EDITOR’S NOTE: The Stoned Age was on USA Up All Night on May 2 and December 27, 1997.
It’s 1980 in Torrance, California, and for Joe Connolly (Michael Kopelow) and Michael Hubbs (Bradford Tatum), the mission is simple: find beer, find a party and find girls. The story kicks off when an aggressive ex-convict, known only as Crump’s brother (Michael Wiseman), lets a local teen in on a tip about some girls partying over at Torrance Beach, right across from the house of teen idol Frankie Avalon. The word spreads fast, and soon our long-haired duo, Joe and Hubbs, are on the hunt.
What follows is an odyssey that has them battling gas station attendants, nerdy interlopers like the insistent Tack (Clifton Gonzalez-Gonzalez), and the gatekeepers of local house parties. Along the way, they meet their dream girl (she looks like the girl on the cover of The Scorpions’ Virgin Killer), Lanie (Renee Ammann), who sends them on a liquor store quest where Taylor Negron nearly sells them booze before the cops come in, and Jill (China Kantner, the daughter of Grace Slick and Paul Kantner), a jaded, intelligent hippie who eventually becomes the focal point of the night’s shifting dynamics. The film builds toward a chaotic climax involving house parties, police busts and a final, cathartic confrontation with Jill’s overbearing father, Warren. It’s a night where alliances are tested, hierarchies are challenged, and Joe eventually realizes that the cool he’s been chasing might not be what he thought it was.
The soundtrack is the beating heart of The Stoned Age. While the production team originally envisioned a heavy dose of Led Zeppelin, they struck gold by pivoting to Blue Öyster Cult’s hard rock anthems. The use of “(Don’t Fear) The Reaper” to frame the film’s bookends gives the movie a grand scale that belies its suburban setting. There’s also a meta-moment during the credits where actual Blue Öyster Cult members Eric Bloom and Buck Dharma appear as bootleg T-shirt scalpers.
Director James Melkonian and writer Rich Wilkes originally wrote this as a short in college. Melkonian would go on to direct and co-write Jerky Boys with Wilkes, who also wrote xXx and The Dirt.
This brought back a rare feeling from the VHS rental era, that of falling in love with a movie character and wishing they were real. Kantner’s Jill is absolutely perfect. I also love how deep this gets into Blue Öyster Cult, a band that may not have the audience of Zepelin but who fits this film well.
You can watch this on Tubi.
