Darkslide (2016)
Originally titled Road to Red, this surf/skate/horror hybrid is all about five best friends who set out on a road trip that quickly turns into an epic battle for survival. It was co-written and directed by Tito de Costa. It’s his fist full-length movie. In the Sierra Nevada Mountains of California, a sheriff finds world skateboard […]
Dark Signal (2016)
The mountainous, remote wooded expanse of Snowdonia, North Wales, is terrorized by the Wedlock Killer. The savage and brutal attacks of five women share a common trait: their wedding ring fingers were removed by a bolt cutter. Luckily, Sarah, the next victim, was watching an expositional TV news report so we can learn this useful, […]
Precious Cargo (2016)
After watching Claire Folani kicking ass in Inferno: Skyscraper Escape (and we remember her holding her own alongside Jackie Chan in 2003’s The Medallion), I decided to give another one of her action movies a spin—this one with the added benefit of Bruce Willis. Ah, but the caveat emptors are afoot as this is another […]
Box Office Failures Week: Gods of Egypt (2016)
Remember Alex Proyas? He directed The Crow and the promise of that movie led to chance after chance, with films like I, Robot and Knowing baffling folks and still making money. He also made Dark City, a movie that I’m still kind of shocked emerged out of Hollywood. And in trivia that only my pal R. D Francis would […]
The Conjuring 2 (2016)
The second cinematic film in the Warren cinematic universe, this movie starts where other movies like The Amityville Horror take hours to show. Yes, the Warrens really did go to 112 Ocean Avenue. The jury is, however, out as to whether Lorraine had a vision of the murders, followed the ghost of one of the Lutz […]
The Amityville Legacy (2016)
Did this poster just put one of those horrifying wind-up monkeys in the windows of the house at 112 Ocean Avenue? Well, that’s just not fair. If this movie came out when I was seven, I would have defecated in my pants to such a level that you would be about to smell it, even […]
Amityville: Vanishing Point (2016)
Shot in seven days for $1,000, this movie has Lloyd Kaufman acting in it. I’m sure you realize that the moment that I read that I debated either suicide or shutting the movie off, whatever would remove me from the equation. Then again, director Dylan Mars Greenberg was only 18 when it was made. But […]
The Amityville Terror (2016)
The poster for this movie features Disneyland Paris’s Phantom Manor attraction with a few Photoshopped tweaks. No worries — it isn’t the house from the original film or even the one used in this movie. However, the actual house used in The Amityville Terror is the same house used to shoot the interiors for Amityville: The Evil […]
Amityville: No Escape (2016)
Seventeen movies into the Amityville cycle and here we are. More found footage and college students in a study to learn what fear is all about. They should have to sit through an entire day of non-stop Amityville films like I did and they’ll understand what fear is all about. Seriously — I’ve never felt […]
A Husband for Christmas (2016)
Brooke and Roger, two graphic designers in a soon-to-be-merged company, help one another by agreeing to a loveless marriage of convenience. In the process, Brooke gets to upstage her sister who just announced her engagement to her ex-boyfriend. Now, you may say, “Sam why are you watching this?” David DeCoteau got me again. Yes, the […]
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