EDITOR’S NOTE: Did you know that Visual Vengeance has a ton of movies on Tubi? It’s true. Check out this Letterboxd list and look for reviews as new movies get added. You can find this movie on Tubi.

Directed, written, produced, starring and edited by Mark Polonia, this movie makes Carnosaur look like a 5D CGI spectacle by comparison, but come on. It was shot by a teenager in Pennsylvania and has the energy that that statement embodies.

I mean, what’s your tolerance for stop motion dinosaurs on green screen and Amiga graphics? You’re either the kind of person that looks at this and thinks it’s complete junk or you get obsessed and can’t turn away. There’s really no in-between. You know what side I end up on, because I’ve seen so many Polonia films, like the sequel to this, Saurians 2. Hell, I even have a signed copy.

Explosions wake up two dinosaurs, who proceed to destroy most of Mark’s hometown, Wellsboro, PA. It looks like this movie is all him and not as much of his brother John, who does show up as an extra. And Mark cares about you, his audience, so much that he even has his future wife do a shower scene.

But yeah. Rubbery dinosaurs.

EDITOR’S NOTE: Did you know that Visual Vengeance has a ton of movies on Tubi? It’s true. Check out this Letterboxd list and look for reviews as new movies get added. You can find this movie on Tubi.

Todd Sheets has disavowed this movie but it’s still got its charms. Lisa (Lori Hassel) wanders through, well, a Nightmare Asylum for around an hour. There’s a creepy family, some killers, a Leatherface-like big boss and a zombie pit at the end, all in a movie that was shot at various points with several different groups of people and then edited into whatever this is.

The star of the whole thing is The Devil’s Dark Side Haunted House where this was made. It’s already got some cool lighting and fog, plus you get to see some horror icons inside an SOV. Sheets is a big fan of Fulci and you can see the absolute movie idea from The Beyond in this, except that sound goes in and out so much and the video quality defines murky and this only dreams of the budget of the cheapest of Italian film.

But man, I do love Enochian Key’s songs and Gustav Holst’s “The Planets,” which is super classy compared to what’s happening inside the movie.

The good news is that Sheets really improved as a filmmaker without losing the strange energy that is all over the place here. That makes me so happy.

A hospital is plagued by black magic that can only be stopped by a married pair of physicians from Hong Kong, Dr. Zhongping Qi (Ti Lung) and his wife, Ciuling (Tanny). The skeptical wife volunteers for a ritual, uncovering an evil, zombie-controlling wizard, Kang Cong (Lo Lieh), who sustains his youth by drinking human breast milk.

Directed by Meng-Hua Ho and written by Kuang Ni, the paragraph above does describe the story, but so much happens that it can barely contain the wildness of this movie. An exotic dancer named Miss Hong (Terry Liu) ages while having sex, eyeballs are destroyed like Fulci took a trip to Hong Kong, nails go through the heads of zombies, sex causes mayhem, and doctors have to treat worms under the skin and pus-filled growths that appear to be human faces.

The evil black magician decides he wants Dr. Zhensheng Shi’s (Lam Wai Tiu) wife, Margaret (Lily Li), so he possesses her and brings her to his manor, shaves all her pubic hair, burns it, and then turns her into his breast milk machine. The very next day, she’s fully pregnant and gives birth to a bloody mutant. This is but another hurdle for our heroes to jump over. Yet even when a witch doctor fails against the voodoo dolls of Kang Cong, what hope do they have?

This was released in the U.S. as Revenge of the Zombies.

The Arrow Vide0 release of this film, part of the Shaw Scope Volume 4 set, has a high definition (1080p) Blu-ray presentation, newly restored in 2K from the original negatives by Arrow Films. There’s a commentary track by critic Samm Deighan and a U.S. opening. You can get this set from MVD.

In 1974, Shaw Brothers collaborated with Hammer on The Legend of the 7 Golden Vampires. That ignited a desire not only to make martial arts films, but also supernatural ones. And man, as the studio goes on, these movies grow more deranged in the very best of ways.

Ho Meng-Hua (The Mighty Peking Man, Oily Maniac) directed this, and it only hints at how far Hong Kong horror would go. Lang Chia Chieh (Lo Lieh) wants to be with Mrs. Zhou (Tanny Tien Ni), but she’s in love with Xu Nuo (Ti Lung), who only wants to be with the love of his life, Wang Chu Ying (Lili Li Li-li). To win her, Lang Chia Chieh goes to the magician Shan Chen Mi (Ku Feng) and has him cast a spell on Mrs. Zhou. It works, if only for a night, and she soon learns that she, too, can turn to the spirit world to win over the lover she wants.

These magic spells are incredibly organic and gross. Like, you need to cut off someone’s finger and leave it under your intended person’s bed until it turns into a pile of maggots. Or to kill someone, you put worms directly under their skin.

There’s a lot of soap opera in this, but every time you think it’s getting slow, someone gets half-naked or makes a possessed rice ball with blood and breast milk, so you can never say it’s bad. It’s just the first course for how completely out there these movies will get.

