has been in five Cronenberg* movies and the two episodes of Friday the 13th: The Series that he directed, too), and they discuss how Jason’s body could be worth something to collectors. Luckily — or maybe not — they bring Rowan back to life.
Of course, kids keep having sex around Jason, which brings the maniac back to life. He wipes out nearly everyone on the ship, including all the soldiers on board. He even takes out an entire space station!
The teens upgrade their android, KM-14, which wipes out Jason. Or so everyone thinks — a medical station brings him back as Uber Jason, filled with cybernetics so powerful that he can punch the android’s head off. Not even a holographic simulation or a shuttle crash can slow him down! It takes flying him through re-entry and burning him up to take him out.
That said — two teens see his mask land on Earth 2, so he could always return. He can come back, right?
This was written by Todd Farmer (Drive Angry, the remake of My Bloody Valentine) and directed by James Isaac (House 3). I have a real weakness for this film as it goes places none of the others did. It’s the Abbott and Costello school of running out of ideas and doing something completely off the wall. It’s been a punchline forever, but you owe it to yourself to watch it again!
*Cronenberg shows up in a cameo as Dr. Wimmer, too!
The Arrow Video UHD release of Jason X has an introduction to the film by Kane Hodder, three audio commentaries (film historians Michael Felsher and Steve “Uncle Creepy” Barton; writer Todd Farmer and author Peter Bracke; director Jim Isaac, writer Todd Farmer and producer Noel Cunningham), an interview with Harry Manfredini, a making of, archival interviews with Farmer and actor Kristi Angus, archival docs on the history of the character and the making of the movie, cast and crew interviews, behind the scenes footage, an electronic press kit, trailers and TV commercials and stills, behind the scenes and poster galleries, all inside a reversible sleeve featuring original and newly commissioned artwork by Gary Pullin with a double-sided foldout poster featuring original and newly commissioned artwork by Gary Pullin and an illustrated collector’s booklet featuring new writing on the film by Matt Donato and JA Kerswell. You can get it from MVD.
At Camp Crystal Lake, an undercover government agent lures Jason into a trap, blowing him up real good. I saw this scene in a movie theater in Youngstown, OH (former murder capital of the US!) and the crowd cheered their name being mentioned as a place Jason had been seen.
Soon after, the body is being examined by a coroner who is moved to eat the heart and ingest the spirit of Jason. He goes right back to Crystal Lake and right back to killing him. And now comes the part of the story that no one has ever figured out until now, making the story just like Halloween(again!): Creighton Duke (Steven Williams, Dr. Detroit) is a bounty hunter who learns that only members of Jason’s bloodline can truly kill him. Even worse, if he can possess a family member, he’ll become invincible.
Jason’s only living relatives are his half-sister Diana Kimble (Erin Gray!), her daughter Jessica, and Stephanie, the infant daughter of Jessica and Steven Freeman (John D. LeMay, who played Ryan Dallion on the otherwise unrelated Friday the 13th: The Series).
Jessica is now dating tabloid TV reporter Robert Campbell (Steven Culp, Rex Van de Kamp from Desperate Housewives), yet Steven saves her from Jason. He gets blamed for her mother’s death, and just as Robert is about to take advantage, Jason goes into his body, all to impregnate his half-sister and make a perfect Jason baby. Oh, incest, we were waiting for you to show up.
Meanwhile, Jason wipes out most of the police in town. But then Duke the bounty hunter steals the baby and demands that Jessica meet him at the Vorhees house alone, so that he can give her the mystical dagger that can kill Jason. Now this film has become The Omen.
Despite all this, the heart that is Jason grows into a demonic infant and then crawls into a dead woman’s vagina and is reborn. Yes, you just read that sentence correctly. And man, I said that 5 was the scummiest entry in the series!
It all works out — the dagger releases all of the souls that Jason has accumulated and demonic forces drag him into hell. At the end of the movie, a dog finds Jason’s mask and of all things, Freddy’s gloved hand pulls it into the ground!
The late great Mike McBeardo McPadden wrote about watching this scene on 42nd Street, where the crowd went wilder than any he’d ever experienced and that a man screamed to no one in particular, in the dark, “Freddy wants somebody to play with … IN HELL!!!!” Man, I wish I were there for that. You should also grab his Heavy Metal Movieshere at Bazillion Points Books.
