JUNESPLOITATION: Visa to Hell (1991)

June 24: Junesploitation’s topic of the day — as suggested by F This Movie— is Hong Kong Action!

A cop played by Jiu Mou (Lam Wai) wants to catch a criminal, Black Panther, played by this movie’s director, Dick Wei. It gets personal when the killer wipes out the cop’s family. When he finally corners the bad guy, instead of facing up to his punishment, the Triad member jumps to his death. That won’t stop our hero cop, who finds a Taoist priest and goes the whole way to Hell to get his revenge.

In Hell, you can shoot people, which is going to be great when all the people who thought they were following Jesus over the past few years but were in a cult that didn’t follow any of His teachings all die. It’s also awesome news for Jiu Mou, who is fighting ninjas, demons, Dracula and Black Panther, who is working for the Ghost King, a man who runs part of Hell. Also: Hell has a place where you can chill, drink beer and watch women dance.

At least Jiu Mou’s family all get umbrellas and can fly to heaven. Hell looks a lot like Earth, though, and there, everyone has the same problems they had up above. Sounds like Hell, right?

CHATTANOOGA FILM FESTIVAL 2025: Four Evil Deeds (2024)

Directed and written by Richard Peter Hunter, this is , quite simply, a movie about people being bad. Six people give in to their impulses; this can happen no matter your station in life, whether you’re an ex-con trying to get back to a normal life outside of jail or a rich lawyer in a dead marriage.

Shot on digital video, this feels like life being captured, even if the way the screen fades to black instead of a resolution may frustrate some. My issue with it was that the BDSM was used as an indicator of weirdness or sin; yes, it’s someone cheating on their life and at odds with what they preach, but the desires of this lifestyle aren’t inherently wrong. This came off as a vanilla judgement.

It’s exclusively men behaving badly here, from a dry cleaner who misreads signals and touches a co-worker to a minister obsessed with dead mice, a stray cat and pornography. Some of these evil deeds may just be mistakes. Others are sins. I wonder if we’re complicit for judging between them.

You can watch this and many other films at CFF by buying a pass on their website. Over the next few days, I’ll be posting reviews and articles and updating my Letterboxd list of watches.

ARROW 4K UHD RELEASE: Cobra (1986)

Crime is the disease. He’s the cure.

I’ve opined that if we compare the two God-tier action stars—Arnold and Sly—Arnold may have the best overall catalog, but Stallone has the better individual films. One wins the battle, the other wins the war. Or, as he’d say, “Don’t push it, or I’ll give you war you won’t believe.”

Somehow, Stallone was going to be in Beverly Hills Cop and wanted it to be not so funny. Then he wanted to be in an adaptation of Fair Game by Paula Gosling—which got made nine years later, and the less said, the better—and then he ended up making a movie that pretty much is every 80s over-the-top—no pun intended—action movie cliche all in one film.

And you know what? It’s great.

Like, honestly, non-ironically great.

It’s Stallone suddenly deciding what if a slasher movie broke out in the middle of a one cop against the world movie? Zombie Squad cop Marion Cobretti against an entire cult of lunatics called The New World, led by the Night Slasher (Brian Thompson, who had to buy his own ticket to see the film), all to save the life of Ingrid Knudsen (Brigitte Nielsen)? Do you have any idea how many times I watched this movie? Stallone stealing Steve McQueen lines and saying, “This is where the law stops and I start, sucker!” is the kind of thing that made a young me continually watch and rewatch and take notes.

There’s a two-hour-plus X-rated — for violence — cut of this movie that I’m dying to see. Throat cuttings, hands sliced clean off, children discovering said hands, David Rasche getting killed with axes and an extended ending — these are the things I want to see!

Stallone has talked about making a sequel with Robert Rodriguez — as late as 2019 — but it just seems like cutting the robot out of Rocky IV, Sly sometimes likes to play with my heart.

In case you think George P. Cosmatos’ name is familiar, his son — using the royalties from this movie — would go on to make Mandy and Beyond the Black Rainbow. And I’m not the only fan of this movie, as Nicolas Winding Refn used a toothpick in the hero’s mouth in Drive to show his fandom.

