EDITOR’S NOTE: Amazons aired on USA Up All Night on May 25 and 26 and November 10, 1990; June 14, 1991; January 18 and September 19, 1992; April 2, 1993 and February 26, 1994.
Sword and sorcery was a big part of the films that Roger Corman released in the 1980’s. To be fair, different sword and sorcery cycles — peblum to Conan ripoff — have always been part of Corman’s films.
Amazons is from Argentina and is based on the Charles R. Saunders story Agbewe’s Sword. Saunders was born in Elizabeth, PA, about fifteen minutes from where we live. He settled in Nova Scotia where he worked for a local newspaper and wrote several well-received short stories about the African-American community there. He also, in his spare time, created the world of Imaro and became one of the first writers to create African-American-centric sword and sorcery stories*.
Based on the real-life female warriors of the West African Kingdom of Dahomey, Amazons tells the story of several female warriors, like Dyala (Mindi Miller, Caged Fury), Tashi (Penelope Reed), Tashinge (Danitza Kingsley, Blackout) and Vishiti (Maria Fournery, Deathstalker).
What is not based on reality is that there’s a woman in this movie who can transform into a lion. So know that going in. Neither is the Sword of Azundati, which the trailer seems to think is Excalibur. But hey, who cares about reality? There are Amazon fights galore, including one battle between one of the women and a giant snake. That’s really why I watch movies.
*He also wrote Stormquest, another movie that was made with Sessa directing. It’s all about a female-dominated society coming to realize that they may be wrong by excluding men. It’s one of the last of ten Argentinan barbarian movies that Corman would produce.
EDITOR’S NOTE: Thanks to Matthew Hale on Letterboxd, I’ve learned that there are alternate versions of this Mill Creek box set. For the sake of completeness and my obsessive compulsive disorder, here’s this missing movie.
Directed by Jeffrey Delman from a script by Delman, J. Edward Kiernan and Charles F. Shelton, Deadtime Stories was originally called Freaky Fairy Tales. That makes sense, as two of the three stories are based on Little Red Riding Hood and Goldilocks.
Delman originally wanted to have the song “Li’l Red Riding Hood” by Sam the Sham and The Pharaohs to play over the opening credits, but was unable to use the song because the clearance rights were too expensive. You need to have a Striking Distance budget to get that. He also wanted “Surfin’ Bird” and “Walkin’ on the Rain,” but again, he had a small budget.
All of these stories are told by Uncle Mike (Michael Mesmer) — named for SNL and National Lampoon writer Michael O’Donoghue — who is trying to calm down his nephew with three horrifying stories. That story is very The Boy Who Cried Wolf. I have no idea why he would think that these fairy tales filled with gore would make a kid stop being wild, but I didn’t make this movie. In the first story, a fisherman’s son (Scott Valentine) is sold as a slave to two witches, while the second is about a prescription mix-up between a grandmother and the wolf who is after Red Riding Hood. Finally, Judith “Mama'”Baer (Melissa Leo), her husband Beresford “Papa” Baer (Kevin Hannon) and their son Wilmont “Baby” Baer (Timothy Rule go on the run and discover that Goldi Lox (Cathryn de Prume) is in their hideout.
It’s goofy but I enjoyed it. Then again, I always like anthology films.
There is every other movie in the world and then there’s The Abomination.
No hype. This movie is absolutely brain destroying junk transmitted from some terrifying alternate timeline that I hope and pray never reaches our own. It’s a world where televangelist Brother Fogg can pray a tumor out of a woman, who vomits it out, and then that tumor crawls into her son who undergoes a transformation into a killing machine that feeds the many spores of the creature and pushes forward the end of all things.
This is also the kind of movie that starts with a blast forward of all the gore that you’re about to see in this movie and still not feel boring when that gore comes back. And man, that gore comes back and takes over the world of this movie, transforming protagonist Cory’s home into a panorama of teeth and blood and muscle and sinew and gristle and gore.
Man, what’s wrong with Texas? Or right? This movie feels like it wasn’t released and that it escaped like it should have been destroyed before it infected anyone’s brain but here it is, hiding in its low-fi menace out there waiting for people to watch it and wonder, “Why are people driving so much?” when they aren’t wretching from the endless parade of blood and viscera being literally thrown at the screen and the dubbed soundtrack which makes me love this movie even more, because when you put your budget into gigantic monsters that emerge from appliances and kitchen nooks, you don’t have the cash for synched sound.
