Crocodile 2: Death Swamp (2002)

Flat Dog survived, her egg hatched, some criminals have crash landed in her swamp and Tobe Hooper is long gone. I guess, umm…Martin Kove is in it? Is that reason enough to watch it?

Gary Jones, who made Escape from Death Block 13 and Boogeyman 3, directed this film and it’s fine in a SyFy kind of movie way. Jace Anderson, who wrote it, was also on scripted duties for Mortuary (the 2005 Tobe Hooper one), the remake of Night of the Demons, the remake of Toolbox Murders (also Tobe Hooper) and Mother of Tears, sometimes teaming with co-writer Adam Gierasch. You know who else scripted this? Boaz Davison. Yes, the man who made Lemon Popsicle and The Last American Virgin.

How they never made a third one is a miracle to me.

You can watch this on Tubi.

Chattanooga Film Festival: True Believer (2022)

ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Joseph Perry writes for the film websites Gruesome Magazine, The Scariest Things, Horror Fuel and Diabolique Magazine; for the film magazines Phantom of the Movies’ VideoScope and Drive-In Asylum; and for the pop culture websites When It Was Cool and Uphill Both Ways. He is also one of the hosts of When It Was Cool’s exclusive Uphill Both Ways podcast and can occasionally be heard as a cohost on Gruesome Magazine’s Decades of Horror: The Classic Era podcast.

Writer/director Alana Purcell’s debut feature True Believer brings the term “quirky indie comedy” to another level, in a decidedly good way. This tale of a fractured family and the supposedly supernatural property that two of them inherit is charming and, ultimately, brimming with positivity.

Rainbow (Ferelith Young) is her younger brother Paul’s (Vincent Jefferds) keeper. The two of them were in a car crash when they were kids. Rainbow suffered a major arm injury while Paul was in a coma for quite a while. Estranged from their mother, who caused the accidents, the now-adult siblings are simply trying to keep their heads above water when they find out that they have inherited their father’s rural property, said to have certain mystical qualities that draw some people to it for its alleged powers and others for its possible profit. Robyn (Adrienne Duncan) lived on the property and knew their father well, as she was one of his followers. Yes, Rainbow and Paul have much to learn about their dad and his land.

Young is terrific in her starring role, investing her character with a magnetic blend of pessimism and survival-mode verve. Jefferds nails his role as well; he plays the imaginative brother impressively in a role that could easily fall into schmaltz or corniness if overdone. Duncan leads a fun, rather sizable supporting cast.

Rather than sending up New Age beliefs or wringing family drama tropes for all that they are worth, Purcell avoids such low-hanging fruit and instead embraces alternative beliefs, emotional familial scars, and taking chances on new leases in life in a breezy, humorous manner. The result is a fun film that should leave viewers smiling. 

True Believer screens as part of Chattanooga Film Festival, which takes place online June 23–28, 2022. For more information, visit https://www.chattfilmfest.org/.

Crocodile (2000)

Brady (Mark McLachlan), Claire (Caitlin Martin), Duncan (Chris Solari), Kit (D. W. Reiser), Annabelle (Julie Mintz) and her dog Princess, Sunny (Summer Knight), Foster (Rhett Jordan) and Hubs (Greg Wayne) are on spring break in a nice big rich kid boat and as they have a bonfire, Kit tells about a hotel owner named Harlan who had a crocodile named Flat Dog at his hotel. One wonders if it was the Starlite Motel and if it was a better Tobe Hooper crocodile movie.

Harlan thought that Flat Dog was the avatar of the ancient Egyptian crocodile god Sobek, so he set up a cult that worshipped his crocodile and then the town set his hotel on fire and chased him out, but just as this story finishes, Flat Dog appears and kills two fishermen.

Hooper said of this movie, “It’s the 25th anniversary of the first Chain Saw, and I really wanted to create an atmosphere that will wind you up like that.” This quote makes me really depressed.

This was made when CGI was new and everyone was convinced it was great and now everything looks like a rack toy of an alligator being given stop motion life except that would be awesome. Sadly, there’s a sequel. Double sadness: I will watch it.

You can watch this on Tubi.

Junesploitation 2022: Rawhead Rex (1986)

June 28: Junesploitation’s topic of the day — as suggested by F This Movie— is 80s horror! We’re excited to tackle a different genre every day, so check back and see what’s next.

