I could write an essay on legendary Japanese actor/director Takeshi “Beat” Takano’s new samurai epic Kubi — in which he, yes, stars and directs — but instead let me tell you succinctly that this film rules!
The cast of characters equals, if not exceeds, those of many of Shakespeare’s plays, and although subtitles helpfully call out the names and positions of characters — rivaling in speed and number those shown in Shin Godzilla of government officials — memorizing who’s who is not a requirement here, because you’ll be too enthralled with the majesty on display to feel confused. Kitano doesn’t skimp on the violence and gore, and believe me, there’s plenty of it, what with all of the double-dealing, double-crossing, intrigue, playing for position, toying with affections, and so on. Takeshi Hamada’s cinematography is absolutely gorgeous, capturing the drama in all of its blood-splattered glory, with beautiful sets and landscapes, to boot.
The plot concerns a battle for feudal power in 16th century Japan, when the evil Lord Nobunaga (Ryo Kase) — you’ll hate him right off the bat, and things only get worse when he is involved — is due for an overthrow. One of his lords, Murashige (Kenichi Endo), fails in an attempted rebellion and escapes. Nobunaga promises his other lords, including Hideyoshi (Kitano) and Mitsuhide (Hidetoshi Nishijima), that whoever brings Murashige to him alive will be the successor to the throne. There are loads of subplots, but I’ll save those for first-time viewers to discover.
If you love samurai epics, Kitano’s marvelously helmed, wonderfully acted, beautifully lensed and scored, and shockingly violent Kubi is must-see viewing. If you love first-rate cinema, you should also consider this a requirement. Kubi has absolutely secured a spot on my list of top favorite films of 2024.
Join CFF as we take a journey into the longer side of short cinema. One of the many joys of presenting our festival in a hybrid format is that it allows us to include so many amazing films that our time limitations during our in-person days wouldn’t allow, and it also gives us the freedom to program more short work with running times 15 minutes and above. It can be challenging for festivals to make longer short films work when space in blocks is limited, and we’re grateful that our two-volume Fun Size Epics block gives us a chance to share an exceptional group of films that pack more world-building and storytelling in their run times than some features can manage.
Dark Mommy (2023): Based on an episode of the Please Leave podcast, this is all about Ben, the only night shift 911 operator in his small town, which mainly means that he deals with prank callers and drunks. However, this is the night that Dark Mommy has arrived and has plans for everyone in town. It all starts with a frightening phone call and gets even more intense.
Directed by Courtney Eck, who wrote this film with James Gannon, this looks stellar. My main issue was the end, as it seems like it jumps from the night of the Dark Mommy rising and then jumps right to the aftermath. It moves so quickly that I had to go back a few times as I was sure I missed something.
Madame Hattori’s Izakaya (2022): Directed and written by Shanna Fujii, this thriller is about a chef and those who are permitted to attend her very private dinners. Shot in Arizona, this film was a collaboration between restaurants, chefs, filmmakers and the Asian community. Featuring food made by chefs Nobuo Fukuda, Paulo Im, Justin Park, Kevin Rosales and Tyka Chheng and shot at Nanaya Japanese Kitchen, this also has nails from Slain Studios and was sponsored by Sapporo and Crescent Crown Distributing.
Fujii had over thirty artists all collaborating on this film and all of the info above wouldn’t mean much if it wasn’t so interesting. And it is. It answers an intriguing question: How can a chef become so well known when she has never eaten food in her life?
The Garden of Edette (2023): In this Creole Southern gothic, Edette (Gwendolyn Fuller Mukes) may be an elderly woman, but she will live forever as long she keeps luring in victims for her flesh-eating garden. Her next victim will be a young girl named Perri (Mandysa Brock), except that Edette finds herself growing closer to her, feeling a kinship. Now, she must choose between betraying her friend and dying alongside her garden. Directed by Guinevere Fey Thomas, who wrote it with Chiara Campelli and Melisande McLaughlin, this looks incredible and tells a unique story that you don’t find all that often in horror. You can learn more at the official site.
Eyes Like Yours (2023): A hospice nurse remembers her long dead mother when she sees the eyes of one of her patients. She becomes devoted to the patient and starts to use her to recreate her mother, at least in her own mind. Directed and written by Gabrielle Chapman, this has excellent acting by Penelope Grover as Dawn, Lex Helgerson as Alison, Lynnsey Lewis as Isla and Ashlee Weber as the idealized version of the mother that the film keeps returning to. So many of the films that I watched this week at CFF dealt with the loss of a parent or trying to recapture their love. Each went in their own direction and this one has an intriguing physical direction.
Volition (2023): After getting kidnapped and taken to a sex trafficking house, Emma (writer Emily James) brings together all the victims of the house, as well as past people who lives have been harmed, to create an escape plan and get revenge. Directed by Ashley George, this film’s villain Christoph (Zachary Grant) is the kind of horrible human being that you can’t wait to see get what they deserve. Good news. This is a short so you don’t have to wait long. For the budget and the running time, this pulls off tension and action well.
INKED (2023): Directed and written by Kelsey Bollig — who also made another short I enjoyed, Kickstart My Heart — INKED is about Dylan (Kaikane, Night of the Bastard), whose father has just died in prison. His friends were angry that she didn’t have a priest at the funeral, but from what she knew of him, she figured he wouldn’t want that. Instead. she honors him with a new tattoo from her friend Bruno (Chris Cortez) using his ashes. Yet that ink sears into her skin, keeping her awake at night and asleep during the day, bathing her dreams in violent red hues and letting something evil loose. The end of this comes suddenly, but I loved this short and it would make for an even better long form feature.
Floater (2023): When their abusive father (Jeffrey Nordling) dies in the bathroom, Phillip (Jacob Wysocki) and Melanie (Darcy Rose Byrnes) both deal with the loss in very different ways. While his sister and mother (Christine Elliott) do their best to deal with their grief, he preserves the last thing that he has of his father, his last bowel movement which is able to speak to him, telling him that he wants to fix things. Phillip locks himself into the bathroom and refuses to allow anyone else in. The first project by director and writer D.M. Harring, this may have some disgusting moments, but its heart understands the pain of grief.
You’ll probably never see another movie where a son builds a memorial to his father and creates a doll out of his feces. That may not sound like a strong review, but it is. This has real emotion inside every second.
Mort (2023): A mortician named Mr. Underwood (Andy Farmer) and his timid new assistant Lane (Josh Bernstein) have to stop the Lancasters, a family that nearly everyone hates and for good reason, from freaking out when their patriarch Mort (Les Lannom) becomes a zombie and walks away. From Pastor Tim (T Brown) farting in people’s faces to the way the entire family behaves, this feels like my hometown. Except for the zombies, but I did grow up next to Evans City Cemetery where Barbara had them coming to get her. Directed and written by Charlie Queen, this is a fun take on the zombie film. Mort even knows how to do the neck bite from Dawn of the Dead.
