SLASHER MONTH: The Long Island Cannibal Massacre (1980)

The gore in this movie was pig intestines, fish heads and condoms. It was shot on a Super 8 camera by a 17 year old Nathan Schiff and his friends Fred Borges and John Smihula. And it starts with a girl being run over repeatedly with a lawnmower.

Yes, The Long Island Cannibal Massacre has no pretensions toward art, it just wants to help you get through this thing we call…life. There are two killers named Bruce and Zed who work for some unseen cannibals who speak like they’re Elder Gods, if the Elder Gods were voiced by Frank Welker.

Beyond the onslaught of gore that even Herschell Gordon Lewis would find a bit fake, this movie has a bit of class warfare in it, but not so much that it eclipses the best part of this movie: two men have a chainsaw battle with real chainsaws and probably none of the proper safety materials as tons of the chunky red stuff sprays all over the place.

I mean, sons of leper cannibals rising up against their fathers only to be decimated? Give me all of that. This movie is a million times better than it should be and it only cost $900 to make.

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