2022 Scarecrow Psychotronic Challenge Day 20: Nightmare Vacation (2017)

20. TRIPS: Vacations don’t always go how you planned them. Can you get away from the getaway?

This movie may use the UK title of Sleepaway Camp, but it’s actually a lost Polonia Brothers movie that was made by John Polonia and Todd Michael Smith, then restored and finished by Mark. He also provides the narration that keeps this film together, the duct tape holding together this shot on video haunted house, as it were.

This starts with a beach vacation that promises booze and babes, as they say, but ends with a fight sequence that goes on for a long time — and may still be going on — along with some cool see-through masks for the killer.

The camera flies all over the place but there’s a lot of blood. Sure, it’s not really a finished film, but do you come to a fifty-minute Polonia brothers movie from 1993 expecting something that the Criterion Collection will release?

You can watch this on Tubi.

 

SLASHER MONTH: Spliced (2002)

Also known as The Wisher, this Canadian early 2000s horror movie is way better than it has any right to be. Directed by Gavin Wilding and written by Ellen Cook, it has Liane Balaban as Mary, a teenage girl who is obsessed with horror. Her parents refuse to allow her to watch any more of these movies after they cause her to sleepwalk. She sneaks out with her friends to see a movie that literally makes audiences puke called The Wisher and before leaving, wishes that her father would go away. He dies on the way to stop her from going to the movie and now, she sees the Wisher character from the film as others are killed by her wishes, all while Joel Silver tries to be her therapist and Drew Lachey — Nick’s brother — tries to win her over.

The Wisher is such a big deal that it’s the only movie playing at the theater, except for Halloween Resurrection. Then, this gets down to subliminal messages within movies, early 2000s film piracy and the goofy Wisher showing up in the woods. It even has a post-story stinger where the lead’s little sister decides to watch The Wisher on cable — I would watch it, I mean, it has a tree kill a man — and then The Wisher — who this movie just Scooby-Doo explained away — is sitting on the couch next to her.

Huh?

You can watch this on Tubi.

BROOKLYN HORROR FILM FESTIVAL: Mother Superior (2022)

Sigrun (Isabella Händler) is working as a nurse for Baroness Heidenreich (Inge Maux), who is dealing with Parkinson’s disease. Why? Well, it turns out that the old woman at one time was the director of an Aryan maternity ward and she may be able to help Sigrun locate her real parents. She soon discovers a secret Third Reich archive but her file is the only one missing. That’s because the Baroness knows who she is — the Valkyrie name is part of why — and she wants Sigrun to join her feminist secret society, the very same one that tried to take power away from Hitler. Oh yeah — they’re also powered by the darkest of occult powers, ones that can show Sigrun exactly how her mother died.

The debut film of director and writer Marie Alice Wolfszahn, this is that most rare of movies: a feminist gothic that has a berserk jazz soundtrack and deals with “völkisch” occultism, one that draws on the pure Aryan blood of Germany, which, yeah, that last part of the sentence made me uncomfortable to write. It’s gorgeous, sure, but man, the imagery of Teutonic tribes hits a little strange in my mind. Maybe I’m just a little sensitive, what with all the all black American flags flying in my neighborhood.

That said — there’s a lot to think about in this film and plenty to stare at. Those dream sequences are something else.

BROOKLYN HORROR FILM FESTIVAL: Megalomaniac (2022)

Directed and written by Karim Ouelhaj, it’s about Martha (Eline Schumacher) and Félix (Benjamin Ramon), the children of the Butcher of Mons, a notorious Belgian serial killer from the 1990s. Martha lives a normal life while her brother has taken over the work of his father. But when she’s harassed and violently attacked at work, she finds herself in the same twisted mind of her father and brother.

Unable to get back at her accuser at work, Martha soon takes a woman hostage and chains her up, belittling the woman for her looks. Then, Felix joins her, pulling her further into his darkness. All of the pent-up hatred that she has for herself, all the pain and trauma of growing up the daughter of a killer, it all comes out as she attacks her victim.

Just let me warn you now: this is a dark watch, one that will upset nearly everyone who watches it and it doesn’t have the release valve of the slasher. It’s unrelenting blackness, a way too normal world filled with broken people perpetuating the cycle of abuse, violence and pain. I don’t usually give out trigger warnings, but trigger warning for everything.