Up On the Housetop (2023): The Holloway kids — Olivia (Kayla Anderson), Dylan (Samantha Holland), Donnie (Michael Fischer) and Todd (Dakota Millett) — weren’t looking forward to the holidays after the death of their parents. They’re going to hate the season even more now because — spoiler warning — they accidentally murder Santa Claus on Christmas Eve, thinking that he’s a robber. Now, they’re going to be lucky if they survive this Silent Night with deadly reindeer demanding revenge.
Directed by Dakota Millett and Michael Fischer, who wrote it with Laura Herring, this really does have it all. By all, I mean killer reindeer POV camera, baseball bats covered with holiday lights, a Mario Bava-esque image of a roof filled with reindeer and…this really needs to be a full length film. I don’t think I can ask Santa for that.
Robbie Ain’t Right No More (2023): Sarah (Madeleine McGraw, The Black Phone) used to be close to her brother Robbie (Jadon Cal, Last of the Grads). Over dinner and dealing with the loudmouth Andy (Walker Trull), he reveals the scars all over his body from warfare. What no one can see are the scars that exist in his psyche.
Directed and written by Kyle Perritt, who served as a Marine, this soon has the family discussing what’s wrong with Robbie, from his father Vernon (Jason Davis) saying that his son isn’t right no more and his mother Peggy (Emily Deal) feels useless. As for Robbie, he tells his sister that he feels like someone else is driving him now.
This feels like Deathdream and The Guest, which are high compliments. While this short seems to tell the complete story, this has enough power to be its own full-length film. Perritt has plenty of talent and I can’t wait to see what’s next.
I did see some reviews of this that criticized the short for starting in the middle of the story and not explaining what Robbie was like before. To me, that’s what’s thrilling here. We’re thrust in the middle of the story and must figure it out just as Sarah must.
Good Girls Get Fed (2023): Rose (Kelly Lou Dennis), Daffodil (Kayla Klein) and Iris (Paula Velasquez) are trapped inside a windowless room, given silent commands that are written on a wall. If they answer these challenges, they get the food that they need to survive.
The time in captivity may feel like it’s driven them against one another, but they know that if they work together, they can escape. Yet is there something even worse waiting?
Directed by Kelly Lou Dennis, who wrote this short with Kayla Klein and Sarah Rebottaro, this finds whoever is giving the commands to often just be fixated on the male gaze. At other times, it is using what the women have the most trauma with and playing it against them. Even how they’re dressed is a man’s fantasy.
I don’t want to spoil this but the end is total nihilism. Wow.
Lost Boys Pizza (2023): On Halloween, two theater kids head off to dance. As you can tell by the title, they find vampires there. One, a turned enemy from high school distracted with a bloody tampon and then Dracula himself on the dance floor. Directed by Cassie Llanas and written by Tatjana Vujovic, this looks beautiful and would probably be a ton of fun to watch with an audience. As it was, I can only dance so much in my living room before the neighbors start to notice.
The Kindness of Strangers (2023): Stacy (Nell Nakkan) and Anna (Angela Jaymes) are out driving around on a night back home from college. A woman (Tammie Baird) seems to be in shock and they agreed to take her to a hospital. Yet there’s something horribly wrong with her that will change this night for both of them. It’ll also make you question if there is such a thing as a helpful person. Directed by Stu Silverman, who wrote this short with Kathryn Douglas, this is a mean movie that refuses to protect its characters. Well worth watching.
Vespa (2023): When Luiza comes to visit her mother Celia at her new home, something immediately seems off. Could it be V, the new caretaker, the woman who Celia now believes is her daughter? Does it upset Luiza that her mother has always been so cold to her and yet now is so loving to a stranger? Or could V be quite literally be planting seeds that will keep Luiza trapped at home forever and always under loving care that she never wanted? Directed and written by Olívia Ramos, this was an intriguing watch with gorgeous tones and visuals.
The Lonely Portrait (2023): This is a perfect short. An AirBnB guest (Andrew Weir, who wrote the script with director Marc Marashi) guest finds a blank spot on the wall that he soon fills with a strange painting. Every time he steps away, that portrait changes and begins to take things from our world. It’s a gorgeous creation, as it’s a digital painting that was motion tracked into each scene. This is filled with some incredible angles, including one inside the world of the painting. You know where it’s going each step of the way yet when it gets there, it’s so well made that you’ll want to cheer. A triumph.
Carnivora (2024): Ana (Gigi Zumbado) comes home to take care of her grandmother Yaya (Julia Vera), along with Maribel (Carmela Zumbado), who never leaves home and is her caregiver. This leads to the natural argument over Ana being a prodigal sibling or Mari being a martyr for remaining. Their mother has disappeared and no one knows what happened. And that’s because — spoiler warning — Yaya eats people whole and keeps them alive inside her. I feel this movie more than I would like to admit and director Felipe Vargas has created an amazing way to reflect what it’s like to watch a loved one disappear.
Too Slow (2023): An insecure man has fallen for the oldest trick in the book: up high, down low, too slow. This sends him off the deep end, obsessed with getting an apology. Instead, he gets fooled again with the stain on your shirt scam. That’s too much. Now, he loses everything he had and starts becoming the man he hates, buying a Tesla, wearing a wool suit and acting like a complete cryptobro. Everything comes to a head at a birthday party and blood will be spilled. Danielle McRae Spisso and Stephen Vanderpool have crafted something amazing here, a story that we may have all lived yet in a place that goes further than we expect.
You can watch so many of the films at CFF by buying a pass on their website. I’ll be be posting reviews and articles over the next few days, as well as updating my Letterboxd list of watches.
Marissa (Bridget Regan) and Eve (Joanne Kelly) have seemingly been pitted against one another since they were born. Their father, Raymond Hale (Samuel Roukin), was an oppressive collector of art who felt that his life of privilege kept him from his true calling of being an artist. He sword that his daughters would be guided to becoming the best artists who ever lived. To do that, Hale taught them that their pain would guide them to become better at their craft, despite the damage that it would do to their psyches. Marissa became a cold, unfeeling art scenester, using her sister’s art to gain entry into a world that she doesn’t have the talent to survive in. Eve has regressed inward, spending as much of her time as possible inside the family’s crumbling home, the same place where she found her father dead from suicide.
Their relationship is best summed up by a flashback where both paint in front of a waterfall. Their father yells at Marissa, complaining about how she doesn’t seem to care. He then forces Eve to burn her sister’s canvas, intonning, “The seed of creativity is adversity.”
Eve became a prodigy and was known in the art world before puberty.