Finally, after all these years, Freddy and Jason were set to battle. But guess what? We’d have to wait ten years for it to happen. Because, after all, Jason had to go to space first. Arrow has also released that on UHD.
The Arrow Video UHD of Jason Goes to Hell has both a theatrical and unrated cut.
Extras include an introduction to the theatrical cut by director Adam Marcus, interviews with special make-up effects creator Robert Kurtzman, actor Julie Michaels, composer Harry Manfredini and director Adam Marcus; a feature on Marcus on growing up with the Cunninghams; an archival interview with Kane Hodder; extra footage from the TV version; a trailer and TV commercial and still, behind the scenes and poster galleries.
The uncensored cut has three commentary tracks: one by film historians Michael Felsher and Steve “Uncle Creepy” Barton, another with Marcus and author Peter Bracke, and one with Marcus and screenwriter Dean Lorey.
It all comes inside a reversible sleeve featuring original and newly commissioned artwork by Gary Pullin, a double-sided foldout poster featuring original and newly commissioned artwork by Gary Pullin and an illustrated collector’s booklet featuring new writing on the film by JA Kerswell and original production notes.
This Blu-ray release from the MVD Rewind Collection marks the first high-definition appearance of both features, presented in their original 1.33:1 aspect ratio. Because both films were originally shot and edited on standard definition videotape, they’ve been carefully remastered using advanced AI upscaling from 480p to 1080p resolution. Packaged with a collectible slipcover, this release is the definitive way to revisit these irreverent, sun-soaked cult comedies that turned a bucket of water and a bikini into box office gold.
The Bikini Carwash Company (1990): George “Buck” Flower was working on a TV show called Nutz, Yutz and Klutzand it was set in a car wash. He wondered what a movie would be like with attractive women working in a car wash and here we are.
Directed and co-written by Ed Hansen (Takin’ It Off, Takin’ It Off Out West), this starts with Jack McCowan (Joe Dusic) looking for the local Sunshine Car Wash, which he is supposed to manage for his Uncle Elmer (Michael Wright). He meets Melissa Reese (Kristi Ducati, Meatballs 4, Sorceress), makes a date and a business plan. She has plenty of friends who wear swimsuits. Perhaps they can wash cars.
For some reason, things hit a stumbling block when Assistant District Attorney Donovan Drake (Matthew Cory Dunn) and the police show up to try and stop the nearly-naked car spraying. But that’s a minor bump as most of this movie is just breasts on windshields. Seriously, it’s devotion to women buffing and sudsing cars is single-brained.
I mean, there are also butts.
So yes, the car wash is open and Amy (Rikki Brando, Buford’s Beach Bunnies), Sunny (Sara Suzanne Brown, who shows up in the sequel as well as Gregory Dark’s Secret Games 2: The Escort), Tammy Joe (Brook Lynn Page in her only role), Stanley (Eric Ryan), Big Bruce (Scott James) for the ladies and Rita (Neriah Davis, Playboy Playmate of the Month March 1994).
Also: Jim Wynorski shows up.
The Bikini Carwash Company II (1993): What questions remained unanswered by the first movie? So many cars need to be washed, so I guess there’s some reason for this movie, which at least has a different director in Gary Dean Orona, who started a career of sexy movies with this effort.
At least this has a reason to be: the carwash gets so big that a gigantic company buys it and the girls need to raise $4 million in a week to get the car wash back. The carwash women — nearly all of them are back, such as Melissa Reese (Kristi Ducati), Amy (Rikki Brando), Sunny (Sara Suzanne Brown) and Rita (Neriah Davis) are here — decide to sell lingerie on TV to get the cash they need.
I applaud that Melissa has become the CEO and Amy the lawyer. They realize their bodies have power but so do their minds. But sometimes, I wonder why so many of my friends are successes. They can discuss strategy and money and investing. I can at length with no research discuss sex comedies.
Directed by Yôichi Sai, who wrote it with Wui-Sin Chong, this has a gang of criminals trying to steal a few million dollars from American marines in Okinawa. Seiji Matano plays the leader of these rugged and rough crooks, a long-haired, brooding bad guy who remains in control of every situation while being as cool as possible.
There’s also a jazzy soundtrack that I enjoyed and Okinawa looks beautiful.
While this is longer than most V-Cinema and perhaps not as quickly violent as others, it’s not bad. As usual with criminal films, the gang itself may doom the situation before the USMC or cops catch them.
