Gary (Miguel Ferrer) is a disc jockey who gets sent to graveyard shift for bad ratings by the owner of the station, his sister Rita (Wendie Malick). His show Gary’s Drive-Time Desires also chases away advertisers, so she gives him one last chance. Well, more like she wants to keep him under contract and not going anywhere else. He rebounds when he gets a new partner, Valerie Cordoza (Linda Doucett), and renames his show Grover’s Graveyard. Soon, people are staying up late and Gary is having sex on the air.

“Oh hello, kiddies. You’re just in time for your driving lesson. Today we’ll be learning about scare-allel parking and the right way to look behind when hacking up. But first, I thought we’d go over a few common hand signals. This of course, means you’re turning right. And this means you’re turning left. And this means…Oh. Slow down, it’s time to watch Tales From the Crypt. Tonight’s moving violation concerns a disk jockey who’s so cutting edge, he may lose his chap. I call it “In the Groove.””

This being Tales from the Crypt, we know there’s a twist. When Rita keeps messing with the show, she pushes Gary to want to murder her. But what if his latest partner wasn’t on his side?

Directed by Vincent Spano (who mainly is an actor) and written by Jack Temchin and Colman deKay, this is Ferrer’s third appearance on this series (he’s also in “The Thing from the Grave” and “As Ye Sow“) and has a small part for Slash.

“In the Groove” is based on “In the Groove” from Crime SuspenStories #21, which was written by William Gaines and Al Feldstein with art by Johnny Craig. That story is, as nearly always, different. A DJ plans to kill his wife and use his show as his alibi by setting up enough songs that it will appear he is playing records at the time of his wife’s murder. Then, the needle skips and the song keeps repeating, proving that he isn’t there.

Directed by Stephen Hopkins (Predator 2, Judgement Night) and written by magician Teller and Colman deKay, this stars D.B. Sweeney as Clyde, a killer on the run from the police. He evades them and ends up in the home of the elderly Lillian (Rachel Ticotin, Total Recall), who he soon insults after she saves him from a sheriff (R. Lee Ermey).

“Hey, cats. I call this one “Painted into a Coroner Blues.” When I think of you, my heart goes flopsy. As I contemplate your sweet autopsy. Your skin is green and blue, whatever would I do; without my fine cadaver. The love in which I know I’ll fall starts with the unkindest cut of all. Thank you, thank you. They don’t call me the creative writing corpse for nothing. Thank you. My next poem is a little ex-terror-imental number I’ve been working on. I hope you like it. It’s about a real ghoul dude named Clyde, who’s about to try a little die-ku of his own in a vile verse I call: “Staired in Horror.””

Lillian has been cursed to remain in the house forever, old while downstairs, young while upstairs. When a man climbs the stairs, he will immediately age. Only in the middle of the stairs can they be together. The sheriff makes his way into the home, but they trick him as Clyde has aged by coming upstairs. He stays there too long, turning into an elderly old man, but when Lillian tries to save him, she has aged all the way back into being an infant.

This is based on “Staired… in Horror!” from Vault of Horror #23. It was written by William Gaines and Al Feldstein and drawn by Graham Ingels. This story is nothing like this episode, instead being about a lighthouse, a woman who murders husbands and zombies. Good Lord — choke!

Directed by Martin von Haselberg — the husband of Bette Midler — and written by Scott Nimerfro, “The Assassin” has housewife Janet McKay (Shelley Hack) fighting Simone Bardou (Chelsea Field) and her henchmen Todd (Corey Feldman) and William (Jonathan Banks), who are looking for a missing agent named Ronald Wald.

This episode starts with the Crypt Keeper talking to the Grim Reaper, who is William Sadler, just like in Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure (Sadler is also in Tales from the Crypt: Demon Knight). A lot of this dialogue would be recycled in the beginning of Tales from the Crypt: Bordello of Blood with Sadler dressed as a mummy.

