Tag Archives: 1985

Terror In the Swamp (1985)

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When a scientific experiment to create an oversized nutria goes awry, a mutant creature is born.

What’s a nutria?

According to Wikipedia, it’s “a herbivorous, semiaquatic rodent from South America. The nutria lives in burrows alongside stretches of water and feeds on the stems of river plants. Originally native to subtropical and temperate South America, it was introduced to North America, Europe and Asia, primarily by fur farmers. Although it is still hunted and trapped for its fur in some regions, its destructive burrowing and feeding habits often bring it into conflict with humans, and it is considered an invasive species in the United States.”

Why would they want to make a giant nutria? To help the fur industry.

Oh. Yeah.

Now there’s a Nutria-man on the loose in Louisiana’s Copsaw Swamp, killing everyone he meets. What this ends up being is a Bigfoot movie, but you know, with a giant rat that has orange teeth. That makes sense, more than the original title,  Nutriaman: The Copasaw Creature. More people are going to see Terror In the Swamp.

This was directed by Joe Catalanotto, who worked on every movie that came to New Orleans, like Live and Let Die and Mandingo. According to this incredible interview with his daughter, he met Charles Pierce and became his right-hand man. That influence is all over this movie. His credits are fantastic, by the way: key grip on Bootleggers and Winterhawk, gaffer and special effects on The Town That Dreaded Sundown, gaffer on The Beyond, camera loader on Avenging Force, an electrician on The Unholy, special effects on The Shadow of the Hawk, even acting in Pretty Baby. He also directed French Quarter Undercover, also known as Anti-Terror-Force, which was released on video in the UK by Cannon.

Game wardens, rednecks, a military expert — they’re all after the nutria. You know, I’m on the side of the nutria, if only because they never get into movies. At once a regional movie, a Bigfoot-ish film, and rednecksploitation, this is what I was looking for on my first day back to work. A film that took me away from all this and threw me ass-first into a menacing swamp.

You can watch this on YouTube.

Murder, She Wrote S1 E13: My Johnny Lies Over the Ocean (1985)

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When Jessica’s recently widowed niece takes a cruise to get away from it all, a would-be murderer follows her.

Season 1, Episode 13: My Johnny Lies Over the Ocean (February 10, 1985)

Tonight on Murder, She Wrote…

Jessica’s niece Pamela has just gotten out of a mental hospital after her husband, Johnny, killed himself. Maybe a cruise will help get her mind right. Or maybe someone will die, seeing as how Jessica is there.

Who’s in it, outside of Angela Lansbury, and were they in any exploitation movies?

Jessica’s niece, Pamela Crane, is Belinda Montgomery. She starred in the TV movie The Devil’s Daughter and the slasher film Silent Madness.

Her father — and Jessica’s brother — Dr. Marshall MacGill is Jason Evers from Claws and The Brain That Wouldn’t Die.

Wacky singles Phoebe Carroll and Carla Raymond are Vicki Lawrence (Mama!) and Jo Anne Worley.

Paul Carafotes plays Ramon, the steward.

Dr. Andrea Jeffreys Reed is Rosemary Forsyth, who was in What Ever Happened to Aunt Alice.

Diane Shelley? That’s Lynda Day George! Christopher George’s wife, she’s in Pieces, Mortuary, Beyond Evil, Day of the Animals and the original Mission: Impossible.

Captain Daniels is Leslie Neilsen. Perhaps you’ve heard of him.

In smaller roles, Andrew Parks plays Russell Tompkins, Lawrence Pressman plays George Reed, Don Dubbins plays Dr. Carmichael, Byron Webster plays the maitre d, Michael G. Hawkins plays Dr. Ross, Don Matheson plays a cowboy, Kay Freeman plays a nurse and Mark Pilon and George Marshall Ruge play ship officers. Passengers are played by John Arndy, Lyle Howry, Linda and Shirley Lang and Steve Wagner.

What happens?

Pamela isn’t over her husband, who had money troubles and was adopted. But it gets worse — she keeps hearing someone calling her name, using the nickname that only her husband knew: Pepper.

Yes, we have a giallo on Murder, She Wrote.