SLASHER MONTH: Puppet Master X: Axis Rising (2012)

Docter Freuhoffer (Oto Brezina) is obsessed with dolls and has been forced by Kommandant Moebius (Scott Anthony King) to learn how to bring the dead back to life or his daughter will be executed. Working with the evil Uschi (Stephanie Sanditz), he tries to reverse engineer the captured Tunneler and ends up making evil puppets Blitzkrieg, Bombshell, Weremacht and Kamikaze who battle the good puppets Blade, Pinhead, Leech Woman, Jester and Six Shooter.

If you look closely enough, you can also see Freakshow’s robotic baby from Killjoy 4, the Zuni doll from Trilogy of Terror and Retro-Tunneler’s head which was last in Retro Puppet Master.

Directed by Charles Band, who wrote the script with Shane Bitterling, this leads into the last film in the triology. Reviewers were not kind to this one, but you know, puppets fighting World War II is a theme that I’m going to watch no matter what. I mean, they did it four times, including the Blade spin-off, and I’ve watched them all.

THE IMPORTANT CINEMA CLUB’S SUPER SCARY MOVIE CHALLENGE DAY 19: The Lure (2015)

19. A Musical Horror Film (That’s Not Rocky HorrorLittle Shop of Horrors or Nightmare Before Christmas).

“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. Mermaids make their way up from the abyss to the seabed. Then they use it for leverage and swim to the surface. I give you: The Lure.”

In Poland, this movie was called Córki dancingu (Daughters of Dancing) and it’s a musical reworking of The Little Mermaid but filtered through director Agnieszka Smoczyńska’s experiences growing up in her mother’s nightclub, a place where she experienced her “first shot of vodka, first cigarette, first sexual disappointment and first important feeling for a boy.” She said that she used mermaids to hide the personal parts of the story and create a way to hide all of the emotions that came from her real life.  Yet she took those mermaids and made them, in part, monstrous. Writer Robert Bolesto was inspired to also tell the story of two of his friends that were part of the 80s nightclub scene.

Golden (Michalina Olszańska) and Silver (Marta Mazurek) rise from the water and watch a band called Figs n’ Dates playing music. They follow them back to a nightclub where they become dancers with the band, finally becoming The Lure, the main attraction while the band plays behind them.

All the while, Silver falls in love with the bassist Mietek — who sees her as an animal and not a woman — while her sister only views humans as food.

They’re not the only undersea creatures that are in Poland’s music industry. Triton (Marcin Kowalczyk) is a singer for a metal band and knows how the world works between the magic world and the mundane world. If Silver gives her heart to Mietek and he marries someone else, she will become sea foam. She gives up her tail and her voice for love, yet even her new body — covered with surgical scars and blood — disgusts Mietek, who marries a woman he has only known for a day.

Of course, this must all end in tragedy. Silver must devour Mietek before daybreak, but she can’t bring herself to do so. You can imagine the pain and horror that comes next. The ocean beckons, after all.

We live in a world where people become enraged when someone with a different skin color is a mermaid. All of those people so upset should watch this. Then, mermaids should devour them.

This is a film that I’ll ponder over probably for the rest of my life. It’s not as upsetting as Mermaid In a Manhole — what is? — but it gets close in all the very best of ways. Plus, the songs have a way of getting wrapped around your ear.

2022 Scarecrow Psychotronic Challenge Day 19: The Green Slime (1968)

19. DRIPS: Blood, sweat, goop, tears, slime, or questionable muck is a must here.

Known in Japan as Ganmā Daisan Gō: Uchū Daisakusen or Gamma 3: The Great Space War, this was directed by Kinji Fukasaku (Battles Without Honor or HumanityBattle RoyaleMessage from Space) and written by American screenwriters Tom Rowe, Charles Sinclair and Bill Finger, the uncredited for decades co-creator of Batman. It was shot with a Japanese crew and has non-Japanese actors Robert Horton, Richard Jaeckel and Luciana Paluzzi in the lead roles. A  co-production between Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer, Ram Films and Toei, this had MGM paying and providing the script, along with Toei hiring the film crew and getting a location to shoot this.

