The Journey: Absolution (1997)

With most of Earth destroyed by an asteroid, only one small military base has survived. New America, located in the Arctic, is our last best hope of repopulating the Earth. Luckily, it’s staffed by 1990’s TV stars like Richard Grieco, Nick Spano, Jaime Pressly and most importantly, Mario Lopez.

If you’re wondering, “WIll I see Mario without a shirt in this movie?” allow me to set your mind at ease. David DeCoteau directed this. So yes, the fact that he even wears a shirt in the cold permafrost of the Arctic should amaze you.

This movie posits that a murder has happened on the base and that Lopez is there to investigate why Grieco’s character is abusing his soldiers. But really it’s about dudes just hanging and banging in their boxers or briefs while burning each other with cigars, hugging it out and sipping steroids out of a giant goblet, because look, DeCoteay has an audience and they — and he — demand such actions.

You can watch this on Tubi. There’s also a Rifftrax version which I’d watch instead of the original.

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