Director and writer Bret McCormick also made parts of Tabloid and the films Time Tracers and Repligator. Even at this early stage, he’s showing off a real eye of how to use the budget and how to pretty much frighten you through the sheer strangeness of what he’s created.
This isn’t a perfect movie but perfection is an ideal that cannot exist. This is The Abomination.
I can’t even explain how excited I am about this release. Beyond the new producer-supervised SD master from original tape source — I’ve never seen this movie look better — there’s a limited edition slipcase by The Dude, 1 12-page mini-comic book, commentary with director Bret McCormick, Rob Hauschild and Matt Desiderio of Visual Vengeance, a second commentary with Tony Strauss of Weng’s Chop Magazine, interviews with McCormick, Blue Thompson, Victoria Chaney, The Abomination‘s original VHS distributor: Michael Jack Shoel, a locations tour, several reels of outtakes, raw footage and behind the scenes, an image gallery some of Bret’s Super 8 films, a trailer archive of his films, a 6-page book with an essay by Tony Strauss, a “Stick Your Own” VHS sticker set, a reversible sleeve with the original VHS artwork and more.
Honestly, I can’t think of another movie that will come out on physical media this year that I will care more about. This is everything. You can get it from MVD.
No one should ever attempt to play any of the roles of Charles Bronson, because no one can stand up to that level of comparison. But if any man can, it would be Cüneyt Arkin, the dizzying battling star of many a Yeşilçam film, playing in everything from movies influenced by Star Wars (Dünyayı Kurtaran Adam), Rambo (Vahsi Kan), ninja movies (Ölüm Savasçisi AKA Death Warrior), Mad Max (Ölüme Son Adım) and the magic that is Kiliç Aslan AKA The Sword and The Claw and Lionman.
Here, he’s making Death Wish 2and if it were anyone else, I would be enraged.
Instead, I’m overwhelmed by just how right this is.
Co-directed and co-written by Arkin, who worked with Remzi Jöntürk on the filming and Mehmet Aydin on the writing, this is a down and dirty shot on video remake remix rip-off of one of Michael Winner’s most nihilistic and mean-spirited movies. It has all the beats — yes, the assault scene; yes, the daughter jumps out the window although we don’t see the gory result — and ends with Arkin using a blackjack and a knife to get the revenge that must be his.
The three punks that ruin Arkin’s life in this are the weirdest movie punks you’ve ever seen. They sport strange bushy hair, nonsensical jewelry and hang out in clubs that look like an abandoned Chess King. This movie also has some of the oddest soundtrack picks this side of Godfrey Ho with just as much concern for copyright and by that I mean absolutely zero.
From Arkin’s daughter dancing to a synth version of “Memory” from Cats and an appearance of the theme from Chariots of Fire to Michael Sambello’s “Maniac,” Survivor’s “Eye of the Tiger,” Duran Duran’s “A View to a Kill,” Michael Cretu’s “Samurai,” the bad guys using “Go Home” by Stevie Wonder for their theme and, perhaps most wonderfully, a long disco bar scene set to Chrissie Hynde and UB40’s “I Got You Babe,” this movie reminds me of one of Negativland’s best lessons: Copyright infringement is your best entertainment value.
Korkusuz is also known as Rampage and Fearless, is the second movie that director Çetin İnanç made that follows the blueprint of Rambo: First Blood Part II. Starring bodybuilder Serdar Kebapçılar as Serdar, this has some pretty realistic looking locations and weapons, thanks to the movie being filmed in a real commando camp in Foça. I say realistic except for the rocket launcher, which is made of wood and painted.
Serdar is on an undercover mission to destroy the terrorist element in Turkey. He saves the life of the leader of the terrorists’ brother. Ziya is at least a good enough leader to not believe that this man who came out of nowhere and can’t be cut by knives isn’t a government agent, so he’s waiting to turn on him. He even buries him in mud up to his neck and hits him with a hose of water at one point, but as we all know, Serdar is going to end this guy before the end of the film.