Marissa was always jealous of her.
And if this seems like an art world version of Whatever Happened to Baby Jane?, the filmmakers should take it as a supreme compliment.
Years later, the sisters come back together as Marissa learns that Eve plans to donate the priceless art that her father owned to a local gallery. It just so happens to belong to the fiancee of the girl’s childhood friend Cormack (Alain Uy), who has also remained in their hometown. Instead of becoming a great painter, he’s content to take care of Eve from afar and have a tattoo shop.
Appearances are reality for many in this film. Marissa is as much a mess as Eve, but she never admits it. Eve may appear like she’s hanging on to life by her fingernails, yet she can feel joy at the opportunity to reconnect with her sister.
Director and writer team Melora Donoghue and Kimberly Stuckwisch have created an entire world populated by characters who live and breathe. Marissa blows into town, seemingly always one step ahead of her sister. Yet Eve, while innocent, is not without guile. I rooted for her in this.
This is quite a movie. I hope it gets the kind of distribution where so many people can watch it.
You can watch this and so many of the films at CFF by buying a pass on their website. I’ll be posting reviews and articles over the next few days, as well as updating my Letterboxd list of watches.
Directed and written by Ludvig Gür, Gudstjänst — which is being released in the U.S. as In the Name of God — is about Theodor (Linus Walhgren), a priest who is often the only person at his masses. The worshippers are dying off and his wife Felicia (Lisa Henni) wonders if they should move on. He’s happy that his mentor Jonas (Thomas Hanzon) has come to town. The problem is that it seems like he may be deranged. After all, he just killed a dove right in front of him and sprayed him with hot blood.
Yet when Felicia collapses and is soon hospitalized, dying from a mysterious ailment, Jonas offers to save her if Theodor follows him just as he did by going into the priesthood. Now, he must accept the true priesthood of God and kill sinners to save his wife’s life.
Jonas has already captured a rapist and all the younger man has to do is snuff out his sinful life. He does. His wife is healed. He becomes known as a faith healer and people come back to the church. His wife is with child. God has a plan.
Yet to make the prayers of his new followers come true, he must keep killing. Because the God who has listened to Theodor is the Old Testament one, the vengeful demander of sacrifice, the God that asked Abraham to murder his own son just to see how far he would go.
This is the very definition of a moral quandary. Isn’t murder a sin? Yet aren’t the people who Theodor is hunting and destroying evil incarnate? Isn’t all this murder making the world a better place? And if he can make miracles happen at the same time, isn’t that God’s will? Can you become addicted to creating magic happen in the lives of those who follow your teachings?
You can watch this and so many of the films at CFF by buying a pass on their website. I’ll be posting reviews and articles over the next few days, as well as updating my Letterboxd list of watches.
In this movie directed and written by its stars, Gavin Charles and Alex Conn, two filmmakers explore a dead mall yet find themselves trapped within its environment, as the hallways, stairwells and abandoned stores start to trap them.
Made in Kansas City on nearly no budget — $37 or so IMDB would like you to believe — this is a liminal horror movie. That means that it takes place “in a space between two states of being.” This is a big YouTube horror trend and before every Hollywood movie starts to run it into the ground, Charles and Conn are here first.
Hollywood pitch meeting shorthand: Think Skinamarink.
The duo keep yelling, “This is another liminal space!” as they find all these backrooms and the Lunch Zone inside what was once a place of capitalism. Now, it’s a husk. This feels like the next level of found footage and taking streaming video into the horror film.
So wait — for the old people like me — what are The Backrooms?
According to Wikipedia, they “are usually portrayed as an impossibly large extradimensional expanse of empty rooms, accessed by exiting (“no-clipping out of”) reality.” They’re also quite often filled with sinister beings.
In 2019, a 4chan thread posted a “photograph of a large, carpeted room with fluorescent lights and dividing walls.” It upset people and no one could quite figure out why. One anonymous poster was able to sum it up and some of their words came to be the title of this movie: “If you’re not careful and you noclip out of reality in the wrong areas, you’ll end up in the Backrooms, where it’s nothing but the stink of old moist carpet, the madness of mono-yellow, the endless background noise of fluorescent lights at maximum hum-buzz, and approximately six hundred million square miles of randomly segmented empty rooms to be trapped in God save you if you hear something wandering around nearby, because it sure as hell has heard you.”
A24 announced that they are working on a film adaptation of the Backrooms based on Kane Parsons’ videos, with Parsons directing. Roberto Patino is set to write the screenplay, while James Wan, Michael Clear from Atomic Monster, Shawn Levy, Dan Cohen, and Dan Levine of 21 Laps are set to produce.
So again, it’s nice that these guys got there first.
Much like the aforementioned Skinamarink, nothing much happens. But that’s sort of the aesthetic, I guess. Again, I’m ancient and I remember when found footage was Cannibal Holocaust and not The Blair Witch. I feel about this the way I do about pop music: I am almost forty years past when that music should be relevant for me. For those who it is for, I hope they love it.
You can watch this and so many of the films at CFF by buying a pass on their website. I’ll be posting reviews and articles over the next few days, as well as updating my Letterboxd list of watches.
“The last surviving 728,000 copies of Blind Cop 1 were censored by the U.S. government. Each individual one was burned and buried in the Syracuse salt mines.”
After saving the city in the last movie, Blind Cop (George Fearing) is mourning the loss of his partner Mac (Steven Vogel). He knows that all sorts of military weapons are ending up in the hands of street gangs, but he only knows how to do things his way. His way means killing everything in his path. Yes, despite being blind, Blind Cop has powers beyond what we can imagine. He can fight anything. He can drive a car. He can get blind drunk and still not see. Blind Cop is the hero of the city, even if the city doesn’t understand and kicks him off the force.
Schmidty (Isaac McKinnon) is one of the few people who believes in him. He rescues him from literally getting pissed on by some goons and nurses him back to health. This involves giving Blind Cop his car and a place to sleep it off.
Blind Cop may also be related to Manny Cobretti with dialogue like this:
“You can’t just go around killing people, Blind Cop.” says the police chief.
“They’re not people, Chief. They’re criminals.” snarls Blind Cop.
This film has Blind Cop dispensing brutal justice to perps like Max Froglips, Frank the Male Hooker, Titan, Ulrich Von Kunst and no small amount of nameless and soon to be deceased henchmen. You know how Revenge of the Ninja has Don Shanks as a Native American bad guy in the middle of a gang that has more diversity as the Village People? Yeah, this has that. It feels like when you’d play a Double Dragon clone like Bad Dudes and I mean that as the highest compliment that I can give. It’s hard to make a movie that’s like something Cannon would put out and have the parody not be so dumb or in the way of the action. Somehow, Blind Cop 2 pulls it off.
