Elizabeth (Sherilyn Fenn) and Joseph (Doug Jones) have kidnapped fifty women, who will all fight to the death, or their loved ones will get shot by a sniper. The elite will watch the action, as they always do. How do these rich people build these underground empires filled with fight clubs?

Anyways, Zoë Bell plays Sabrina, an ex-military brawler, and this movie avoids what you’d expect — the women in prison things like nudity, showers and lesbian power games. Instead, it shocks you with — spoiler — Rachel Nichols getting killed off early and women who somehow learn how to do killing blows with no training at all. And this feels more like a torture porn movie than a fight tournament film.

There are some evil women, like Phoebe (Rebecca Marshall), good ones, such as Teresa (Tracie Thoms) and all in between, all fighting for, well, who knows why. Maybe because the rich and powerful, as I have learned by watching movies like this, love to watch poor people fight for their pleasure.

Speaking of Thoms and Bell, they were in Death Proof, along with Rosario Dawson, who has a small role in this.

Directed by Josh C. Waller and written by Robert Beaucage, this is pretty repetitive, with fight after fight. I can certainly suggest better rich empires having poor people fight for their twisted desires, but hey—it’s well made. You have to give it that.

You can watch this on Tubi.

Directed by Kinji Fukasaku, based on an earlier screenplay by Akira Kurosawa — previously filmed by director Senkichi Taniguchi in 1949 and based on the novel Nishin gyogyo by Keizo Kajino — Jakoman & Tetsu, as Kyubei (Isao Yamagata) and his son-in-law Sotaro (Shiro Osaka), borrow money to buy a herring net and hire migrant workers in the hopes of finally making money. However, a one-eyed sailor named Jakoman (Tetsuro Tamba) arrives to make life horrible for everyone…until Kyubei’s long-dead son Testu (Ken Takakura) comes to stop him.

Toshiro Mifune played the role of Tetsu in the original film. Takakura wanted to go all out, so instead of wearing rubber pants like many fishermen did and who warned him to not go in without them, he got into the water in just a loincloth. The water temperature? Three degrees Fahrenheit. He was so sick that he slept for three days.

Jakoman claims that the father left him marooned and near-death years ago. Is it true? You’ll learn the answer and whether the son can do better than the man who raised him.

Kinji Fukasaku went on to make The Threat, Battles Without Honor or Humanity, Battle Royale, and many more films.

The 88 Films Blu-ray of Jakoman & Testu has an introduction by Mark Schilling, commentary by Tom Mes and Jasper Sharp, a gallery of stills, an essay by Chris D. and original and newly commissioned artwork by Sean Longmore. You can get it from MVD.

Directed by Lau Kar-leung, this movie is an absolutely fantastic time.

Wang Hsieh Yun (who is also Lau Kar-leung) is having trouble bringing in new students to a very traditional martial arts school. The daughter of the school’s owner, Chan Mei Ling (Kara Hui,  My Young Auntie), has returned home from America and plans to change things. Now, she’s the boss of his students — Wong Yuen Shuei (Robert Mak Tak Law), Ng Ming Fat (David Cheung Chin-pang). Li Hon Man (Gordon Liu), Cheuk Jin Shing (Hsiao Ho) and Ah Wing (Wong Yue) — and they trade their gis for streetware. It works — new students are filling the dojo.

Yet as successful as she is, Chan Mei Ling angers the local tough Big Boss (Johnny Wang Lung Wei), who starts kidnapping her female students. That means that Wang Hsieh Yun has to save the day.

This combines the traditions of Shaw Brothers martial arts films with the 1980s — fights happen on BMX bikes and the fashion is loud — and really is entertaining. The closing. The gym fight scene is worth waiting through several movies. From aerobics, kung fu, to using flash photography as a weapon, this movie was a surprise every step of the way.

The 88 Films Blu-ray release of The Lady Is The Boss includes audio commentary by Frank Djeng, a video essay by Fred Ambroisne, a trailer, a still gallery, four collector’s art cards and a slipcase with new artwork by Lucas Peverill. It can be purchased from MVD.

Director Marcel Walz’s Blood Feast remake has a thankless task. Technically, it’s automatically a better-made movie than the original Blood Feast. But it’s not a better movie. Does that make sense?

