Bucheon International Fantastic Film Festival 2025: V/H/S Beyond (2024)

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EDITOR’S NOTE: Apologies for how late this is — catching up on so much work!

The seventh installment in the V/H/S franchise, this has a framing device with director Jay Cheel receiving an anonymous email with footage of actual aliens, similar to the Canadian urban legend of Farrington House.

“Stork” is directed by Jordan Downey, who wrote it with Kevin Stewart. Based on artwork by Oleg Vdovenko, it has a police group known as W.A.R.D.E.N. fighting an alien creature that looks like a stork and eats brains and then baby birds them into infants’ mouths.

“Dream Girl”, directed by Virat Pal — and co-written with Evan Dickson, has two paparazzi tring to get photos of superstar Tara, a Bollywood actress who ends up being an android who can take faces and body parts and wants to “rule as a commoner.”

“Live and Let Dive” by Justin Martinez, who wrote it with Ben Turner, is pretty harrowing, as aliens interrupt skydiving, turning a birthday celebration into a violent first-person shooter. I loved this part, as it feels absolutely insane and never lets up.

“Fur Babies” by Christian and Justin Long feels like the kind of shock ending made by people who only watch the HBO Tales from the Crypt and never read the comic book or saw the Amicus films. A bunch of animal activists literally go to the dogs when a taxidermy expert transforms them into human puppy hybrids. Oh, Justin Long, you can’t stop loving getting turned into animals, can you?

“Stowaway” is directed by Kate Siegel and written by Mike Flanagan. It tells the story of a woman who stows away on an alien ship and finds herself on a trip across the galaxy, where she is healed by nanites that enter her body.

Every franchise eventually goes to space. At least this one — for the most part — does a great job of it.

Murder, She Wrote S2 E8: Dead Heat (1985)

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Jessica goes to the races to watch her niece ride the winning horse, but then the horse’s disagreeable owner is murdered after a dispute.

Season 2, Episode 8: Dead Heat (November 24, 1985)

Tonight on Murder, She Wrote…

Jessica has the difficult task of proving that her niece was framed for the murder of a horse breeder. We can all relate to that kind of rich people’s life, right?

Who’s in it, outside of Angela Lansbury, and were they in any exploitation movies?

Vicky Gallagos is played by Priscilla Barnes, who replaced Suzanne Somers on Three’s Company and also shows up in The Devil’s Rejects. She was also in Lords of the Deep, Stepfather 3 and Tintorera. Her husband, Carlos, is played by Bert Rosario.

Ramon Bieri played Pat Phillips, the first of three times he’d be on this show.

Jack Cart,– the mayor from Alligat,— is Cliff Carpenter. Playing his wife Christine is Carole Cook, a student of Lucille Ball.

Jack Bowen is played by Lonny Chapman from The Birds, The Witch Who Came from the Sea and plenty of TV.

Vince Shackman is Norman Fell, and I wonder if he and Priscilla Barnes gossiped between takes.

Jessica’s niece, Tracy, is played by Linda Grovenor, and in the same year she made this episode, she was in Wheels of Fire. Life’s crazy.

Is that Clu Gulager? Yep. You know it. He was in three episodes of this show.

Roy Thinnes, who was on The Invaders and The Norliss Tapes, plays Lt. Ted Misko.

Im smaller roles, Cookie Milford is Derrel Maury, Erine is Tom Dreesen, Mr. P is Robert Ellenstein, Alex Rebar plays a gunman, Freddye Chapman is a nurse, Don Matheson is the chief steward, Stu Gilliam is a cab driver, Tony Ballen and Richard Paradise (those sound like porn names) are bookies, Faith Burton, George Sasaki, Walter Spear and Ken Clayton are watches the horse races, Mel Gold is a trainer and Joe Faust is a guard.

What happens?

Jessica goes to watch her niece, Tracy, race on the very day she gets promoted to ride Jack Bowen’s prize horse, Anchors Away. For some reason, everyone is betting on this race, from the wife of its jockey — who had to go to the emergency room — Viky, some mob guys and a husband and wife who are at the track every day. Tracy wins, the owner is killed, and the cops appear to arrest Tracy on suspicion of fixing the race.

Good thing Jessica showed up.