Things get weirder because Pamela is even served a dish her husband invented that no one else should know about. Meanwhile, Jessica keeps trying to set her up with someone new. There’s also the Reeds, who seem to be trying to use the cruise to fix their marriage.

Then, someone with her husband’s voice shoves Pamela down the steps.

Luckily, the captain steps in and he’s Leslie Nielsen. Jessica is also on the case, learning that Johnny’s birth mother made contact with him before he died.

Speaking of death, Mrs. Reed is now dead and her husband seems like the suspect. Or maybe she just loved drinking and sleeping pills together. Lots of them.

Who did it?

Of course, as you guessed, George Reed killed his wife, who was really Johnny’s mother. I guess he learned all the secrets about her son from her? We never get that answer, so the entire ghost stalking of Pamela seems like all red herrings.

Who made it?

Seymour Robbie was the director. His career included TV shows, including Father Dowling Mysteries, Matlock, which had 21 episodes, and plenty more examples of episodic TV. The series was written by series creator Peter S. Fischer.

Does Jessica get some?

Oh yes. Not only does Ramon offer to teach her several dances and pretty much tell her that he’s there to give her her groove back, but Leslie Nielsen at the end tells her that he has some time off after this voyage is done and that he knows plenty of incredible places to eat. Oh man, he’s totally hot dipping the meat flute and inspiring several more books.

Does Jessica dress up and act stupid?

Yes! She pretends that she’s drunk and it’s so fake that you have to wonder how anyone else would believe it. No one has ever been this drunk or acted this way. You’ll forget that Angela Lansbury could act! She did the same thing in Death On the Nile, so there’s that.

Was it any good?

I mean, look at the cast. This is one of my top episodes, even if it doesn’t make sense in the end. Who cares! Lynda Day George is in it!

Any trivia?

This was filmed on the RMS Queen Mary.

Much of this is based on Gaslight, Angela Lansbury’s first acting role.

This is the first episode in which we learn that Jessica’s maiden name is MacGill, which is based on her mother’s stage name, Moyna MacGill.

Give me a reasonable quote:

Captain Daniels: And to make amends, I would, uh, I happen to know of a magnificent little restaurant here in port, and, uh, would you, uh… would you do me the honor of dining with me this evening?

Jessica Fletcher: Well, uh, that depends. Uh, you’re not planning to show me your hootchy-kootchy, are you?

Captain Daniels: Definitely not… Oh!

What’s next?

The birthday celebration for a renowned Mediterranean artist is cut short when the guest of honor winds up dead.

Murder, She Wrote S1 E12: Murder to a Jazz Beat (1985)

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A trip to New Orleans gets off to an eventful start when the leader of a popular jazz band is poisoned during a performance.

Season 1, Episode 12: Murder to a Jazz Beat (February 3, 1985)

Tonight on Murder, She Wrote…

Jessica comes to New Orleans to promote a book and her appearance is just before the death of jazz musician Ben Coleman (Glynn Turman).

Who’s in it, outside of Angela Lansbury, and were they in any exploitation movies?

Glynn Turman, the victim, was in Gremlins, Super 8, John Dies at the End and many more. He’s also in two more episodes of the show.

Callie Coleman, wife of the deceased, is Olivia Cole, who was in Roots and two other episodes of Murder, She Wrote.

The lawman in this, Det. Lt. Simeon Kershaw, is Bradford Dillman. And what hasn’t he been in? Here are a few of his best films: Guyana Cult of the Damned, Piranha, The Swarm, The Lincoln Conspiracy, Bug, Moon of the Wolf and so many more. He was also in seven more episodes of this show.

Eubie Sherwin is George Kirby.

Dr. Aaron Kramer is Cameron Mitchell and man, I don’t have enough space to list every great role he did, but let’s go with Blood and Black Lace, The Toolbox Murders and The Demon.

Cab driver Lafayette Duquesne is played by original Saturday Night Live cast member Garrett Morris.

Carl Turnball is Ed Nelson, who was in 193 roles and did effects for Attack of the Crab Monsters.

Jonathan Hawley is Clive Revill, the original voice of The Emperor in Empire Strikes Back.

Eddie Walter is Stan Shaw, Detective Sapir from Monster Squad.

