Tales from the Crypt S3 E10: Mournin’ Mess (1991)

Directed and written by Manny Coto, who still writes for American Horror Stories and directed Star KidDr. Giggles and Zenon: The Zequel, “Mournin’ Mess” is about Dale Sweeney (Steven Weber), one of those drunken and scummy reporters that movies always have. He works for The Evening Globe who has assigned him to cover the Grateful Homeless, Outcasts, and Unwanteds Layaway Society and the new cemetery they are opening. He has the hots for their spokeswoman Jess Gilchrist (Rita Wilson) and buys int their goal of giving dead people a proper burial.

“Ah, there you are! You’re just in time! I’m trying out a few recipes from my new Betty Croaker cookbook. I hope you like shish-ka-bob. Damn! It isn’t ready yet! Bob’s still moving! Tonight’s foul feast will begin with mashed potatoes, then move onto some shrieking duck, and finish with a nice kill-basa. I call this tasty tidbit: “Mournin’ Mess.””

The issue is that Dale is a mess. He loses his job and soon meets an unhoused man named Roebuck (Vincent Schiavelli) who tells him that all of the city’s poor are being targeted by a serial killer. As it is, Roebuck is the prime suspect, but he claims that if Dale goes to the new cemetery at night, he will discover the truth, which will allow him to get his job back. Dale of course screws all this up and gets Roebuck killed and buried in that same cemetery, as he was too busy sleeping with Jess to meet him. He also loses his house and has to beg his old boss Elaine Tillman (Ally Walker) for his job.

That’s when he realizes that the Grateful Homeless, Outcasts, and Unwanteds Layaway Society spells ghouls and they eat his ear as he escapes. He finds Jess and tries to save her, only for her to eat his face.

Oh Dale. If you just stayed in the cemetery and met him Roebuck, you could have had the story that let you expose everything and be a success all over again, Roebuck would clear his name and you’d both be alive. Hope that sex was worth it.

The original story was in Tales from the Crypt #38 and was also called “Mournin’ Mess.” Written by Al Feldstein and William Gaines and drawn by Graham Ingels.

SUPPORTER WEEK: Mongo’s Back in Town (1971)

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Lieutenant Pete Tolstad, the character played by Telly Savalas in this made for TV movie, feels like the early version of Kojak before that show would air in 1973. Tolstad grew up in the same neighborhood that is now his beat. He’s never had a real Christmas. He just does his job.

Directed by Marvin J. Chomsky (TankEvel KnievelRoots) and written by Herman Miller and based on the book by E. Richard Johnson. Johnson was a convicted armed robber and murderer who wrote all eleven of his books from his cell at Stillwater State Prison in Minnesota. He started writing to pass the time in prison and his novel Silver Street won the Mystery Writers of America’s Edgar Allan Poe Award for 1968 and the follow-up, which this movie is based on, was considered an even better book. Despite his success, he got into drugs while in prison. He escaped and went back into crime before being recaptured and stayed in jail until 1991.

Everyone is interested in the reasons why Mongo Nash (Joe Don Baker) is back in town and why he’s spending time with a young girl named Vikki (Sally Field) who has just come to town from West Virginia. Is he in town to do a hit for his brother Mike (Charles Cioffi)? Or does he just want left alone?

This has a great cast. Martin Sheen plays Tolstad’s partner Mike and Anne Francis is a gangster’s moll who Savalas has a flirty scene with. Baker is great and somehow makes a killer into someone that you feel some level of empathy for and the way he treats Vikki. Ah yes. He is a killer. On the way to the brutal ending, we have people get acid thrown in their faces and everyone is fair game for murder including kids.

Originally airing on CBS on December 10, 1971, this is also known as Steel Wreath, which is a strange title and probably one that makes more sense once Johnson and his books were forgotten. Perhaps they didn’t want people to think this was a Blazing Saddles sequel, which there was one that is forgotten and was a TV series.

You can watch this on YouTube.

