Jessica sets out to clear the name of a friend who is a prime suspect in a murder case.

Season 1, Episode 17: Footnote to Murder (March 10, 1985)

Tonight on Murder, She Wrote…

Being friends with Jessica Fletcher is like shaking hands with death itself.

Who’s in it, outside of Angela Lansbury, and were they in any exploitation movies?

Vincent Baggetta plays Frank Lapinski. You may know him from his other two appearances on this show, as well as playing cops on Days of Our Lives, Renegade, the TV movie Shakedown On Sunset Strip and T.J. Hooker.

Debbie Delancey? That’s Martin Balsam’s daughter Talia, who was also in Mad Men, The Kindred, The Supernaturals, Crawlspace and The Initiation of Sarah. She was also married to George Clooney once.

Tiffany Harrow is played by Morgan Brittany, who was Baby June in Gypsy, as well as Katherine Wentworth on Dallas and appeared in Sundown: The Vampire In Retreat, Death Car On the Freeway, The Initiation of Sarah — making this a reunion, kinda — and was Mary in Sunn Classics’ In Search of Historic Jesus. You may ask, “Why does the Virgin Mary have to be so hot?” Because Sunn Classics knew that despite their movies being G-rated four-walled family movies, they still needed something for daddy. She also did stunts for Fighting Back and The Happy Hooker Goes Hollywood. I also love this credit on her IMDB. Pabst Blue Ribbon Beer James Bond Style Speedboat Commercial. You can see it here. Who knew PBR could be so fancy?

Lucinda Lark is played by Constance Forslund, who was in the remake of Village of the Damned, Uncommon Valor and took over the role of Ginger for The Harlem Globetrotters On Gilligan’s Island.

A.D.A. Mel Comstock? That’s Pat Harrington, forever Schneider from One Day at a Time. He would be in four episodes of this show. He was also the voice of The Atom and Speedy on the Aquaman 1960s cartoon!

Kenneth Mars is Helmsley Post. Speaking of voice work, he was Triton in The Little Mermaid and Grandpa Longneck in The Land Before Time. He was also the mayor in Police Academy 6: City Under Siege and appeared in the Bruce Willis cartoon—yes, he had his own cartoon in 1996—Bruno the Kid: The Animated Movie.

This time, the law is Lt Meyer, played by Ron Masak. Masak would become a regular on the series after season 5, playing Sheriff Mort Metzger.

Diana Muldaur plays Alexis Post. Did I cast this episode? She has also starred in The Swimmer, Imps*, Maneaters Are Loose! and Chosen Survivors.

Hey! It’s Mr. Brady! Robert Reed plays Adrian Winslow. If you only know him from being a TV dad, hunt down his TV movies like SST: Death Flight, Secret Night Caller, Pray for the Wildcats and Haunts of the Very Rich.

Paul Sand as Horace Lynchfield, the presumed killer.

In the more minor roles, there’s John C. Bechner (Dr. Molinaro from Gremlins) as an eye doctor, John Brandon as Ernie, Mark Harrison as an assistant DA, William McDonald as a bailiff, Michael Kearns as a reporter, Nancy Marlow listed as a lady, Bigg Yeager as a cop, Lana Schwab as a clerk, and Larry Carr, Bart Greene, Sam Haggin, Shirley Lang, Richard Niehaus, Norman Palmer, Kimberly L. Ryusaki and Roger Trantham as background characters.

What happens?

Jessica is in New York City to get a Gotham Book Award for being a crime writer. She hangs out with another writer, Horace, a downer, and Kenneth Mars, a jerk. Does Jessica have better writer friends? Are all writers total losers? Hey — don’t answer that so soon.

Horace is getting drunk, another would-be writer named Debbie Delancey keeps trying to get Jessica to read her story, and people just seem to hate one another in New York City (say that like Lazlo from What We Do In the Shadows). She has to break up a fight between some of the writers and wakes up with Hemsley’s umbrella, so she goes to return it. When she gets there, he’s dead, and Downer Horace’s umbrella is stuck in the guy’s chest.

This is where Jessica should just go home.

Of course, this is where she starts to solve the murder.