Clive Barker writes some of the smartest horror there is, so when his first two movies — this and Transmutations — ended up being rubber monster suit movies, there’s some humor in there. That said, he wasn’t completely upset with this and also understood its limitations: “I think, generally speaking, the movie followed the beats of the screenplay. It’s just that monster movies, by and large, are made by directorial oomph rather than what’s in the screenplay. I’d like to think the screenplay for Rawhead Rex had the possibility of having major thrills in it. I don’t think it was quite pulled off.”

Rawhead Rex was a pagan deity that existed before Christianity, making this folk horror, as well as the kind of movie where a priest gets baptized by a giant monster pisses all over him and don’t we need more of these kinds of movies?

I mean, can you imagine if Barker got his way and Rawhead Rex looked like a giant penis and a face made from raw meat?

You can watch this on Tubi.

Chattanooga Film Festival: Three Ways to Dine Well (2022)

Written, produced and directed by Alison Peirse, an Associate Professor of Film at the University of Leeds who “is drawn to the untold stories of women working in film, both in front of and behind the camera,” Three Ways to Dine Well is the kind of horror documentary we need more of. It’s not concerned with celebrities telling us things like, “Well, that was the best sequel” and instead getting at the bloody heart, brains and soul of those behind the lens and on the screen with a meal before them.

Her director’s statement says “I had three aims for this film. First, I wanted the audience to discover that women worked in major creative roles on horror classics including The Shining, The Evil Dead and Rosemary’s Baby. Second, I wanted to illuminate little known horror films helmed by women, such as Nettie Peña’s Home Sweet Home, Tracey Moffatt’s Bedevil and Jackie Kong’s Blood Diner. Third, I wanted to showcase the work of the women filmmakers who are now — finally — being written about in horror scholarship: Daria Nicolodi, Mary Lambert, Karen Arthur, Stephanie Rothman (and many more).”

The inspiration behind this documentary came from a lecture that Virginia Woolf gave at Cambridge University on the subject of women and fiction and the author’s summation that “a good dinner is of great importance to good talk. One cannot think well, love well, sleep well, if one has not dined well.”

By exploring food causing trauma, women eating men and dining table horror scenes in more than seventy female-made horror films, this movie shows the horrific side of mastication alongside the fact that women have been represented behind the sinister lens of horror and it’s time more people knew that.

The films covered in this short documentary are:

Bakjwi/ThirstbeDevilBlaculaBlood DinerCat GirlChopping MallThe LureIn My SkinDark WatersDead AliveGinger SnapsRawHair WolfHappy Birthday to MeHausuHaxanHis House, Home Sweet HomeA Tale of Two SistersJennifer’s BodyJungle TrapThe Happiness of the KatakurisKuronekoKwaidanWolf Devil Woman, Les DiaboliquesEyes Without a FaceMeshes of the AfternoonMessiah of EvilMirror MirrorDearest SisterAuditionOffice KillerPeeping TomPersonaPet SemataryRavenousRosemary’s BabySaint MaudSavita Damodar ParanjpeSe7enSightseersSleepaway CampSuicide by SunlightSuspiriaTESTEmentThe BirdsThe Boogeyman, “The Box” chapter in XXThe Company of Wolves, The Evil Dead, The FacultyThe FogThe HowlingThe ItchingThe LighthouseThe Lost BoysThe Mafu CageThe NightThe People Under the Stairs, The ShiningThe Spiral StaircaseThe Texas Chainsaw MassacreThe Thirteenth GuestThe Undying MonsterThe Vampire’s GhostThe Velvet VampireTower of TerrorUsThe White ReindeerVampyrWolf’s Hole and Weird Woman.

You can check out all of the films on this list on the Letterboxd list I made to track them, as this movie did what all great film documentaries should: make me watch more movies.

Want to learn more about Alison Peirse? Visit her official site.

You can watch the films of the Chattanooga Film Festiva for half price now until Wednesday. Get your badge right here

Chattanooga Film Festival: Voyeur(s) (2021)

Voyeur (s) is the story of a man who turns his hotel into a laboratory for his own twisted fantasies, watching others play out what once existed only in his mind.