Jimmy Firth is Bobby Sherman, who hosted the show Shindig!

Hec Tattersal is David Whitfield, who was in Hot Resort.

In the smaller roles, Doctor Alan Collyer is Michael Canavan, Lisa is Elaine Hobson, Robert Clarke (The Hideous Sun Demon, Man from Planet X) plays an actor, Jackie Joseph (the original Audry in Little Shop of Horrors) is an actress, Mario Machado (all three RoboCop movies)is a TV announcer, Wally K. Berns (the writer of Speak of the Devil) is a proprieter, Bruce Marchiano is an assistant director and there are uncredited roles for John Arndt, Joey Banks, Michael J. Grayson, Paul Le Clair, Eric Mansker and Sam Nickens.

What happens?

Jessica has screwed up her calendar and is two days off as she heads to New Orleans to talk about her new book. Both cab driver Lafayette Duquesne and talk show host Jonathan Hawley offer to take her out on the town; she chooses the older white man.

Their date takes them to a jazz bar, where Ben Coleman is about to play. This is the Murder, She Wrote trick where the victim is the worst individual ever — he’s moving to Vegas without his band, he abuses his assistant Eddie, he’s cheating on his wife Callie with Lisa and he’s a jerk to anyone else.

Ben plays a clarinet on stage and dies. Jessica is in the audience. She is the Angel of Death. Thanks to her book Murder on the Amazon, she knows that he’s been poisoned. Everyone wanted him dead. But who would actually do it?

Jessica tries to explain the poison to Lt. Kershaw and he’s one of those TV lawmen that want no help at all. Sure, he later apologizes, but he’s always seen the jazz star as a criminal, as he arrested him and his brother years ago.

Who did it?

Ben was trying to kill his wife with poison, but Eddie saved her and killed Ben, who wanted to be free but his wife Callie was his alibi for the case that Lt. Kershaw arrested him for all those years ago.

Who made it?

This is another episode directed by Walter Grauman.

It was written by Paul Savage (who wrote six other episodes of this show, as well as 110 of Gunsmoke) and David Abramowitz.

This was set in New Orleans but no actual filming took place there.

Does Jessica get some?

No. She was on her way and someone got killed.

Does Jessica dress up and act stupid?

No.

Was it any good?

Yes and it’s an dark episode with a sad ending.

Give me a reasonable quote:

Lafayette Duquesne: Where to first?

Jessica Fletcher: Oh, the St. Charles Cemetery, please.

Lafayette Duquesne: Ma’am, with all of the beautiful places in New Orleans? Ma’am, that place is dead.

What’s next?

When Jessica’s recently widowed niece takes a cruise to get away from it all, a would-be murderer follows her.

APRIL MOVIE THON 4: I Like to Hurt People (1985)

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April 27: Kayfabe Cinema — A movie with a pro wrestler in it.

Made between Scream of the Demon Lover and Hell Comes to Frogtown, Donald Jackson directed this pro wrestling mockumentary based around Big Time Wrestling in Detroit and super villain The Sheik. It states that this came out in 1985, but it was filmed in the 1970s, long before pro wrestling gained popularity — it never wasn’t, despite what accepted WWE history may tell you — in the mid-1980s.

If you’re unfamiliar with the Detroit area, Ed Farhat was known as The Sheik, starting in 1947, after serving in World War II. Despite being a Maronite Catholic from Lansing, Michigan, in the world of wrestling, he became an Arab Muslim from the Syrian Desert. Managed by Abdullah Farouk — The Grand Wizard in WWF — he was quite different than other stars of his day, as he rarely wrestled and instead used weapons, chokeholds and fire. His most famous feuds would be with Bobo Brazil, Fred Blassie, the Funks, and Abdullah the Butcher.

Unknown to many fans was the fact that he ran both Toronto and Detroit wrestling, with his father-in-law, Francis Fleser, as his business partner and kayfabe owner. Until Big Time Wrestling faced issues after the 1973-1975 recession, they were running weekly live events and two to three TV shows a week, all in Detroit.