Serdar also was in Kara Simsek, which is Rocky inspired; Intikamci (The Avenger) which has elements of Road Warrior and also has Commando as one of its titles and Asi Kabadayi, which is called Turkish Wolverine despite the fact that it was made in 1986 and the only tie to the Canadian superhero is that Serdar has a metallic spiked glove that also has claws and shoots arrows, which Weapon X cannot do.
*The other is Vahşi Kan(Wild Blood). That movie has Cuneyt Arkin and zombies in it, so guess which one I like more?
As John Hughes ruled the 1980’s with six films about teens, this was the first time that he moved from some level of realism to complete fantasy. Named after the 1950’s EC Comics title — producer Joel Silver even paid for the rights to the name — Weird Science seems on the surface that it will be teenage softcore fantasy fulfillment. That’s the bright spot of the film. Lisa may have been created on the computer to be the perfect woman, but the ideal woman would have a mind of her own.
Gary Wallace (Hughes’ avatar in three films, Anthony Michael Hall) and Wyatt Donnelly (who grew up to be a nerd in the best of ways as a professor and published Dungeons and Dragons author) are the geekiest of the geeks at Shermer High — the fictional school that all Hughes’ films emanate from. Their latest humiliation was being pantsed in front of their dream girls Deb (Suzanne Snyder, Killer Klowns from Outer Space) and Hilly (Judie Aronson, Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter) by their boyfriends Ian (an incredibly young Robert Downey Jr.) and Max (Robert Rusler, Sometimes They Come Back).
Inspired by Universal’s Frankenstein, the boys use magic, electricity and a computer to create the perfect woman. A power surge ensures and creates Lisa (Kelly LeBrock, the “it girl” of my teen years), who has limitless powers and the desire to take our boys and turn them into men. The thing is, she isn’t some bimbotastic plastic love doll created simply for their pleasure. That would render this whole movie incredibly stupid. No, she’s here to make their lives better.
There are so many obstacles in her way: Chet (an incredible Bill Paxton), who makes his brother’s life a living hell; the boy’s parents; and yep, Max and Ian. It all comes to a head at a party where a nuclear missile and mutant bikers — yes, that’s Michael Berryman and Vernon Wells — are part of the chaos. It all ends well — Chet gets turned into some form of feces monster while Gary and Wyatt get the girls. And Lisa? She ends up becoming a gym teacher.
My only issue with the film is the scene where the boys go to downtown Chicago and hang with a crowd of older black men, talking about the “eighth-grade bitch that broke his heart.” I realize that this movie was made in 1985, but even then, it completely took me out of the movie. I still have no idea why it remains. This Medium article only confirms that my feelings were valid.
Weird Science was memorable enough to lead to a 1994 to 1998 TV series version. A remake was announced, but that thankfully never made it to the screen.
Arrow Video is now bringing Weird Science to UHD. It features a 4K scan of the original negative, a high-definition 1080p presentation of the film’s theatrical version, and an exclusive extended version with two lost scenes remastered. You also get the edited-for-TV version of the movie and a comparison video showing the dubs and edits for this version.
There are interviews with unique makeup creator Craig Reardon, composer Ira Newborn, supporting actor John Kapelos and casting director Jackie Burch. There’s also It’s Alive: Resurrecting Weird Science, which was also on the 2008 DVD release of the film that has interviews with the cast and crew. If that’s not enough, there are trailers, TV and radio spots, an illustrated collectors’ booklet with Alexandra Heller-Nicholas and Amanda Reyes writing about their love of the movie, a fold-out poster featuring original and newly commissioned artwork by Tracie Ching and a reversible sleeve with the same artwork. It’s a fantastic package, even better than the Blu-ray version they released a year ago.
Directed by Didier Grousset, who co-wrote the script with Michèle Pétin and producer Luc Besson, Kamikaze is the story of a man named Albert (Michel Galabru). He’s a computer genius, but when he gets fired, he starts to murder television announcers without ever leaving his home. Only Inspector Romain Pascot (Richard Bohringer) can stop him.
This movie is pretty wild, because it’s a mix of so many ideas. A satire on media, a comedy, a detective story and plenty of science fiction along the way. Now Albert has a weapon — that seems like something from Phantasm — that he can point at the TV and kill anyone who upsets him. And it seems like nearly everyone upsets him.