Somehow, Horace was in bed with Lucinda Lark — can you believe it? — and has an alibi. Lucinda wrote a book called Women Unleashed so we can only assume that she pegged the butt out of Horace. Or hope.

Who did it?

Debbie, who got the famous author to look at her book, was surprised when he tried to show her more than she wanted. Whoops. His death is an accident.

Who made it?

Director Peter Crane worked on nine episodes of the show and episodes of Moonlighting, Darkroom, Knight Rider and Voyagers! The Script was written by Robert E. Swanson, who assembled 87 scripts for it.

Does Jessica get some?

You would think that with her waking up with a man’s umbrella, the answer would be yes. But no. She also doesn’t dress up or act drunk, despite actually drinking.

Was it any good?

I like it when Jessica stays home, but she should get out every once in a while.

Any trivia?

Helmsley Post, the manly writer of war books, and Adrian Winslow, the nonmanly writer of historical novels, are supposed to be writers who hate one another, like Norman Mailer and Gore Vidal. Get it? Post? Mailer?

John C. Becher and Lansbury were in the original Broadway cast of Mame together.

Give me a reasonable quote:

Horace Lynchfield: Now, what I need is some cigarettes and a stiff drink. Let’s get out of here, okay?

Jessica Fletcher: Oh! At the risk of sounding like a nag, Horace, you’re gonna have to do something about your drinking.

Horace Lynchfield: Are you saying to cut back? That would be like depriving a race car of its gasoline.

What’s next?

A great episode is on the way. Jessica is forced to take refuge from a storm at a remote diner when one of the passengers is found stabbed in his seat on a bus to Boston.

Daniel (Steve Coogan) comes to the rescue of Teresa (Julia Sawalha), a homeless pregnant woman with whom he soon falls in love. However, when her baby (Alexander Arcay) is born, he begins to resent the child and contemplates how to dispose of the infant. He even considers selling her to child traffickers. When the baby goes missing, he attempts to acquire another one, seemingly believing that a mother wouldn’t be able to recognize her own child.

“What? Are you blind?! That ball was on the line, pal! Oh, hello, kiddies. I was just warming up for the Wimbletomb Tennis Tournament. Normally I love a bit of stiff competition, but this guy is driving me nuts! Still, the match isn’t over yet. We’re playing beast two out of three. Which brings to mind the man in tonight’s tale. He’s about to play a little die-breaker of his own in a sickening hacks-hibition I call “Kidnapper.””

Directed by James H. Spencer (who spent most of his career as a production designer but was the 2nd unit director on Gremlins 2) and Robin Bextor from a script by John Harrison and Scott Nimerfro, this is the worst-rated episode of the show on IMDB.

Daniel steals another baby, and it ends up being Teresa’s child. His heart was in the wrong place, even if he’s dead now.

Jessica uncovers the ugly side of sportsmanship when she inherits part-ownership of a football team.

Season 1, Episode 16: Sudden Death (March 3, 1985)

Tonight on Murder, She Wrote…

Jessica knows nothing about football but everything about murder. Guess what happens when she gets to own part of a team?

Who’s in it, outside of Angela Lansbury, and were they in any exploitation movies?

Potential new owner Web McCord is played by John Beck, Moonpie from Rollerball.

The coach, Pat Patillo, is Warren Berlinger. He was in everything from The World According to Garp to Thunder Alley and The Girl Most Likely To…

Dick Butkus is defensive captain Tank Mason. After a career playing for the Chicago Bears, Butkus has been in many movies and TV shows.

Brad Lockwood is David Doyle, who was Bosley on Charlie’s Angels.

Zak Farrell is played by Bruce — now Caitlyn — Jenner.

Hey! Gary Lockwood from The Farmer! He’s Harris Talmadge!

James McEachin plays Groundskeeper Grover Dillon. He was Lt. Brock on the new Perry Mason TV movies and appeared in Fuzz and Play Misty for Me.

Kathy Farrell is Jan Smithers, Bailey from WKRP In Cincinnati.

Phil Kreuger? That’s Allan Miller from Cruising, the chief of detectives. His wife in this, Mavis, is played by Elizabeth Savage.

