Monthly Archives: August 2022

POPCORN FRIGHTS: Do Not Disturb (2022)

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I had a friend that once said that he knew that if someone, anyone he knew would take pills that he found laying on the ground, it would be me. Well, maybe not after watching this.

Made-in-Florida, shot in Miami, infused with the madness that drugs like bath salts and Krokodil were supposed to unleash on all of us, this is the story of a honeymooning couple — Chloe (Kimberly Laferriere) and Jack (Rogan Christopher) — who are looking at all kinds of experiences to strengthen their relationship, from an abortive attempt at swinging to taking peyote that a near-lunatic blood covered man gives them on the beach before he literally walks into the ocean.

Soon, their not-so-perfect new marriage isn’t their only problem. Whatever the drug that’s in their system, it does more than cause them to dance all night. It awakens a desire for human flesh.

Do Not Disturb is a totally confident film that is as much about eating other human beings as it is about devouring them emotionally through a relationship that should have really run its course. So yeah, unlike all those death of a relationship movies that usually bore me, this one sung right at my heart, because of course some people deserve to be eaten and then the leftovers tossed into the surf.

Don’t miss this one.

Do Not Disturb debuted at Popcorn Frights. When I have more information on when it will be available to a larger audience, I’ll update this article.

CANNON MONTH 2: 2076 Olympiad (1977)

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How rare is this Cannon movie? Not only can I not find a place to watch it, I can’t even find poster art for it.

Here’s what I do know, thanks to director James R. Martin, who posted this on IMDB in 2008:

“2076 Olympiad is an unrated film, reviewed in Chicago by Variety. By today’s standards, it would probably be an “R.” There was a year-long fight with the MPAA about a rating that is a story by itself. It was my first attempt at making a fictional feature-length film.

2076 Olympiad was picked up by Cannon Pictures originally and previewed in a number of locations, but did not do well up against a similar comedy Groove Tube that came out at the same time. There seemed to be room for only one. We got the film back from Cannon and tried another distributor, Cambridge Films, and they previewed it in a couple venues including George Town in DC. Ultimately we got the film back from Cambridge as well.

The film is essentially a mockumentary and satire of television coverage of sports and the Olympics in the year 2076 when even sex has become a sport. It is presented as 90 minutes of TV coverage complete with commercials, promos, news, and PSA’s. The main hosts for the events include Sandy Martin (no relation) and another commentator who sounds like Howard Cosell. Other actors in the film have gone on in the industry.

In 2076, no one actually has sex anymore, they transmit their emotions electronically to machines that create simulated non-explicit images of the encounters for replay.

2076 Olympiad had its moments but it was episodic and needed a unifying character or plot to tie it all together. The humor is bawdy, and there is some nudity but no explicit sex. Probably if there had been the film would have been more successful. As it is the film’s humor is mostly slapstick and sophomoric but entertaining at times. Looking back it could have been edited a lot tighter.

It was shot in 35mm, in Philadelphia in two weeks. The budget was small bthe ut production value was very good and the film looks like it had much higher budget.

I transfered the 35mm film to video in the early 90’s but the video master and 2 VHS copies have been lost. I have 2 35mm release prints and am thinking about doing another transfer to a digital format for DVD if there’s enough interest to warrant the cost.”

James seems to be still alive and if he is — get in touch with me. I need to know more.

Another poster remarked that Martin taught at Columbia College. I have no idea as this is his only movie.

In the year 2076 — well, obviously right? — the Olympic Games are sponsored by companies and the broadcast rights have been sold to a sex channel, which that the top sports are all sexual. So yes, there’s the idea. Why wasn’t it called 2069 Olympiad? Well, I do know the Olympics are every four years and this was made in 1976, but let’s sell this movie.

Sandy Martin, who plays Shiela, has had quite the career with her most famous role being Grandma in Napoleon Dynamite. John LaMotta, Boris in this movie, was the lead in One More Chance, which was Sam Firstenberg’s first movie. He’s also in Firstenberg’s Revenge of the Ninja, Ninja III: The Domination, Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo and American Warrior, as well as playing Trevor Ochmonek on the TV show ALF.

There you go. 2076 Olympiad. The ball is in your court, Mr. Martin.

CANNON MONTH 2: The Ups and Downs of a Handyman (1975)

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Barry Stokes is in two kinds of movies: sex comedies and out there horror. On one hand, we have Norman J. Warren’s Outer Touch and the 1983 Fanny Hill. On the other, we have Norman J. Warren’s Prey, The Corruption of Chris Miller and bit parts in Hawk the Slayer and Enemy Mine.

