Someone asked me the other day, “Have you seen Weapons yet?”

Nope.

“Sinners?”

No.

“These are the most important horror movies of the year. Why haven’t you?”

Because I have all these Popeye and Mickey Mouse slashers, and then Amityville…

After moving into a mysterious rental house in Amityville, New York — that’s how it always happens — artificial intelligence programmer Stuart Birdsall (Chris Heikka) encounters an evil force that kills his wife Vicki (Laura Schubring) and friends, but leaves him alive to go insane.

Another day in Amityville.

Directed and written by Matt Jaissle, this is better than you’d think. That’s because he’s the same maniac who made The Necro Files, so some of that madness is infused here. He also made Amityville AI, which is the start of this story. Also: He understands the Amityville + noun = success formula. He also gets that you must have a great tagline. This one? For God’s sake, stop the simulation.

Throw in a skeleton man and you get a movie that actually spent more than five minutes in scripting, which is four minutes more than most Amityville movies get. That’s right — this is an actual decent Amityville movie! That’s terrifying!

You can watch this on Tubi.

Directed by Michael Gornick, who was the cinematographer for Romero’s Martin, Dawn of the Dead, Knightriders, Day of the Dead and the original Creepshow, this follow-up is based once again on King stories (but screenwritten by Romero).

Creepshow 2 was originally going to be five stories (Pinfall and Cat from Hell went unfilmed, although Cat does appear in Tales from the Darkside: The Movie), but a lower budget forced the film to only include three tales.

Pinnacle was to be about the rivalry between two bowling teams, with one coming back from the dead to kill the other. It reminds me a lot of the story in Haunt of Fear #19, Foul Play!

Instead of what wasn’t filmed, let’s get into what was: In Dexter, Maine, a delivery truck pulls up and drops off the latest issue of Creepshow, with the driver being the Creep himself!

In Old Chief Wood’nhead, an elderly couple named Ray and Martha Spruce (George Kennedy and Dorothy Lamour in her last role) live in an old town on its last legs. No one in the city has money, and soon, the store they own — and their lives — will fade away, too. Chief Whitemoon comes to visit and gives them sacred jewelry to pay back his debt. It’s not money, but the thought is what counts.

As the wise old man leaves, the wooden Indian that stands guard in the store nods to him, which frightens him. It foreshadows what happens next, as that night, the chief’s nephew, with Sam and his gang, rob the store and kill the kindly old couple. Their blood splashes all over the old wooden chief as they depart with the stolen sacred jewels.

The gang plans to go to Hollywood, where Sam thinks his long hair will make him a star. But he and his entire gang are killed, with their scalps and the jewelry left for the old chief.

In The Raft, four teens (one of them is Page Hannah, the sister of Daryl and all of the characters share the surname of the actor playing them) try to go swimming but have to contend with a black blob that wants to kill them all. Again — this is a straightforward tale told well. I’d say it’s the highlight of the film, but the more I write about these, the more I remember how much I genuinely enjoy this movie.

Finally, The Hitchhiker concerns a businesswoman who is trying to get home from a tryst with her lover before her husband notices. Along the way, she hits a man who keeps coming back. And coming back. And coming back. Again, a simple idea, but told really well. Ironically, the hitchhiker is played by Tom Wright, who played the civil rights activist who comes back from the head in Tales from the Hood. It’s an amazingly similar role! Even stranger is that Barbara Eden was to play the woman before her mother’s illness caused her to drop out.

Ed French was the original effects guy for this, but got upset when director Gornick asked Howard Berger for advice, as he wasn’t happy with the look of the creature in The Raft. Greg Nicotero and Berger finished the movie, and they enlisted Tom Savini to play The Creep.

Creepshow 2 doesn’t have the gloss of the original. That doesn’t make it a horrible movie. The longer I’ve been around, the more I’ve come to like this film. Over the past few years, I’ve re-evaluated it and have come away liking it so much more than I did on first watch.

