My search for new movies leads me many places. Sometimes, you see the names Russ Tamblyn (Satan’s Sadists) and Lyle Waggoner (Love Me Deadly) and you say, let’s take a chance. And then you regret it in the way one regrets saying, “OK, just nine more slices of pizza.”

Lord Khoura (Waggoner) and Ulric (Tamblyn) have battled over the Blade of Aktar for years. Now, Ulric’s daughter Melina has enlisted a swordsman called Thane to get the sword and her father back.

There are exactly three reasons to watch this: Lawrence Tierney from Pulp Fiction as a slavemaster, Michael Berryman shows up and stop-motion dinosaurs.

According to director Fred Olen Ray, there were sets left over from Roger Corman’s The Masque of the Red Death remake. Before they were taken down, he wrote a film, hired actors and shot the film in four days, then shot Bad Girls from Mars in the day that he had left.

Make no mistake. This movie is a complete waste of time. And not even an interesting one. If anything, please use my painful time enduring this film as a warning to never suffer through it yourself. If you really want to watch it, it’s on Amazon Prime.