Also going by the titles Confessions of a Handyman, Confessions of an Odd-Job Man and The Happy Housewives, this movie has Stokes play Bob, the hot young fixer upper of the village of Sodding Chipbury. Despite being married to Maisie (Gay Soper), he finds his way into the beds of nearly every other woman in town.

If you ever watched The Benny Hill Show, you’ll recognize Bob’s antagonist in this movie, Squire Bullsworthy. He’s played by Bob Todd, who was always the butt of Hill’s jokes. Helli Louise, one of Hill’s Angels, also shows up.

Another cast member worth checking out is Valerie Leon, who was known as the “English Raquel Welch.” She was in six Carry On films as well as two Bond movies, The Spy Who Loved Me and Never Say Never Again. She was also a reincarnated Egyptian queen in Hammer’s Blood from the Mummy’s Tomb. And hey! There’s Ava Cadell, Ava from the Andy Sidaris films!

While not connected to the Confessions of series (Confessions of a Window Cleaner, Confessions of a Pop Performer, Confessions of a Driving Instructor and Confessions from a Holiday Camp) — outside of the alternate title — this feels much like those movies. This was, however, intended to become its own series with a sequel being planned titled Ups and Downs of a Soccer Star.

CANNON MONTH 2: Slumber Party ’57 (1976)

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I always wondered, as a child of the 70s, why everyone cared so much about the 50s. Now, as an old man in the 2020s, I wonder why everyone cares so much about the 80s. Time is a flat circle.

Director William A. Levey made some wild movies. There’s Blackenstein for starters. How about the Harry Novak movie Wam Bam Thank You Spaceman? Or The Happy Hooker Goes to Washington? Not enough? How’s Skatetown U.S.A.? Or another Cannon movie, Lightning, the White Stallion? Hmm? Well, let me ask you, have you seen Monaco Forever, one of the first Van Damme movies? Or Hellgate, a rape revenge occult back from the dead movie with Arnold Horshack as one of the leads?

He also wrote the story for this movie (actor Frank Framer did his only scriptwriter on this), a tell-all about how some 50s girls lost their virginity. That said, this isn’t a Her Secret Garden movie. It’s still a softcore sex romp for guys, as evidenced by the sapphic barnyard scene and underwater camera that gets all the angles, like a pervert at an Irving Klaw camera club. Oh yeah, there’s also a scene where the girls discuss how much they like when their dads spank them.

I don’t want to be high and mighty here. After all, I can appreciate the charms of the leads: a very young Debra Winger, even before she was Wonder Girl in that backdoor Wonder Woman pilot, and in her book Undiscovered, she will only say of this movie “A cigar-smoking agent had signed me while I was waitressing, but that only resulted in a blue movie.”; Noelle North from Carrie and Blood Song; Pamela Wood — Janet from Terror at Red Wolf Inn; Superchick herself Joyce Jillson, Bridget Holloman from Evils of the Night; Mary Appleseth of Planet of the Dinosaurs and most essentially, Cheryl Rainbeaux Smith, the sadly lost former Runaway who was in everything from Lemora and Caged Heat to Massacre at Central High, the Michael Pataki-directed softcore Cinderella and Vice Squad.

If you want a movie with Joe E. Ross playing his Car 54, Where Are You role as well as near wall-to-wall nudity — as well as a drive-in scene where the kids go to see Cauldron of Blood which wouldn’t come out for thirteen years after this — well, here it is.

What’s playing at Fantastic Fest 2022?

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There’s only one place where you’ll find killer teddy bears, man-eating sharks, elderly zombies, cocktail-serving robots, and Park Chan-wook… all under one roof. That’s right, world-famous genre festival Fantastic Fest is back for its seventeenth edition featuring 21 world premieres, 14 North American premieres and 21 U.S premieres.

The festival will once again take over the Alamo Drafthouse South Lamar in Austin, TX from September 22 – 29 and on the web via a virtual FF@Home experience from September 29 – October 4.

Badges are available now at FantasticFest.com.

The opening night film for Fantastic Fest 2022 is the world premiere of Paramount Pictures’ Smile. Plus, Fantastic Fest will honor Park Chan-wook (Oldboy, Snowpiercer, The Handmaiden) and premiere his new movie, Decision to Leave. He will also be at Fantastic Fest 2022 in person to accept a lifetime achievement award from Fantastic Fest in celebration of his mind-bending, artfully-crafted body of work.

The closing night film at Fantastic Fest 2022 will be director Ruben Östlund’s Palme d’Or-winning pitch black comedy from Neon, Triangle of Sadness. Other major studio films include The Menu, The Banshees of Inisherin, Bones and All, Medusa Deuxe and Sick.