The Arrow Video release of Creepshow 2 has a brand new 4K restoration by Arrow Films from the original negative. Extras include an audio commentary with director Michael Gornick; interviews with screenwriter George A. Romero, actor and make-up artist Tom Savini and actors Daniel Beer and Tom Wright; a special effects featurette; behind-the-scenes footage; an image gallery; Howard Berger discussing Rick Baker; trailers and TV ads; screenplay galleries; Creepshow 2: Pinfall, a limited edition booklet featuring the comic adaptation of the unfilmed Creepshow 2 segment Pinfall by artist Jason Mayoh; an illustrated collector’s booklet featuring writing on the film by festival programmer Michael Blyth and a reversible sleeve featuring original and newly commissioned artwork by Mike Saputo. You can order this from MVD.

Toby Poser, John Adams, and their daughters Zelda and Lulu made The Deeper You Dig, a movie that divided Becca and me. For their follow-up, the Adams family has created a movie all about 16-year-old Izzy (Zelda), whose mother (Toby Poser) keeps her isolated due to a rare illness. Yet as Izzy begins to grow as a woman — beyond playing metal songs (written by Toby and Zelda) as the band H6LLB6ND6R without an audience may not be enough — she escapes to another home in the woods where she meets Amber (Lulu), who gives her a bikini and the chance to drink with teenagers.

Yet when she consumes a live worm, the hunger of being a hellbender opens her eyes and she soon learns exactly why her mother keeps her from others.

At first, I felt like this movie was kind of like seeing an opening act at a show and not feeling the first few songs that they play. It feels inauthentic. Not metal? Silly facepaint? And then before you know it, you’re nodding your head and feeling the urge to headbang by the end of the set. This film took some time to grow on me — The Deeper You Dig had some of the same issues — but when it works, it works.

The effects either look great for the budget or remind you of the budget, yet never feel like they’re organic to the film. That’s fine — this is a very DIY effort — and it actually becomes charming. I’ve never really trusted homeschooled kids who are too close to their parents, but maybe this is one of those families that gets the dynamic right.

The Arrow Video Blu-ray of this movie has extras including audio commentary with filmmakers Toby Poser, John Adams, Zelda Adams and Lulu Adams, a video essay by filmmaker Jen Handorf, a featurette on the visual effects by VFX artist Trey Lindsay, behind-the-scenes footage, a short film by Zelda Adams, four music videos, a trailer, a reversible sleeve featuring newly commissioned artwork by Beth Morris and original artwork by Sister Hyde and an illustrated collector’s booklet featuring new writing on the film by Natasha Ball and Kat Hughes. You can order this from MVD.

I have sworn not to go Amityville on these Popeye movies or the Mickey Mouse Steamboat Willie slashers and here I am, watching one.

Directed and written by Paul Stephen Mann, this takes place in 1986 — a strange choice, stay with it — as Olive Oyl (Amy Mackie) and her brother Castor (Brendan Nelson) go camping to watch Hailey’s Comet.

They already have Popeye and now they need a comet to land in his pipe and transform him?

Anyways, Popeye goes total Victor Crowley and rips heads off. He also likes to shit down their necks, which I don’t remember ever happening before. Toxic waste is another of his weapons. And then Olive Oyl uses the comet to build an Ash chainsaw and saws the sailor in half before making a robot hand.

Um, yeah.

I appreciate all the references to 80s movies, but it’s as if they were making a slasher and ended up using a character that first showed up in 1929. Because that’s precisely what they did.

This is 65 minutes, at least. And just like Robert Altman, Mann refuses to show Popeye eat spinach, because you know, why would you have him do something that he’s expected to do? No, just make a slasher. At least they balanced the colors and the sound isn’t bad.

You can watch this on Tubi.

New Religion (2022): Miyabi (Kaho Seto) has lost her daughter when she falls from the balcony, which puts her in a dark place, working as an escort in a basement somewhere with two other women. Sure, she has a new guy, but one of her co-workers — Aiwaza (Daiki Nunami) — loses her mind and kills a whole bunch of people with a knife.

One of Aiwaza’s prize clients — Oka (Satoshi Oka) — now needs someone to take care of his needs, so Miyabi takes over. His needs? He takes photos of women, slowly, strangely and in ways that make them feel like they’re being dissected. Yes, that’s strange. But what’s weird is that his house is either always pitch black or blindingly red. Strange enough? What if he had no vocal cords and now spoke through the sound system of his home at body-rattling volume? And what if, with each photo that Oka takes, Miyabi gets closer to seeing her dead daughter?