Grim Reaper: So, then I was over in India you know, and I whipped up this little monsoon. Man, I must have reaped hundreds that day. Hundreds, just like that.

Crypt Keeper: Really?

Grim Reaper: Oh, yes. Oh, yes. Of course, I normally prefer to take souls one at a time, one at a time, but, you know, I had taken some vacation days and it was the end of the month, and so, you know how it goes. Oh! By the way, did I mention that I was in Europe? There was an Elvis sighting there, so I figured I’d check it out. But it was just a fat guy in a sequin suit. I took him anyway.

Crypt Keeper: Oh really? That’s very interesting.

Grim Reaper: Yes, I thought so, too. But enough about me. I want to tell you why I am here.

Crypt Keeper: More champagne?

Grim Reaper: Why, sure. Thanks. Who are you saving the good stuff for? You know, you and I have been friends for a long time, and much as I enjoy these little visits, it seems to me that this tomb is not quite big enough for the both of us.

Crypt Keeper: What’s that supposed to mean?

Grim Reaper: I want to propose a contest between you and me. Winner take all.

Crypt Keeper: And the loser? You’re on pal! 1…2…

Grim Reaper: My rock beats your scissors!

Crypt Keeper: Damn!

Grim Reaper: Give me your hand.

Crypt Keeper: Well, kiddies, looks like your pal the Crypt Keeper is in the fright of his life…death…which is kind of like the woman in tonight’s terror tale. It’s a nasty little chopping spree I call…”The Assassin.” That didn’t hurt one bit.

Grim Reaper: Second round?

Crypt Keeper: Go for it.

The agents plan to kill Janet even if she isn’t connected to spying, but it seems like she’s a bit more dangerous than she seems.

This is based on “The Assassin,” which is in Shock SuspenStories #17. It was written by William Gaines and Al Feldstein and drawn by George Evers. That story isn’t like this at all, but you may have come to expect this from this series.

Airing from January to September of 2024, this is the twentieth — can you believe that? — season of this show. Actually, this is ten episodes from that season — the newer stories — that started in June:

• Mysteries of the Maya
• Unlocking the Stargates
• The Whistleblowers
• The Search for Extraterrestrial Intelligence
• Jacques Vallée: UFO Pioneer
• The Teachers
• Egypt’s Giant Tombs
• The Linda Moulton Howe Files”
• “The Chosen
• Resurrecting Puma Punku

If you love this show, you know what this is all about. If you’ve never watched it, you’re about to learn things like how “new evidence is being discovered that completely upends our understanding of this ancient culture… and might provide evidence that the Maya came in contact with extraterrestrial visitors” and the story of Puma Punku in Bolivia, “which features some of the largest stone blocks on Earth, each carved with incredible precision. But the blocks lie scattered across the landscape, baffling archaeologists as to what the ancient site might have been.”

Whether you want to discover the fact that stargates are real, learn who Jacques Vallée is (in addition to being an Internet pioneer, computer scientist, venture capitalist, author, ufologist and astronomer, he was also the inspiration for Lacombe in Close Encounters of the Third Kind and narrates UFOs: It Has Begun), ponder who aliens give intelligence to and study the life Linda Moulton Howe (the former 1963 Miss Idaho and Miss America contestant who became a journalist who became one of the most important voices in Fortean and ufo writing, as well as a guest on Coast to Coast for decades), you’ll find something worth getting into on this set.

If you don’t believe, well, you can always get a laugh of out Giorgio A. Tsoukalos’ hair.

Jessica’s niece, Victoria Brandon (Genie Francis), learns that her fiancé Howard Griffin (Jeff Conaway) is performing in drag and may be the killer of the owner of his club, Al Drake (Martin Landau). Does everyone in Jessica’s family have issues with the people they marry?

Season 1, Episode 2: Birds of a Feather (October 14, 1984)

Tonight on Murder, She Wrote…

Jessica’s niece doesn’t know much about the man she’s in love with.

