What happens when you want all the trappings of high society and immense wealth, but you possess absolutely zero work ethic to achieve any of it? You sneak into the back room of a humble, magical NYC shoemaker and try on footwear belonging to people who actually made something of themselves, ignoring the golden rule that the right shoes are meant for the right person.
Rob (Robert Romanus) is sweeping up the shop while whining to his boss, Anthony (Albert Hague). Anthony is a tranquil old-school artisan, perfectly content crafting footwear and living an honest life with his wife, Christina. Rob, on the other hand, constantly buys lottery tickets, fawns over high-society parties at the Waldorf-Astoria, and drags down his fiancée, Gail (Talia Balsam), whose modest five-year stint at a donut shop has netted a paltry $750 toward their future.
When Rob discovers that Anthony’s custom-made nails, heels and hammer are forged from a mysterious fantasy metal that sparks with magic, he realizes the truth: the shoes Anthony crafts allow anyone who wears them to literally step into the lives and successes of his clients. Instead of respecting the craft, Rob starts playing dress-up with other people’s destinies, sneaking off to crash elite parties where he rubs metaphorical shoulders with Liza Minnelli and Frank Sinatra.
Anthony eventually catches on—largely because Rob is sloppy enough to leave display lights burning and shoes facing the wrong direction in the back room. It leads straight into a pitch-black, classic horror downer ending. Dismissing Anthony’s warnings, Rob slips on one final pair of shoes belonging to a recently deceased bigshot named Mr. Coventry—who happens to be currently laid out and awaiting burial. As Coventry’s maid stops by the shop to update Anthony, Rob drops dead in the back room, leaving his smoking shoes behind and poor Gail completely unaware of her fiancé’s secret.
Armand Mastroianni (He Knows You’re Alone) directed this episode, and Ellen Sandhaus wrote it.
