22. FURGET ABOUT PATTERSON & GIMLIN: Watch a non-American sasquatch movie.
Also known as Sasquatch, this Canadian Sasquatch movie was directed and written by Jonas Quastel. It has Lance Henriksen as Harlan Knowles, the President and CEO of Bio-Comp Technologies. Along with Marla Lawson (Andrea Roth), an insurance person because that’s exciting and kids love underwriters, he’s searching for lost research equipment — and his daughter — in the wilds of Canada.
They also have a computer engineer named Plazz, insurance representative Marla Lawson, survivalist Winston Burg, forensic investigator Nikki Adams, and local mountain man Clayton Tyne to be in danger when Bigfoot rears his ugly head.
I really hope Lance Henriksen got paid really well for all the horrible movies that he did that aired on SyFy. I mean, the guy seems like a good dude and all, but I can only imagine he was forced — I mean, maybe he did them of his own free will, but it feels like forced — into movies like this.
There’s also a big business insider trading storyline and the last thing I want to think about when it comes time to watch skunk apes, yetis, Bigfoots and sasquatches. Nope. I just want to think about monsters running through the woods, not capitalism.