Another good reason is that Tracy is the suspect in the murder of the owner, which is fantastic to be able to get promoted, win a race and kill your boss all in the same day. Tracy’s LinkedIn has to be incredible.

What follows is the mob wanting to know what happened, Jessica using a carrot to test a horse, a horse nearly trampling Jessica and finally, a second fake Anchors Away.

Who did it?

The wife of the jockey, Vicky.

Who made it?

This episode was directed by Peter Crane and written by J. Miyoko and Steven Hensley, who also scripted the TV Movies Finder of Lost Loves, Can You Feel Me Dancing?, Remo Williams: The Prophecy and episodes of Magnum, P.I.

Does Jessica get some?

No.

Does Jessica dress up and act stupid?

No.

Was it any good?

It’d be better if Jessica dressed silly and got some dick.

Any trivia?

This is one of the few episodes to mention Jessica’s brother, Martin.

Jessica says that she’s a Pisces, so her birthday is between February 19 and March 20. In real life, Angela Lansbury was a Libra, born on October 16, 1925.

Give me a reasonable quote:

Bookie #1: Separately, it’s peanuts, Vince. Put it together, and we’re chokin’.

Bookie #2: How did we know Mike Gann was bettin’ all over town?

Vince Shackman: I can add.

What’s next?

Jessica visits a women’s prison and is held captive when an uprising occurs because of abuse and murder at the facility. This episode is a Sam dream cast: Eve Plumb, Vera Miles, Yvonna De Carlo, Adrienne Barbeau and Mary Woronov.

Bucheon International Fantastic Film Festival 2025: Legends of the Condor Heroes: The Gallants (2025)

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EDITOR’S NOTE: Apologies for how late this is — catching up on so much work!

Guo Jing may have wandered the martial world honing his skills, but he has learned to appreciate the time he spends with his lover, Huang Rong. However, his tranquility goes away when he learns that Huang Rong’s father is the man who has killed his masters. Yet he has gone to anger too quickly, as it was all a misunderstanding and now, he may have lost her love forever. He must also come to terms with the man who raised him, Genghis Khan, and choose between family loyalty and justice.

Based on chapters 34 through 40 of Jin Yong’s legendary martial arts novel The Legend of the Condor Heroes and directed by the legendary Tsui Hark, this brings back the feeling of large-scale Shaw Brothers wuxia films. Hark has already made two other adaptations of the book, Swordsman and Swordsman II.

I loved the end of this film, where Guo Jing pushes through thousands of soldiers to have an audience with Genghis Khan and speaks to him of heroism and the responsibility of protecting one’s own people.

Currently the highest-grossing wuxia movie in Chinese cinema, this has a perfect use of its leads, Xiao Zhan and Tony Leung Ka-fai (Big Tony, not Tony Leung Chiu-wai, who is Little Tony).

Sizzlin’ Summer of Side-Splitters 2025: Relaxer (2019)

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Aug 18-24 indie comix week: When I was a kid, I used to read Mad Magazine and Cracked, so when I got a little older, it didn’t take much convincing to pick up Eightball and Hate. I’m an OG in the “complaining about superheroes” game, and my scars were anointed on the Comics Journal message board!

Directed, written and produced by Joel Potrykus, this is a Y2K movie 20 years too late and that’s why I love it.

In 1999, Cam (David Dastmalchian) gives his younger brother Abbie (Joshua Burge) a challenge: Beat level 256 of Pac-Man or never get off the couch. Then, Y2K ruins the world, but the game continues and Abbie is frozen to the couch, half awake, half dreaming, still running through the mazes with Inky, Blinky, Pinky and Clyde. Then, he blows up Cam just like Scanners.

I told you the whole story but in no way will this spoil this film.

Set in the same universe as The Alchemist Cookbook — both have Cortez (Amari Cheatom) show up — and Adina Howard is also in this, a movie so made in Michigan that the soda is Faygo.

This movie will remind you: No one can drink an entire gallon of milk.

You can watch this on Tubi.