SUPPORTER WEEK: Telethon (1977)

EDITOR’S NOTE: Today’s movie is brought to you by Jason, who made a one-time donation and told me to pick any 70’s TV I wanted. So how about an entire week?

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Telethons were a big deal in the 1970s. So much so that more than one movie got made about them — besides this, there’s Americathon from 1979 — and the Easter Seals and Jerry Lewis MDA telethons were marathon events that we all watched because, well, we didn’t have that many channels.

A Las Vegas hospital is running out of money and the chance to have their annual telethon unless they raise $8 million this year. Filmed in and around the Dunes Hotel — which closed January 26, 1993 after a time where it became a shadow of itself and also had a series of arsons — this is like a disaster movie, in that it has a huge cast whose stories are all interconnected, mostly with Marty Rand (Red Buttons), the entertainer who has hosted the event every year being considered too old. His illegitimate daughter is also coming to Vegas to tell him that she’s his daughter,  Matt Tallman (Lloyd Bridges) saves Elaine Cotton (Janet Leigh) in the midst of a brawl — Vegas seems beyond Sin City here and not the family destination that it became — and you get people like Jimmie Walker, Sugar Ray Robinson and David Burton all playing themselves.

Plus you get Jill St. John, David Selby, Randi Oakes, Polly Bergen, Dick Clark, Eve Plumb in an adult role, Kent McCord, Edd Byrnes and John Marley all in the cast. Yes, the mob is involved and when isn’t it in Vegas?

Director David Lowell Rich is one of the kings of the TV movie, as well as the disaster film. After all, he made SST: Death Flight, The Horror at 37,000 FeetThe Runaway TrainAdventures Of the Queen and the theatrical disaster that was The Concorde … Airport ’79. He also directed Satan’s School for GirlsThat Man Bolt, Scandal Sheet and episodes of Naked CityRoute 66The Twilight ZoneMannix and Cannon.

It was written by Roger Wilton, who is a one and done writer.

Originally airing on November 6, 1977 on ABC, Telethon is a caught in amber view of what Vegas was like in 1977, a dangerous and violent place where you could win big money or lose it all just as easily.

You can watch this on YouTube, complete with commercials from Las Vegas, which makes the experience so much better.

SUPPORTER WEEK: The Strange Monster of Strawberry Cove (1973)

EDITOR’S NOTE: Today’s movie is brought to you by Jason, who made a one-time donation and told me to pick any 70’s TV I wanted. So how about an entire week?

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Originally broadcast on NBC as a two-part episode on The Wonderful World of Disney on October 31, and November 7, 1971, The Strange Monster of Strawberry Cove is a very live action Disney film in that kids are making a monster, an adult thinks that it’s real and a sheriff doesn’t want to believe them.

Every year, schoolteacher Henry Meade (Burgess Meredith, not yet Mickey or Satan himself) takes his students out on the lake to be part of nature, but this year, he sees what he thinks is a monster, which scares the kids and gives Mrs. Pringle (Agnes Moorehead) the chance to finally get him fired.

To try and save their favorite teacher’s job, Tippy (Annie McEveety) Scott (Jimmy Bracken) and Catfish (Patrick Creamer) make their own sea monster and plan on sending it out on the lake so everyone believes Meade. Except they run into smugglers — yes, this is a lot like Mystery of Dracula’s Castle — and that brings in the sheriff (Bill Zuckert).

This being a 70s kid movie, of course Kim Richards is in it.

Based on The Mad Scientist’s Club by Bertrand R. Brinley, The Strange Monster of Strawberry Cove was directed by Jack Shea, who also directed 110 episodes of The Jeffersons, and written by Herman Groves.

You can watch this on YouTube.

SUPPORTER WEEK: Search for the Gods (1975)

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  4. For $5 a month, you basically get some major power. As a Big B&S’er, I’ll write an entire week on any subject you’d like. How awesome would that be? In fact, I’ll do it for every month you’re a member. Do you think any of your other movie sites will do that for you?