Director Alec Bonk wrote this along with McKinnon and Augustin Huffman. They must have watched as many movies that were left in the action section of their local video store on a Saturday night as I did. That Vietnam flashback feels earned, baby.
You can watch this and so many of the films at CFF by buying a pass on their website. I’ll be posting reviews and articles over the next few days, as well as updating my Letterboxd list of watches.
Are you looking to achieve higher states of consciousness using nothing but the raw ass power of cinema? Would your friends or family describe you as “the weird one?” We want you to know that we’re here for you. We’ve carefully constructed our WTF (Watch These Films?) and BRIDE OF WTF short film blocks with weirdos JUST LIKE YOU in mind. Our yearly salute to the stranger side of short cinema is in fine form this year, with a slate of shorts positively guaranteed to make mush of your mind, which feels REAL cool. WE KNOW. We’ve seen them. Also, we aren’t telling you to go out and hot box your car before you watch these films, but we also aren’t telling you to NOT hot box your car before you watch these films!
Krampuss (2023): Known as Þið kannist við… (You Know…) in its native Iceland, this Guðni Líndal Benediktsson directed (with a script co-written with Ævar Þór Benediktsson) has a holiday tradition I’ve never heard of before. The Yule Cat, which eats people who don’t get clothes as Christmas gifts.
I’m amazed because this is a real thing. Jólakötturinn is “a huge and vicious cat from Icelandic Christmas folklore that is said to lurk in the snowy countryside during the Christmas season and eat people who do not receive new clothing before Christmas Eve.”
The Yule Cat was often used by landowners as a threat to their field workers to finish collecting wool before autumn was over. Those who didn’t work hard enough were made to fear this holiday beast.
This short looks gorgeous and has a really great effect for the cat. When else will you see a horrifying Christmas kitten?
A.A. (2024): Directed by Auden Bui, this has a very simple idea: There’s more to A.A. than alcoholics anonymous. Bui has some great talent in this — Anna Akana, Malcolm Barrett, Ryan Decker, Sage Porter, Brandon Potter, Bobby Reed and Uttera Singh — who lean way hard into their roles. Can you imagine going out for an open casting call and getting the role of “Member of Asseaters Anonymous” much less have to say dialogue like, “There I am with four dingleberries in my face?” Acting is a rough business. That said, this is a short worth being proud of, a basic story told well and even a little twist at the end.
Disciple (2024): Made as a student film while director and writer Boston Enderle was at Western Kentucky University, this is a bold and well-made film about Isaac (Coltyn Parks), an abused preacher’s (Greg Brandenburg) son. When he doesn’t pay enough attention to his father’s teachings, he’s forced to pray while slicing stigmata — the wounds of Christ — into his hands. Then, he has a meeting with the Verdant God (Trinity Graves), an ancient being, and finds that he can finally escape the brutality that he and his family have lived with for their entire lives. A truly interesting idea that is treated with the care that it deserves, I’d love to see a longer and deeper take on this.
A Visual Poem (2024): Directed by Benjamin Walant with original music by William Walant, this short is described as “surreal environments take center stage in this visual odyssey.” Benjamin works as a digital matte painter and concept artist in the VFX industry. He says, “As a professional digital matte painter (DMP artist), I wanted to harness my extensive VFX experience to push what can be done with this age-old technique; transforming what is usually the backdrop to center stage.”
I would compare this to Koyaanisqatsi, which is meant as a big compliment. I really felt the energy in this and was soothed, challenged and inspired by it.
All Is Lost (2024): Todo está perdido is the tale of the Pérez family. They may seem normal, but so much of this short is about them fertilizing an egg that the laid of the house has just laid. Directed by Carla Pereira Docampo and Juan Fran Jacinto, who wrote the script with Paco Alcázar, this looks like nothing else, a puppet-style presentation with artwork that as much retro as it is unfamiliar. The colors are so gorgeous and vivid as well. I can’t even imagine how long this took to make, because it feels so meticulous. Yet it is open and airy, filled with a light comedy touch. This is something else.
Catacombs (2024): I love the slasher Prison. More horror movies should be set in correctional facilities and Catacombs is a strong entry in this unexplored genre. As a thunderstorm is just outside the walls, a guard has to go deep into the sections of the old jailhouse, confronting the horrors that wait within. Director and writer Chad Cunningham really needs to expand this into a feature, as I’d love to see what he can do with a bigger budget and more time. Mike (Kenneth Trujillo) is faced with more than he ever expected and — again — I’d love to see how this buried part of this correctional facility affects the rest of the prison.
Burn Out (2024): Director and writer Russell Goldman says of this short, “Burn Out is a gonzo, high-octane horror story inspired by my post-concussive syndrome and all-consuming bosses. This short is about how we push ourselves in breakneck work environments and make disastrous compromises with our bodies and minds. Nothing is scarier (or more absurd) than what we can do to ourselves.”
Again, as in all the best shorts, it’s a simple tale told well. Virgil (Everett Osborne), an assistant, will do anything to get his presentation in front of Gower (Tommie Earl Jenkins), the big boss. In fact, he’ll even set himself on fire.
Produced by Jamie Lee Curtis and Film Independent, this has incredible effects and captures the way that I felt in my years of working in advertising when I was allowed to approach a boss and genuflect before their brilliance as they would take a moment to give me their great secrets. I learned nothing. But this movie brought that all back.
Adding another layer to the corporate madness in this, it was shot in the abandoned Quibi offices.
Don’t You Dare Film Me Now (2023): Director and writer Cade Featherstone is a British filmmaker and award-winning designer who worked as a graphic artist for films such as The Favourite and Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them. Now getting an MFA in narrative filmmaking at NYU, he’s made this short, which is advanced beyond his years.
A drone finds an elderly woman who is, at the start, angry that the machine is invading her privacy. By the end, they have strangely bonded, both close to the end of their charge, as it were. This made me sit back and take notice.
Fck’n Nuts (2023): Sandy (Maddie Nichols) may be 19, but she’s still a child. She still lives at home with her parents (William E. Harris and Michele Rossi) and every man she introduces them to leaves her. She’s in love with Dan Deakins (Vincent Stalba), who is kind and sweet and hey, he knows wine. He’s in love with her too, but that means that he has to meet the family. Things go as absolutely bad as they can, beyond embarrassment and into pus-oozing anaphylactic shock.
This movie has a look that lives up to its name. Director and writer Sam Fox has created something truly special here, a piece of art that takes what in lesser hands would be sophomoric and here aspires to masterpiece. Here I was worried meeting my far right wing in-laws for the first time. I had nothing to worry about. I mean, I’m still alive.
A must watch!