I mean, all I had to do was read this write-up to know this was something I was going to watch: “A motel, its owner, a woman who no longer blinks, bizarre customers, going back and forth from room to room, a woman with pink, black, blonde hair. A dealer, sunken eyes, a murder, an aquarium, dolls, a cop, a model, a TV.”

Trust me, the whole thing makes even less sense, a barrage of images, one of which I can remember is a nude woman holding a gigantic pig head over herself. What’s it all about? I’m probably going to watch it a few more — maybe ten — times to figure that out.

Co-directors and writers Arthur Delaire and Edouard de Luze have made something covered in red tones that feels like something Jess Franco would have either liked or been jealous of because he never got a budget like this, no matter how small it is.

The fact that they claim it’s based on a true story is just the strange tasting frosting on this very curious cake.

You can watch the films of the Chattanooga Film Festiva for half price now until Wednesday. Get your badge right here.

Chattanooga Film Festival: Vierailijat (2021)

Haruka, Nana,and Takanori haven’t heard from their band member Souta for some time. Souta’s been busy. And weird. And has a mouth full of, well, cockroaches.

The girls walk in to a newspaper-windowed apartment and as Sota offers them tea, one of them steps into green muck and goes full Regan.

Directed and written by Kenichi Ugana, Visitors is filled with small moments of fright and huge moments of gore. Yes, a chainsaw gets involved. Yes, it invokes Evil Dead. Yes, it’s pretty great. It really goes for it with the gore and pairs nicely with another film I saw at Chattanooga, PussyCake, another story of a band being destroyed by possession, bile and gore.

Ugana also made Ganguro Gals Riot (a movie that explores the Ganguro — blackface — fashion subculture), Extraneous Matter Complete Edition (a movie that explores the creatures of tentacle hentai in a more human way) and Wild Virgins (in which a virgin man turns thirty and becomes a witch).

As Danzig sang back in Samhain, “A kick in the head, a gouged out eye, your intestines explode and your eyeballs pop and the taste of your blood will drive me on. You see I get what I want, and I want when you bleed. ‘Cause the things I can cause have the seal of the dead in humanity’s fading glow. All murder, all guts, all fun!”

Visitors lives the fuck up to that.

You can watch the films of the Chattanooga Film Festiva for half price now until Wednesday. Get your badge right here.

Chattanooga Film Festival: Red is the Color of Beauty (2021)

It’s a retail employee’s nightmare: two women want the same necklace at closing time and no one is taking no for an answer. Jennifer (Stella Baker) and Cheryl (Grace Rex) see the neon hue in the center of that simple jewel and it becomes about more than just a fashion statement.

Short, sweet, simple and well made by director and writer Beck Kitsis (whose The Three Men You Meet at Night also starred Baker), this will make you stay out of the mall — if it’s even still open around you — and just stick to online shopping, which seems so much safer.

You can watch the films of the Chattanooga Film Festiva for half price now until Wednesday. Get your badge right here.

Chattanooga Film Festival: Inch Thick, Knee Deep (2021)

Quinn (Anatasha Blakely, who also directed and wrote this short) is a daydreamer set adrift after losing her soullmate Max (Jacob Sorling).

Adrienne (Whitney Morgan Cox) is the woman who may have caught his eye.

There’s no way these two are going to get along, right?

This may start with mannered conversation but stay with it. It looks great and both Blakely and Cox have the opportunity to really dig into their roles. The camera stays with them and the conclusion of their words, as they spiral out of control, finds the camera locked on what we can see of the aftermath. You may never boil a pot of tea the same way again.

You can watch the films of the Chattanooga Film Festiva for half price now until Wednesday. Get your badge right here.

Chattanooga Film Festival: The Angst (2020)

Colin (Bernard David Jones) is being chased throughout the night by something invisible, something terrifying, something that won’t stop. The more that he runs, the more that he learns that confronting his greatest fear may mean confronting himself. Or maybe that really is some kind of demon behind him.

Director L. Gustavo Cooper started as a pro skater, moved into making skate videos and then advertising before making films. He was the second unit director on one of my favorite modern horror movies, Sinister 2, and also directed June, The Devil Incarnate and the upcoming Crawlspace. He also co-wrote the script to this short with Ben Powell.

It’s more a quick peek into a world, but there’s still plenty of talent on display.

You can watch the films of the Chattanooga Film Festiva for half price now until Wednesday. Get your badge right here.