JESS FRANCO MONTH: Sadomania (1981)

No, no, not Sodomania and its long dark journey down a tunnel of love. That’s different.

Jess Franco’s Sadomania is all about the wacky hijinks that ensue when Olga (Uta Koepke) and Michael (Ángel Caballero) find their honeymoon — who goes to the desert on their wedding trip? — trespasses on the grounds of Magda Urtado (Ajita Wilson, Escape from Hell, who was born George Wilson) and her resort boot camp Sadomania, a place where topless women abuse other nude women because they’re in a Jess Franco movie.

Michael is told to leave while Olga does time and gets turned out as a call girl and the top client is the governor (of course it’s Antonio Mayans) who can only perform with his wife while watching a strange scene that feels like it came right out of a Joe D’Amato movie if you know what I mean and I think you do, as a friend from Texas says.

There’s also women being chased, another Franco favorite, along with plenty of torture and eventually, Olga’s man remembers that he needs to rescue her. Anything to get out of digging holes for no reason in the desert with Tara (Ursula Buchfellner) and Conita, who battles a guard in a gladiator match. And oh yeah — Jess himself as a gay slave trader.

Look, if you didn’t think 99 Women was scummy enough, no worries. Jess Franco can always sink lower.

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