Other world premieres include Blood Relatives, Kids vs. Aliens and Satanic Hispanics.

If you’re not coming to Austin, FF@Home is how Fantastic Fest 2022 will be a hybrid festival that offers in-person and virtual screenings. The Burnt Ends lineup will headline the online festival, with programming that seeks to champion eccentric and obscure indie cinema. Two in-person screenings will introduce audiences at South Lamar to the new series The People’s Joker and All Jacked Up and Full of Worms. The rest of this virtual lineup will be announced at a later date, featuring a selection of films from this year’s in person fest and will also include virtual exclusives such as a retrospective of cult DIY filmmakers Matt Farley and Charles Roxburgh’s Motern Media movies.

There’s also a series called Shark Attack curated by American Genre Film Archive that will include the American premiere of Year of the Shark plus Tintorera (using Quentin Tarantino’s 35mm print!), Aatank, Gamera vs. Zigra, Mako: The Jaws of Death and 12 Days of Terror.

In-person parties will also be back with a special performance in The Highball from the experiential sonic band Itchy-O, Roboexotica bringing their famous cocktail-concocting robots to astonish and amuse, live podcasts with Leonard Maltin, Scripts Gone Wild, The Kingcast and Screen Drafts, Joe Pickett and Nick Prueher of The Found Footage Festival fame perform a live show after their documentary Chop & Steele, as well as Fantastic Fest essentials like 100 Best Kills, the Fantastic Feud and the Fantastic Debates.

AGFA has gone all out for this year’s festival, with the debut of their theater takeover. For two days of the fest, AGFA has free reign and will play mind-melting films from morning to night, featuring premieres of new restorations the first day and a whiplash-inducing celluloid mystery marathon with five features and ten fingers on the trigger the second day. They will also debut Terminal USA and The Stairway to Stardom Mixtape.

Fantastic Fest 2022 will play 85 feature film titles and episodics, as well as a variety of short film selections to be announced at a later date showcasing World, North American, U.S. and regional premieres.

Here’s what’s playing:

12 Days of Terror (2004): During the record-breaking summer heat of 1916, beachgoers on the Jersey shore are threatened by a shark that has developed a taste for human flesh. Director Jack Sholder will be at Fantastic Fest 2022 live!

Aatank (1996): A gangster’s hunt for black pearls sparks a series of vicious shark attacks. No diver, boat, or helicopter is safe in this B-grade Bollywood oddity.

All Jacked Up and Full of Worms (2022): A psychedelic journey of self-discovery leads to romance when a man shares his addiction to psychotropic worms… and Chicago will never be the same.

Amazing Eliza (2022): In the aftermath of a horrific accident, Elisa believes that she’s been given super powers and will stop at nothing to avenge her mother’s death. Director Sadrac Gonzalez-Perellon will be in attendence.

The Antares Paradox (2022): An astrophysicist working for the SETI project risks her career and family to verify an extraterrestrial radio signal before her access is cut off. Director Luis Tinoco Pineda will be in attendence.

Attachment (2022): Maja and Leah’s relationship is off to a great start, but they face two perilous threats: the whims of a Jewish demon and Leah’s overbearing mother. Director Gabriel Bier Gislason will be in attendence.

Bad CIty (2022): A jailed cop is released to lead a crack unit against a corrupt businessman in this bone-crunching dust-up starring V-cinema legend Hitoshi Ozawa.

The Banshees of Inisherin (2022): Two lifelong friends find themselves at an impasse when one abruptly ends their relationship, with alarming consequences for both of them. Director Martin McDonagh will be in attendence.

Birdemic 3: Sea Eagle (2022): The birds are back, and global warming has them roiled! James Nguyen returns with the director’s cut of his thrilling, romantic and worthy sequel. He will also attend Fantastic Fest 2022.

Blood Flower (2022): A psychic teenage boy battles a bloodthirsty, malevolent spirit in this gory Malaysian horror movie.

Blood Relatives (2022): A nomadic recluse living on the fringes of society reconsiders his bloodthirsty legacy when a teenage girl shows up claiming to be his daughter. Director Noah Segan will be in attendence.

Chop and Steele (2022): After pranking unsuspecting morning show hosts, the brains behind the beloved Found Footage Festival earn the ire of a major media conglomerate.Directors Ben Steinbauer and Berndt Mader and Found Footage Festival’s Joe Pickett and Nick Prueher wwill be in attendence; this is the movie I want to see the most from the fest!