Also, none of this could be happening. Or all of it.

Directed and written by Keishi Kondo, this is not a movie to go into hoping for a straight-up horror film. But for those willing to journey toward its heart of darkness, there’s something strange and wonderful here.

Neu Mirrors (2025): “Neu Mirrors is a spin-off short film that attempts to answer certain unanswered questions of I and begins just after a scene in the previous film.”

Aizawa wakes up in a strange hotel room as a voice calls him from his earphone. Aizawa notices a man in a white shirt in the room with a photo book at his feet. There are the faces of many strangers and his own face printed on it.

Things don’t get any less weird from there.

This film takes on blue instead of red as its primary color. I love that it can be seen as an expansion or meditation on the past film or entirely on its own. Either way, director and writer Keishi Kondo is a force that creates otherworldly art.

Extras include an interview with the director, behind-the-scenes footage, outtakes, audio commentary on the film, an early concept version of the movie, a crowdfunding teaser, a trailer, an international trailer and a slipcase and reversible sleeves with original artwork for both films. You can buy this from Terra Cotta.

Based on the Richard Matheson novel and directed and written by David Koepp (who wrote I Come In Peace, Toy Soldiers, Jurassic Park and Carlito’s Way and directed Secret Window, Mortdecai and You Should Have Left), Stir of Echoes is about phone lineman Tom Witzky (Kevin Bacon), who can see and speak to the dead after being hypnotized by his sister-in-law Lisa (Illena Douglas). Now, he can see Samantha (Jennifer Morrison), a girl who has been missing for six months and who has been killed.

Koepp was afraid to show Mathson the script, as he was such a hero to him. The author said, “I’m sure he’s done a good job of it. I do know what he’s done before, and it’s quite good. He has a very good touch.”

When this came out, I’m sure many passed it off as a clone of The Sixth Sense, despite being written forty years before. Bacon is incredible in this and no one seems to remember just how good he is in it.

A SciFi sequel, Stir of Echoes: The Homecoming, came out in 2007. It has nothing to do with this movie to the point that if you told me that it was never planned to be a sequel and they stuck the name on it, I would believe you.

The Lionsgate release of this film has a 4K UHD disc and a Blu-ray disc. Extras include an audio commentary with writer/director David Koepp, interviews with Koepp, cinematographer Fred Murphy and director David Koepp, actress Kathryn Erbe, production designer Nelson Coates; making of featurettes; scene comparisons; screen tests; deleted scenes; trailers; TV ads and promos; a music video and more. You can order it from Diabolik DVD.

Lucy (Rosanna Arquette) and Monte (David Bowie) work at Dali, a super trendy NYC nightspot. They’re both in debt, underpaid and dealing with all sorts of weirdness in their lives when they make up their minds to join up with lingerie designer Viv (Eszter Balint) and rob their workplace. But they’d have to be good at being criminals to pull that off. They are nowhere near even OK.

Also released as The Incident,  Houdini and Company, The Robbery and Shag-O-Rama, this has some strange folks in it. Even the protagonist, Lucy, wants to be Houdini. Plus, the cast has several intriguing actors like Buck Henry, Marlene Matlin, Vivica Lindfors, Maura Tierney, Andre Gregory, Kathy Kinney and James Avery. Even Iman and Julian Lennon are in this.

There’s nothing really like it, so to get a better version of this after years of assembly cuts and producers’ versions is pretty cool.

Extras include an introduction by director Richard Shepard; commentary with Shepard, actors Rosanna Arquette and Eszter Balint, co-producer Sarah Jackson and co-screenwriter Tamar Brott, moderated by Cereal at Midnight host Heath Holland; commentary by Director Richard Shepard; a making-of; a photo gallery with commentary by Richard Shepard; director and theatrical cuts; a 2024 trailer; the original trailer; a limited edition slipcase and booklet with essays from film historian Graham Rinaldi and director Richard Shepard. You can order this film from MVD.