So, how is this Cannon? After all, the Cannon logo isn’t anywhere in the movie. Golan and Globus only get a production credit, as it was mostly a Warner Bros. movie, but they got that title in return for voiding a prior agreement the Cannon had with Stallone.

Finally: I am a movie gun nut, so just like another Cannon actor, Charles Bronson, Stallone had his own custom gun made for this movie, a 9mm Colt Gold Cup National Match 1911 that fires Glaser Safety Slugs. This bullet was designed in 1974 in response to the possibility of having to use a handgun on an airplane by the Sky Marshals and having to deal with ricochets on hard surfaces and possible excess penetration. It’s a pre-fragmented bullet that uses a traditional copper jacket, which means that instead of a solid lead core like conventional hollow-point ammunition, it has a compressed core of lead shot.

It does not shoot through schools.

Finally, action movies are mirrors upon themselves. While Cobra reunites Dirty Harry actors Andrew Robinson and Reni Santoni, Sylvester Levay’s song “The Chase” would end up in trailers for Bloodsport and Marked for Death.

The Arrow Video release of Cobra has a brand new 4K restoration of the film from the original 35mm negative by Arrow Films. There are two new commentary tracks, one by film critics Kim Newman and Nick de Semlyen and the other by film scholars Josh Nelson and Martyn Pedler, as well as an archival audio commentary by director George P. Cosmatos. Plus, there’s a TV version of the film featuring deleted and alternate scenes, presented for the first time on home video (standard definition only), a new interview with composer Sylvester Levay, visual essays by film critics Abbey Bender and Martyn Conterio, archival interviews with Brian Thompson, Marco Rodriguez, Andrew Robinson, Lee Garlington and Art LaFleur as well as a making of, trailers, TV commercials and an image gallery. Plus, you get it all inside a reversible sleeve featuring original and newly commissioned artwork by Tommy Pocket, as well as an illustrated collector’s booklet containing new writing on the film by film critics Clem Bastow, William Bibbiani, Priscilla Page and Ariel Schudson and a double-sided fold-out poster.

You can order it from MVD.

Sizzlin’ Summer of Side-Splitters 2025: Catnado (2022)

June 23-29 Cat Week: Cats! They’re earth’s funniest creatures (sorry chimps, you’re psychos).

Why did I watch this? Well, look at the directors and you can pick out the ones I would be obsessed by: Curtis Everitt, Donald Farmer, Alaine Huntington, Blair Kelly, James M. Myers, Melvin Pittman, Tim Ritter, Jerry Williams and Logan Winton.

That’s right, Farmer and Ritter.

I mean, even on the line that describes it on IMDB, it doesn’t even make the effort: It’s like Sharknado, but with cats.

It’s also an anthology as so much microbudget horror seems to be these days. I mean, cats do abuse a priest in it, so there’s that. I imagine there;s a YouTube category for that. I do have a weakness for stuff like this, usually if it has a Ouija board or is in Amityville or has a shark, but I’m trying to do this cat movie challenge and how many Garfield movies can one man watch?

I expected nothing from this and was awarded in abundence.

The cover looks nice, the actual cartoon isn’t all that horrible, and cats are always fun to watch. There, I’ve said a few nice things. At least everyone got paid.

You can watch this on Tubi.

Chattanooga Film Festival 2025 Red Eye #3: Killer Party (1986)

William Fruet made his directorial debut with Wedding in White, based on a play he had written. The film won Best Picture at the Canadian Film Awards in 1973 and starred Carol Kane and Donald Pleasence. He followed that up with an intriguing string of Canuxploitation films, obviously taking full advantage of those wonderful tax shelter laws that produced so many statistic favorites.

There’s proto-slasher Death Weekend (released in the U.S. as The House By the Lake), Cries In the Night (known better here as Funeral Home), redneck rampage film Trapped (AKA Baker County U.S.A.), SpasmsBedroom Eyes and the kinda-sorta Alien by way of animal experimentation oddity Blue Monkey, as well as episodes of Goosebumps, Friday’s Curse (perhaps better known as Friday the 13th: The Series) and Poltergeist: The Legacy.

That brings us to Killer Party, a movie once named April Fool before the similarly named April Fool’s Day went into production.