Lt. Clyde Pitts is the cop this time, and he’s Tim Thomerson! Yes, Jack Deth! Did you know he used to do stand-up?

In minor roles, we have George Golden, David Lewman, Eric Mansker, Arthur Tovey, Ralph Clift, Albert Lord, Marcianne Warman and Arnold F. Turner.

What happens?

Jessica’s Uncle Cyrus has died, and she’s told by Bradford Lockwood that she’s the part-owner of the Leopards, a football team that seemingly plays in a stadium the size of a high school field. She’s nearly killed by one of those giant helmet vehicles before she even gets to learn more. It’s driven by Jill, the deaf daughter of Zak, a pre-transition Bruce Jenner. We meet them and Zak’s wife, Cathy.

Then we learn that the football team is in trouble. Are you surprised? Morale is low, and people are threatened if they keep losing. Jessica’s co-owner, Phil Kreuger, tries to buy her out for 30 grand. For an NFL team? Sure. Coach Pattillo then offers her 60, and she finds out that a group of investors owns 48%, Kreuger owns 48%, and she just has 4%.

Then Krueger offers her $150,000 and makes a threat on her life.

After a party, of course, Krueger is the one dead in the training room hot tub. Because the last time someone saw the victim was at the party, where Zak was yelling at him, he’s the suspect. After all, someone was making crank calls to Zak’s house, and he blamed Krueger.

When Jessica starts getting too close to the truth, giallo-gloved hands lock her in the steam room and nearly kill her. Grover saves her and then tells a lot of exposition, like how he used to be a player before he got hurt because of Krueger and how if Zak goes to jail, he won’t be on the team, and there will be more money for everyone.

Jessica calls home and talks to Amos. Are they a couple? Well, I have some thoughts on that. Stay tuned…

Who did it?

Web, who wanted to buy the team and killed Krueger. His blazer was wet in a photo, and that’s how Jessica figures it out.

Who made it?

Director Edward M. Abroms worked extensively as an editor—Blue Thunder, Street Fighter, Cherry 2000—and also directed TV shows like Nero Wolf, Man from Atlantis and “Something In The Woodwork” on Night Gallery.

Does Jessica get some?

Oh man, does she. I have photo evidence.

This is where it started, with her dancing with Tank…

And this is how it ends up, with her staring at him nude for an extended period.

One imagines they did some bump and run. She was his ball carrier all the way to completion. And there was plenty of unnecessary roughness.

Does Jessica dress up and act stupid?

No.

Was it any good?

Other than the fact that no NFL team would have facilities this poor, yes.

Any trivia?

When Jessica tells how she caught the murderer, she tells the police that she gave him a false clue involving a brass button, saying, “This really wasn’t an original idea. When I was in Los Angeles, a button actually did trip up a killer.” That comes from another episode this season, “Hooray for Homicide.”  That’s funny, because she’s staying at the same hotel in this episode, the Sheraton Universal Hotel, which is on the studio backlot.

Give me a reasonable quote:

Coach Pat Patillo: Mrs. Fletcher, I think you just put my defensive captain on the injured reserve.

Jessica Fletcher: Does that mean that he’s not dead?

Coach Pat Patillo: Not quite.

What’s next?

One of Jessica’s friends is the suspect in a murder. 

After losing their friend Cutter (John Salthouse) in a heist gone wrong, Ford (Ewan McGregor) and Cammy break up. Cammy gets a new lover named Jimmy (Colin Salmon), but Ford isn’t ready to let her go.

“Relationships aren’t about who’s right or wrong. Look, do you remember how you felt about each other when you were newlybleds? Do you want to feel the same way you felt at your marriage scare-emony? Good. Then let go of what you find eerie-tating about each other before it gross too far. Which is the kind of advice the young couple in tonight’s tale should take. They’re fiends and lovers whose relationship is clot between a rock and a horrid place. I call this one “Cold War.””