Fuad Ramses (Robert Rusler), his wife Louise (Caroline Williams) and daughter Penny (Sophie Monk) have moved to Paris and opened the Ramses American Diner. But the restaurant isn’t a success and he has to work nights at an Egyptian museum, so as you figure will happen, he gets obsessed by Ishtar and makes a feast for her. A feast of people!

Rusler is a really nice guy — he tells great stories in person — but it’s hard to accept anyone else as Faud other than Mal Arnold. Rusler gives it his all, but again, this is thankless work.

We expect things to be cheap and slapdash in the world of Blood Feast instead of slick. Or vanilla. This is based on a movie where a man tore out a woman’s tongue and caressed it on camera. You expect more and don’t get it. It’s certainly well-made, but that’s what I want. I want to throw up in my mouth. At least Herschell Gordon Lewis shows up as an Egyptology expert.

The Synapse 4K UHD release of Blood Feast comes with extras including an Indiegogo promotional trailer, a theatrical trailer, a making of, a music video for Chilli Con Curtis’ “Tonite,” footage of the premiere and a scare cam. You can get it from MVD.

Police Academy, Real Genius, Bachelor Party, Surf Ninjas, Moving Violations. These are just some of the films of Neal Israel, who directed Tunnel Vision with Bradley R. Swirnoff and wrote it with Michael Mislove.

As of 1985, Tunnel Vision is the biggest channel in the world, one that is completely free of censorship. The government, led by Senator McMannus (Howard Hesseman) is investigating them, bringing owner Christian A. Broder (Phil Proctor) in front of the Congressional Oversight Committee. They plan on watching an entire day of the channel, which is this movie.

Vincent Canby said of this, “When undergraduate humor fails, as it does in Tunnel Vision, it doesn’t die alone, it threatens to take you with it.”

I felt more for it than he did, but I have a weakness for unconnected comedy sketches turned into a movie. See  The Groove Tube, Kentucky Fried Movie, Amazon Women on the Moon, Mr. Mike’s Mondo Video…

So what’s in it? Or more to the point, who? Ron Silver — in his first movie — as Dr. Manuel Labor. If that joke is funny to you, you are the correct audience for this. As for me, I love seeing Ron Silver show up in things. Ghoulardi himself — and dad of Paul Thomas Anderson and the voice of ABC — Ernie Anderson is in this. So are Gerrit Graham, Betty Thomas, Joe Flaherty, Pat Proft, John Candy, Al Franken, Tom Davis, Laraine Newman, Dick Tufeld (the voice of Robby the Robot), Chevy Chase and tons of others. Sometimes, the sketches are as creative as being as filthy as possible. I mean it, I have no idea how this got an R rating. At others, it’s creative. As these movies often can be, it’s uneven.

There’s a trailer for The Pregnant Man, a game show called Remember When that asks very personal questions,  Young People After School Press Conference in which Henry Kissinger gets abused by children and puppets, a trailer for the just a head cop movie Get Head!, the Archbishop of the New Catholic Church (Dody Dorn) taking off her robes and getting nude — Dorn would go on to edit Memento — and Secret Camera, a hidden camera show made by the CIA.

The MVD release of Tunnel Vision has a brand new 4K HD transfer presented in 1080p in both 1.66:1 and 1.33:1 aspect ratios, commentary by cult film historian Marc Edward Heuck, a new interview with Israel conducted by Stuart Shapiro, a continuity script, a photo gallery, TV commercials and a trailer. Plus, you get a mini-poster and a limited edition slipcover. Get it from MVD.

Blue (Tyler Abron) is a singer who was once in the band Charm with Krystal (Joslyn Y Hall) and Jasmine (Zing Ashford), but has gone solo. However, she’s already having issues as she’s being stalked. Before you can say Whitney and Costner, she’s being protected by Raymond (Jibre Hordges) and starts to fall in love with him. But is he everything that she thinks he is?

Directed by Jaira Thomas (Played and Betrayed) and written by Yvette Wren, this also has a former boyfriend named Tripp (Jaylin Randolph) — the man who once introduced her to the business — insulting Blue and trying to ruin her. Her security sucks, by the way. It’s all her family and friends — sister Brianna (Kajuana S. Marie), stage mom Deborah (Bonita Brisker) and head of security brother Antwan (Kai Malik) — protecting her up until now. They think she’s changed, but maybe they don’t know the pressure that she’s under.