For example, booking was the main reason why shows really lost their draw, as well as losing wrestlers to other promotions. You’ll pick up on that formula booking in this, as no one beat The Sheik, even ex-NWA champs like Terry Funk, big box office names like Dusty Rhodes, and even Andre the Giant, who lost to The Sheik in Toronto.

In this film, there is a storyline about the Stop the Sheik Society, which features Joyce Farhat, the Sheik’s real-life wife and former valet, Princess Saleema. They keep begging anyone to defeat the madma,n and the only reason helosese to Ox Baker (he’s in Escape from New York) is because he gets sold out by his manager, Eddie Creachman, bringing back Abdullah Farouk.

There’s also “Bulldog” Bob Kent, who says the main line of this movie, “I like to hurt people.” Plus, Heather Feather, who wants to wrestle men. There’s no storyline — this is almost a mondo movie where things just seem to happen.

According to an interview with director of photography Bryan Greenberg, this was initially intended to be a horror movie called Ringside In Hell. Continuity was impossible with wrestlers coming in and out, so they decided to make a documentary. In that SLAM! Wrestling story, it’s explained that Greenberg had no idea the movie was going to be released until he saw it for sale. The article goes on to say, “Donald G. Jackson, director and producer of the film, had struck a deal with New World Video to sell movies he produced for New World’s new laserdisc line. New World funded Jackson to shoot additional footage in 1984, which is when “Stop the Sheik” footage was shot (for those who have seen the movie, no explanation is needed).”

I also discovered that cameraman Dennis Skotak would go on to work on special effects for films such as The Abyss, Aliens, Forbidden World, Galaxy of Terror, and more. There’s also a therapist in this, Sonya Friedman, who would go on to have a show on CNN, Sonya Live.

Other wrestlers that appear include Dick the Bruiser, Al Costello, Don Kent, Luke Graham, Abdullah the Butcher, Andre the Giant, The Funk Brothers and so many more. In a world where the past of wrestling is controlled, this serves as a reminder that it has always been popular, consistently drawn crowds, and has always featured unforgettable characters like The Sheik.

You can watch this movie on Daily Motion.

April Ghouls Drive-In Monster-Rama 2025 Primer: A Nightmare on Elm Street Part 2: Freddy’s Revenge (1985)

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April Ghouls Drive-In Monster-Rama is back at The Riverside Drive-In Theatre in Vandergrift, PA on April 25 and 26, 2025. Admission is still only $15 per person each night (children 12 and under free with adult) and overnight camping is available (breakfast included). You can buy tickets at the show, but get there early and learn more here.

The features for Friday, April 25 are the first four A Nightmare On Elm Street movies.

Saturday, April 26 has Frankenhooker, Doom Asylum, Brain Damage and Basket Case 2.

With Craven stepping aside, Jack Sholder (Alone in the Dark, which was the first New Line movie before the original Elm Street and The Hidden) was selected as the director and David Chaskin was selected to write this (it was his first Hollywood script and he’d go on to write I, Madman and The Curse).

Chaskin’s theme for the film — which until the documentary Never Sleep Again: The Elm Street Legacy he would always say was just subtext — is the main character Jesse (Mark Patton) coming to grips with his homosexuality. Patton struggled with his anger over this film for years, as he felt betrayed as the filmmakers knew that he was in the closet. Between this role and playing a gay teenager in Come Back to the Five and Dime, Jimmy Dean, Jimmy Dean, he feared being typecast at best and labeled at worst. Yes, in 1985, this was the world that we lived in. You can see the movie Scream, Queen to learn more about the story.

Chaskin claimed in interviews that Patton just played the role too gay, but Patton bristled at that claim. The emotional stress led Patton to quit acting for some time to pursue a career in interior design. That said, Chaskin claims that he has tried to reach out and apologize to the actor over the years.

Director Sholder has said that he didn’t have the self-awareness to think that the film had any gay subtext, but an unfilmed scene almost had Krueger slide a knife into Jesse’s mouth. Makeup artist Kevin Yagher talked Patton out of filming that scene for the sake of his career.

Years later, Patton would write Jesse’s Lost Journal, a series of diary entries that would set his feelings—and his character’s—straight. Pardon the horrible pun.