Directed by Andrew Morahan (who directed the videos for Wham!’s “Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go” and “Last Christmas,” “Careless Whisper” for George Michael, “November Rain” for Guns ‘n Roses, “West End Girls” for Pet Shop Boys, “Get That Love” by Thompson Twins, “Vision of Love” by Mariah Carey and so many more videos) and Robin Bextor from a script by Scott Nimerfro, this pulls the classic EC Comics move of setting up one character as a monster only for the other characters to also be supernatural, as Jimmy is a vampire while Ford and Cammy are zombies.

This is based on “Cold War” from Tales from the Crypt #43, which was written by Carl Wessler and drawn by Jack Kamen. In that tale, a man marries into a clan of zombies.

A private detective, hired by Jessica to research an old case, is suddenly murdered.

Season 1, Episode 15: Tough Guys Don’t Die (February 24, 1985)

Tonight on Murder, She Wrote…

Jessica meets Detective Harry McGraw (Jerry Orbach) and they solve the case of a murdered detective.

Who’s in it, outside of Angela Lansbury, and were they in any exploitation movies?

Orbach wouldn’t just come back numerous times — six appearances — he even got his own spin-off, The Law and Harry McGraw. He and Lansbury would also be the voices of Lumiere and Mrs. Potts in Beauty and the Beast.

Priscilla Daniels, one of  Archie Miles’ clients, is played by Barbara Babcock.

Larry King is John Furey (Friday the 13th Part II).

Erin Carey is Nancy Lee Grahn, Alexis Davis from General Hospital.

Gavin Daniels is John McMartin (Blow Out).

Ray Kravitz is played by Gerald S. O’Loughlin.

Ernie Santini is Alex Rocco, who has been in many good movies, including Motorpsycho.

Judge Lambert is Fritz Weaver (Creepshow).

The law in this episode, Detective Starkey, is Paul Winfield (The Horror at 37,000 Feet).

In the smaller roles, Floyd Levine plays Archie Miles, Alma Leonard plays actress Margery Nelson, Rosanna Huffman plays Connie Miles, Conrad Bachmann is an office manager, Tina Lifford plays Leora Cargill, Jana Brown is a receptionist, and Steven Ameche is a musician.

What happens?

A detective named Archie Miles is killed while investigating a case for Jessica. She wants to solve it, as does his partner Harry McGraw, who wants revenge. He’s not the nice Harry from later episodes.

The cops want Harry to kill the murderer as well, as many of them were trained by Archie. Meanwhile, all of the cases Archie had are still out there, like Mr. Santini, who isn’t cheating on his wife. He’s planning a surprise party. There’s also a Scalpel Murderer who is still free decades after their crimes.

The case that cost Archie his life? Priscilla Daniels. She had an abortion after getting pregnant as a grad student. She’s a politician now, and when Archie discovers the truth about her, his client, Mr. Kravitz, wants to use it against her. Archie refuses.

Who did it?

Mr. Kravitz, who killed Archie for getting in his way.

Who made it?

Another episode for director Seymour Robbie and writer/series creator Peter S. Fischer.

Does Jessica get some?

Harry tells her at the end that he’s only 124 miles from Cabot Cove. Maybe soon?

Does Jessica dress up and act stupid?

No.

Was it any good?

This is a hard-boiled detective story for this show.

Any trivia?

Barbara Babcock would appear on The Law and Harry McGraw as his secretary, Ellie McGinnis.

The Concorde footage is from Airport ’79.

Give me a reasonable quote:

Harry McGraw: Look, Mrs. Fletcher, why don’t you take some advice? Why don’t you devote that boundless energy of yours to needlepoint or a bridge club?

Jessica Fletcher: Eh, I tried that. It’s precisely the reason why I wrote my first book: I was bored out of my mind.

What’s next?

Jessica inherits a football team.

Crooks Nick Marvin and T (James Wilby and Ronan Vibert) get an assignment from Mr. Starr (Peter Guinness), who wants them to stage a heist at his jewelry store so that he can grab a hefty insurance settlement. But T betrays Nick by shooting him in the shoulder and then Nick shoots back, getting the jewelry and running away to the Sandoval Hotel.

That’s when it gets strange.