College students Vivia (Sherry Willis-Burch, who is also in Final Exam), Jennifer (Joanna Johnson, who was on the soap opera The Bold and the Beautiful off and on from 1987 to 2014) and Phoebe (Elaine Wilkes, Sixteen CandlesMy Chauffeur) are sorority pledges at Briggs College who are in the middle of Hell Week.

They’re warned by their housemother, Mrs. Henshaw, to avoid the Pratt House, then travels there herself to the grave of a man named Allan, who she asks to leave the kids alone before she’s murdered.

On the day of the initiation—this is a similar slasher trope; just witness Sorority Girls in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama, One Dark Night and The Initiation, just to name a few—the girls prepare to break in and steal some clothes. We also meet Blake (Martin Hewitt, the doomed obsessive lover of Brooke Shields in Endless Love) and Martin (Ralph Seymour, Surf IIJust Before Dawn), who are interested in Jennifer.

During the hazing, the girls are forced to hold raw eggs in their mouths. Soon, all hell breaks loose, and the lights begin to flicker, and glasses rise off the table. Vivia goes to see where the noises are coming from, which leads to the group finding her getting beheaded by a guillotine. Somehow, this was all a ruse and part of a prank that she decided to play. This part kind of confuses me, as I have no idea how a pledge — or why, to be honest — could set up such an elaborate trick.

That said, that prank becomes the reason why Vivia makes it into the sorority. She’s asked to recreate it at the April Fool’s Day masquerade that they’re throwing at — DUH DUH DUH — the Pratt House. That’s when we learn — via Professor Zito’s (Paul Bartel!) exposition — that Allan died in such a hazing ritual involving a guillotine 22 years ago. That said, Allan may have been way into the occult and conjured an evil force that was behind his death.

Bartel is the best part of this movie. I’ve said that sentence so many times, but it’s incredibly accurate here. Sadly, he doesn’t last much longer, as when he decides to inspect the house, someone in the basement electrifies him. Also, his Zito character is named after Joseph Zito, who directed Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter and The Prowler. That’s because the former of those films was written by this film’s writer, Barney Cohen.

During the prank at the part, Jennifer is possessed by a spirit and stops the trick. As the party falls apart, the killing picks up, with Veronica being killed with a hammer, Pam stabbed with a trident, Martin’s head ends up in the fridge while Albert also loses his noggin and then Blake is drowned in a bathtub. Vivia and Phoebe run from all this carnage right into Jennifer, who discloses that she’s possessed by the ghost of Allan.

They try and escape through a window, but Vivia is thrown to the unforgiving earth, breaking both her legs. Phoebe ends up killing her possessed friend by impaling her with a board, but she’s overtaken by Allan just as the police put both women into an ambulance. The movie closes with Vivia screaming that she can’t be left alone with Phoebe.

The quick burst of murder in this film is because it had to be re-edited following numerous MPAA cuts. That’s why the film seems to have no gore and is edited so that the murders have little room in between. In the original cut, there was more time between each kill, as well as plenty more gore, like Pam getting completely impaled by the trident.

If you’re watching this and wondering, “Have I seen Briggs College before?” you have. It’s the same school as 1998’s Urban Legend.

Killer Party was a latecomer to the slasher era, but it’s a quick-moving burst of fun. It’s not perfect, but how many of these movies are?

You can watch this and many other films at CFF by buying a pass on their website. Over the next few days, I’ll be posting reviews and articles and updating my Letterboxd list of watches.

CHATTANOOGA FILM FESTIVAL 2025: Solvent (2024)

I am obsessed with the films of Johannes Grenzfurthner (Razzennest, Masking Threshold), and I was somewhat concerned, as you know how when your favorite band has a new album, you worry if this is the one where they lose it or worse, sell out? That’s how I felt about this. Luckily, my concerns could be laid to rest. This has all the wildness that I expect from his films and then some. While I’d love to see him selected to direct a remake of RoboCop, I don’t think Hollywood is calling anytime soon after this.

That’s a good thing.

Gunner S. Holbrook (Jon Gries!) is an American researcher who is going through a farmhouse in search of Nazi documents. But that’s the least of the strangeness that he uncovers, as Ernst Bartholdi (Grenzfurthner), the man who owns the property, takes him through the moldering home of his grandfather, Wolfgang Zinggl (archival footage by Otto Zucker, Grenzfurthner’s real grandfather), a man who disappeared and left no trace.