Hunky Dory (2024): The 4,320 drawings in the film were drawn by hand on index cards, colored with Copic markers and Prismacolor pencils. The entire short was made in two years of full time work and each drawing is unique with no computer animation.
The story “juxtaposes scenes of animal life with images of human existence, observing the quirky and unexpected ways in which we are similar.” The banjo music comes from Béla Fleck and his bandmates in My Bluegrass Heart. This has such a beautiful look and totally chilled me out. I’m going to save it to watch again for when things get edgy.
Ouchie (2024): Mona (La Daniella) has had a bad experience with a new lover named Grace (Sara Lynn). She can’t even feel better with the self help recordings that she uses to give herself confidence. As a side note, I use these as well and my wife always comes in to make fun of me while I’m just trying to get the ability to make it through the day.
Mona soon begins to see strange rashes on everyone, including herself. Are they real? Or is the problem inside her? Director Kyle Kuchta and writer Jeanette Wall are asking the roughest questions here, where we must try and realize that the scars that we carry aren’t as visible as the ones on display here with great FX. Instead, we all have them and must all come to understand ourselves. Such a great short!
Shadow (2024): Ahtna (Katy Wright-Mead) and her daughter Elise (Valentina Gordon as the younger child, Christy St. John as the grown up) are playing when things grow rough. The mother gives chase and her daughter slams her fingers inside a doorframe. Then, her shadow begins to chase Elise through the home, changing in shape, size and even appearance, looking like her mother sometimes and something frightening when you get closer.
There’s no dialogue to speak of, but there is a mother repeatedly banging her head into the kitchen floor, an everyday piece of fright mixed with the black and white starkness throughout. Director and writer Kamell Allaway is someone to watch.
The Crossing Over Express (2024): Hank (Luke Barnett, who directed and wrote this with Tanner Thomason) wants to speak with his mother one more time. This brings him to a white truck. In the back is Dr. Gale Gustberg (Dot-Marie Jones), who can help him get the closure he seeks.
If you were given this opportunity, what would you do? There are so many people I wish I could just have one more moment with, so I would probably find myself paying that money and wondering if I was being screwed over, just like this film’s hero. I know I say this quite often about shorts, but I’d love to see even more of this story and these characters.
Quiet! Mom’s Working! (2024): “What happens in mom’s basement, stays in mom’s basement.” Yes, why is Del (Shane Brady) strapped to a table? Why is mom (Ana Krista Johnson) threatening him with a phallic drill? Will the daughter (Jillian Shea Spaeder) stop fighting with her brother? And what will dad (Jim O’Heir) say when he gets home?
Patrick Hogan is known for his sound work (Fire Country, Cobra Kai) but this is a short that he directed and wrote. And it’s an absolute burst of fun, one filled with tough talk, angry mom faces and dildo nunchucks. You may see the ending coming, but when it’s done this well, does that matter?
You can watch so many of the films at CFF by buying a pass on their website. I’ll be be posting reviews and articles over the next few days, as well as updating my Letterboxd list of watches.
Are you looking to achieve higher states of consciousness using nothing but the raw ass power of cinema? Would your friends or family describe you as “the weird one?” We want you to know that we’re here for you. We’ve carefully constructed our WTF (Watch These Films?) and BRIDE OF WTF short film blocks with weirdos JUST LIKE YOU in mind. Our yearly salute to the stranger side of short cinema is in fine form this year, with a slate of shorts positively guaranteed to make mush of your mind, which feels REAL cool. WE KNOW. We’ve seen them. Also, we aren’t telling you to go out and hot box your car before you watch these films, but we also aren’t telling you to NOT hot box your car before you watch these films!
The Shadow Wrangler (2024): Nan (director and writer Grace Rex) is trying to narrate Western romance novels from the tiny closet of her New York City apartment. There really are paranormal erotic Western paperbacks called The Shadow Wranglers! And then, as she gets to the best part — you know, the throbbing manhood — construction starts happening in her building and her ex also shows up to try to talk.
This is an interesting take on a woman trying to deal with the end of her relationship, a miscarriage and how life seems to not always be figured out. The ending may not seem to completely come together for me, but I really enjoyed what I watched and the touches of humor amongst the darkness.
Two Women Make a Lunch Plan (2023): Two women (Eilise Patton and Jade Kaiser) who have neither seen nor heard from one another in quite some time run into each other and make a plan to get lunch sometime in the future. Directed by Elizabeth Archer and written by William Longsden, this is a quick burst of, well, what it feels like when you just want to escape a conversation or make plans and can’t figure out either.
MAKE ME A PIZZA (2023): A woman (Sophie Neff) is starving, so she orders a Meat Lover’s Pizza that she can’t pay for. Yet, in that old adult film cliche, perhaps there’s some other way she can pay the delivery man (Woody Coyote). Yet he explains that sex can’t be equated to currency and wonders what is the true value of pizza? How does her offer of a carnal evening of pure pleasure possibly pay for all of the many hands that have gone into the creation of these slices?
Then, they decide to become a pizza yet somehow create a pizza god that asks them to leave their flesh behind to become part of the pizza. Will this make them free? Probably.
Directed by Talia Shea Levin who wrote the script with Woody Coyote and Katie Peabody, this is one of the strangest shorts I’ve seen in some time and that’s a complete compliment. It gets the 80s VCA porn aesthetic — was there one? — while making me so hungry for a hot slice of pie. You know. Pizza.
Like Me (2024): Directed and written by Ashley Lauren Thomas, this is about a woman named catlady 5406 (also Thomas) trying to get noticed on social media. And also, cutting her bangs. After drinking. Even as a dumb guy, I know that this is the worst of ideas. I mean, I don’t think it usually goes as bad as it does in this short, but bangs should only be touched by a professional. This has a happy ending, though, as our heroine does finally get the social media interaction that she craved so much.
One Happy Customer (2023): Set in the red-light district of a world that’s created with foam latex practical effects, miniatures and animation layered together, this is the story of a veteran sex worker who tickles the feet of her customers, takes their money and launches them into space. It’s not exciting any more for her, but then she meets a customer who makes her look young and he wants something special. And he’s ready to blow her mind.
Directed, written and produced by WATTS, this has an absurd level of production design. It looks like every single inch of this short has been obsessed over and it’s worth it. This is a world that doesn’t exist anywhere but in this movie and for this small amount of time.
The Rainbow Bridge (2023): Tina (Tru Tran) takes her elderly dog MeeMoo (Fat Tony) to a clinic claiming to enable human-pet communication in the last moments before death. Then things get strange, because the two mad scientists — Dr. Bailey Picadilo (Heather Lawless) and Herb (James Urbaniak) — running the place learn that Tina and MeeMoo share an unusually strong bond that transcends time and space. They might just be the key to something great. But is the cost too much to pay?