“One small step for man, one giant – oh, hello scar-gazers. You’re just in time. My skeleton crew and I are about to blast off for a little space hackslporation. Care to join us? Good. I hope you’re made of the rot stuff ’cause we’ll be heading fright years from terror firma, boldly going where no ghoul has gaunt before. Hey pal, watch the suit or you’re launch meat! Which is kind of like the man in tonight’s tale. He’s going places too, except his deathstination is a little more earth-bound. It’s a nasty bit of scare-o-dynamics I call “Horror in the Night.””

The hotel has blood everywhere, strange people everywhere and Laura Kendall (Elizabeth McGovern), a woman who only Nick can see. She uses him to move on to the next stage of existence by, well, sending him back in time to shoot himself. As for the hotel, well, it hasn’t been open for years.

This episode was directed by Russell Mulcahy, who has experience in horror, having made Razorback and two other episodes of this series. It was written by John Harrison, who also directed Tales from the Darkside: The Movie.

Inspiration came from “Horror In the Night” from Vault of Horror #12. Written by William Gaines and Al Feldstein and drawn by Harvey Kurtzman, it’s very different than this episode. In the comic story, a woman’s baby is killed by a cat and she goes to war with animals.

The birthday celebration for a renowned Mediterranean artist is cut short when the guest of honor winds up dead.

Season 1, Episode 14: Paint Me a Murder (February 17, 1985)

Tonight on Murder, She Wrote…

Diego Santana (Caesar Romero), Jessica’s old friend, has his life threatened when she comes to visit. She is Death!

Who’s in it, outside of Angela Lansbury, and were they in any exploitation movies?

Obviously, Romero was the Joker on TV’s Batman and appeared in movies like Ocean’s Eleven, tons of TV and Latitude Zero.

His wife, Margo, is Cristina Raines, who was in Nashville and The Sentinel.

Fernando Allende plays his son Miguel, who was a big star in Latin America.

Judy Geeson is Elaine McComber. She was in Nightmare Hotel.

Belle Chaney is played by Capucine, who was in the Pink Panther movies, but is also in Lamberto Bava’s Delirium.

William Kaufmann? That’s Robert Goulet! GOULET!

Sir John Landry is played by Stewart Granger, who was in The Wild Geese and the original King Solomon’s Mines.

Stefan Conrad is Steven Keats, who was in Black Sunday and Death Wish.

The law in this one, Inspector Henry Kyle, is Ron Moody from Oliver!

Antonio is Pepe Hern and Rosa is Alma Beltran.

What happens?

Diego Santana is about to turn sixty, but he has a young wife, a friendly ex-wife and a great family. And oh yeah, he’s friends with Jessica, so he’s about to die. Also, Romero was 78 when this was made, but he looks great.

Diego thinks he’s about to be killed, and he warns Jessica, but yeah, he dies. Are you surprised? Well, it could be anyone: his son Miguel, who is stealing his paintings; his ex-wife Bella and pal Stefan, who is trying to get with Margo, Diego’s young wife.

Whoever did it really did it — with a crossbow! And they also try to set a shed on fire and kill Margo!

Who did it?

Sir John, who needs money, thinks that his paintings will be worth more if Diego dies.

Who made it?

TV movie king John Llewellyn Moxey directed this episode, which was written by series creator Peter S. Fischer.

Does Jessica get some?

Not now, but soon. When Jessica leaves, she tells Inspector Kyle that she plans to stop in England to see a cousin and that she could perhaps find time to see him. He tells her he’ll be waiting at the gate with a bouquet of flowers: “I shall be at the airport to greet you. Flowers in hand, heart on sleeve, and perhaps a murder to solve?”

Does Jessica dress up and act stupid?

No.

Was it any good?

Yes. This has another great cast and a good whodunnit.

Any trivia?

This was filmed at Arden Villa, the Dynasty Mansion, in Pasadena, California. It also appears in four more episodes.

Give me a reasonable quote:

Diego Santana: Bravo, Pedro. Ohh. The finest donkey I’ve ever seen. I think, perhaps, uh, the legs are a bit short, huh?

What’s next?

A private detective, hired by Jessica to research an old case, is suddenly murdered.