The sequel starts with a dream sequence in which Jesse Walsh (Patton) dreams of being stuck inside a school bus with Freddy at the wheel. Jesse’s circle of friends includes Lisa, whom he’s friends with but too shy to ask out, and Grady (Robert Rusler, Sometimes They Come Back), a frenemy who seems more like a crush.

Jesse has moved into Nancy Thompson’s home, which was on the market for five years after she was institutionalized and her mother killed herself. His family has Clu Gulager from Return of the Living Dead as his dad, Hope Lange from Death Wish as his mother and a little sister that he bothers when she’s trying to sleep.

Lisa and Jesse discover Nancy’s diary, which explains how ridiculous the house is to live in. It’s always 97 degrees, birds attack you at will before they spontaneously combust and your parents accuse you of setting it all up.

Meanwhile, Jesse is dealing with all sorts of strangeness, like a sadistic gym teacher who really likes to go to punk clubs and get whipped. One night, a dream takes him to that bar and the gym teacher makes him run laps in the middle of the night. That gym teacher is played by Marshall Bell, who was George in Total Recall, the host for Kuato. Freddy possesses our hero and the coach gets clawed up in the shower. The cops find Jesse wandering the highway naked, which doesn’t seem all that weird to his mother.

Lisa and Jesse go to Freddy’s lair in an abandoned factory, then she has a pool party. Yes, I just wrote that sentence. At the party, they kiss and have perhaps the most awkward make-out session ever, until Freddy causes changes in Jesse’s body that make him run to Grady for help. Yes, he gets so upset about making up with a girl that he runs to his male crush, only to transform into Freddy in an astounding practical effects sequence and kill Grady. He returns to the pool party and lays absolute waste to the partygoers as Freddy before getting chased off by multiple shotgun blasts.

Only Lisa’s love — and kisses — can bring Jesse out of Freddy. But it’s all for nothing, as the nightmare from the beginning becomes real and their school bus turns into a deathtrap. Even though their friend Kerry (who has the best outfits in the movie) tries to calm them down, Freddy’s claw emerges from her chest.

Murder, She Wrote S1 E11: Broadway Malady (1985)

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Former Hollywood star Rita Bristol and her daughter Patti are about to open in a big new Broadway musical, until Patti is gunned down in a bizarre robbery attempt.

Season 1, Episode 11: Broadway Malady (January 13, 1985)

Tonight on Murder, She Wrote…

Broadway legend Rita Bristol (Vivian Blaine) and her daughter Patti (Lorna Luft) are set to star in the Broadway musical Always April, produced by her son Barry (Gregg Henry), but death — and Jessica — are close.

Who’s in it, outside of Angela Lansbury, and were they in any exploitation movies?

Lew Feldman is Milton Berle, who at one point was the biggest star on TV. He also was and had the most enormous cock or so it has been reported.

Rita is Vivian Blaine, perhaps best known for Guys and Dolls, but she was also in Parasite and The Dark.

Lonnie Valerian is Elaine Giftos, who also appeared in Angel, Gas!, Body Chemistry 4, and The Secret Night Caller.

Barry Bristol is played by Gregg Henry, who starts all the problems in Body Double.

This is the second of twelve episodes where Michael Horton plays Grady Fletcher, Jessica’s nephew. If you think Jessica is bad news, Grady causes problems everywhere he goes and is my most hated supporting character, not just on this show, but in history.

The doomed Patti? That’s Liza’s half-sister Lorna Luft. This is her first of two appearances on the show.

Marc Faber is portrayed by Robert Morse, who played Bertram Cooper on Mad Men. He’s also in The Loved One.

Si Parish is Patrick O’Neal, who was in The Stepford Wives and The Stuff.

Gregory Sierra appeared in six Murder, She Wrote episodes but is perhaps best remembered as Detective Sergeant Chano Amenguale on Barney Miller. He’s another cop in this, NYPD Det. Sgt. Moreno.

Gretchen Pasko is played by Barbara, who also portrayed Whinnery and Sister Sara in Hamburger: The Motion Picture, as well as in Crawlspace.