There’s also a wonderful synth score from Eric Serra who has worked on many films with Besson.
I’d never have seen this movie if it didn’t get rereleased on blu ray and I’m so glad I found it. It’s really something special, a movie that’s a battle between two men who are both incredibly smart at their own unique specialties — Albert computers, Pascot finding criminals — and how the case is logically built to catch the criminal mastermind. And wow — that poster is absolutely gorgeous. Definitely check this out.
The Kino Lorber blu ray has commentary by Eddy Von Mueller, an interview with Grousset, a documentary on the film and a trailer. You can get it from Kino Lorber.
Wise Guys may not have the visual excess that De Palma was once known for, but it does what so few of his past comedies did for me. It made me laugh. I watched this movie several times as a kid — blame Captain Lou Albano for being in it — but I always loved it, because Harry Valentini (Danny Devito) and Moe Dickstein (Joe Piscopo) may never rise to the head of Anthony Castelo’s (Dan Heyada) gang, it’s not always because they have a bad boss. The secret plan of the universe that Harry keeps following inevitably means that they are going to screw up any good luck that comes their way.
They may dream of opening deli, but for now, all they do are the worst of jobs: testing out bulletproof jackets, goldfish watching and starting the car to make sure it doesn’t explode. Then they get an actual assignment: go with Frank “The Fixer” Acavano (Albano) to the racetrack to make a bet. Harry thinks he can get in the boss’ good graces by switching his bet. Catelo’s horse wins $250,000. The boys didn’t bet on it. They’re tortured for an entire evening before they individually agree to kill one another. Neither can pull the trigger.
After seeing Harry’s cousin Marco (Ray Sharkey) get wasted, they freak out and steal Frank’s car and head down to Atlantic City, hoping that Harry’s Uncle Mike, who was once Castelo’s boss, can save them. Well, he’s dead. And now they probably will be by the end of the day, especially after they use Acavano’s credit cards to stay in a five star hotel owned by their old friend and now successful businessman Bobby DiLea (Harvey Keitel).
The twists and turns at the end of this are worthy of the biggest movies that De Palma made, as the two men — so often screw ups — must somehow get out of all this trouble and get away with it. Time has been kind to this, as years after I first saw it I just kept laughing.
Back when he was in the tag team The Sicilians with Tony Altamore, Lou Albano was warned by organized crime figures to cool the gimmick if he wanted to live. As an Italian American of great pride, this is where I remind you that there is no such proven Italian American crime family and we don’t mention any names for such organizations in print.
VIDEO ARCHIVES NOTES: This movie was discussed on the June 6, 2023 episode of the Video Archives podcast and can be found on their site here. While they discussed what this movie is like in the world where Rick Dalton appeared in the movie, this article is about the one from our reality.
Seriously. Track down Thunder, Thunder 2 and Thunder 3. They haven’t been released by anyone in the U.S. on blu ray, but they better be soon. De Angelis knows how to shoot the kind of action movie that answers what people are looking for. The hero has to go through some horrific odds before blowing things up real good on the way to being one of your five for five dollars for five nights mom and pop video rentals.
When everyone was making Stallone Xerox cinema, Italy answered the call. In Germany, this was also considered a sequel to The Wild Geese, as it was released as Die Rückkehr der Wildgänse (The Return of the Wild Geese). What helps make Operation Nam (AKA Cobra Mission) stand out is that just like how Italian cinema reinvented the American Western, they do the same with the Vietnam revengeomatic.
De Angelis wrote this with Gianfranco Clerici (Delirium, Tex and the Lords of the Deep, House On the Edge of the Park) and Vincenzo Mannino (Devil Fish, Atlantis Interceptors, Strange Shadows In an Empty Room). Instead of simply being a man coming back to get to win this time, they forget the jingoistic nature of the Reagan 80s — or filter it through an Italian hivemind that survived the Years of Lead — and recall that America also made movies that showed just how rough Vietnam was on its men like Coming Home, The Deer Hunter and Rolling Thunder.