Directed and written by Dimitri Simakis, this gets into how Tina and MeeMoo can create a world between our world and the one of our dead pets. This is what the scientists have been working on for thirty years. I loved that MeeMoo explained that he is just a chapter in Tina’s life, not that it makes losing a pet any easier.
The phone number for the Rainbow Bridge — 323-685-2626 — didn’t work. Ah, my plans to speak to my chihuahua Cubby will have to wait. I plan on him being alive forever.
Body (2023): Jake (Aaron G. Hale) and his girlfriend Dawn (Leila Annastasia Scott) have no idea where that dancing Frankenstein’s Monster decoration has come from. But Jake definitely saw it move and stare at him.
If you learn anything from this short, directed and written by Ronald Short, it’s if you find what seems like a cursed object in your house, you get rid of it right away. Have we learned nothing from every Amityville movie? Those dancing decorations have always upset me and this movie has proved to me that I have always been right to be afraid.
Cart Return (2023): “Your chances of being killed by a cart are extremely low. But never zero…” With those prophetic words, Cart Return, directed and written by Matt Webb, begins.
You can tell a lot about people by watching if they return a cart or not. Melanie (Whitney Adkins) is one of those people who just refuses to bring her’s back. This brings out of reality and right into a horror movie.
She’s also one of those people who talks on her phone the entire time she’s shopping, bringing everyone into her self-absorbed conversation. There are quite a few grocery parking lots where I’d love to see this short happen for real.
The Curse of the Velvet Vampire (2023): Two Chinese horror aficionados meet in a cult video store to watch the mysterious vampire film called The Curse of the Velvet Vampire. which stars the band 802 and a lot of beautiful vampire girls. They even worked with Warpigs Brewing to create a beer called Velvet Vampire.
Directed by Christoffer Sandau Schuricht, who wrote the script with Poul Erik Madsen (he and Schuricht made The Beast Will Kill Us All together) and Andreas Asingh (the lead singer of 802), this gets the Demons mask in immediately and I wish there was a video store like this close to me even if it rents tapes that seemed cursed.
I love the look of this and wish we’d gotten the full movie that 802 was in, because whatever it is, it’s awesome.
Gum (2023): An obsessive gum chewer (Sean Moskal) is working to hit a deadline that seems impossible. He keeps chewing gum, as he always does, in an attempt to stay awake. Yet the more he bites into, the less teeth he has. Directed and written by Sam Elder. this is one short to miss if you have teeth loss or bloody mouths as your triggers. I guess it must be hard to blow bubbles with a mouthful of nothing.
Type A (2023): A man (Joe Briggs) is one of those Saw situations where must complete a task in exchange for his life. Directed and written by Jake Barcus, we discover that task is impossible, because it’s plugging an HDMI cord in, which is the hardest thing ever. Also, maybe you shouldn’t discuss rimming with a masked killer with a gun and a voice changer.
STAIRWELL (2022): Directed by Anthony Ceceri and David Britton, who wrote the script, this animated short has a young girl start to notice the patterns of the stairwell in her building. Each time she is on the stairs, there’s another dead animal, from fly to roach, rat to cat. Always something larger. Always something dead. Short, sweet and sinister, this is well made.
We Joined a Cult (2023): Directed and written by Chris McInroy, this is the tale of Wes (Kirk C. Johnson) and Luke (Carlos Larotta), two guys who wanted to play kickball and ended up in the cult of “He Who Blows In the Wind.” Things get as out of hand as you imagine quite quickly with possession, brain licking, blood sprays and Lenny (Brant Bumpers). McIntroy also made GUTS, which is one of the few films made lately that made me physically sick, so I’m super excited to report that this has tons of the red stuff and no small shortage of moments that will make you feel queasy. A success!
The 44th Chamber of Shaolin (2022): This starts with a disclaimer just like Jackass which means that I’m already a fan. The 44th Chamber of Shaolin is about the fake training that a kung fu master creates for a student who may love Shaw Brothers movies too much.
Directed and written by Jon Truei, this discusses chi powers and how if you train hard enough, you can defeat guns. You know, all that Dim Mak stuff. If you pay enough money, most karate schools will tell you that you can do just about anything.
Sifu Carlos (Santino Marin) believes that the kid (Marshieh Johnson) has the potential to be a Shaolin warrior, to enter the 44th Chamber, started by a killer monk that he passed on to ninjas. To become invulnerable to pain, you must taze yourself in the nuts as many times as you can. This gives you the defense that you require to fight anyone.
I loved this. Between the flashback scene and multiple stuns to the sack, this is cinema.
You can watch so many of the films at CFF by buying a pass on their website. I’ll be be posting reviews and articles over the next few days, as well as updating my Letterboxd list of watches.
Named in honor of the wild collections of short genre fiction curated by the luminary author Harlan Ellison, CFF’s Dangerous Visions block has long been the dark heart of their short film program each year, and this year, there were too many fantastic horror and sci-fi shorts for a single block to contain them so they’ve expanded things to include our virtual SO LONG AND THANKS FOR ALL THE DANGEROUS VISIONS block. No summer spent at Camp CFF is complete without the heaping helping of HOLY SHIT that are these two blocks!
Nian (2022): This ran on Hulu’s Bite-Sized Halloween and is directed and written by Michelle Krusiec. It’s about Gertie (Lauren Mei), an Asian-American student who is bullied. To defend herself, she turns to one of the mythological creatures from Chinese New Year, the Nian. It’s a mythological creature said to eat rotten children. I loved her grandmother (Dawn Akemi Saito) who is in no way shy or non-profane about how angry she is that someone would tell her daughter to go back where she came from.
I didn’t know anything about the nian before watching this. When the Chinese New Year begins — usually at the end of January — the nian arrives to feed on anything a village has, even their children. Demon masks — like the one in this film — protect kids from this creature.
This looks absolutely gorgeous and better than most modern films. It’s quick and to the point, but gives Krusiec time to prove a great level of talent. You can learn more at the official site.
Consumer (2023): The PR line for this is “What if John Carpenter directed an episode of Goosebumps?” Well, that sets me up for something interesting.
Matt Fisher (Nate Ridgeway) is the kind of sensitive soul that sits in the mall and draws sketches. Well, that enrages the local bullies, who are Corvette t-shirt-wearing Johnny Porterhouse (Jack Anderson), Jeff Sally (Jeffrey Nichols) and a punked out girl named Harvey Keller (Bethany Carroll) who draws all over his work and is so mean that I’d furtively make mixtapes for her and wonder why the only attention I could get from her was scorn. Yes, perhaps I was a young Matt in the late 80s. I absolutely love that Jeffy carries a morningstar with him like teens my age used to walk Beaver Valley Mall with nunchucks.