Then again, Blue is singing a new track called “Survivor” in a world where Destiny’s Child already had one with almost the same lyrics. Also: So much lip synching.

Blue is a tough heroine to get to love. She’s rude to almost everyone but can be nice out of nowhere. When Raymond ends up nearly killing a dude in the bar who wants her to sing, she starts to take to him just as her whole family begins to go crazy. Her sister is trying to speak the truth to her, but her mom is full Kris Jenner, filming her all the time. Then someone starts posting her new songs before she can release them, Tripp is posting pictures in bed with Krystal, the momager starts doing backdoor deals, Antwan dies eating a piece of poisoned cake…is this becoming Black Giallo? Yes, it is, with all the red herrings, murders — beyond cake, there’s someone pushed off a building — and how many people could be conspiring against Blue, from the sister who wants her own life to the ex-boyfriend who wants her back and the bodyguard who already lost one client because of how he took over her life.

You could make a double feature of this and Trap and somehow realize this is better.

You can watch this on Tubi.

Abby (Brandi Botkin) and her friends Jade (Erica Dodt) and Brie (Callie Kirk) were just going to a frat party in the woods at the cabin of Abby’s crush Cody (Bob Wilcox) when they ended up getting drugged. She wakes up just in time to escape whatever the men have planned and is picked up by Clare (Jamie Alvey) and Gray (Garrett Murphy), who are more than just a friendly couple. By movie fate, they’re killing machines who hunt rapists.

This starts with a somewhat boring opening and some bad acting, but if you can stay with it, it ends up being pretty interesting. It’s the first movie by director Mary Beth McAndrews and it was written by Alvey.

The frat guys—Cody, Travis (Zach Hurley), Brad (Deaton Gabbard) and Jacob (John Conners)—were going to roofie, assault and play the Most Dangerous Game with these girls. Too bad for them. That’s pretty much the whole movie, and if you like the idea, you’ll probably enjoy this. Just let it play out.

You can watch this on Tubi.

As this was made in my hometown of Ellwood City, just like the first one, Bigfoot the Movie, I feel like I have to watch it and/or apologize for it.

Chuck (Curt Wooton, who is Pittsburgh Dad around here, a social media character that people love), Dale (Nate Magill) and Burl (director Jared Show) are back after their last encounter with Bigfoot and have been called to a ski lodge where another creature is on the loose.

According to one of my hometown newspapers, the Beaver County Times, this has appearances by “Former Patterson Township resident Joanie Sprague (an America’s Next Top Model runner-up) makes a cameo, along with WDVE-FM morning man Bill Crawford, former WDVE star Jim Krenn, Pittsburgh standup comics Aaron Klieber and Terry Jones and former WPXI-TV news anchor Darieth Chisolm.” Those names mean a lot here. Also: I lived next to Big Beaver, which is closer than Beaver Falls.

As for that ski lodge, it’s Bill’s Valhalla- the same parking lot in Children of the Living Dead– just moments away from DJs Island, a private club for adventurous adults and Sims Lanes. As someone who started drinking when he was 12, I can also tell you that there are scenes shot at the Chewton Polish Club.

Also, Jared Show and Nathan McGill went to my school rival, Riverside, and Chuck is wearing a headband from that school. So, I have been indoctrinated since I was a child to hate that part of town with everyone in me and celebrate when it floods at least once a year and people who live there just by the name. They are the Shelbyville to Ellwood City’s Springfield, except Homer doesn’t hate Shelbyville like I was taught to absolutely despise Riverside, often by teachers, town leaders and parents.

You may watch this and think, “I thought Southwestern PA was in the north and not the south of the U.S.” As someone who grew up in Ellwood City and still comes home for the BVM — sorry, Purification of the Blessed Virgin Mary Church, Holy Redeemer Church — pepperoni puffs, I want to love this and more people than five — five people, come on, Letterboxd — to see this. But man, it’s rough unless you find Yinzer accents and Iron City references funny. Bonus points for getting nebby into the dialogue.

But yeah. If you ever wanted to see where I originated, this would be the movie to watch. And if you like Yetis, well, so much the better.

You can watch this on Tubi.