In the smaller roles, Kate Metcalf is Sharee Gregory, Ed Bakey is Monsignor Kelly, Roberto Roman is Taki, Johnny Seven plays “Man,” Irma Garcia is Veronica, Edson Stroll is De. Peter Weber and Victoria Harned is a newscaster.

What happens?

Former star Rita Bristol is returning to the stage, thanks to her kids, Barry and Patti. How does Jessica get involved? Brady, her hated nephew, is in charge of the books. He gets all excited about inviting her, but there are already some problems, as the director, Marc Faber, is really tough on the star. Grady, you should also know, always dates exactly the wrong woman and here he’s with Kate, Patti’s understudy.

After dinner, Barry and Patti are mugged. Patti is shot while Barry returns gunfire and kills their attacker. Jessica sees through everything and thinks that this was a planned murder, but the NYPD is too busy to listen.

Patti survives, but is replaced by Lonnie Valerian. Meanwhile, Jessica sees the mugger on an old TV show and tells the cops again, yet they still have no interest. Soon, mother and son are fighting and Rita is out of the show. Who is going to come now?

Meanwhile, Rita goes all in on unaliving herself, using alcohol, pills and the gas oven, eventually expiring at the hospital. Of course, it’s acting…

Who did it?

Barry, who wanted to be out from under his mother’s shadow. She lives, as does his sister.

Who made it?

Hy Averback was all over TV, but also made Where the Boys Are 1984, The Girl, the Godl Watch & Dynamite, the second Love Boat TV movie, Chamber of Horrors, Where Were You When the Lights Went Out?, I Love You, Alice B. Toklas! and also had 27 acting roles.

This episode was written by Tom Sawyer, who produced 79 episodes of this show and wrote 24, as well as The Carpenters…Space Encounters TV special.

Some facts…

Rita is watching a black-and-white movie that she says is “Moon Over Rio.” It’s really Three Little Girls in Blue and that’s Vivian Blaine singing “Somewhere in the Night.”

There is a missing scene, as a different ending was shot with choreographer Miriam Nelson featuring dancers on stage, showcasing the final performance. Instead, we get Grady talking on the phone.

Grady was dating Kate when we last saw him in The Murder of Sherlock Holmes.

Does Jessica get some?

No.

Does Jessica dress up and act stupid?

No. Too much Grady.

Was it any good?

Not bad, despite Grady. Seriously, I can’t deal with him and how he just serial dates and gets Jessica into trouble.

Give me a reasonable quote:

Jessica Fletcher: Well, tell me about Kate.

Grady Fletcher: There’s not much to tell, Aunt Jess. She ran off with some TV weatherman from Pittsburgh.

Jessica Fletcher: Oh, Grady, I’m so sorry.

Grady Fletcher: Oh, she was okay. We didn’t have that much in common. But wait till you meet Francesca. Aunt Jess, she’s beyond belief. Now look, how soon can you get down here?

What’s next?

A trip to New Orleans gets off to an eventful start when the leader of a popular jazz band is poisoned during a performance.

Murder, She Wrote S1 E10: Capitol Offense (1985)

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When a congressman suddenly dies from a heart attack, Jessica is asked to temporarily replace him in Washington.

Season 1, Episode 10: Capital Offense (January 6, 1985)

Tonight on Murder, She Wrote…

Congressman Wendell Joyner (Frank Aletter) has a fatal heart attack at a party arranged by lobbyist Harry Parmel (Nicholas Pryor), so the governor of Maine asks Jessica to fill the seat. Of all people!

Who’s in it, outside of Angela Lansbury, and were they in any exploitation movies?

Kaye Sheppard is played by Edie Adams, who was in The Apartment as well as The Happy Hooker Goes Hollywood, Under the Yum Yum Tree and more. Her character also has an incredible cat named Peaches!

Detective Avery Mendelsohn is the lawman in this. His name is Herschel Bernardi. He definitely had police experience, as he was Jacobi on Peter Gunn.

Diana Simms is Linda Kelsey, who was also on Lou Grant.

Congressman Dan Keppner is played by Stephen Macht, Sean’s dad from The Monster Squad. He was also in Amityville: It’s About Time.

Lobbyist Harry Parmel is Nicholas Pryor, who was in The Omen II, Halloween Kills, Brain Dead, The Happy Hooker and two more episodes of Murder, She Wrote.

