EDITOR’S NOTE: Strangest Dreams: Invasion of the Space Preachers was on USA Up All Night on March 1 and 2 and October 18, 1991 and June 20, 1992.

Directed and written by Daniel Boyd (Chillers), this is the story of dentist Walter Bennett (Jim Wolfe) and accountant Rick Lowery (Guy Nelson) who have gone on a vacation to the mountain cabin of Truman Gator (John Marshall). They want to prove that they’re real men, but all they find are rednecks in the wild and wonderful woods of West Virginia, the House of Dung, a rockabilly icon named Johnny Angel (John Riggs), his groupies Dreama (Stacy Weddington) and Rhonda (Piper Thayer), more rednecks that want some Gray Poupon — which I thought was fancy and beyond my family’s means as a kid only to learn that it only costs $3.99 a jar today — as well as a pond filled with nudists, two old people who have adopted a small adult as their child, a survivalist named Vic 20 (Jesse Johnson), Jimmy Walker (yes, the actor, playing himself) and Reverend Lash (Gary Brown), a radio evangelist whose sermons play 24 hours a day.

There’s also a spaceship that has crash landed. The alien survivor asks to be taken somewhere to rest and when the shell that covered the creature breaks away, it ends up being Nova (Eliska Hahn), who is more attractive as a female. The Reverend is also an alien with an army of bad guys that she has flown here to stop.

Boyd didn’t have much experience here and it shows. There are some ideas — as you can see above — but he’d get much better from this as Chillers is pretty fun. But even though this is rough, there’s just enough to keep it entertaining, like the idea of Elvis living in the Appalachians.

You can watch this on Tubi.

EDITOR’S NOTE: Night Eyes II was on USA Up All Night on October 5, 1996 — with Night Eyes 3 — and March 14, 1997.

Will Griffith (Andrew Stevens) is back and after the events of Night Eyes, he’s been hired to protect the mansion and life of South American diplomat Héctor Mejenes (Richard Chaves, Poncho from Predator). This being Will Griffith, he’s again thinking without his head and instead his crotch, as Mejenes’ wife Marilyn (Shannon Tweed) seduces him.

Directed by Rodney McDonald, who also made Night Eyes Four: Fatal Passion, and written by Simon Levy, Simon Louis Ward and Michael Levy from a story by Stevens — the supervising producer, too, taking charge of his erotic thriller career — this also has roles for the future Tuvok Tim Russ, Skull from Scarface Geno Silva and John O’Hurley.

Shannon Tweed probably pushed more boys into puberty when this ran on Cinemax and USA Up All Night than any sex symbol I can think of. The raspberries scene in this probably ruined just as many bedsheets when those boys grew up to be, well, boys and thought that that scene was the height of eroticism.

EDITOR’S NOTE: The Marilyn Diaries was on USA Up All Night on October 23, 1993 and July 8, 1994.

Ernest G. Sauer — using the name Eric Drake here — also made Breakfast In Bed, another Marilyn Chambers-starring softcore film that shares the same writing team as this movie, Don Shiffrin and Gary P. Conner. Sauer, Shiffrin and Chambers also teamed for Bedtime Stories, New York Nights, Bedtime Fantasies, Bikini Bistro, Fantasies Vol. 1 (Debbie Rochon is in that), Desire (Amy Lynn Baxter is also in that), Little Shop of Erotica (which has witchcraft and Veronica Hart), Naked Fairy Tales (again with Hart and 80s adult actress Raven) and Sex and the Girl Next Door. Sauer and Shiffrin also made Broadcast Bombshells (with Baxter and Rochon), Affairs of the Heart (which has New York Blue‘s Robin Byrd in it), Web of Desire (an early cybersex-themed softcore movie with Baxter), while Sauer on his own made Marilyn Chambers’ All Nude Peep Show, Incredible Edible Fantasies (Chambers and Juli Ashton from Night Calls is in that), Lusty Busty Fantasies (Chambers and Rochon), All My Best, and the Chambers-less The Naked Detective and Beauty School (which has Sylvia Kristel and Hart).

As you can see, the 80s and 90s were a big era for Marilyn Chambers to do movies that could play on Cinemax, Showtime and USA Up All Night. These movies often have similar casts and crew, like John Altamura, who was also the Toxic Avenger in the second and third movies. He’s also in Party Girls, the Chambers movie that gets reused in every one of her movies or so it seems.

In this movie, ex-lovers Jane (Tara Buckman) and Jim (Michael Rose) have reunited to look for the author (Chambers) of an erotic diary. This would be the part where the fog comes in and the sax solo begins.