Country Gold (2022): Mickey Reece is back at Fantastic Fest with this new movie, which has rising star Troyal Brux spending an evening with his idol George Jones, unaware that the country music legend has a rather cold deadline the following morning.

Decision to Leave (2022): Laced with wicked humor, master filmmaker Park Chan-wook — who will be at Fantastic Fest 2022 — has created a dazzlingly cinematic romantic thriller that surprises and delights to the very last.

Deep Fear (2022): Three friends are caught between a skinhead gang and an otherworldly enemy after discovering a forgotten secret in the depths of the Paris Catacombs.

Demigod: The Legend Begins (2022): Martial arts, magic, and marionettes collide in a dazzling kaleidoscope of blood-spattered puppetry in this one-of-a-kind wuxia spectacular.

Disappear Completely (2022): After sneaking onto a crime scene to snap pictures of a corpse, an ambitious photographer stumbles into a curse that takes away his senses one by one.

The Elderly (2022): An octogenarian starts behaving weirdly in the wake of his wife’s sudden suicide as he prepares for events leading up to a mysterious apocalypse.

Everyone Will Burn (2022):  Director David Hebrero will be in attendence to debut his new iflm in which a mysterious young girl interrupts María José’s suicide attempt, offering the power to take revenge on the villagers responsible for her son’s death.

Evil Eye (2022): Director Isaac Ezban and actor Paola Miguel bring this new movie to Fantastic Fest 2022. Left in the care of their eccentric grandmother, Nala discovers that the tough old lady has sinister plans for her chronically ill sister, Luna.

Family Dinner (2022): In director Peter Hengl’s– who will be there in person — new movie, an insecure teenager begs her nutritionist aunt for help shedding weight over the Easter holiday, unaware of how extreme the diet plan will become.

Final Cut (2022): Oscar-winning French director Michel Hazanavicius’ meta-remake of the Japanese cult movie One Cut of the Dead manages a little tour de force. I can’t wait to see if this movie can pull off being as good — or even better — than the beloved original.

The Five Devils (2022): A young girl’s ability to smell and reproduce any scent transports her into her family’s troubled past in this gorgeous, magical realist drama.

FleshEater (1988): Pittsburgh represent! AGFA is bringing first zombie Bill Hinzman’s spiritual sequel to Night of the Living Dead to Fantastic Fest 2022, newly restored in 4K from the original 16mm camera negative by Vinegar Syndrome.

Flowing (2022): A broken family violently confronts their tragic past as the Roman sewers exhale a hallucinatory toxin that revives repressed memories and fears. Director Paolo Strippoli will be in attendence.

Gamera vs. Zigra (1971): A classic case of mutated, talking murdershark vs. nuclear turtlebeast when Japanese cinema’s second-most iconic reptile takes on an oceanic threat!

Garcia! (2022):  On the hunt for a scoop that could secure her a job, a journalist intern inadvertently awakens a superhuman agent created by Franco’s regime. Director Eugenio Mira will be in attendence.

Give Me Pity (2022): Sissy St. Clair’s debut television special, a variety show evening of music and laughter, quickly curdles into a psychedelic nightmare.

H4Z4RD (2022): When Noah Hazard volunteers to drive his beloved gold Lexus to help his jailbird cousin pick up a friend from prison, he doesn’t expect to be drawn into a murderous drug war.

Holy Spider (2022): A female journalist descends into an Iranian city’s underbelly to investigate a serial killer stalking sex workers to cleanse the streets of sinners.

Huesera (2022): An expectant young mother confronts her past demons in Michelle Garza Cervera’s — who will be at Fantastic Fest 2022 — creepy mash-up between a folk ghost story and an anxiety attack.

Hunt (2022): Rival KCIA agents hunt for an elusive North Korean spy in this ‘80s espionage thriller, the explosive directorial debut from Squid Game’s Lee Jung-jae.

Joint Secuity Area (2000): Presented by AGFA. Arrow Film’s new restoration of Park Chan-wook’s explosive exploration of the madness of war set in the DMZ between North and South Korea.

Kids vs. Aliens (2022): Jason Eisener will come to Fantastic Fest 2022 with his long-awaited follow-up to Canuxploitation classic Hobo With a Shotgun, which pits a group of moviemaking pals against sinister alien invaders.

King On Screen (2022): Director Daphné Baiwir brings a new documentary exploration of the many screen adaptations of the work of Stephen King to Fantastic Fest 2022.

La Pieta (2022): A terminal cancer diagnosis upends a claustrophobic mother-son relationship in Spain’s auteur of weirdness, Eduardo Casanova’s sophomore film. Casanova will be in attendence.