In 1975, ancient aliens were all people could think about other than the bicentennial. Or so it seemed. Directed by Jud Taylor and written by Herman Miller and Ken Pettus, Search for the Gods was a pilot for a series that was never picked up.

Willie Longfellow (Stephen McHattie), Genera Juantez (Victoria Racimo) and Shan Mullins (Kurt Russell) are looking for parts of a gold tablet that explains how these Erich Von Daniken alien gods came to Earth and inspired our technology. Longfellow meets Lucio (John War Eagle, a Native American who was actually born in England) and gets the first piece from him before he dies, which brings him to Genera, the magic man’s granddaughter.

They bring the medallion to Dr. Henderson (Ralph Bellamy) who helps them learn what they have to find next while looking out for the rich men who want it all for themselves. Obviously, this is set to not have an ending as they wanted this to be a series, so the 100 minutes of this show just lead to more that will never come.

Originally airing on March 9, 1975 on ABC, this movie has Russell’s character mention how much he wants beer many times. There aren’t any effects or aliens, but who knows what the show would have had?

And man, why wasn’t Victoria Racimo more of a star?

You can watch this on YouTube.

SUPPORTER WEEK: Mystery in Dracula’s Castle (1973)

EDITOR’S NOTE: Today’s movie is brought to you by Jason, who made a one-time donation and told me to pick any 70’s TV I wanted. So how about an entire week?

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  3. As a Medium B&S’er at just $3 a month, if you pick a movie or a director, I’ll write about them for you. In fact, I’ll do one for each month you subscribe and even dedicate the post to you.
  4. For $5 a month, you basically get some major power. As a Big B&S’er, I’ll write an entire week on any subject you’d like. How awesome would that be? In fact, I’ll do it for every month you’re a member. Do you think any of your other movie sites will do that for you?

Originally airing on January 7 and 14, 1973 on The Wonderful World of Disney, this live action movie was directed by Robert Totten, who mostly worked in TV, and written by Sue Milburn, who mostly wrote episodic television and made for TV movies.

Marsha Booth (Mariette Hartley) is a single mom who has a deadline to write her new book, which causes her to take a vacation to the beach, bringing along her sons Alfie (Johnny Whitaker) and Leonard (Scott C. Kolden). They occupy themselves by taking over an abandoned lighthouse and making a movie, “Dracula’s Castle” with the sheriff’s daughter Jean (Maggie Wellman) and a dog named Watson.

What they don’t know is that there’s a bunch of jewel thieves — Keith (Clu Gulager) and Noah (Mills Watson) — who have found the Daumier diamond necklace in the lighthouse. There’s a conspiracy in town and the sheriff (James T. Callahan) — who is Jean’s dad — doesn’t want to hear these kids and their stories. But maybe, just maybe, he will come around.

If Watson the dog looks familiar, he was played by Higgins, who was also Uncle Joe Carson’s dog on Petticoat Junction. A mix of Miniature Poodle, Cocker Spaniel and Schnauzer, Higgins was found by animal trainer Frank Inn found the dog at the Burbank Animal Shelter as a puppy. His most famous role was played when he was already retired, coming back to star in Benji, becoming the first dog actor to have the role.

If you’re expecting vampires, this is not the movie for you.

You can watch this on YouTube.

SUPPORTER WEEK: The Strange Possession of Mrs. Oliver (1977)

EDITOR’S NOTE: Today’s movie is brought to you by Jason, who made a one-time donation and told me to pick any 70’s TV I wanted. So how about an entire week?

Would you like to have me write about the movies of your choice? It’s simple!

  1. Go to our Ko-Fi site and donate. There’s no set amount and I won’t tell you what to do. In fact, if you just keep reading for free, we can still be friends.
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  3. As a Medium B&S’er at just $3 a month, if you pick a movie or a director, I’ll write about them for you. In fact, I’ll do one for each month you subscribe and even dedicate the post to you.
  4. For $5 a month, you basically get some major power. As a Big B&S’er, I’ll write an entire week on any subject you’d like. How awesome would that be? In fact, I’ll do it for every month you’re a member. Do you think any of your other movie sites will do that for you?