Ray Dixon is Mitchell Ryan, Dr. Wynn from Halloween 6!

Joe Blinn is Gary Sandy, who was in Troll.

Mark Shera plays Thor Danziger, which is a very metal name. This is Mark’s first of four roles in Murder, She Wrote.

Wendell Joyner is Frank Aletter. Aletter was also in Private School.

Harold DeWitt is Colby Chester, who does much voice-over work.

David Hooks, Jensen Collier, Jade McCall, Lyle Howry, Gwen Humble, Kathryn Janssen, Lemuel Perry, George Sasaki, Nick Trisko and Paul Van play smaller roles.

What happens?

Jessica becomes a congresswoman after that aforementioned death, keeping on staff like press agent Joe Blinn and administrative assistant Diana Simms. Detective Mendelsohn believes that Joyner was murdered because there’s blackmail in Washington. But ah—it may all tie into lobbying for a Maine-based cannery. Trust me, I worked for StarKist for a bunch, and nobody spends more on lobbyists than the canned seafood industry.

Can congresspeople be put in office without due process? I know that the government is a total mess these days, but back in 1985?

Who did it?

Joe, who worked for the congressman. He also killed Marta, who was a party girl.

Who made it?

This was directed by John Llewellyn Moxey, one of the greatest TV movie directors ever. Check out Home for the Holidays, The House That Would Not Die, The Night Stalker and 18 episodes of Murder, She Wrote. Series creator Peter S. Fischer wrote it.

Some facts…

Mitchell Ryan also played a cannery owner on Dark Shadows.

IMDB states, “The US Constitution does not allow a governor to appoint a replacement representative, even temporarily, to fill an open seat. The governor can only schedule a special election to pick the new representative. Therefore, this plotline does not match real life. However, if it were a senator who she was replacing, then the governor could have appointed her to fill the seat until the special election to fill the seat.”

Does Jessica get some?

No.

Does Jessica dress up and act stupid?

No. Again, it’s going to happen.

Was it any good?

Three no answers lined up. There are a lot of plot holes in this and the show is still trying to find itself. This is an example of how it is silly and not true to Jessica’s character.

Give me a reasonable quote:

Jessica Fletcher: We’ll get along just fine if you try to remember that I’m not your addlepated great-aunt from East Nowhere.

What’s next?

Former Hollywood star Rita Bristol and her daughter Patti are about to open in a big new Broadway musical, until Patti is gunned down in a bizarre robbery attempt.

APRIL MOVIE THON 4: The Protector (1985)

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April 7: Jackie Day — Celebrate Jackie Chan’s birthday!

The Protector was a troubled creation. Initially, it would be written by Robert Clouse for Christmas 1982, but that got. However, that version was delayed after Project A went over schedule. After some retooling, James Glickenhaus came on to direct, which led to this movie being sold as “When the no. 1 action director meets the no. 1 action star… Watch out!”

Guess what? They didn’t get along. Chan learned that no one in America cared about taking the time to do fight choreography. In Hong Kong, he’d get a month to do one. In America? Two days.

This meant there were two versions, one for the U.S. and the other for Hong Kong. In both, Jackie plays Billy Wong, an NYPD cop who gets a new partner, Danny Garoni (Danny Aiello), and heads to Hong Kong to stop a kidnapping and a drug deal. Even though the goal was to make Jackie into Clint Eastwood — had no one learned that they tried to make him into Bruce Lee and it didn’t work until he was himself? — but at least he fights Bill “Superfoot” Wallace. The Hong Kong version adds a dancer — May-Fong Ho (Sally Yeh) — whose father was killed by gangsters.

Wrestling fans may be surprised to see Big John Studd show up in the beginning. There’s no extended battle between him and Jackie, who shoots him. Studd, who was born in Saxonburg, PA, is also in Double Agent, The Marrying Man, Harley Davidson and the Marloboro Man, Hyper Space, Caged In Paradiso and Micki & Maude. He also appeared in episodes of The A-Team, Hunter and Beauty and the Beast.