The Legacy of the Texas Chain Saw Massacre (2022): Fest alumnus Phillip Escott resturns to present a journey into The Texas Chain Saw Massacre, exploring the elements that garnered the film its cult status.

Leonor Will Never Die (2022): Director Martika Ramirez Escobar will be in attendence to present this film, which is the story of a falling TV that hits Leonor on the head and sends her in the action movie she’s writing. There’s just one problem: she hasn’t finished the script.

A Life on the Farm (2022): Director Oscar Harding and executive producers Joe Pickett and Nick Prueher will be on hand to show this often macabre deep dive into the inspiring legacy of the long-lost home movies of a filmmaking farmer’s life in rural Somerset, England.

Living With Chucky (2022): Director Kyra Gardner, the daughter of one of Chucky’s puppeteers, brings this doc to Fantastic Fest 2022, which examines the family relationships that contributed to the success of the queer camp classic Child’s Play.

Lynch/Oz (2022): Documentary filmmaker Alexandre O. Philippe dissects director David Lynch’s lifelong obsession with The Wizard of Oz.

Mako: The Jaws of Death (1976): A rabidly anti-human Vietnam vet cranks his telepathic shark-bond to 11 in William Grefe’s lethally entertaining shipwreck of Jaws and Carrie.

Manticore (2022): Spanish cult director Carlos Vermut returns to the festival with an unsettling, intimate portrait of a real-life monster tortured by a grim secret.

Medusa Deluxe (2022): Director Thomas Hardiman brings this film to Fantastic Fest 2022 in which tensions and hairspray run high when a stylist is murdered at an elite hairdressing competition where a passion for extravagance borders on obsession.

The Menu (2022): Director Mark Mylod premieres this film at Fantastic Fest 2022! A couple (Anya Taylor-Joy and Nicholas Hoult) travels to a coastal island to eat at an exclusive restaurant where the chef (Ralph Fiennes) has prepared a lavish menu, with some shocking surprises.

Missing (2021): A distraught daughter searches for her widower father after he disappears while trying to collect the reward for capturing an unknown serial killer.

Mister Organ (2022): Director David Farrier brings this movie to Fantastic Fest, in which he pushed himself to the limit of sanity investigating fraudulent car clamping in Auckland.

The Nightmare (2022): Mona’s domestic bliss with her devoted boyfriend unravels as her night terrors intensify, but attempts at lucid dreaming reveal something sinister.

Nightsiren (2022): Šarlota returns home decades after losing her sister in an accident, only to be faced by the brutal village patriarchy and accusations of witchcraft.

Nothing (2022): Directors Trine Piil and Seamus McNally will be at Fantastic Fest with the international premiere of their film in which a group of teenage classmates face an existential crisis, pushing them into darker and darker territory as they confront the meaninglessness of life.

The Offering (2022): Director Oliver Park brings this film to Fantastic Fest, in which a desperate man defends his unborn child from an ancient demon brought into their family-owned, Hasidic funeral home inside a mysterious corpse.

Oink (2022): A young girl suspects that her estranged butcher grandfather has sinister plans for the adorable piglet he has given her as a birthday gift.

One and Four (2021): A Tibetan forest ranger must deduce who among the three visitors seeking refuge in his cabin from a coming blizzard are poachers and who are cops.

The People’s Joker (2022): The Joker finds new purpose in Gotham City after transitioning and opening an illegal comedy club in Vera Drew’s handcrafted superhero genre parody.

Piggy (2022): Director Carlota Pereda brings this film to Fantastic Fest, which asks, when a bullied girl’s tormentors are kidnapped, she faces the ultimate moral test: Does she help or allow them to suffer as payback?

Project Wolf Hunting (2022): On the choppy seas between Manila and Busan, violent convicts run amok on a hellish cargo ship in this blood-soaked slice of maritime carnage.

Satanic Hispanics (2022): Directors Mike Mendez, Demian Rugna, Eduardo Sanchez, Gigi Saul Guerrero and Alejandro Brugues bring this anthology of five crazy and original shorts from five entertaining Hispanic directors to Fantastic Fest.

Shin Ultraman (2022): Ultraman descends from space after Japan suffers a devastating series of kaiju attacks in this homage to the classic, genre-defining TV series.

Sick (2022): As the pandemic steadily brings the world to a halt, Parker and her best friend Miri decide to quarantine at the family lake house alone – or so they think. Based on a story by Kevin Williamson.