Who’s in it, outside of Angela Ladsbury and were they in any exploitation movies?

Bart Braverman plays Bill Patterson. He was in 20 Million Miles to Earth, The Great Texas Dynamite Case, Alligator and Hollywood Hot Tubs 2: Educating Crystal.

Genie Francis, Jessica’s niece, has played Laura Spencer on General Hospital since 1977. Her soon-to-be groom is played by Jeff Conaway, who was in Taxi and several erotic thrillers like In a Moment of Passion, Mirror Images, The Banker and Sunset Strip. They would both return as the same characters in season 3, episode 5, “Corned Beef and Cabbage.” Howard is in season 6, episode 15, “The Fixer-Upper,” but Dean Butler is in the role.

Mike Dupont is played by Dick Gautier, the voice of Hot Rod on The Transformers, Serpentor in G.I. Joe and Hymie on Get Smart. He’s in one other episode of this show.

Lt. Floyd Novack is Harry Guardino, who played Bressler in Dirty Harry and The Enforcer, one of many police officer roles.

Comedian Freddy York is Gabe Kaplan, who everyone knows best from Welcome Back, Kotter.

The evil club owner? That’s Martin Landau, who became a big star again after Ed Wood but also made movies like Sliver, Alone In the Dark, The Being, Without Warning and Shadows In an Empty Room. His wife, Candice, is Carol Lawrence. She sang “I Feel Pretty” and appeared in three other Murder, She Wrote episodes.

Barbara Stevenson is played by Barbara Rhodes, who was No Balls Hadley in The Choirboys.

In the minor roles, we have Robin Bach (the first of five appearances on the show), John O’Leary, William Phipps (the voice of Cinderella‘s Prince Charming), Brian Avery, Gary Pagett, Herndon Jackson, Tony Ballen, Nick Savage, Ken Clayton, Bret Dunsford, Shirley Lang, Ethelreda Leopold (whose career stretched back to 1931) and he husband Joe Pine, Lemuel Perry and early parts for George Clooney and Andy Garcia.

What happens?

Mike Dupont and Al Drake get into an argument — just after he shuts down another man named Howard, telling him that he has to be at the club tonight — just to make us wonder who they are. As we get the idea that one of them wants to murder the other, we meet Jessica’s niece, Victoria, who has wedding fever. She also wants her aunt to love her future partner, who always works. He’s Howard, the guy we saw mistreated by Al Drake a few minutes ago.

Howard has blown her off for the last five evenings and keeps coming home smelling of perfume, with lipstick all over him. Jessica tries to gently suggest that perhaps they should investigate what’s happening, leading them to find matchbooks from a nightclub. And when they go to that nightclub, not only do they see some lousy comedy from Freddy, but they also see a drag act. Just as he starts his act, someone yells, and it turns out that Al has been shot and killed. Howard, who runs out of the room, is blamed as the murderer, which means that Jessica goes from trying to find out if he’s a cheat to defending him against the police.  And oh yeah, Howard is also in drag.

Jessica figures out that the murder happened sooner than it appears. Meanwhile, Mrs. Drake — who was having an affair with the other male in drag, Mike — fires Barbara, who was possibly having an affair with her husband. Jessica gets the scoop on this dirt just in time for Freddy to almost get killed by falling lights.

Then, Jessica turns on the charm by heading to Novak’s apartment and playing with his cat, just as the tough guy reveals that he’s a soft touch. He’s also concerned that she’s been targeted because she knows too much. Then, as she tries to nap, a pillow reminds her of the clue she missed.

Who did it?

Freddy York, who used a pillow as a silencer. Jessica pulls off an incredible guess here, as his office has a window, and he has the only sunbaked pillow.

Who made it?

John Llewellyn Moxey directed this, the first of eighteen episodes of the show he would direct. His TV movie career is one of the finest you’ll find; he also directed The City of the Dead. He always worked with over a hundred credits, and the best of his directing includes The Night Stalker and Home for the Holidays.