The team finds a metal pipe and decides to explore it until leader and Polish academic historian Krystyna Szczepanska (Aleksandra Cwen) has a mental breakdown from being near whatever is inside it, accidentally killing another member, Cornelia Dunzinger (Jasmin Hagendorfer). Everything is shut down, but Holbrook is now beyond intrigued; what he finds won’t just drive him insane; it will transform his body into some kind of rot. We learn that he and Krystyna were lovers, that he went AWOL when he got PTSD from serving in Kuwait and that he’s been a mercenary in Bosnia. Now, he will experience something perhaps no other human has or should.

I had the sheer joy of a long series of conversations with the creator of this art (parts 1, 2, 3, 4 and 5 are posted here), during which he discussed the origins of this film in depth.

“The idea for Solvent came from this moment when I stepped into my grandfather’s old farmhouse after not having been there for ten years. There had been a rift in our family—my mother and her sister didn’t speak for a decade, partly due to inheritance disputes and family drama. When my aunt passed away, her daughter came back to Austria for the first time in twenty years, and we went to see what she inherited. It felt a lot like the story of Solvent.

When I stepped into that house, I could feel the mold attacking my lungs—it was horrendous. The smell was unbearable, and everything was decaying. But I spent some of my best childhood days there, so walking into that house again and seeing what my aunt had or hadn’t done with it hit me hard. I saw it through this nostalgic lens—how it used to look in my childhood, compared to how it was now, in ruins. Something in my brain shifted, and I thought, I need to do something with this. It felt like the perfect setting for a horror story.

I’ve always been fascinated by Austrian history, and the movie was born out of a need to confront Austria’s historical baggage—not in a traditional or sanitized way. The farmhouse, tied to my family’s history, became a metaphor for exploring guilt, complicity, and how the past still seeps into the present. Austria has this unique way of dealing with its Nazi past. When I was in school in the 1980s, we didn’t learn a lot about the Nazi era. The German school curriculum, by contrast, was much more proactive about it. But in Austria, it was as if the country didn’t exist between 1938 and 1945. Austrians were very eager to forget, despite the fact that most of the concentration camps were run by Austrians.

Austria was never good at confronting the past, and I saw this gap in my conversations with friends, their parents, and grandparents. It was as if Austria had this hole in its soul, this thing that no one wanted to talk about. The more time passes, the more people forget. And that’s the core of the film—there’s something in the ground in Austria that never goes away, something that still affects us. It doesn’t matter if you talk about it or not—it will catch up with you. It’s very Freudian, embedded into everything, this festering wound that never heals.”

I usually do my best to avoid found-footage films, as the shaky camera and rules of the form feel nauseating and constrictive. That said, Grenzfurthner’s films are so technically proficient and just plain unsettling, moving and wonderous that I get over myself very quickly. This is yet another triumph for him, a film that begs to be experienced.

You can watch this and many other films at CFF by buying a pass on their website. Over the next few days, I’ll be posting reviews and articles and updating my Letterboxd list of watches.

JUNESPLOITATION: Knights of the City (1986)

June 23: Junesploitation’s topic of the day — as suggested by F This Movie— is New World Pictures!

Leon Isaac Kennedy is a hero in these parts, and wow, I only thought he made magic like in the movies Body and Soul and the Penitentiary. He wrote this movie, which was produced by Miami Gold, the company owned by Michael Franzese Sr., allegedly a caporegime in the New York City Colombo crime family and son of former underboss Sonny Franzese. The “Yuppie Don” was making $8 million a week when he was sent to jail and has since become a born-again motivational speaker. But for some time, he was partnering with Russian organized crime in a tax scam that allowed the combined criminal group to supply “between one-third and one-half of all gasoline sold in the New York metropolitan area,” and kept 75% of the profit.

Kennedy plays Troy, the leader of The Royals, a street gang who is branching out into being a band, even if Joey (Nicholas Campbell, who was in The Brood and played The Hitchhiker on HBO decades before he got weird and old and dropped racist words on the crew while working on the CBC series Coroner) disagrees. Plus, they have The Mechanics gang taking over their territory and corrupt police officer McGruder (Floyd Levine) ruining everything they try to accomplish. As you can figure, McGruder has sold out to the other gang and jails our protagonists, only for them to meet Twilight Records owner Mr. Delamo (Michael Ansara) behind bars. He believes in them, but his daughter, Brooke (Janine Turner), runs the company. But she soon falls for Troy, which you can imagine thrills her pop.