A24 4K UHD RELEASE: Bring Her Back (2025)

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The follow-up to Talk to Me and inspired by psycho-biddy horror, Danny and Michael Philippou tell the story of Andy (Billy Barratt) and his partially sighted step-sister Piper (Sora Wong), who have gone from finding their father’s dead body in the shower to living with a counselor, Laura (Sally Hawkins). She lost her daughter, Cathy (Mischa Heywood), due to an accidental drowning.

Laura is also fostering Oliver (Jonah Wren Phillips), a boy who she has infused with — and here’s where the movie leaves reality behind — a demon named Tari, whom she learned how to incarnate via a Russian videotape. As part of this strange rite, Oliver will eat the body of Laura’s dead daughter, Cathy — who is being kept in a freezer in the garage — and regurgitate it into Piper, who will become Cathy.

Yes, it’s an absolutely insane idea. Still, everything else surrounding this idea is based in reality, a world where Andy is fighting through a concussion and grief and regret over his past behavior in the wake of his father’s abuse.

I found this superior to Talk to Me and look forward to what these two decide to do in the future. This just has the right edge of menace, with drowning and constant rain continually being presented as equally upsetting events. It also realizes that sometimes even the smallest body damage can be the most disgusting.

The a24 4K UHD release of this film has a commentary track by Danny and Michael Philippou, a deleted scene, a making-of feature and six collectible postcards. You can get it from Diabolik DVD.

TUBI ORIGINAL: The Divorce Lawyer (2025)

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Zahra Jones (Ciera Angelia) loves her husband Mark (Marcus Woods), but he’s so into his job that he moves away, abandoning her. He tries to stay in touch, but come on, she’s a beautiful black woman in a Tubi Original. There’s no way she’s not getting back out there and getting over him by getting under someone else. It ends up being her divorce attorney Joshua Wright (Jake Newton), who, as soon as you see his white ginger look, you’ll say, “That guy’s crazy.” You’re right.

In a matter of moments, Zahra and Mark are back together and quickly get over the past that she let another guy beat her guts, but whatever. They’re grown, as they say. They can do what they want, no matter how dumb they are. Because Joshua is one of those rich maniacs who has a secretary (Bella Chadwick) who is in sexual servitude to him and who can casually murder your best friend (Robyn Rose) and brag about it before using the white cops and privilege and being wealthy to get Mark in trouble instead of the other way around.

Director David Y. Chung gets why we watch Tubi Originals. People acting borderline mental for 90 minutes. In this world, event planners can have the sexiest, most deadly lives.

You can watch this on Tubi.

Sizzlin’ Summer of Side-Splitters 2025: Cabin Boy (1994)

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Aug 18-24 indie comix week: When I was a kid, I used to read Mad Magazine and Cracked, so when I got a little older, it didn’t take much convincing to pick up Eightball and Hate. I’m an OG in the “complaining about superheroes” game, and my scars were anointed on the Comics Journal message board!

No boss I have ever worked for has said something to me that I remember more than toss off Chris Elliot lines, things like “I do this little trick with measuring spoons,” “We’ve lost a lot of good men in mine 5, Dave,” and “I’m a male model, not a male prostitute.” No actor has summed up the weirdness that I love in comedy better than Robin Williams, and no movie shows what I love more than Cabin Boy. It’s my Star Wars.

Directed by Adam Resnick, who wrote the film with Elliot, this is less a movie than a collection of strange moments. Fancy lad Nathaniel Mayweather (Elliot) annoys everyone, which keeps him from getting on the right boat and boarding The Filthy Whore, a ship under the helm of Captain Greybar (Ritch Brinkley). When Nathaniel causes the death of Kenny (Andy Richter), the cabin boy, he must take over and be at sea for months, perhaps never getting to Hawaii. The crew, Skunk (Brian Doyle-Murray), Pappy (James Gammon) and Teddy (Brion James) will kill him way before that happens.

Or maybe they won’t. But it comes close, with him stuck in Hell’s Bucket, on his own on a raft for days at a time, burning himself by covering his body with cooking oil and drinking salt water. Only Choki (Russ Tamblyn), half-shark, half-man, saves him. The giant Mulligan (Mike Starr) almost gets him — for sleeping with his multi-armed wife Calli (Ann Magnuson), after which he yells, “These pipes are clean” — but Nathaniel is either lucky or learning. He even gets Trina (Melora Walters) to fall for him.