This is the first episode not written by one of the creators. Robert Swanson, who wrote 87 Murder, She Wrote stories, contributed his first one. He spent most of his career writing for TV. Robert Van Scoyk, who had a similar career, is the executive story editor.

Some facts…

Some time has passed between the last episode and this story, as Jessica has six best-selling books.

The only person to kill someone in the Fletcher family was a soldier in the Revolutionary War.

Does Jessica get some?

No, but she does charm Lt. Novak’s assistant. When Novak says, “What is it about that woman that makes me nervous?” he says, “I think she’s kind of cute.” Somehow, she gets some of the evidence thanks to this guy. That said, she does go to Novak’s apartment.

Does Jessica dress up and act stupid?

No.

Was it any good?

This is the first episode in which Jessica is more nosy than a detective, but it’s not bad. This episode sets up the way the show will be for most episodes, but like a warm cup of tea, you always know what it will taste like, yet it relaxes you when you need it.

Give me a reasonable quote:

Jessica Fletcher: I’ve got the name of a very good lawyer. Is there anything else you need?

Howard Griffin: How about a pair of pants?

Got a TV Guide ad?

No.

What’s next?

Jessica has one of her books turned into a slasher in an episode filled with some of my favorite actors!

Felix Johnson and Aaron Scott (Mark Dacascos and Stoney Jackson) are the best martial artists in the world — Dacascos has been in The Crow: Stairway to Heaven TV series, plays the Chairman on Iron Chef America, is a 4th-degree black belt in Wun Hop Kuen Do and in so many action movies, while Jackson is an action movie actor, but was also a dancer in Michael Jackson’s “Beat It,” the lead singer of The Sorels in Streets of Fire and Wacky Dee in CB4 — and are content never proving who is better. Their wives — Andrea and Aubrey (Marjean Holden, Sheeva from Mortal Kombat: Annihilation, and Debbe Dunning, Heidi the Tool Time girl on Home Improvement series 3-8) — are competitive, and both want their respective men to be the star of a new movie, The Pulverizer. The fighting gets so bad that promoter Wink Barnum (Wayne Newton) signs them up to battle to the death on PPV. But do Felix and Aaron want to die to impress their wives by fighting in a Malaysian death match on a show called Kaos in the Kage?

“Deck the halls with parts of Charlie/Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la! Make the yuletide gross and gnarly/Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-ha-ha! Oh, hello, creeps. It’s me, your favorite holiday spirit, doing a little Crypt-mas decorating. Boy, do I love this time of year. Chestnuts roasting on an open fire, Jack Frost nipping at your- Hey, Jack! Get away from me! YOW! I guess he’s off my Christmas chopping list. Which brings to mind tonight’s terror tale. It’s about two martial artists who do some chopping of their own, in a tasteless fright to the finish, I call: “The Pit.””

In the end, everyone gets what they want. The abusive wives get to beat each other into bloody, bruised messes, while the husbands get to turn the movie into a buddy cop adventure film, The Pulverizers. This is one episode where no one dies.

This episode was directed and written by Pittsburgh native John Harrison—read the interview with him here—who was Sir Pelinore in Knightriders, the first Assistant Director for Creepshow and Day of the Dead and the villain of Effects. He also made two ground-breaking Dune mini-series for SyFy.

This episode is based on “The Pit!” from Vault of Horror #40. It was written by Carl Wessler and drawn by Bernie Kristein. In that story, the husbands watch cocks and dogs fight, then finally, their wives tear one another apart.

After the pilot, we learn who Jessica is, what she does, and how she solves crimes. But what about Cabot Cove, her hometown? What’s that like? And how does it become the murder capital of the world, thanks to Jessica living there? This episode will introduce us to its many recurring characters.

Season 1, episode 1: Deadly Lady (October 7, 1984)

Tonight on Murder, She Wrote…

A mysterious person visits Jessica — who never even met him — and is swept into a hurricane. 

