Teen Lust, The Girls Next Door, High School Teasers, Mom Never Told Me and Police Academy Girls.
One movie, five titles.
Have you ever said, “I wonder what it would look like if Lo Pan directed a softcore teen sex comedy?”
Good news.
Carol (Kristin Baker, Island Fury, Friday the 13th Part 2) has a family made for one of these movies. A drunken mother (Dalene Young) who is sleeping around, a father (Stan Kamber, who wrote the porn Mafia Girls) who keeps reliving World War II and a brother who never leaves the house, she’s definitely not doing well. What’s a girl to do? Join the cops, so this does earn its later VHS-era cash-in title, Police Academy Girls.
This movie looks into the future, sees your trigger warnings and dunks on you repeatedly. Men like Officers Drury (Robert Gribbin) and Turner (Mike Heit, who was also a DEA agent in Delta Force 2) use their mentorship to get some? Treated as romantic. Pre-pubescent boys tearing off our heroine’s clothes? A laugh riot. A priest telling someone that, “All Hitler needed was a hug?” It’s there. It’s all there.
You can watch this as a different movie depending on the title:
- High School Teasers: De De (Lee Ann Barnes) is trying to steal virginal Carol’s boyfriend.
- Police Girls Academy: Carol and her girlfriend Neely (Leslie Cederquist) join a police work-experience program.
- Mom Never Told Me: Mom seduces George “Buck” Flower) before telling Dad that he isn’t the father of her children.
- Teen Lust: A bunch of elementary school kids ambush Carol while the People’s Court theme music plays. Or is that Barbara Broadcast?
It also has a soundtrack from Richard Hieronymus, who, yes, worked in adult films like Nothing to Hide, but also did the weird score for The Forest and music for Bury Me an Angel, Angels Die Hard, Angels Hard as They Come, The Astral Factor, Sweater Girls and episodes of The Jeffersons and Facts of Life.
Hong directed a few other movies: Hot Connections with Rene Bond, The Vineyard, Encyclopedia of Martial Arts: Hollywood Celebrities, a short called A James Hong Film and the Rena Riffel and Shannon Tweed-starring Scandalous Behavior. He also wrote an episode of Bachelor Father and was in one adult film, China Girl, as James Young.
Amazingly, this is on YouTube, breasts and all.