Sick of Myself (2022): Fueled by a need for attention, Signe plays a perverse game of one-upmanship with her boyfriend, popping a drug that causes a painful skin condition.

Smile (2022): Director Parker Finn brings this new film to Fantastic Fest. After witnessing a bizarre, traumatic incident involving a patient, Dr. Rose Cotter starts experiencing frightening occurrences that she can’t explain. As an overwhelming terror begins taking over her life, Rose must confront her troubling past in order to survive and escape her horrifying new reality.

Smoking Causes Coughing (2022): Five anti-smoking avengers are forced to take a mandatory team-building retreat in Quentin Dupieux’s absurdist take on the superhero genre.

Solomon King (1974): Think twice before you mess with Solomon King! Deaf Crocodile’s meticulous restoration of Sal Watts’ ‘70s cult classic will soon be your new favorite.

Something In the Dirt (2022): Directors Justin Benson and Aaron Moorhead are in person to show their film in which a pair of Los Angeles misfits’ investigation into the city’s occult history sends them down a rabbit hole that threatens their friendship and sanity.

Spoonful of Sugar (2022): Desperate for connection, Millicent enmeshes herself in the lives of a dysfunctional family as her disturbing, LSD-fueled hallucinations grow violent.

The Stairway to Stardom Mixtape (2022): Culled from more than 15 hours of footage, AGFA presents the definitive cut of public access TV’s most otherworldly show. I can’t wait for this!

The Strange Case of Jacky Calliou (2022): Jacky has his grandmother’s gift of healing, but when a woman turns up on his doorstep with an unusual problem, he must decide how far he’ll go for love.

Swallowed (2022): Director Carter Smith and actor Mark Patton bring this movie to Fantastic Fest. Forced to mule drugs on their crossing of the southern US border, two friends realize that the packages they ingested seem to be alive.

Terminal USA (1993): Jon Moritsugu’s genre-melting underground classic, newly restored from the original camera negative by AGFA.

Terrifier 2 (2022): Resurrected by occult forces, Art the Clown returns to wreak bloody havoc on the residents of Miles County, targeting a frazzled mother and her kids.

Tintorera! (1977): They say this is about “A tiger shark disrupts two best friends’ blissful plans to enjoy life in the Caribbean in this Mexican sharksploitation classic from 1977,” but we all know it’s about a British woman being the unicorn to two Mexican shark hunter’s forbidden love.

Triangle of Sadness (2022): In Ruben Östlund’s wickedly funny Palme d’Or winner, social hierarchy is turned upside down, revealing the tawdry relationship between power and beauty. Celebrity model couple, Carl and Yaya are invited on a luxury cruise for the uber-rich, helmed by an unhinged boat captain. What first appeared instagrammable ends catastrophically, leaving the survivors stranded on a desert island and fighting for survival.

Tropic (2022): Director Edouard Salier will be in attendance with this film about an extraterrestrial substance that cripples an aspiring young astronaut, forcing his twin brother out of his shadow to continue his training alone.

Ultraman 4K (1966): Four episodes from the brand new 4k restoration of the original Ultraman television series.

Unicorn Wars (2022): After a bloody defeat in their apocalyptic war against the Unicorns, the Teddy Bear army launches a desperate attack in the heart of the magic forest.

Unidentified Objects (2022): Director Juan Felipe Zuleta brings this film to Fantastic Fest in which an internet sex worker convinces her reclusive neighbor to road-trip across North America for a rendezvous with visitors from a distant galaxy.

V/H/S/99 (2022): Directors Maggie Levin and Tyler MacIntyre bring the found footage anthology’s latest scare package to Fantastic Fest to rewind the tape back to 1999 with bloody tales set against the end of the millennium.

Venus (2022): Injured in an attempt to steal from her boss, Lucía hides with her sister, unaware that something’s very wrong with the rundown building’s residents. Director Jaume Balagueró will be at Fantastic Fest 2022.

Vesper (2022): Directors Kristina Buožytė and Bruno Samper bring this film to Fantastic Fest. In a post-apocalyptic world, a peasant girl’s encounter with an oligarch’s lost daughter leads to a discovery that could reverse ecological collapse.

Video Diary of a Lost Girl (2012): AGFA presents a new preservation of DIY filmmaker Lindsay Denniberg’s hypercolored, VHS-inspired horror valentine.

The Visitor from the Future (2022): A snarky time traveler from the year 2555 arrives to save the world from ecological disaster by attempting to assassinate a climate activist’s father.

We Might As Well Be Dead (2022): When a dog disappears from a secluded high-rise building, fear spreads among the residents, threatening to turn their utopia into Absurdistan.