Ten years after they left Vietnam, James Walcott (John Steiner, Shock, Tenebre), who just quit his job at a roadside bar that he used to work at with his now ex-lover and unemployed Mark Adams (Manfred Lehmann, who was actually in Code Name: Wild Geese, the Antonio Margheriti-directed ripoff of Wild Geese and was the German voice of Bruce Willis) are attending the wedding of the daughter of Roger Carson (Christopher Connelly, Strike Commando, The Norseman, Peyton Place). Roger isn’t interested at all, playing Pole Position instead of getting ready and inviting those buddies when his rich wife — she used to work in a bra factory before she decided to buy it. Now she has a deal with Sears and he’s a kept man — asked him not to. In fact, he’s ruined his daughter’s day so much that they all go to a bar instead of sticking around.
That’s when they commiserate over some beer and whiskey, discussing how they can’t even sell the medals from the war for money. A story about prisoners of war comes on the news and two guys at the bar start making fun of the stoner vets who barely fought a war. All four of our heroes remember how much violence made them feel alive and kick the stuffing out of these men. If that felt good, just imagine how great it would feel like to go back to Vietnam and find the rest of these vets!
If it worked for Sylvester Stallone and Chuck Norris and David Carradine and Chris Mitchum and Brent Huff — you get the idea — it will work for these guys. For some time, it does. They start by looking up their old commanding officer, who has been replaced by Colonel Mortimer (Gordon Mitchell, who has graduated from playing the action hero to the kind of heavy who doesn’t get his hands dirty). Mortimer tells them where to find Major Morris, who turns out to be played by Enzo G. Castellari, who knows a thing or two about war. After all, he directed The Inglorious Bastards.
Well, Morris seems insane to the boys. He has maps packed with information about where the POWs are and keeps claiming that the government forced him out because they don’t want anyone to know that our boys are still over there. Hey — we shouldn’t have been there, as someone always says in these movies.
They leave this crazy old man and look up an even more mentally ill younger man, their old war pal Richard Wagner (Oliver Tobias, The Stud, Mata Hari) who tells them that he has a good life: no rent, free food and plenty of nurses who want to sleep with him. All they have to do is ask him if he wants to kill some Viet Cong and he leaves behind what he has claimed to be paradise.
The now foursome meet up with a group of vets who try and help families to get closure, including those of soldier Phil Lawson (look for Luciano Pigozzi as his grieving dad). These soldiers explain that just giving these families bones and a flag is all they can do. Well, that and taking their money. Roger goes shithouse and the gang beats the piss out of these quislings.
Finally, our boys get to Vietnam, a place where they plan on freeing as many Americans as they can. They’re given the weapons and intelligence they need from Father Lenoir (Donald Pleasence). Did Pleasence own a Catholic priest costume and offer to bring it? Is it the same collar from Prince of Darkness and The Devil’s Men?* Did Pleasence ever say no to a movie?
The weird thing is, when they finally get to save the men kept there, they don’t want to leave. Well, when four maniacs show up and one of them — Richard — remembers the face of a soldier who whipped his nude body before literally pissing in his face, well…you can’t blame them. Richard goes wild, not waiting for the signal from Roger the leader and starts moving down the VC before anyone knows what’s going on.
Despite having no real plan, military hijinks like throwing a ton of grenades into a room and yelling. “You’ve got mail” three years before America OnLine changed its name from Quantum Computer Services and also leaving some grenades in a truck and sending it directly into the enemy while flipping them off seem to get the job done. But things are weird for the guys. They start to realize that their old enemy now has the upper hand when it comes to tech. And the ladies they once easily slept with are now scarred victims ready to shoot you when they remember how you napalmed their homeland. Yeah, maybe Mmark shouldn’t have tried to relive past memories.
That’s the whole point of this movie. Nothing the Americans have done goes right. Even when they think they’ve saved a few of the POWs — they’ve gotten nearly all of them killed — they’re surrounded by the enemy and only saved when their real enemy, Mortimer, flies in and tells them to leave behind one of the POWs, Mike. And Mike is played by Ethan Wayne, the son of the Duke, so in essence the military-industrial complex is selling out the son of John Wayne. Only an Italian scum director could pull off something so audacious. And nihilistic. And bleak.
We end with everyone selling out America just to survive, Mortimer getting a promotion and Richard back in the mental hospital. Everyone decides to go back to their old lives, but you get the idea from Mortimer that they now know too much.