Can they thrill talent show judges Jeff Kutash and Smokey Robinson? Will they meet Kurtis Blow and the Fat Boys in prison? Will you hear Shannon’s “Let the Music Play” more than once? And what if Breakin’ and The Warriors made a baby? What if that baby was kind of stupid, but you loved it anyway? And why can’t a 37-year-old, Too Sweet, play the leader of a teenage gang? And you know how they made the reverse color Michael Jackson Thriller jacket, and you always wondered, “Who would wear the black and red Michael Jackson jacket that Hills has tons of when the red and black is sold out?” Leon Isaac Kennedy, that’s who.

This has bad guys who live in a tugboat. A dance training sequence. Denny Terrio of Dance Fever. All directed by the man who made music videos for Barlin’s “The Metro,” “Up the Creek” by Cheap Trick, “If You Don’t Want Me” by 1985 Norman Nardini & The Tigers (Pittsburgh represent) and several Celine Dion efforts, Dominic Orlando. This looks like a Filmirage movie — yes, I watched it in Italian, which helped — and has some great-looking scenes in it, because Rolf Kestermann was the DP. He also shot DisorderliesSurf Nazis Must Die and the videos for Chris Issak’s “Wicked Game” and The Coupe de Villes’ “Big Trouble in Little China.” He also directed Night Ranger’s “Sister Christian” video!

Anyways — this is the gift that keeps giving. The balls on this movie! Sammy Davis Jr. was in a scene, and they cut it. Who does that?

ANCHOR BAY BLU RAY RELEASE: Sour Party (2023)

Gwen (Samantha Westervelt) and James (Amanda Drexton, who co-directed this with Michael A. Drexton and co-wrote this with him and Westervelt) are going nowhere and doing nothing. They still have to get to a baby shower for Gwen’s sister, where the only gift left on the registry is Baby’s First Wellness Kit, complete with essential oils and tarot cards.

Except it’s $150.

And they have nowhere near that kind of money.

The journey to get the money will take them through Los Angeles and into the heart of glittery darkness. Gwen wants to show her family that she can be a success — or at least not a major foul-up — and arrive with the gift. But when there are cult leaders (Corey Feldman),  a thrift store called Twin Sneaks, Reggie Watts, the liberation of succulents, a cockroach gathering and a shrine to Nicholas Cage. And oh yeah, neon smoke farts that will revolutionize the online sex industry.

Gwen and James feel like the kind of people who have been friends forever. They might be holy terrors when you see them in a bar or they show up at your party, but when everyone is telling stories about them, they realize that they kind of love them afterward, even if being in their orbit can be a hurricane.

I’m a sucker for comedies where friends are oblivious to the world and defeat it just by being themselves.

The Anchor Bay release of Sour Party has a commentary track with writer/director/star Amanda Drexton, writer/director Michael Drexton, star Samantha Westervelt and cinematographer Steven Moreno. There’s also a video yearbook.

You can order this from MVD.

CHATTANOOGA FILM FESTIVAL 2025: Pater Noster and the Mission of Light (2024)

This movie is so perfect for me. Just imagine, a more well-thought-out Midsommar that has actually seen The Wicker Man — and on drugs, mind you — but also knows about collecting records, the joy of finding lost media and understands the allure of strangeness like the Arica, Source Family/Father Yod/Ya Ho Wa 13 and the Process Church and how today’s youth only gets the cool veneer of these lost groups — well, The Process is now kinda sorta Best Friends Animal Shelter — and not the at-times harsh reality. It’s easy to love black metal for its aura of kvlt, yet I doubt you’d participate in the burning of a stave church.

Made for the price of a used car, this movie finds Pater Noster and his band/church lying low after recording several albums in the distant past, one found by Max (Adara Starr), a record store employee that probably only is there to get the discount and build up her own collection of albums. Store owner Sam (Shaley Renew), co-worker Abby (Sanethia Dresch), Gretchen (Shelby Lois Guinn), and Jay Sin (Josh Outzen) get obsessed with the songs. When an invitation to visit the actual Pater Noster compound comes to Max, they all decide to go. Armed with info from cult podcaster Dennis Waverly (Tim Cappello, not playing a sax), they think this is going to be a laugh.