Seriously, not a single person has written about this movie on IMDB or Letterboxd, it’s not available on any DVD or blu ray that I can find, it’s not streaming and it took a long time to even find a video to watch. Why would I spend so much time on it? Because, well, Tara Buckman was also in Night Killer and a host of Italian movies, so I’m fascinated by her. She was in a ton of TV shows to start her career (Buck Rogers, Quincy, Hart to Hart), the TV movie Death Car On the Freeway and then her big break in The Cannonball Run where she played Jill Rivers and drove the Lamborghini Countach with Marcie Thatcher (Adrienne Barbeau). She’s also in Silent Night, Deadly Night, Never Too Young to Die, Xtro II: The Second Encounter and two Joe D’Amato movies, Blue Angel Cafe and High Finance Woman. She was one of the last contract players Universal had, appearing in their TV series in the 70s and also having a regular role in the second season of Lobo. She finished up her acting career after making the Nico Mastorakis-directed Terminal Exposure, which has a cast that I love: John Vernon, Joe Estevez, and Hope Marie Carlton (Taryn from the Sidaris movies).

The cinematographer for this movie had quite the career. Larry Revene had more than a hundred camera operator and cinematographer credits, including Barbara Broadcast, Hot T-Shirts, The Devil In Miss Jones Part II, Hollywood Hot Tubs, Doom Asylum, Deep Throat II, Young Nurses In Love, Slammer Girls, New York’s Finest, Bedroom Eyes II, the Joe D’Amato movie The Crawlers and Charlton Heston Presents the Bible. He also directed Wanda Whips Wall Street.

EDITOR’S NOTE: Young Nurses In Love was on USA Up All Night on January 18 and 19 and August 10, 1991; April 10 and October 3, 1992; May 28 and November 20, 1993 and November 19, 1994.

As I near the end of USA Up All Night month, I felt that one more Chuck Vincent movie was needed. Young Nurses In Love takes its name directly from the 1982 movie Young Doctors In Love and references the poster art, but otherwise it is very much its own movie.

Nurse Ellis (Jeanna Marie, Deadly Impact, Prime Evil) is really a Russian spy here to steal the sperm of Edison and Einstein, much less Abraham Lincoln and George Washington — how did they keep sperm from the past cold so long? — and use it to make Russia smarter. Yet she falls in love with Dr. Reilly (Alan Fisler) all while the hospital seems to be falling to bits, including Dr. Spencer (Jamie Gillis!) giving a mob boss breasts in a screwed up plastic surgery.

There’s also an appearance by Toxic Avenger John Altamura, sex goddess Annie Sprinkle plays a character named Twin Falls and because this is a Chuck Vincent movie, Veronica Hart is in it.

This is a silly movie of hijinks and people having sex all over a hospital. It’s kind of like, well, The Hospital made by adult movie vets which I find hilarious because that film has cachet and a budget and this has Jamie Gillis being ridiculous.

You can watch this on Tubi.

EDITOR’S NOTE: Senior Week was on USA Up All Night on February 29 and October 2, 1992; September 10, 1993 and January 28, 1994.

Directed by Stuart A. Goldman — who mostly directed music-based movies and also produced Leona Helmsley: The Queen of Mean — and written by Jan Kubicki, Senior Week is led by Everett (Michael St. Gerard, who played Elvis in Great Balls of Fire! and the Elvis TV miniseries, as well as Link Larkin in Hairspray), who has hired someone else to write his final essay and gets caught by Mrs. Bagley (Barbara Gruen). She gives him another chance and he does the same thing, kidnapping the nerdy Jody (Gary Keer) to write his paper while everyone else parties at the beach, which brings Mrs. Bagely after Everett.

Our protagonist brings along his friends Jamie (George Robert Klek) and Kevin (Alan Naggar), which angers Jamie’s possessive girlfriend Tracy (Jennifer Gorey, Runway Dreams), who brings her friend Stacy (Leesa Zelkin) to hunt him down. Adding to the proceedings is that Everett promised Jody that he will find him a girl, which our geek does on his own by hooking up with Tracy’s cousin Debbie Sue. (Devon Skye).

This movie actually had some publicity, as the opening scene — filmed at New Jersey’s Palisades Park High School — had nudity in an actual school and it got principal Nicholas Rotonda suspended. Maybe the school board was wondering why someone was still making a teen sex comedy in 1987 in the time between the Porky’s clones and the American Pie clones. He was reinstated after his students protested and asked for their beloved principal — the kind of guy that had no problem with bare breasts in a teen comedy — be rehired.

You can watch this on Tubi.

Fantastic Fest 2023 was from September 21 to 28 and has so many movies that I can’t wait to see. You can learn more about this movie and when it is played here.

Bill (Martin Starr), his new wife (Amrita Acharia) and his kids Nora (Zoe Winther-Hansen) and Lucas (Townes Bunner) have all moved to Norway after a mysterious death in the family. As they work to transform the property into a bed and breakfast, they discover that there’s an elf (Kiran Shah)  living in the barn. He seems nice enough, he’ll help out and only asks that there are no major changes, no bright lights or any loud noises.

Of course things are going to go wrong.

Directed by Magnus Martens and written by Aleksander Kirkwood Brown, consider this another horror film for the holidays that you may add to your rotation. If you’ve ever wanted to see garden gnomes decimate human beings, well, this is for you.