Chris Elliott earned a Razzie Award nomination for Worst New Star, but lost to Anna Nicole Smith for Naked Gun 33+1⁄3: The Final Insult. Now and forever, fuck the Razzies.

This is a movie that you must like to be one of my friends. If you don’t get it, I’m not sure we can ever connect in a meaningful way.

GET WEIRD WITH THE DIA DF

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This Saturday at 8 PM EST on the Groovy Doom Facebook and YouTube channels, Bill, Sam and Mike Justice present two strange films.

Want to know what we’ve shown before? Check out this list.

Have a request? Make it here.

Want to see one of the drink recipes from a past show? We have you covered.

First, Swamp of the Ravens. You can watch it on Tubi.

Every show, we watch movies, chat with you, show ad campaigns and have drinks.

Here’s this week’s first cocktail.

Ravens or Vultures

  • 1 oz. vodka
  • 1 oz. rum
  • 1 oz. blue curacao
  • 1 oz. Chambord
  1. Shake vodka, rum and blue curacao in a shaker with ice. Strain into a glass filled with ice.
  2. Layer Chambord above it.

Our second movie is one that obsesses both Mike and me. Death Wish Club is on Tubi.

Here’s the second drink.

Death Wish Club

  • 1 oz. whiskey
  • 1 oz. peach whiskey
  • 1 oz. orange juice
  • .25 oz. grenadine
  • 2 oz. lemon-lime soda
  1. Pour it all in a glass with ice and stir.
  2. Allow a mutant bug to almost kill you, then drink.

Get ready — these are some really strange and wonderful movies.

TUBI ORIGINAL: Can’t Have It All (2025)

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Fashion stylist Ari (Grace Sol) hasn’t looked at the title of the movie that she’s in. I mean, to be fair, she’s in a science fiction movie. How else do we describe a world where women pay male cam actors for FaceTime sex? I mean, yes, it is Johnny Longway (Leandre White), but I think that perhaps no woman has ever paid for cyber sex or watching guys on cam.

Anyways, after she gets cock blocked by her boyfriend Todd (Daniel Jeffries), she goes and jills off before getting into a second relationship with Darnell (D. Da Don). Then, she decides that she still won’t look at the name of her movie and gets both to move in with her. Arguments about breakfast come quickly.

Directed by Beasy Jones and Rodney Sizemore, this is one of those movies where people keep making bad decisions before meeting violent ends and the whole time, you wonder, “Do you realize how off everyone is here?” No one cares, because it’s a movie and if they could hear you, that would be weird.

This might be the most entertaining Tubi Original ever because everyone in at starts at 10 and then just cranks it up. Everything is the end of the world. Everyone is a horrible person. Everyone just wants Ari, and she pays for it. Also: Tremendous CGI gunfire.

You can watch this on Tubi.

CAULDRON FILMS BLU-RAY RELEASE: House of Lost Souls (1989)

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Hell yeah this is Ghosthouse 3 — yeah, I’m way into the Ghosthouse and La Casa movies — and it is filled with all the magic and absolutely baffling things that make the original film something that I love like others feel appreciation for fine paintings or great food.

Directed and written by Umberto Lenzi, this movie has the most basic of outlines, as a group of people stay at a cursed hotel. And then, as I like to say, hijinks ensue.

There’s a ghost monk that wouldn’t exist if Romero didn’t include a Hare Krishna in one of his movies, as well as a bear trap bloodbath that is pretty darn upsetting and all the head lopping, knife stabbing and a child killed by a washing machine, which is the kind of thing that makes Italian horror — even at the end of it all — so worthwhile.

Plus — Claudio Simonetti makes music that absolutely works for this. Seriously, the ghost movies of Lenzi are the hot chocolate at the end of a cold day, a balm for my constantly besieged and worried soul.

This Cauldron Films release is for the non-box set retail edition of House of Lost Souls. It has a new 2K restoration and extras including two commentaries, one with Rod Barnett and Adrian Smith and the other with Samm Deighan. There are also interviews with FX artist Elio Terribili, composer Claudio Simonetti and Umberto Lenzi. You can order it from MVD.

Bonus: You can hear me discuss these movies on my podcast: