Tag Archives: 1977

Junesploitation: The Lincoln Conspiracy (1977)

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June 4: Junesploitation’s topic of the day — as suggested by F This Movie— is Free Space! We’re excited to tackle a different genre every day, so check back and see what’s next.

I’m obsessed by the true fact movies that Sunn Classics and Schick Sunn Classics released in the 1970s. There’s Peter Graves telling the world about The Mysterious Monsters, Rod Serling narrating The Outer Space Connection, a movie about 70s hot topic The Bermuda Triangle, the religious strangeness of In Search of Noah’s Ark and In Search of Historic Jesus,  The Amazing World of Psychic Phenomena, near-death experiences in Beyond and Back and Beyond Death’s Door, the snuff disasters of Encounter With Disaster and two that I had never been able to find. One is pretty much lost, The President Must Die, and the other is today’s movie, The Lincoln Conspiracy.

“Ladies and gentlemen, everyone sitting in this audience has been exposed to the traditional story of the assassination of President Lincoln. For over a century history books have taught us that the murder was committed by a crazed actor named John Wilkes Booth. The history books go on to say a few southern rebels helped him and no one else. The motion picture you are about to see will shock you. Because the true story of President Lincoln’s assassination can not be found in any history book. It is a story of corruption, treachery and cover-up. It is a story every American has a right to know.”

With that opening, we’re off and running with this movie, which was based on the book of the same name by David W. Balsiger and Charles E. Sellier Jr. If that last name sounds familiar, he’s the man behind so many of these movies. He has a wild life story, starting as a Cajun Catholic, converting to Mormonism and then to evangelical Christianity. He also wrote The Life and Times of Grizzly Adams and founded Sunn with Rayland Jenson and Patrick Frawley. They were the kings of market research and four-walling, a process in which they bought space at a theater and did all the ads, then collected all the ticket money. They realized that there was a Christian audience that wanted G rated movies on one hand and paranormal ones on the other. Sunn was ahead of its time when it comes to what is on basic cable today.

It made the movie look better to be based on a book. Schick Sunn Classic Books started to put this out, which is a genius movie that exploitation masters since Kroger Babb have used to make money. The main idea of the book and the movie is that historians and have been part of a big cover-up. This all started when President Abraham Lincoln’s Secretary of War Edwin M. Stanton, Union spy Lafayette C. Baker, Senator Benjamin F. Wade, Senator John Conness, other congressional Radical Republicansm and a cabal of Northern bankers and speculators all wanted to capture the President and keep him hidden until they cold impeach him. The reason? Lincoln wanted to unite the country after the Civil War and they were upset that they would lose money.

Baker found out that actor John Wilkes Booth wanted to kidnap Lincoln and was brought into the plan. After he failed several times, he was told to stop and instead, he decided on his own to kill Lincoln on April 14. He had a diary that incriminated several of the men who paid for him to do the plot and they were panicked. A Confederate double agent James William Boyd was killed and the trial that followed and the autopsy were altered to make it appear as if Booth was killed, while sympathetic people got him to England.

Maybe. You know how speculative history is.

The book and film’s theories and perhaps not all that well researched use of source material* made historians lose their minds. But weren’t they covering it up?

The movie casts Robert Middleton (Even Angels Eat Beans, amongst many other movies) as Secretary of War Edwin M. Stanton, John Dehner (who was an animator on Fantasia and was a radio actor before a long acting career in movies and TV) as Colonel Lafayette C. Baker, Bradford Dillman (Bug, Piranha, The Swarm) as John Wilkes Booth, Ted Henning as Robert Campbell, Whit Bissell (a scientist in Creature from the Black Lagoon and I Was a Teenage Werewolf), Ken Kercheval (Dallas), as John Surratt, James Green (One Hour to Live) as Capt. James William Boyd, Len Wayland as Ward H. Lamon, Edmund Lupinski as Edwin Henson, Greg Oliver (the killer in Scalpel) as Rep. George Julian, Frank Schuller as Lt. Everton Conger, Patrick Wright (Track of the Moon Beast) as Major Thomas Eckert), Sonny Shroyer (Enos from The Dukes of Hazzard) as Lewis Paine, Wallace Wilkinson (who was in Cannibals Apocalypse, Invasion U.S.A. and The Visitor) as Dr. Samuel Mudd, Mimi Honce (who was also in Scalpel and Asylum of Satan) as Mary Surratt, Ben Jones (yes, this movie has both Cooter and Enos in it) as Samuel Arnold, John Anderson (the car salesman in Psycho) as Lincoln and Sunn’s narrator in nearly every movie, Brad Crandall, who also was the voice of movies and shows like the “The Curse of Dracula” parts of Cliffhangers!, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 and the Wizard on the early 80s Spider-Man cartoon.

Basically, it’s a Southern all-star low budget cast.

Director James L. Conway went from Sunn movies like their Classics Illustrated TV movies such as Last of the Mohicans to Beyond and Back, Hangar 18, The Boogens and episodes of shows from Hardcastle and McCormick, Star Trek: The Next Generation and Charmed to The Orville and The Magicians. He also produced Charmed and created the series Burke’s Law and University Hospital.

As always with Sunn, I loved every minute of this, no matter how fake the beards looked.

Want to watch it? It was just released by Kino Lorber.

*The movie ends with this: “The story you have just seen is true. It has been authenticated with the following documents: Lafayette Baker Papers; James William Boyd Papers; Chaffey Shipping Company Papers; Andrew Potter Papers; National Detective Papers; Rep. George Julian’s Diary; James V. Barnes Papers; Ray A. Nef Papers; Paine-Powell Papers; Michael O’Laughlin Testimony; Edwin M. Stanton Letters; John Wilkes Booth Letters; Richard D. Mudd Papers; Dr. Samuel Mudd Papers; Col. Julian Raymond Papers; Larry Mooney Papers; John Wilkes Booth Purported Missing Diary Papers; “Web of Conspiracy” by Theodore Roscoe; “Mask of Treason” by Vaughn Shelton; “Why Was Lincoln Murdered?” by Otto Eisenschiml; “In the Shadow of Lincoln’s Death” by Otto Eisenschiml.”

SUPPORTER WEEK: Black Market Baby (1977)

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EDITOR’S NOTE: Today’s movie is brought to you by Jason, who made a one-time donation and told me to pick any 70’s TV I wanted. So how about an entire week?

Would you like to have me write about the movies of your choice? It’s simple!

  1. Go to our Ko-Fi site and donate. There’s no set amount and I won’t tell you what to do. In fact, if you just keep reading for free, we can still be friends.
  2. Join as a monthly member for just $1. That makes you a Little B&S’er.
  3. As a Medium B&S’er at just $3 a month, if you pick a movie or a director, I’ll write about them for you. In fact, I’ll do one for each month you subscribe and even dedicate the post to you.
  4. For $5 a month, you basically get some major power. As a Big B&S’er, I’ll write an entire week on any subject you’d like. How awesome would that be? In fact, I’ll do it for every month you’re a member. Do you think any of your other movie sites will do that for you?

Brut Productions was a film production company that — if the name doesn’t clue you in — was part of Fabergé cosmetics. Run by George Barrie — who in addition to creating the Brut fragrance also was nominated for the 1973 Academy Award for Best Original Song with Sammy Cahn for “All That Love Went To Waste” and in 1975 for “Now That We’re In Love” — it had Cary Grant on the board of directors and Roger Moore was an ambassador at large.