After this, Jackie made the movie he wanted with Police Story. He wouldn’t be a star in the U.S. until Rumble In the Bronx. As for the Robert Crouse script that he didn’t make, it would be filmed as China O’Brien with another Golden Harvest star, Cynthia Rothrock.

You can watch this on Tubi.

THIRD WINDOW FILMS BLU RAY RELEASE: Bumpkin Soup (1985)

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The Excitement of the Do-Re-Mi-Fa Girl has Akiko (Yoriko Doguchi) searching for her hometown love, Yoshioka (Kenso Kato), who has left her behind as he goes to college. But now he’s a mystery, a nobody, a small fish in a much larger pond, and she finds herself in a strange place filled with people too smart for their own good, too sexed up and too strange, such as the professor (Juzo Itami) testing the limits of shame.

According to Japan Society, this was “shelved from a Nikkatsu Roman Porno release for being too bizarre and subsequently re-edited and re-shot.” Directed and cowritten by Kunitoshi Manda and Kiyoshi Kurosawa (Cure, Sweet Home), this is a sex comedy by way of a New Wave of its own by way of a final-act murder of nearly everyone we’ve met — spoilers, huh? — by a girl with a gun singing a lullaby, as well as a lead whose private parts emit some kind of blinding laser when revealed. This is one strange movie, and I love that it was turned in as if the audience for Nikkatsu’s sleaze would be cool with an art film that ends in fog and blood.

The Third Window Films Blu-ray of Bumpkin Soup has extras that include an interview with actress Yoriko Doguchi, a feature length audio commentary by Jasper Sharp, a video essay by Jerry White, author of The Films of Kiyoshi Kurosawa: Master of Fear, a slipcase with artwork from Gokaiju and a Directors Company’ edition featuring an insert by Jasper Sharp that’s limited to 2000 copies. You can learn more on the official site and order it in the U.S. from Terracotta and Diabolik DVD and in the UK from Planet of Entertainment and HMV.

NEON EAGLE VIDEO BLU RAY RELEASE: Ninja Terminator (1985)

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If you owned a Korean film called The Uninvited Guest Of The Star Ferry, it probably wouldn’t sell in the West. But what if you shot new footage of Supreme Ninja having his three greatest warriors — Ninja Masters Tamashi, Baron and Harry MacQueen (Richard Harrison) — celebrate the second decade of his power by assembling the Golden Ninja Warrior and making him impervious from swords, well, then you’d be able to sell that.

Godfrey Ho. Genius or madman? Maybe both?

Two years after the three ninjas took each part of the statue to keep their master from becoming too strong, Karada killed the ninja Tamashi. Baron and Harry were manipulated into battling one another. Will Supreme Ninja take the statue and reign forever?

So yes, that’s the basic plot. What I have not captured- I really don’t know if I can- is how lunatic this movie gets, constantly introducing new characters and ideas and rarely following up on them, like if someone introduced Jack Kirby to manga and then slipped him some amphetamines. I also am writing this under the influence of COVID-19 and the way my brain has been going from lucid to foggy to sleep to pain to being exhausted in a matter of seconds feels exactly like this movie but in a way better way than not being able to breathe and needing to sanitize my hands every ten seconds.

Richard Harrison is a hero. Yes, his career was probably ruined by Godfrey Ho repeatedly re-editing him into movies. I wish there was a way I could send him some cash by Paypal to make up for that because, in this movie, he wears a camouflage ninja suit and talks on a Garfield phone, and honestly, I’ve never seen Robert Deniro do that.

There’s also a scene where one ninja can shoot fire out of his hands and another shoots ice, and you know, that’s no CGI, it’s two dudes putting their lives on the line to entertain you thirty-some years in the digital future. Also, sex scenes that refine the word gratuitous.

You can watch this on Tubi.

The Neon Eagle Video release of Ninja Terminator includes two audio commentaries (one by Kenneth Brorsson and Phil Gillon of the Podcast on Fire Network and another by Asian film experts Arne Venema and Mike Leeder ), interviews with Godfrey Ho and Simon Bond, Ninjamania: How Ninjas Invaded the West, an interview with Chris Poggiali, co-author of These Fists Break Bricks, a trailer and a reversible Blu-ray wrap with alternate artwork. Get it from MVD.