Matt then meets Dave (played by Matt Fisher, who directed this short) and is given a video game called Consumer that offers him the choice between forgiveness or consuming. His choice drives the rest of this movie.
Directed by Matthew FIsher and written by Maximum Byrd, this is the kind of movie where someone is handed a floppy disk and told, “Those bullies are going to get what’s coming to them.” As a longtime fan of movies like Evilspeak and Trick or Treat, I am always down with geeks rising up and getting their rightful revenge. Also: the company who made the Consumer program is Theophilus, which means “loved by God.” Hmm…
The idea of learning to forgive instead of being consumed is deep within this. Even better, this parable is told with gorgeous colors and angles, as well as a feel for the mall that is often missing in modern media that attempts to recreate the 80s. I had a blast with this. You can learn more at the official site.
The Noise (2023): Ella secretly struggles with an eating disorder to the point that during her birthday dinner, all she can hear is the calorie counts of the meal her family has made for her. This is called The Noise, a force that becomes a monstrous form that takes over Ella’s life. As someone who has struggled with their weight their entire life and continually tracks calories on an app, I have felt all of the voices in her head but never to this extent.
Directed by Jillian Shea Spaeder (who also wrote, produced and stars in this short) and Bryce Gheisar, this is a terrifying film that can also explain in a very visceral way what it’s like to constantly be worried about what we put into our bodies to a level that destroys your life. I really loved — as much as I can — the sound design of The Noise.
Ella is obviously not out of shape and is a normal girl. I felt for her and what she’s going through in this. And the film, from an artistic perspective, mixes so many difficult shots — a long running tracking shot outside, angle shots in darker lighting with The Noise being revealed, darker lit shots that are never lost — that this is a confident entry that could lead to some teachable moments for those who don’t understand eating issues.
You can watch it here:
Apotemnofilia (2023): Clara (Lucía Azcoitía) is having difficulty transitioning from her pregnancy back to acting. Now, confronted with a packed house on opening night, she can’t stop the buzzing that is going on in her head, even when she — spoilers on — begins burning her leg with cigarettes and repeatedly stabbing herself to remove whatever is inside her.
Directed and written by Jano Pita, this doesn’t shy away from huge displays of splatter and literal geysers of blood as the world is falling apart outside Clara’s dressing room door. I learned from my friend Joseph Perry that apotemnofilia means the “desire of amputation for a healthy limb” and wow, this lives up to that medical term.
Extra points for a poster that echoes Tenebrae and has such a striking black and red color balance. Wow. This one is something else.
Giallo (2023): When a movie says that it’s dedicated to the masters of Italian horror and the Ramsay Brothers (Mahakaal), you know that I’m already going to be predisposed to liking it.
Director and writer Yogesh Chandekar has put together what feels like an honest tribute to giallo, as the music by Achint Thakkar is absolutely perfect, the lighting is gorgeous — our heroine’s (Saiyami Kher) mother doesn’t live in Bava Heights on accident — and I love the look of the masked, black gloved killer. I want to give away the big reveal but it’s just so good that I want more people to see this and be as surprised as I was. If anything, it makes too much sense to be a giallo and I say that as a big fan of the filone.
Here’s hoping that more people get a chance to watch this, because for all the recent giallo tributes, this feels absolutely spot on in look and feel. It even has the soft darkness that only Italian film looks like. It’s astounding how much the streets of India can look like the dark alleys of Rome.
Night Feeding (2023): It’s 4 a.m. when a baby monitor goes off and alerts a new mother (Leah Shesky) that her child needs fed. The crying leads her through the darkness, but the lack of sleep and strange early and late — the small hours — time disorients her as she picks up her baby. As the infant drinks from her breast, she leans back and feels comfort in the fact that the crying has stopped. Yet as the music gets darker and the camera pushes in on her, something has to be wrong. And that’s when we hear the baby still crying even though there’s something attached to her nipple.
Directed and written by Sarah K. Reimers, this has to be triggering for mothers to watch, who will probably cheer when the heroine launches the demonic child. And the father (Andrew Coates)? He slept through all of it.
Come Back Haunted (2023): A reclusive woman (Toby Poser, who is part of the family that made Hellbender) must go against her normal behavior and connect with someone when a blood covered girl (Catherine Bennis) appears, screaming that she has to escape her mother (Virginia Newcomb). The woman tries to become a surrogate to the child, but there’s darkness out here.
Directed and written by Logan J. Freeman, this should remind you that there are horrible people out there as well as those that need help. Yet you should never invite anyone into your home, because just like little me who measured the distance between everyone’s fingers and checked for pentagrams on the pa;m to determine if they were monsters in my kindergarten class, you just never know.
This looks absolutely terrific and has some intense performances by each actor. I’d love to see this expanded into something longer but perhaps it’s perfect just the way it is. Yet another reason to never be near cornfields. Or maybe the monster is inside all of us?
The Little Curse (2024): Abby (Ciera Eis) and Trent (Adrian Honner) have inherited an old house of Abby’s eccentric aunt and are giving a tour to their Rod Stewart vintage t-shirt clad friend Ratboy (Charlie Lind). As they look through the basement, they find a trunk with a little girl’s dead body inside, holding a corn husk doll.
The first thing you should do in this situation is leave the house and never come back. The last thing is keeping the doll, which is what Abby has done. Well, that night, the little girl (Audrina Miranda) comes back for it. Has no one seen Ghosthouse? Leave toys in the coffins of children!
Directors Nicholas Berger and Dana Berry — who also wrote this — know horror pretty well, as well as how couples like to make fun of one another. A lot of it feels natural, but man, Ratboy reminds me of my friend Dillon and he deserves justice.
Strange Creatures (2023): Starting with a Jane Austen quote — “What strange creatures brothers are! You would not write to each other but upon the most urgent necessity in the world.” — and the sound of a phone call, we meet our protagonist as she parks her car. She remembers a phone call from her brother — before or after he died? –= and goes to where he died to seek out exactly what happened.
Directed and written by Nicholas Payne Santos, this breaks up the supernatural feel of this world with our ordinary sounds, like that iPhone ring that we hear every day. What is less expected is the still working payphone in the middle of nowhere. As her brother keeps calling and asking for help — she’s already seen something — our lead is reduced to panic and tears.
I’d like to see more of this and learn what happens next. It’s well made and I wonder where else Santos can take it.
Spooky Crew (2023): The Spooky Crew — Nancy (Olivia Peck), Tim (Jeff Pearson) and Emery (Jerik Thibodeaux) — are ready to go up against the local urban legend of Mary Jane (Wicken Taylor). Some of the team thinks that all of these paranormal things are fake. Some of them are skeptics. They all want you to pay into their Patreon so they can keep doing their podcast.