The Arrow Video release of this film, part of the Shaw Scope Volume 4 set, has a high definition (1080p) Blu-ray presentation, newly restored in 2K from the original negatives by Arrow Films. It has commentary by critic James Mudge. You can get this set from MVD.

Adapted from Louis Cha’s Demi-Gods and Semi-Devils — the same novel that inspired Sakra — this has just 73 minutes to blow your mind and does it so many times.

Duan Zhengchun (Si Wai) has been caught in the bed of Qin Hongmian (Gam Lau), who he has already made pregnant, and uses his family’s martial arts technique — it’s a laser finger! — to cut off her husband’s legs. Twenty years from now, that man (Shut Chung-Tin) swears he will have revenge.

As fate and this movie would have it, twenty years into the future, we meet Duan’s son, Prince Duan Yu (Danny Lee). He hates violence and has promised to never learn martial arts, but he’s soon in the middle of the martial world, a place where the man his father cucked has a mechanical body with chicken legs and lives in a cave with a mutant, clawed fighting machine of a henchman.

Prince Duan Yu, no fighter yet, is protected by the snake-handling Ling-erh, who paints symbols on snakes and uses them in combat. He also meets a masked witch named Xiang Yaocha, who demands that any man who sees her face must marry her. You just know that our hero will see her naked mug and end up betrothed, but did you guess that she’s his half-sister?

How does one learn to fight in under 73 minutes? First, drink the blood of a large red snake, then swallow a poison frog whole. That’s how you get strong enough to rip the arm off a killer gorilla and go one-on-one with the Poisonous Moths Gang. Imagine Big Trouble In Little China, but with even less worry about making sense.

The Arrow Video release of this film, part of the Shaw Scope Volume 4 set, features a high-definition (1080p) Blu-ray presentation, newly restored in 2K from the original negatives by Arrow Films. It has commentary by Jonathan Clements, author of A Brief History of the Martial Arts. You can get this set from MVD.

Inspired by a 1950s series of Malaysian movies*, this film is about Sheng Yun (Danny Lee, The Killer, Thunder of Gigantic Serpent/King of Snakes, Infra-Man), a man who has risen past the handicap that polio dealt him to become a lawyer. He tries to helps a man, Lin Yang Ba (Ku Feng), who has killed a criminal to protect his daughter Yue (Chen Ping) and his coconut oil business. Before he is hung, Lin Yang gives Sheng Yu a black magic spell that transforms him into an oily maniac.

The real problem is that Yue is really in love with Chen Fu Sin (Wa Lun) and wants nothing to do with him. That means he goes on a rampage, wiping out all manner of criminals, like a plastic surgeon, a woman who accuses men of rape and a blackmailer. Look, if someone asks you to look at the magic spell on their back, lie in a hole in your yard and cover yourself with oil, I guess you do it.

Some people think all the Shaw Brothers did was martial arts movies. Oh man. I hope you know that they made movies like The Boxer’s Omen, Human Lanterns and Corpse Mania. Somehow, director Meng-Hua Ho (The Cave of the Silken Web, Black Magic) and writer Lam Chua made a movie that feels like The Heap, Man-Thing and Swamp Thing with a bit of Toxic Avenger except, you know, in 1976.

You would also think that because this is a superhero movie that it would be for children. Well, no. Not with the near-constant nudity and threat of sexual violence in every scene. It’s so strange how the goofy costume of the creature is juxtaposed against the sheer depravity on display in this movie, including scenes where a woman reveals her burned breast and the Oily Maniac attacks an abortionist mid-baby killing.

*According to IMDB, this is based on the Malaysian legend of the orang minyak (oily man), a creature that comes to life out of crude oil and is fueled by the hope for revenge by those who have been done wrong. There are also three Malaysian films — Curse of the Oily Man, Orang Minyak and Serangan Orang Minyak — as well as two modern movies, Orang minyak and Pontianak vs. Orang Minyak, which has the oily man battle a vengeful ghost woman.

The Arrow Video release of this film, part of the Shaw Scope Volume 4 set, has a high definition (1080p) Blu-ray presentation, newly restored in 2K from the original negatives by Arrow Films. It has commentary by Ian Jane. You can get this set from MVD.

Inspired by the huge success of the Japanese superhero versus monster fare such as Ultraman and Kamen Rider in Hong Kong, the Shaw Brothers produced the first Chinese superhero in 1975, which they called Infra-Man. However, they pushed the envelope created by the Japanese even further, inventing a world where a school bus can crash, Hong Kong can be destroyed, an earthquake can happen and monsters appear all within the first minute of the film.

Let me see if I can summarize the blast of pure odd that I just watched at 5 AM: Princess Dragon Mom (known in the original version of this film as Demon Princess Elzebub) is a ten million-year-old mother of monsters who wants to destroy the Earth. She carries around a whip and has a dragon head on her hand, but can also turn into a monster herself. She also has an entire legion of beasts ready to do whatever she asks, like her assistant She-Demon (Witch-Eye in the original), who is an Asian girl with a hand that has an eyeball in the middle of it. Also: both of these ladies wear metallic bikinis with skulls all over them and have several costume changes. They also have an army of cannon fodder dressed in skeletal costumes, which was obviously the influence for the Skeleton Crew in the new episodes of Mystery Science Theater 3000.