Who’s in it, outside of Angela Lansbury and were they in any exploitation movies?

The first continuing cast member — for four episodes — is Captain Ethan Cragg, played by Claude Atkins, who is used to playing lawmen. After all, he was the son of a police officer. Beyond being Sheriff Lobo, a spinoff character from BJ and the Bear, he also was in The Curse, Tentacles (as a sheriff), Battle for the Planet of the Apes as General Aldo, The Night Stalker TV movie (yes, as a sheriff) and a ton of guest star roles on TV shows.

Sheriff Amos Tupper is the main recurring character on the show, other than Jessica. In addition to appearing on 255 episodes of Happy Days, Tom Bosley left the show to appear on the Father Dowling Mysteries for 42 episodes. He’s in 19 episodes of this show and is one of the main culprits that I bring up of older men who are trying to get wild with Mrs. Fletcher.

Doran Clark (The Warriors, Black Eagle) is Nancy Earle. Like many actors, she would be on Murder, She Wrote more than once, returning for two more appearances as different characters.

Howard Duff comes from the Golden Age of Hollywood and guest-starred on just about every major TV show of the 1970s and 1980s. Here, he plays Ralph and Stephen Earl in a dual role.

Marilyn Hassett is most famous for the two The Other Side of the Mountain movies. This is the first of three guest star roles on the show for her, as she appears as Maggie Earl.

Terry Jones is played by former Battlestar Galactica actor Richard Hatch, who was in some great junk like Prisoners of the Lost Universe, Party Line, Dark Bar and Delta Force Commando II: Priority Red One.

Ann Lockhart has plenty of voiceover work on her resume and appearances in Dark Tower, Troll and 10 to Midnight. She’s Grace Earl Lamont in this one.

Loretta Young discovered Dack Rambo, best known for playing Jack Ewing in Dallas. On August 30, 1991, he left the soap opera Another World and never acted again after learning he had contracted HIV. Sadly, he died in 1994, one of the first celebrities to be open about AIDS.

Cassie Yates appeared in The Evil before this episode, the first of four in which she would appear.

In the minor roles, we have Tom Bower, Carol Swarbrick, John Petlock, Robert Beecher and Jackie Joseph, the original Audry in Little Shop of Horrors.

What happens?

A hurricane has hit Cabot Cove, home of mystery writer Jessica Fletcher, and a yacht with four sisters — Nancy, Maggie, Lisa and Grace — is rescued, but claim that their father, Stephen, was swept overboard.

Meanwhile, a seemingly homeless man named Ralph appears and asks Jessica if he can do some work around the house. Despite being what some would call a hobo, he’s well-dressed, and she quickly takes a liking to him.

Sheriff Tupper refuses to declare Stephen dead, as the girls are all heirs to his fortune. Maggie soon confesses to killing him, but then Ralph’s body washes up and he’s definitely Stephen. The truth? The sisters worked with their dad to draw out Nancy’s ex-fiancé, Terry Jones, and prove he stole from her. But then, who killed the dad?

Stephen died while Maggie was in the custody of the police. What a tangled mess of shoe colors, family rivalry and Jessica making educated guesses. Can Cabot Cove’s most famous citizen find the real killer?

Who did it?

Maggie, working with Terry, set up her sister Nancy.

Who made it?

The same character made the pilot with Corey Allan directing and show creators Fischer, Levinson and Link writing for the first official episode of the series. It’s shot by the same talent as that episode, Mario Di Leo.

Some facts…

For those Battlestar fans, you already know that Richard Hatch and Anne Lockhart played Captain Apollo and Lieutenant Sheba on the original show.

The Hill House Hotel in Cabot Cove is actually The Hill House Inn in Mendocino, CA. According to its website, it’s currently being renovated but will open soon.

It seemed like every 80s show had an unseen character, like Vera on Cheers. Murder, She Wrote has telephone operator Letitia, who makes her first audio appearance in this installment.