Look, I’m a very simple man and if you give me a movie where Karen Black decides to start exploring her wild side by wearing wigs and shopping for clothes, who am I to say no? I dare say that watching Karen Black freak out in a shopping mall is my very definition of a genre of movie that I want there to be more of.

Originally airing on NBC on February 28, 1977, this was directed by Gordon Hessler (Scream, Pretty Peggy) and written by Richard Matheson (more than I can say) and again, you’re in the best of hands. Black plays Miriam Oliver, stuck in a controlling marriage with Greg (George Hamilton) until she goes shopping, finds a blonde wig and red top from Gloria LeRoy (Mildred “Boom Boom” Turner on All In the Family) and decides that she will become Sandy. Except that Sandy was a real person that other people knew and start thinking that Miriam is her back from going away. Or, as we learn, died five years ago.

Also: She dreams of her own death constantly.

Greg can’t understand why she doesn’t want him controlling her and having his babies and why she’d ever want a little house at Crystal Beach. Yet something supernatural is compelling Miriam to be Sandy and we’re along for the ride. She doesn’t need her glasses any more and it seems like she doesn’t need Greg to hold her down, not when a low cut top can make men lose their minds over her instead of responding to her crying and saying, “I had a dream that I died” with “That’s a nice dream. honey.”

Except that by the end, we learn that Miriam and Sandy were friends that could be confused with one another and there’s no possession, like the end of a Scooby-Doo episode when I get let down again that there’s no magic. And then Miriam goes back to her jerk of a husband and becomes repressed again and I have no idea what we’re to learn from that.

Speaking of Scooby-Doo, Hessler would make Kiss Meets the Phantom of the Park the next year.

You can watch this on YouTube.

SUPPORTER WEEK: Brotherhood of the Bell (1970)

EDITOR’S NOTE: Today’s movie is brought to you by Jason, who made a one-time donation and told me to pick any 70’s TV I wanted. So how about an entire week?

Would you like to have me write about the movies of your choice? It’s simple!

  1. Go to our Ko-Fi site and donate. There’s no set amount and I won’t tell you what to do. In fact, if you just keep reading for free, we can still be friends.
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  3. As a Medium B&S’er at just $3 a month, if you pick a movie or a director, I’ll write about them for you. In fact, I’ll do one for each month you subscribe and even dedicate the post to you.
  4. For $5 a month, you basically get some major power. As a Big B&S’er, I’ll write an entire week on any subject you’d like. How awesome would that be? In fact, I’ll do it for every month you’re a member. Do you think any of your other movie sites will do that for you?

Director Paul Wendkos (The Mephisto Waltz) was nominated by the Directors Guild of America for “outstanding directorial achievement in television” because of this film. It was written by David Karp, who also wrote the original novel. It had been made once before as an episode of Studio One in 1958.

A world premiere CBS Thursday Night Movie on September 17, 1970, this arrived just as the seventies began, a decade packed with conspiracy. Professor Andrew Patterson (Glenn Ford) is back at the College of St. George in San Francisco to watch a young man be initiated into the secret society that he joined there, the Brotherhood of the Bell.

After the ritual, one of the leaders — Chad Harmon (Dean Jagger) — gives Patterson an assignment. Stop Dr. Konstantin Horvathy (Eduard Franz) from accepting a deanship at a college of linguistics so that a brother can take that position. Harmon is to blackmail Horvathy with the names of the people who helped him defect. Patterson wonders if this is legal. He’s told that he should be happy this is all they’re asking of him.