Maybe they haven’t watched the films of Herschell Gordon Lewis or I Drink Your Blood.

Meeting Pater Noster (Mike Amason) may be the last thing they do.

Even crazier is how perfect the music is for this film, featuring The Restoration, Brandy & the Butcher, Turbo Gatto, EZ Shakes, Stagbriar, Ass/Bastard, In/Humanity, Transonics, Hot Lava Monster, Marshall Brown and Larb as well as Tim Cappello playing that sax.

Here’s how the movie was sold on Indiegogo: “The movies we make are punk rock demo tapes. We operate outside of Hollywood and traditional distribution routes. We make movies for people looking for something different, not defined by focus groups and corporate interests. You won’t find this movie in a Walmart because it doesn’t belong in a Walmart.”

That couldn’t be more true. This feels truer to the insane spirit of drive-in movies that you wonder, “Who is this for, other than me?” than any movie I’ve seen in years. Yet it feels real, lived in, authentic. This is, quite literally, the actual shit. A movie where you feel for the victims just as much as for the victimizers, a place where you think that you too could be trapped, because as much as I love the cults of the 70s, I know I would never survive.

A near-perfect film. Find it and live in it now.

You can watch this and many other films at CFF by buying a pass on their website. Over the next few days, I’ll be posting reviews and articles and updating my Letterboxd list of watches.

MILL CREEK BLU RAY RELEASE: Rad (1986)

If there was one movie that was hard to rent at my neighborhood mom and pop video store, this would be it.*

Leonard Maltin gave this movie his dreaded BOMB review, comparing it to 1950s car races and 1970s roller disco movies. Yeah, Leonard. Wondering why everyone liked it so much?

Shot in Alberta, Canada — look for a young Robin Bougie from Cinema Sewer — this movie may have failed in theaters. But like I said above, it was a top rental film for what seems like forever.

Cru Jones has two choices: take the SAT to attend college or race Helltrack, which could mean $100,000, a new Chevrolet Corvette and fame. His mom, Talia Shire, whines so much that you wish Stanley Kubrick would arrive to cause PTSD to take her out of this film, but no, she just cries that he’s throwing away his future. As a 53-year-old, I can tell you she’s right, but have you seen Helltrack?

The thing I never understood about this movie was how Mongoose could have allowed themselves to be portrayed in such a negative light. They were such a big BMX company, and in nearly every scene, their owner, Duke Best, is out to get Cru and to push his own rider, Bart Taylor.

Before she went to jail for that college scam, Lori Loughlin played the tough tom with whom the hero fell in with. Here, she’s Christian Hollings and she BMX bike dances with Cru, setting hearts aflutter. For more Laughlin roles like this, see Secret Admirer and Back to the Beach.

The evil Reynolds twins, who try to destroy Cru on Helltrack, grew up to be Chad and Carey Hayes, the writers of the remake of House of Wax and The Conjuring movies.

Man, this movie still leaves me with so many questions. How could the town raise $50,000 so quick for Cru? How does he have the money to sign up Bart when he gets kicked off the Mongoose team? Why did my grandparents buy me a Schwinn that weighed as much as a Harley when all I wanted was a BMX bike?

Also, look for pro wrestler Hard Boiled Haggerty, who yells to our hero, “Go balls out!” before the Helltrack** race. That was the film’s original title.

This was directed by Hal Needham, who also made many stunt-heavy movies, such as the Smokey and the Bandit films, Stroker AceBody SlamHooperDeath Car on the Freeway and, of course, Megaforce.

*Other movies that fit this bill are Thashin’The Dirt Bike Kid and The Toxic Avenger.

**None of the stunt racers could complete a lap of Helltrack, with major worries about the giant hill that starts the race. The entire scene took two weeks to film.

The Mill Creek Blu-ray release of Rad includes the feature-length A Rad Documentary, a featurette on Hal Needham in the 1980s, archival interviews with the cast and crew, the “Break the Ice” music video and more.

You can buy this from Deep Discount.