In this episode, we learn that Jessica has written at least three books, the latest of which is Dirge for a Dead Dachshund.

Does Jessica get some?

It doesn’t seem like it, but we set up the relationships between Jessica and Amos- a long-time friend- and her and Ethan, who can’t stand her. Then again, there’s a thin line between anger and rolling around in the sack. After all, just look at this flirty dialogue between them:

Capt. Ethan Cragg: I suppose that means you’ll want me to bait your hook, too.

Jessica Fletcher: Of course. You always do, don’t you?

That said, if I were writing fan fiction, Ralph would make a home between her thighs. Just look at her face while they’re talking.

Does Jessica dress up and act stupid?

No, but trust me, these moments are coming.

Was it any good?

It’s a good first regular-length episode, setting up the town, how Jessica fits in and how easily she can solve these mysteries.

Give me a reasonable quote:

Capt. Ethan Cragg: Amos, you’ve been reading too many of Jessica’s books.

Sheriff Amos Tupper: Well, that’s how much you know, Ethan. I haven’t read any of ’em.

Got a TV Guide ad?

No, but I have the show’s page from the fall preview issue.

What’s next?

In “Birds of a Feather,” Jessica’s niece Victoria Brandon — another problem relative — is shocked when her fiancé Howard Griffin is arrested for the murder of San Francisco drag club owner Al Drake.

Martin Zeller (Terry O’Quinn), a fire inspector, has received nudes of his daughter, Hiley (Kimberly Williams-Paisley), in the mail. He believes they’ve come from Puck (Esai Morales), the owner of a men’s establishment known as The Naked Experience. Puck tells him that it would be easier if he’d take a bribe. Martin wants to shut him down.

“My fellow Americans, I’m running for office because I think the political process needs a little stiff competition. It needs new bleed-er-ship! It needs someone like me in the Fright House! But, you may ask, aren’t there a few skeletons in your closet? Sure there are. And a vampire or two, and a werewolf. What of it? At least I’m not like the man in tonight’s terror tale. He’s a fire inspector who’s about to learn the difference between rot and wrong. I call it: “The Bribe.””

When he returns home, Martin learns that Hiley has lost her scholarship and rich boyfriend Ron (Ron Carlson) over the photos, so he finally has to accept that bribe so that she can go to college. Upset that he’s lowered himself this far, he pays an arsonist, Bic (Max Grodenchik), to burn down the club.

Life gets better for Hiley as Ron returns to her and Martin gifts her the gold bracelet he gave her mother on their wedding day. That night, Bic turns the club into a firepit, and everyone inside- there was a private party- dies. Puck claims it was an engagement party for Hiley and Ron. Martin blows his brains out, only for us to discover that the following day, Hiley comes back. She’s alive and has eloped with her new husband. It’s not Ron, but Bill (Benicio del Toro), the manager of the strip club who referred to her earlier as “a friend” as well as the photographer of her nudes. She’d sent them to her father and left the party early, leaving behind the bracelet that meant so much to her mother.

Directed by Ramón Menéndez (Stand and Deliver) and written by Scott Nimerfro, this is one of the darkest episodes of this series that I’ve seen. Everyone, other than Martin, has no morals, and even his daughter, who he sells himself out for and who he would do anything to make happy, is only out for herself, marrying the worst person for her and using her body to get what she wants. When Martin takes the step to erase his sins, he believes that he’s caused the death of the one person he sees as innocent — his daughter — but then we learn that she’s anything but. As for Ron, her supposed boyfriend, one is led to believe that he’s died in the fire while Puck makes it out alive if burned beyond recognition.

This is based on “The Bribe” from Shock SuspenStories #17, which was written by Al Feldstein and William Gaines and drawn by Wally Wood, the best artist in the E.C. Comics stable. Martin’s daughter is a bit more innocent in this story, which doesn’t have the double twist ending.