You know what Gordon Sumner said. The Russians love their children too. None of that comes up in this movie. But it seemed like a great opening.

The U.S. and Russia have already fired most of their missiles before this movie even begins, with most of humanity dying in the process. In order to finish World War 3 with no more bloodshed, each country picks their best soldiers and sends them to battle to the death in Virginia.

Sgt. Tom Batanic (brother of director David Prior, Ted) and Sergei (Robert Z’Dar, Maniac Cop) spend most of this movie fighting one another with all manner of weapons before going mano y рука. Just as they decide to stop fighting, the mysterious forces that run the world blow up the building they’re in. Yep — the U.S. and Russia have been working together the whole time. But good news — our heroes have survived and the FBI saves the day.

Thrill to a decimated world that actually looks like an office park! Swoon to the forced romance between Batanic and Lt. Tavlin! Become sure that this is just as shitty of a movie as Killer Workout, another Prior directed film! Discover the true fact that Robert Z’Dar was once a Chippendales dancer!

It’s on Amazon Prime. But come on. There are so many better films to watch.