The professor does what he is supposed to do and it caused Horvathy to kill himself. Patterson then does exactly what no brother should do and reveals the truth to his wife Vivian (Rosemary Forsyth) and his father-in-law Harry Masters (Maurice Evans). This causes the Federal Security Services (as conspiracy-filled as this movie is, it doesn’t named the FBI; the agent is played by Dabney Coleman) to get involves and his father-in-law to turn him into the Brotherhood and Patterson’s father Mike (Will Geer) gets ruined in the process, then has a stroke and dies. Patterson also loses his job, gets humiliated on a talk show by Bart Harris (William Conrad) and is at rock bottom when his former boss Dr. Jerry Fielder (William Smithers) and the man he saw initiated Philip Dunning (Robert Pine) both stand up for him.

Obviously, the makers of The Skulls watched this movie.

You can watch this on YouTube.

Tales from the Crypt S3 E9: Undertaking Palor (1991)

Directed by Michael Thou (who edited the Donner cut of Superman II, another EC adaption Two-Fisted Tales and Small Soldiers) and written by Ron Finley, this episode finds four boys — Aaron (Aron Eisenberg), Norm (Scott Fults), Jess (Jason Marsden) and Josh (Ke Huy Quan) — discover that the town’s pharmacist Nate Grundy (Graham Jarvis) and undertaker Sebastian Esbrook (John Glover) are murdering people and making money off their funerals.

“Quiet on the set! Deathly quiet. Fond felicitations, fiends and welcome to the Crypt. Tonight’s sordid saga is about a couple of kids with time to kill. See, they’re just dying to get into the horror movie business. And if they’re lucky, that’s exactly what’ll happen to ’em. Lights! Camera! Action!”

This episode is filled with Richard Donner moments, like the boys leaving a theater showing Radio Flyer and a poster for Lethal Weapon being up. It’s also quite like another of his films, The Goonies. There’s also an element of found footage in this as the kids try to capture the crimes on a video camera after Josh’s father is one of the victims of the scheme.

It’s based on the story “Undertaking Palor” from Tales From the Crypt #39. It was written by Al Feldstein and William Gaines and drawn by Jack Davis.

You can also watch this narrated version of the original comic book.

Tales from the Crypt S3 E8: Easel Kill Ya (1991)

This episode is directed by John Harrison, who directed eight episodes of Tales from the Dark Side, the movie of that film, the Dune miniseries on SyFy and oh yeah, wrote the theme for Creepshow. You can learn more about him in this interview we did last year. It was written by Larry Wilson, who wrote five episodes of this show as well as Beetlejuice and The Little Vampire.

“Greetings, art lovers. Vincent van Ghoul here with another morbid masterpiece sure to paint you into a coroner. (cackles) Hmmmmm. Something’s not quite right. Ah, yes. (stabs the beating heart next to his fruit bowl) Now that’s a still life. (cackles) Tonight’s tale concerns a painter who’s tired of people giving his work the brush. I call this pestilent portrait of the artist as a young mangler: “Easel Kill Ya.””

Jack Craig (Tim Roth), whose name is a combination of EC Comics artists Jack Davis and Johnny Craig, is a starving artist who drinks and has rage issues that he hopes to solve with a support group, Obsessives Anonymous. That’s where he meets Sharon (Roya Megnot) and hopes that she too can save him. Of course, he still gets angry all the time and ends up killing a neighbor, but uses the photo of the crime scene to finally sell his artwork. Malcolm Mayflower (William Atherton) loves gore and he wants more of Craig’s art.

Sharon needs an operation, so he keeps killing and selling art. Sadly, the first person he kills is the man who was rushing through a parking lot to get to the hospital to operate on her. Oh EC, your endings.

This story is based on “Easel Kill Ya” from Vault of Horror #31.It was written by Al Feldstein and William Gaines and drawn by Johnny Craig. In the original story, an artist makes money from painting violence but when he’s married, he starts to paint beautiful things. When she becomes sick, he brings a painting to his patron and he won’t buy it. He kills the man, who ends up being the doctor who could save his wife.