A Wounded Fawn (2022): Director Travis Stevens and actors Sarah Lind and Josh Ruben are at Fantastic Fest 2022 with this film. Bruce is erudite, handsome, and charming… but he’s also a psychotic serial killer urged to violence by the gigantic red owl that lives in his head.

Year of the Shark (2022): A maritime police sergeant-major spends her last days before retirement in the relentless pursuit of the shark terrorizing her small beach town.

Camping Trip (2022)

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Two couples — Enzo (Leonardo Fuica), Polly (Caitlin Cameron), Ace (Alex Gravenstein) and Coco (Hannah Forest Briand) have left for a COVID-19 era camping trip with the dream of escaping lockdown and enjoying the beauty of the woods. But even though they feel all alone, they’re not. Instead, they’re near Orick (Michael D’Amico) and Billy (Jonathan Vanderzon), two criminals who have just killed a man named Doc (Ben Pelletier) who claims that he has cured COVID-19. 

You know what happens next: They find the man’s dead body. And the cure to COVID-19. And the criminals who want to kill them. And, of course, you know what I always say: stay out of the woods.

Directed by Demian and Leonardo Fuica (Leonardo also wrote the script and stars as Enzo), this movie kind of grinds to a halt once the campers decide to celebrate instead of getting out with their money and the cure. You know, once you find a treasure, secure it.

That said, if you want to watch some campers do the wrong thing for most of the movie, well…I can;t stop you.

Camping Trip is available by digital download from Gravitas Ventures.

CANNON MONTH 2: Mako, The Jaws of Death (1976)

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EDITOR’S NOTE: This is the third time this movie has been on the site, but it fits into the second Cannon month as they released it across the county. This last appeared on November 27, 2020.

The Florida-based director William Grefe has brought many swamp-tinged bits of exploitation goodness — or badness — to the screen, such as Alligator Alley, The Wild Rebels, The Hooked Generation and so many more. As one of the first films made to take advantage of the shark craze in the way of Spielberg’s success, this film’s sympathetic view of sharks as victims is a pretty unique take on the genre.

Marine salvager Sonny Stein (Richard Jaeckel, who pretty much had a one-man war against nature with him battling bats in Chosen Survivors, bears in Grizzly and, well, any and all beasts with a chip on their shoulder in Day of the Animals) is given a medallion that allows him to communicate with sharks. He becomes increasingly disconnected from humanity — easy to do, everyone in this movie is scum — and uses his sharks to take out those who go against his beliefs.

One of those people is an incredibly chubby club owner who is using high-frequency sound to train his sharks, as well as kind of pimping out his wife Karen (Jennifer Bishop, Bigfoot) to get Sonny on their side. Have you ever seen a movie where strippers have been trained to swim with sharks? Who would want to see that? This movie provides the what, if not the why.

Another is a shady shark researcher that murders a shark and her pups. You will stare unbelieving at the screen while Jaeckel overly emotes as he clutches a dead baby shark in his mitts. Oh yeah — Harold “Oddjob” Sakata is also in this.

The stunt footage is pretty amazing and even gets a mention before the movie even begins. Other than the weird premise and a few good scenes, you can nap through most of this and not feel bad.

CANNON MONTH 2: Little Girl… Big Tease (1976)

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Sixteen-year-old Virginia Morgan (Jody Ray) has been kidnapped by two men — J.D. (Robert Furey) and Dakota (Phil Dendone)– and her high school economics teacher Alva Coward (Mary Mendum using the alias Rebecca Brooke; she’s also in Cherry Hill High, The Groove Tube and Joe Sarno’s Confessions of a Young American Housewife). All three of them end up in bed with her, whether by force from the musclebound Dakota, being seduced by Alva or falling for the leader, J.D. Actually, young Virginia ends up getting into a poly relationship — a quad — with all of them and has no intention of going back to her rich daddy.

The disturbing part is that Virginia acts as if she’s not even near puberty, despite having a boyfriend, and the movie ends as the cops find her left behind all tied up and we see a montage of every single one of her sex scenes as she hugs her father, then the camera zooms in on her innocent face.

Director Roberto Mitrotti mostly made documentaries after this. While this movie may think you’re about to watch something on the level of The Candy Snatchers, this seems to stick more to softcore than a movie out to upset you.

CANNON MONTH 2: The Zebra Force (1976)

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Oh man, this movie.