Commander Jack Rankin (Horton) takes command of space station Gamma 3 with the goal of destroying Flora, an asteroid about to end all life on Earth. Along with Commander Vince Elliot (Jaeckel) and science officer Dr. Hans Halversen (Ted Gunther) to set bombs off on the surface of the asteroid, but they end up bringing back some of that green slime. That slime starts eating any energy it can and turns into one-eyed creatures that love to kill humans.

As we’re getting into the United Nations nature of this movie, it all started in Italy, as years before MGM had contracted Antonio Margheriti to direct four movies about the adventures of space station Gamma One: Wild, Wild Planet, War of the Planets, War Between the Planets and Snow Devils. MGM was so happy with these movies that they released them theatrically. This was intended by producers Walter Manley and Ivan Reiner as the fifth film in the series.

Charles Fox, who wrote the theme song for this film, would go on to co-write “Killing Me Softly With His Song,” the Wonder Woman theme and music for Barbarella. It has Randy Nauert on sitar, Richard Delvy playing drums as well as producing and arranging, Rick Lancelot singing, Rob Edwards on guitar and Paul Tanner playing Theremin.

TUBI ORIGINAL: Alone In the Dark (2022)

No, not the sadly underrated slasher.

Not the bad video game movie.

This Tubi original is the tale of Bri Collins (Novi Brown), a recently divorced woman who is under house arrest for a year thanks to her ex-husband Michael’s (Christopher Bencomo) crimes. Instead of just getting to hide out and do her time, a stalker who can control her home — this is why I don’t let Alexa control mine — starts trying to kill her.

If you’re expecting this to be a slasher, it’s more of a Lifetime-style woman in danger movie. I mean, that’s fine, but I’d hate if you showed up expecting anything else.

Directed by Brant Daugherty, who co-wrote this with his wife Kimberly (who also is in the movie as best friend Sofia), Bri finally gets sick and tired of getting attacked in a home she can’t leave, so she hires Xavier Johnson (Terrell Carter), a dark and mysterious security guard who is also searching for his missing sister. Do they fall for one another? Do I even need to ask?

Look, I realize these Tubi movies aren’t great, but they’re something I look forward to. This is pretty much by the numbers, but sometimes that’s all you need.

You can watch this on Tubi.

GET FORMAL AT THE DRIVE-IN ASYLUM LATE NIGHT MOVIE

This week on the Drive-In Asylum Late Night Movie, we’re starting on Saturday at 11 PM EST on the Groovy Doom Facebook and YouTube pages. Get ready — Satan’s Black Wedding is scuzzy Satanic filth and perfect for a late night movie with an entire chat room of movie lovers. You can watch it on YouTube.

Every week, we watch and discuss a movie, talk about the ad campaign and share a drink recipe. Here’s what to enjoy during this matrimonial trip down the left hand path.

Fall Not White Wedding 

  • 4 oz. apple cider
  • 2 oz. salted caramel whiskey
  • 2 oz. ginger ale
  • .5 oz. Fireball
  1. Pour cider, salted caramel whiskey and fireball into a glass filled with crushed ice.
  2. Top with ginger ale and say you love, well, you know who.

SLASHER MONTH: Puppet Master: Axis of Evil (2010)

This isn’t a sequel but an entirely new reality for the puppets, with Danny Coogan (Levi Fiehler) as the new Puppet Master after the death of André Toulon (William Hickey in footage from other films in the series). Directed by David DeCoteau and written by Charles Band and August White, this movie has Danny and his girlfriend Beth (Jenna Gallaher) battling Nazi saboteurs in America with the help of Blade, Pinhead, Leech Woman, Jester, Tunneler, Six-Shooter, Shredder Khan, Gengie and a new puppet named Ninja.

Their main enemy is a Japanese spy named Ozu (Ada Chao) and this leads into an entire trilogy of World War II movies. She was originally intended to be Fu Manchu, but DeCoteau wanted her to be a dragon lady. This was shot in China, along with Killjoy 3, in one of those deals where Full Moon must have gotten some kind of kickback.

I’ve had the same problem since I was a kid watching Japanese monster movies. I don’t care about the humans. For these movies, I come to watch puppets kill people. There’s no part of me that wants to watch people being people. I want to watch Blade cut their throats. I am a very simple man and come to Puppet Master movies for puppet on human violence.