April 30: Weird Wednesday — Write about a movie that played on a Weird Wednesday, as collected in the book Warped & Faded: Weird Wednesday and the Birth of the American Genre Film Archive. Here’s a list.

The sequel to If You Don’t Stop It… You’ll Go Blind!!!, this makes me remember when HBO used to show burlesque, which was weird after porno chic, as it was all these old comedians telling the same jokes and girls barely getting naked yet at the same time, you could go see full penetration adult movies. But this film, well, it’s dirty joke after dirty joke with some minor nudity. It was re-released three years after it first dropped because Robin Williams happens to be in before he was a star. That said, he wasn’t in the 1977 version. They went and found the cut footage and put it back out, leading to a lawsuit.

Speaking of stars, L.A. billboard icon Angelyne, Ron Jeremy, Tallie Cochrane (AKA Viola Reeves, Kay Geddes, Grace Turlie, Talia Wright, Silver Fox and Chick Jones) and Uschi Digard all show up.

Director I. Robert Levy went from editing 70s TV to making these two movies, writing it with Mike Callie and Mike Price. There’s nothing like this today, just a total piece of junk with a great title, better poster and an audience that was looking for something, anything, in the days before cable adult films.

You can watch this on YouTube.

April 29: Screw the Medveds — Here’s a list of the movies that the Medveds had in their Golden Turkey Awards books. What do they know? Defend one of the movies they needlessly bashed.

A word from Roger Ebert: “John Phillip Law is pretty bored in The Love Machine. He plays an artifact only slightly more animated than the monoliths in 2001: A Space Odyssey and symbolizing a great deal less. He is surrounded by a galaxy (or perhaps gallery is the word) of Hollywood character actors who seem as desperate as he is, and the final effect is of Search for Tomorrow on downers.

My notion is that you’ve either got to handle this material all-out or avoid it. There’s nothing more disgusting than vulgarity done as if it were in good taste. It’s hypocritical and it’s dirty. When you give junk like this an expensive production, with two Dionne Warwick songs and only four glimpses of the sound boom, you’re missing the elementary kind of vitality it could have had.”

Jacqueline Susann received $1.5 million for this movie and had hoped that Brian Kelly would be the lead. He was hurt before filming started, so John Phillip Law is in this, wearing clothes made for Kelly, which explains why they look strange on him. He plays Robin Stone, a newsman in New York City who wants to make it on Gregory Austin’s (Robert Ryan) IBC Network. This puts him in a TV war with Danton Miller (Jackie Cooper) and on the side of Austin, but also wanting the man’s wife Judith (Dyan Cannon). And can you blame him? 1971 Dyan Cannon? Is there anything better in all the universes?

To undermine the newscast with Robin hosting being on prime time, Dan hires Christie Lane (Shecky Greene) to appeal to the viewers who are the lowest common denominator. There’s also Jerry Nelson (David Hemings) working behind the scenes, getting Robin’s girlfriend Amanda (Jodi Wexler) hired, but she soon catches him in bed with someone else and ends up in Christie Lane’s bed.

Oh, the soap opera of this! Robin and Judith sleep together just as her husband has a heart attack, Robin blows off Amanda so many times that she kills herself, and he beats a prostitute to death when she claims that he’s gay. And maybe he is, as Jerry cleans it all up if Robin wears a slave bracelet saying that he’s owned by the fixer. Judith later finds this and gets into a fight against Jerry and gay actor Alfie Night (Clinton Greyn), but she’s saved by Robin, who ruins his own career to save her reputation.

Director Jack Haley Jr. directed awards shows and That’s Entertainment!, which may give you a hint that this is non-stop craziness. It was written by Samuel A. Taylor, who has many better films on his IMDB, such as Sabrina and Vertigo.

Robin Stone was based on MGM executive James T. Aubrey, who worked hard to gain power and then ultimately destroyed the studio. But for me, the main reason to watch this was that it has Cannon, Anitra Ford, Claudia Jennings and the Collinson twins in it.

There are also not one, but two Dionne Warwick songs. They’re both so sugary that you may go into a coma listening. There is no taste in this movie, and that’s how I want it. Just 1970s cringe in every turn. Magic.

You can watch this on Tubi.

April 28: Nightmare USA — Celebrate Stephen Thrower’s book by picking a movie from it. Here’s all of them in a list.