So do we, as we learn from the end credits — I had to translate them from Italia — the fate of the rest of the unit. Roger Carson died two weeks later when he was hit by a car as he was leaving his home. James Walcott died 25 days later, his helicopter carrying tourists crashed in Thailand. Richard Wagner is the only survivor. Doctors say he is in excellent health.
I love that the poster for this has Gabriele Tinti and David Warbeck in it. They’re not in the movie. They totally could have been, however.
If you enjoy this tale of Americans in over their head when trying to be action heroes, I recommend The Last Match, which has Ernest Borgnine, Charles Napier, Oliver Tobias, former Buffalo Bills QB Jim Kelly and most of the late 1991 Miami Dolphins battling the army of an entire evil nation to get back their coach’s daughter.
In the world of Tarantino, Rick Dalton again took the place of Christopher Connelly to play Roger Carson.
*He was also reverend in The Barchester Chronicles and American Rickshaw.
Also known as Kickboxing Connection, Ninja Boxing Cop and Ninja Connection 2, Ninja Champion starts with Rose (Nancy Chang) being assaulted by clowns over the opening credits. If you can get past that, then nothing can stop you in this movie. Because soon, her husband George (Roger Lam) leaves her, as he feels that she’s been tainted and almost instantly gets married.
Yet he can’t forget her. And his Interpol partner, Donald (Bruce Baron) — from completely new footage, as yes, this is a Godfrey Ho film — promises to watch out for her. But because George has a license to kill, he should probably keep close tabs and do the killing for her, as it looks. like Rose is going for revenge.
By the way, Bruce Baron has just as wild of a movie career as another Godfrey Ho star, Richard Harrison (don’t worry, he’s in this). After graduating from Cornell, he appeared in forty movies, including Code Name: Wild Geese, The Atlantis Interceptors, Firebackand many more.
Rose starts by poisoning one of her nipples and drowning the “Boxing Champion of Asia” in the bathtub. All of the Rose and George footage is from the Korean revengeomatic Poisonous Rose Stripping The Night. But Godfrey Ho goes harder than ever in this one, bringing back footage of Richard Harrison from Ninja Terminator and yes, he’s calling in on a Garfield telephone.
Oh yeah — Rose also cuts off the dick of almost every man she kills.
And George falls for a diamond smuggler named Jenny.
Trust me, that pays off in a way that you may not see coming.
There are also plenty of ninjas doing tricks with swords and hoops, as well as a final battle that takes place on the monkey bars of what I can only imagine is the playground of Godfrey Ho’s kids’ grade school. Well, a ninja just died on it and they left his body to rot.
Also I am a fan of the mentally challenged bald guy who ends up helping the good guys and George’s absolutely insane off-color Michael Jackson jacket. Hills uses to sell the black and white one along with the black and red and I always wondered, “Who would buy the jacket Michael didn’t wear for the very same price?”
It was George, the same guy who told his new wife to take a cold shower and go rent someone to make love to her, because he wasn’t interested. The guy who left a woman who was the victim of triple ninja clown rape. You know. The hero of Ninja Champion.
This movie is just packed with stolen music, the true joy of any ninja. We’re got Jean-Michel Jarre’s “Second Rendez Vouz,” “Third Rendez Vouz,” “Fifth Rendez Vouz” and “Ethnicolor;” Pink Flord’s “On the Run;” The Michael Schenker Group’s “Into the Arena,” Andrew Poppy’s “The Object Is a Hungry Wolf” and “Listening In;” ZZ Top’s “Sleeping Bag;” Kraftwerk’s “Trans Europe Express;” a track by Oscar; “Stereotomy” and “Where’s the Walrus?” by The Alan Parsons Project; “Junku” by Herbie Hancock; two songs from the soundtrack to Armored Trooper Votoms; “Ain’t I Cute” by Japanese synth artist Osamu Shoji; “Voyeur” by Hubert Kah; a song from the Japanese show Ultra Q; a song from the anime The Unchallengeable Daitarn 3; “Bois de Boulogne (Paris),” “Thru Metamorphic Rock,” “Diamond Diary” and “Lana” — which is from Risky Business — by Tangerine Dream and “The Other Side of Time” by French space disco artist Roland Romanelli.
I mean, this movie starts off with a remixed Star Wars theme, as if it is ready to announce to the world that copyright infringement is your best entertainment value.
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