Lt. Claymore (Clay Tanner) had his face scarred, lost his voice — he has a robot-sounding one now — and his right arm lost thanks to Vietnam, but now that he’s back in the U.S., he’s gathered his old Army friends to either get rich quick or clean up the neighborhood or both — he makes them flush heroin down the crapper and says, We’re not in this to hurt society but to rid society of some of its scum and of course we reap the profit.” — by having them wear masks that make people believe they’re black when they’re white and rob the mob.

Yes, this is the plot of the movie.

To make it even stranger, the masks are really just black actors playing the role and then when the mission ends, they take off the mask and are white actors.

Then, a mob boss named Salvatore (Anthony Caruso) hires Carmine Longo (Mike Lane) from Detroit and teams him with his best assassin Charlie DiSantis (Richard X. Slattery) to take out the Zebra Force, which is as problematic a name — and movie — as you can get.

Writer, director and producer Joe Tornatore did acting and stunts before this movie, choosing it as his debut. He also made a sequel in 1987, Code Name Zebra, and also was behind Grotesque, one of the oddest horror movies I’ve ever seen.

Somehow, RC Cola paid to have their product all over this film. I can only imagine how they felt when they watched it. I’d like to imagine a packed screening room full of soda pop executives and their families just stunned into absolute madness.

An editorial on loving movies

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Far be it for me to tell you how to enjoy movies, but I’ve been noticing a few things and while I avoid group posting and saying things like, “Hey Mutant Fam” or “#filmtwitter,” I just wanted to explain a few things about my love of film and how I hope it can help you enjoy movies in your own way.

Also, because I’m a curmudgeon, it’ll probably be mean in places but that’s me tearing off the band-aid to help you, trust me.

Stop these: so bad it’s good, guilty pleasure, embarrassing films I like.

This phrase immediately makes me tune out on anything you have to say forever after you say it. You’re disqualifying your taste. You’re saying that a film that entertained you wasn’t worthwhile. Escape the need to explain your taste. Admit it: sometimes you like a movie that other people will make fun of you for liking. Sometimes, if you’re me, you hold the films of Andy Sidaris, Jess Franco, Bruno Mattei and Joe D’Amato in the esteem that others reserve for François Truffaut. If I was worried about embarrassment…

Something I need to stop: saying that the films I love are stupid.

It’s a term of endearment at times and at others, a lot of the movies that I adore do some really, really insipid things. But isn’t that why I enjoy them? I want Italian exploitation to punch me in the brain and balls. I want it to make me feel something. Often, the phrase movie drugs gets used in the way that I discuss film. I’m basing that on the writing of Stephen Thrower, who has commented that watching Fulci’s films gave the same serotonin rush as doing hard drugs. It puts your mind in a new place, it allows you to expand your consciousness and it changes you. So yes, those slow-moving Fulci spiders may seem dumb. The people just waiting to die may appear corny. But if you love it, you love it. I’m speaking — again — to myself.

I don’t want to choose.

What is the social media obsession with “You can only keep one of these movies?” Fuck that. You should watch every movie you can. You should absorb them, love them or hate them and use the experience to grow. Why would you close yourself off, even in a fantasy argument?

Make up your own mind.

I will for the life of me never understand people who post, “Will I like this movie?”

Who knows! By experiencing a movie that you dislike, you are creating the valleys for your peaks. You may see something you enjoy even if you hate the final film. But you need to watch it. I myself have been guilty in my life as to being a hater; I often see a trailer and instantly wonder, “Who the fuck is that for?” But the truth is, as I get older, I can admit that there are just some movies that perhaps are not for me and why should I ruin it for anyone else? You know, except Scream, because fuck that film series for all time.

Get over budgets.

The joy of working on the commentary tracks for Visual Vengeance’s releases is understanding that the budget doesn’t matter. Do special effects have to be perfect or are you watching the movie to laugh or be entertained? You shouldn’t expect regional or low budget films to look the same as a movie that wasted millions to look uncanny valley perfect.

The Medveds and their ilk made fun of Ed Wood because he used hubcabs as UFOs. Well, he did something. He made something. If you get caught in the right mindspace, the cheapest effect is just a tool to move the story forward and bring you into the world the filmmakers are creating.

Get obsessed.

I don’t expect people to watch as many movies as I do, but I do invite you to fall in love with cinema. Instead of asking, “Will I like a Lucio Fulci movie?” watch one. Tubi is out there, for free, with so many of his movies. And you know what? You might hate that movie you watched. Cool. It’s not for you. So what else is for you? If you decide that you love Hollywood blockbusters, it’s fine. Get into them. Watch them. Discuss them. Make them your genre.

Remember, above all else, there’s no such thing as a bad movie unless it’s boring.

XOXO,

Sam