Directed and written by Nathan Schiff when he was just 16 — following it with The Long Island Cannibal Massacre and They Don’t Cut the Grass Anymore — this is the best home movie you’ve ever seen, if the home movie had giant weasels in it.

What is it with those trips to space? This time, instead of a Jupiter probe, an errant NASA spacecraft on the way back from Venus transforms a rabid weasel into a giant that lives to kill.

Named for a Mothers of Invention album, this goes even further, as Dr. Sendam uses the weasel to kill his enemies while studying its regenerative blood. Also: Everyone has a mustache.

Also also: weasel men are made, I Drink Your Blood style, by injecting people with tainted rabies blood.

$400, high schoolers, making it their way with puppets and model kits. What else could you need? This moves fast, is pretty dumb in the best of ways and has giant weasels eating human beings and an ending that had to be stolen from My Brother Has Bad Dreams with a shark that came out of a garbage can.

You can watch this on YouTube.

April 27: Kayfabe Cinema — A movie with a pro wrestler in it.

Made between Scream of the Demon Lover and Hell Comes to Frogtown, Donald Jackson directed this pro wrestling mockumentary based around Big Time Wrestling in Detroit and super villain The Sheik. It states that this came out in 1985, but it was filmed in the 1970s, long before pro wrestling gained popularity — it never wasn’t, despite what accepted WWE history may tell you — in the mid-1980s.

If you’re unfamiliar with the Detroit area, Ed Farhat was known as The Sheik, starting in 1947, after serving in World War II. Despite being a Maronite Catholic from Lansing, Michigan, in the world of wrestling, he became an Arab Muslim from the Syrian Desert. Managed by Abdullah Farouk — The Grand Wizard in WWF — he was quite different than other stars of his day, as he rarely wrestled and instead used weapons, chokeholds and fire. His most famous feuds would be with Bobo Brazil, Fred Blassie, the Funks, and Abdullah the Butcher.

Unknown to many fans was the fact that he ran both Toronto and Detroit wrestling, with his father-in-law, Francis Fleser, as his business partner and kayfabe owner. Until Big Time Wrestling faced issues after the 1973-1975 recession, they were running weekly live events and two to three TV shows a week, all in Detroit.

For example, booking was the main reason why shows really lost their draw, as well as losing wrestlers to other promotions. You’ll pick up on that formula booking in this, as no one beat The Sheik, even ex-NWA champs like Terry Funk, big box office names like Dusty Rhodes, and even Andre the Giant, who lost to The Sheik in Toronto.

In this film, there is a storyline about the Stop the Sheik Society, which features Joyce Farhat, the Sheik’s real-life wife and former valet, Princess Saleema. They keep begging anyone to defeat the madma,n and the only reason helosese to Ox Baker (he’s in Escape from New York) is because he gets sold out by his manager, Eddie Creachman, bringing back Abdullah Farouk.

There’s also “Bulldog” Bob Kent, who says the main line of this movie, “I like to hurt people.” Plus, Heather Feather, who wants to wrestle men. There’s no storyline — this is almost a mondo movie where things just seem to happen.

According to an interview with director of photography Bryan Greenberg, this was initially intended to be a horror movie called Ringside In Hell. Continuity was impossible with wrestlers coming in and out, so they decided to make a documentary. In that SLAM! Wrestling story, it’s explained that Greenberg had no idea the movie was going to be released until he saw it for sale. The article goes on to say, “Donald G. Jackson, director and producer of the film, had struck a deal with New World Video to sell movies he produced for New World’s new laserdisc line. New World funded Jackson to shoot additional footage in 1984, which is when “Stop the Sheik” footage was shot (for those who have seen the movie, no explanation is needed).”

I also discovered that cameraman Dennis Skotak would go on to work on special effects for films such as The Abyss, Aliens, Forbidden World, Galaxy of Terror, and more. There’s also a therapist in this, Sonya Friedman, who would go on to have a show on CNN, Sonya Live.

Other wrestlers that appear include Dick the Bruiser, Al Costello, Don Kent, Luke Graham, Abdullah the Butcher, Andre the Giant, The Funk Brothers and so many more. In a world where the past of wrestling is controlled, this serves as a reminder that it has always been popular, consistently drawn crowds, and has always featured unforgettable characters like The Sheik.

You can watch this movie on Daily Motion.