Mary Jane died on the night of her prom under mysterious circumstances and the Spooky Crew is on the case, live streaming their journey to discover the truth. Also: Tim is rocking a Vinegar Syndrome shirt, so of course I’d ask him to guest on our videocast.
Directed by Erin Bennett, who co-wrote it with Donny Broussard, this gets across the silliness of the whole livestream ghost hunts while remaining authentic to how they actually speak. Also: always pack face masks for when you go into places where there is mold. I mean, it’s as important as having that summoning spell.
Oddly, my town had the same legend but it was Mary Black. It’s the same as the Bloody Mary urban legend that they made an Urban Legendsequel about when people were all into folklore as slasher fodder in the 2000s.
My only criticism is that this ended way too soon. An entire movie of this would be a lot of fun.
Outer Reaches (2023): Directed and written by Karl Redgen, this is the story of two explorers trying to find a new home for the human race. Hargrave (Cam Beatty) and Nestor (Michael M. Foster) crash land on an isolated planet, they learn that the only thing there other than them are a swarm of sentient microorganisms. The air is breathable, but when Nestor gets them into his body, they must weigh the decision to leave. Is their own survival or the chance of spreading this virus going to happen?
The creature begins to speak through Nestor, telling Hargrave that if he wants his friend to live, he has to bring them into the universe so that they can have freedom after a thousand years. It’s an insidious virus that can even take on the voices inside Hargrave’s mind.
There are a lot of great ideas in this for such a short film. The effects are really good and the audio that finishes the film suggest that this isn’t over yet.
That’s Our Time (2023): Wow. Just wow. This movie floored me and I don’t want to give away the ending because it’s that great. It starts with Danny (Marque Richardson) finding that he’s unable to make a true connection with the people in his life. His therapist Dr. Miller (Debra Wilson, who is great in this and I didn’t even recognize her from Mad TV) attempts to show him that you must focus on the time you have left than the time you’ve already spent. But is it too late?
Directed by Alex Backes, who co-wrote it with Josh Callahan, this is a true surprise and perhaps the best short I’ve seen in a long time. I can’t wait to see what Backes does next.
The Cost of Flesh (2023): Alice is a totally paralyzed teenager and the only way that she can communicate with her brother and sister are through her eyes. That’s all we see in most of this film, just her eyes filling the screen and reflections of people within them. There’s an evil force causing this to happen, one that demands blood. Is her family willing to try and free her?
Directed by Tomas Palombi, who wrote the script with Flore Desbiens, this has such a cool look to it, shot in black and white and just remaining fixated on an uncomfortably close shot of an eyeball. We can hear the brother and sister, if barely see them, and otherwise can only hear the strained breathing of the teenager and the sound of thunder.
What a wild film and I can’t even imagine how terrifying the ending was to see on a big screen.
When Shadows Lay Darkest (2023): “It’s only a movie… it’s only a movie… it’s only a movie…” This film used that beloved language in its log line, as this is about a 1970s movie slasher terrorizing a real final girl from beyond her TV screen. It has to be difficult to go from yelling at dumb people in a slasher to suddenly being in their shoes.
There are some immeasurably inventive moments in this, as the TV itself is used to show what reality as become as The Shape-like character from the movie comes into our world. The real colors are replaced with the blues and reds of the horror universe, the synth music replaces any outside sound and then the TV goes black.
I saw and loved director and writer Jacob Leighton Burns’ film Shifter a few years ago, so it’s good to know that he’s still making movies. This is a triumph and one of the best put-together shorts I’ve seen in a long, long time.
Roger Is a Serial Killer (2023): A podcaster named Anne (Sara Paxton, The Innkeepers) believes that her stepfather Roger (Mark Reeb) is a serial killer. Or, well, maybe it’s better for her show Step-Killer if it’s Roger and not his business partner James (Chris Doubek), who planned all of their trips. Now Anne and Roger are worried that they’re about to be killed while her mom Carol (Barbara Crampton) excitedly says, “Tell her about your podcast!”
Director and writer Don Swaynos (who edited Chop and Steele) has put together a really intriguing film here, as Anne goes full Serial to tell the story of the Business Class Killer. It even has a Stamps.com ad.
As always, I love seeing Barbara Crampton in a movie and she’s great at the comedy in this. This is a total blast! Rest in peace to Reeb, who was also so good in this.
You can watch so many of the films at CFF by buying a pass on their website. I’ll be be posting reviews and articles over the next few days, as well as updating my Letterboxd list of watches.
I say it with every movie he releases, but Chris Stokes is the best creator of all of the Tubi Originals.
When I saw Rock the Boat last year, I wrote that it had “an ending that teases a sequel that knowing Stokes, Houston and Tubi that I feel sure that we will receive.”
He did not do me wrong.
After the end of the last movie — in which not only a boat blows up but there’s a car crash that gets replayed many times in this — Millie Barnes (Parker McKenna) has lost her memory and has nightmares of whatever happened in the past.
This doesn’t waste any time being a remix of I Know What You Did Last Summer, as Channel (Janina Gordillo) and Sommer (Iyana Halley) go over what happened in the first film, only to end with Sommer going to work at a dive bar — despite being a rich girl — and Channel opening a pizza with a sinister note before she’s murdered.
Millie works in marketing along with Halle (Katlynn Simone) who seems to take a sisterly interest in her. Keep that in mind. Millie is being constantly questioned by Detectives Jacobs (Jarell Houston) and Daniels (Judi Johnson), wondering what has happened to her boyfriend Kaleb (Marc John Jeffries) and how his father Mr. Weber may have be behind not just what happened on the boat but he also may have murdered Millie’s parents Eric and Tracy.
To get away from it all, Millie decides to go visit her grandmother Paula (Loretta Devine), who is probably the most important citizen in her beach town. Despite being told that this is party central, no one is here, the club is closed — other than a bartender, Captain Keller (Steven Littles) and Paula’s servant Greg (Dwight Boyce) — and things are dead. It’s like this movie skipped right to I Still Know What You Did Last Summer as Halle, Millie, Durell (Ozie Nzeribe), Sophia (Zonnique) and Todd (Justin Sweat) all get notes letting them know that someone knows what they’ve done.
Oh man, how can you even explain what happens next? There are multiple secret siblings, an aunt named Olga (Carnetta Jones) who can do the Get Out spoon hypnosis to people, a grandmother who goes completely mental and another ending that promises another movie as this ends with Detective Jacobs (Jarell Houston) saying he has people in Miami and Millie brainwashed yet again as Olga does the mental magic and her grandmother laughs for a full minute.
To Chris Stokes and his co-writer Marques Houston, please hurry with the next one. And if The Stepmother is in it too and you build to an Avengers: Endgame of your many Tubi Originals, you will make me more than overjoyed.
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