They’re battling with Science Headquarters, led by Professor Liu Ying-de. He’s used the BDX Project to transform Lei Ma (Danny Lee, The Killer) into the bionic kung-fu kicking motorcycle riding Infra-Man, who has whatever powers he needs for any situation. He’s also really good at getting tall and stepping on monsters until their green blood pours out. Bruce Lee tribute actor Bruce Le also appears as Lu Xiao-long, another member of the team.

You get all manner of monsters in this one — the Emperor of Doom, the Giant Beetle Monster, an Octopus Mutant, the Driller Beast, a Laser Horn Monster and the Iron Fist Robots. All of them are given to dramatic pronouncements, overacting and blowing up real good.

Believe it or not, Roger Ebert said, “When they stop making movies like Infra-Man, a little light will go out of the world.” Twenty-two years later, he went even further: “I find to my astonishment that I gave Infra-Man only two and a half stars when I reviewed it. That was 22 years ago, but a fellow will remember a lot of things you wouldn’t think he’d remember. I’ll bet a month hasn’t gone by since that I haven’t thought of that film. So, in answer to those correspondents who ask if I have ever changed a rating on a movie: Yes, Infra-Man moves up to three stars.”

He’s right — this movie is completely unhinged, with dragon witch women who threaten to throw little girls down volcanos, blotting out the sun and rocket fists. They should have made five thousand sequels to this.

The Arrow Video release of this film, part of the Shaw Scope Volume 4 set, has a high definition (1080p) Blu-ray presentation, newly restored in 2K from the original negatives by Arrow Films. There’s an option to view the film in its US theatrical version, Infra-man, with lossless “Stereo-Infra-Sound” surround audio. You also get commentary by martial arts cinema experts Frank Djeng and Erik Ko, an interview with Bruce Le, a video essay on Shaws’ tokusatsu films written and narrated by Steven Sloss, theatrical trailers, TV ads and radio commercials. You can get this set from MVD.

The eighth movie in the series and the sequel to Mission: Impossible – Dead Reckoning Part One, this film begins two months later, as the rogue AI known as The Entity has begun hacking its way into nuclear arsenals, aided by a doomsday cult that worships the code. Only Ethan Hunt (Tom Cruise) and his IMF team can stop it. Luther (Ving Rhames) has already been working on a virus to destroy it, which leads The Entity to tell Ethan directly that it plans to kill his best friend.

Joined by former enemies Theo Degas (Greg Tarzan Davis) and Paris (Pom Klementieff), they must go to the wreckage of the sub from the first movie, transmit a Poison Pill into the AI and somehow stop Gabriel (Esai Morales) from aiding the AI in dropping nuclear bombs on the planet.

This brings back just about every character in the series, either in new footage or flashbacks, even revealing that one of the CIA agents is the son of disgraced IMF commander Jim Phelps.

At three hours, the first third drags a bit. But hang with it, as the end is filled with massive stunts and set pieces. I rarely seek out big Hollywood movies, but if you’re going to do that, this is the one to watch. It’s dizzying in its array of situations it puts Ethan into, and there are actual emotional stakes throughout.

Directed by Christopher McQuarrie, who wrote it with Erik Jendresen, this is the sequel to Mission: Impossible – Fallout and the seventh installment in the Mission: Impossible film series. I have no real affinity or knowledge of these, so I went in cold.

A rogue AI known as The Entity has destroyed the Russian stealth submarine where it was housed, the Sevastopol, in the hope that it can be released into the world. IMF agent Ethan Hunt (Tom Cruise) and his team have been called in to retrieve it for the U.S., as any government that uses this AI will be ahead. Or so they think, as it is already self-aware. After all, it can manipulate cyberspace itself to control global defense intelligence and financial networks. 

This brings Ethan into the orbit of rogue MI6 agent Ilsa Faust (Rebecca Ferguson), who has a price on her head thanks to CIA director Eugene Kittridge (Henry Czerny). The battle to destroy the AI takes the team all over the world, as they chase Grace (Hayley Atwell), an agent who has already stolen the part Ethan had, while disarming nuclear bombs in airports. That means that you get Luther Stickell (Ving Rhames) and Beni Dunn (Simon Pegg) as Ethan’s fellow agents, as they also go to war with the CIA, who want to arrest them, and the soldiers who work for The Entity, like Gabriel (Esai Morales) and Paris (Pom Klementieff).

The start of Cruise’s last films in this series is the kind of high-action epic that delivers on all fronts. It feels like this series has taken the ball from Bond and run with it, pushing the stunts beyond the Bourne movies and turning them into roller coasters all their own. Even without knowing the characters and their backstories, the car chase in Italy and the airport scenes are so full of twists and turns that I found this an entertaining watch, liking it way more than I thought I would.