Burning Dog is just one of the movies in the Arrow Video V-Cinema Essentials: Bullets & Betrayal set. The set includes a newly filmed introduction by Japanese film critic Masak Tanioka, a video essay by critic and Japanese cinema expert Mark Schilling and a trailer. You can get this from MVD.
A Brazilian-Japanese criminal plays yakuza gangs against each other, but bites off much more than he can chew. Inspired by a story that director Kazuhiro Kiuchi read about a Taiwanese gangster going to Japan to escape arrest, this is the story of Carlos (Takenaka Naoto), who finds himself in the middle of a gang war between the Yamashiro and Harakawa families.
As the old man of the Yamashiro gang (Minoru Oki) tries to find his successor, he finds that everyone he wanted for the job is dead. It may have been Hayakawa (Yuzo Hayakawa), whom Katayama (Ryuji Katagiri) wants dead, so he can be first in line. And then there’s Sato (Goichi Yamada), who has brought in an American monster of a hitman (Chuck Wilson) to do his dirty work.
Blood, guns and neon are the order of the day. Ah, V-Cinema. Short, sweet and full of violence!
Carlos is just one of the movies in the Arrow Video V-Cinema Essentials: Bullets & Betrayal set. The set includes a newly filmed introduction by Japanese film critic Masak Tanioka, an interview with director Kazuhiro Kiuchi and a video essay by critic and Japanese cinema expert Jonathan Clements. You can get this from MVD.
The law in this one, Inspector Henry Kyle, is Ron Moody from Oliver!
Antonio is Pepe Hern and Rosa is Alma Beltran.
What happens?
Diego Santana is about to turn sixty, but he has a young wife, a friendly ex-wife and a great family. And oh yeah, he’s friends with Jessica, so he’s about to die. Also, Romero was 78 when this was made, but he looks great.
Diego thinks he’s about to be killed, and he warns Jessica, but yeah, he dies. Are you surprised? Well, it could be anyone: his son Miguel, who is stealing his paintings; his ex-wife Bella and pal Stefan, who is trying to get with Margo, Diego’s young wife.
Whoever did it really did it — with a crossbow! And they also try to set a shed on fire and kill Margo!
Who did it?
Sir John, who needs money, thinks that his paintings will be worth more if Diego dies.
Who made it?
TV movie king John Llewellyn Moxey directed this episode, which was written by series creator Peter S. Fischer.
Does Jessica get some?
Not now, but soon. When Jessica leaves, she tells Inspector Kyle that she plans to stop in England to see a cousin and that she could perhaps find time to see him. He tells her he’ll be waiting at the gate with a bouquet of flowers: “I shall be at the airport to greet you. Flowers in hand, heart on sleeve, and perhaps a murder to solve?”
Does Jessica dress up and act stupid?
No.
Was it any good?
Yes. This has another great cast and a good whodunnit.
Any trivia?
This was filmed at Arden Villa, the Dynasty Mansion, in Pasadena, California. It also appears in four more episodes.
Give me a reasonable quote:
Diego Santana: Bravo, Pedro. Ohh. The finest donkey I’ve ever seen. I think, perhaps, uh, the legs are a bit short, huh?
What’s next?
A private detective, hired by Jessica to research an old case, is suddenly murdered.
After doing a jail bid for embezzlement, Kiriko (Yuko Natori) leads a quiet life, driving a cab overnight. The problem is that someone is stalking her in a gigantic Land Cruiser. Yes, it’s Duel, but in a Japan that is falling to pieces and in the middle of an economic collapse.
Directed and written by Shunichi Nagasaki, this is a V-Cinema movie committed to keeping your eyes on the screen. There’s never time to get bored and Kiriko, despite her checkered past, is a heroine who you can get behind. Every man in her life is horrible and when that gigantic truck keeps coming near — Nagasaki was inspired by the story of a female taxi driver who told him during a ride just how dangerous her job is — it’s thrilling.
Is the driver someone she hurt before? Or has man’s inhumanity to man kept that from even being possible? Maybe someone just like to frighten women. You’ll find out.
Stranger is just one of the movies in the Arrow Video V-Cinema Essentials: Bullets & Betrayal set. The set includes a newly filmed introduction by Japanese film critic Masak Tanioka and an interview with director Shunichi Nagasaki. You can get this from MVD.
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