Their films include Cry for Me, Billy; Night Watch; A Touch of Class; Book of Numbers; Welcome to Arrow Beach; Miracles Still Happen; Hangup; Mean Johnny Barrows; Whiffs; Sweet Hostage; Hedda, Hugo the Hippo; I Will, I Will… for Now; Nasty Habits; Thieves; Fingers; The Class of Miss MacMichael and The Dream Merchants along with this film. Fabergé sold their interest in 17 films in 1982 for an undisclosed amount to Ted Turner.

Directed by Robert Day (She, The Man With Bogart’s Face, The Initiation of Sarah) and written by Andrew Peter Marin from the book by Elizabeth Christman, this stars Linda Purl (Visiting Hours) as Anne Macarino, a young woman who falls for Steve Aletti (Desi Arnaz Jr.) and doesn’t realize that he’s part of a scheme by medical student Herbert Freemont (Bill Bixby) to get an Italian Catholic baby that has some intelligence to replace the child that was lost by Jessica Walter as Joseph and Louise Carmino (David Doyle and Jessica Walter). Everyone is in on this, even the kindly obstetrician Dr. Andrew Brantford (Tom Bosley) who is seemingly helping her. Now, knocked up, she can’t tell her good Catholic family that she’s with child (Allen Joseph, Mr. X from Eraserhead is her father), Steve is ignoring her and she’s trapped in a home for expectant single mothers.

Even a really young Annie Potts shows up, so it has that going for it. It’s her first movie. She plays one of the other mothers who reveals that she’s selling her child and that’s when Anne loses it. Then she stays with the Carminos without knowing that they want her child.

This movie is essential if you think that David Doyle and Tom Bosley are the same person.

Back to that house for mothers. It’s owned by Mrs. Krieg, who is played by Lucille Benson, who will forever be Mrs. Elrod from Halloween II.

You can watch this on YouTube.

SUPPORTER WEEK: Telethon (1977)

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EDITOR’S NOTE: Today’s movie is brought to you by Jason, who made a one-time donation and told me to pick any 70’s TV I wanted. So how about an entire week?

Would you like to have me write about the movies of your choice? It’s simple!

  1. Go to our Ko-Fi site and donate. There’s no set amount and I won’t tell you what to do. In fact, if you just keep reading for free, we can still be friends.
  2. Join as a monthly member for just $1. That makes you a Little B&S’er.
  3. As a Medium B&S’er at just $3 a month, if you pick a movie or a director, I’ll write about them for you. In fact, I’ll do one for each month you subscribe and even dedicate the post to you.
  4. For $5 a month, you basically get some major power. As a Big B&S’er, I’ll write an entire week on any subject you’d like. How awesome would that be? In fact, I’ll do it for every month you’re a member. Do you think any of your other movie sites will do that for you?

Telethons were a big deal in the 1970s. So much so that more than one movie got made about them — besides this, there’s Americathon from 1979 — and the Easter Seals and Jerry Lewis MDA telethons were marathon events that we all watched because, well, we didn’t have that many channels.

A Las Vegas hospital is running out of money and the chance to have their annual telethon unless they raise $8 million this year. Filmed in and around the Dunes Hotel — which closed January 26, 1993 after a time where it became a shadow of itself and also had a series of arsons — this is like a disaster movie, in that it has a huge cast whose stories are all interconnected, mostly with Marty Rand (Red Buttons), the entertainer who has hosted the event every year being considered too old. His illegitimate daughter is also coming to Vegas to tell him that she’s his daughter,  Matt Tallman (Lloyd Bridges) saves Elaine Cotton (Janet Leigh) in the midst of a brawl — Vegas seems beyond Sin City here and not the family destination that it became — and you get people like Jimmie Walker, Sugar Ray Robinson and David Burton all playing themselves.

Plus you get Jill St. John, David Selby, Randi Oakes, Polly Bergen, Dick Clark, Eve Plumb in an adult role, Kent McCord, Edd Byrnes and John Marley all in the cast. Yes, the mob is involved and when isn’t it in Vegas?

Director David Lowell Rich is one of the kings of the TV movie, as well as the disaster film. After all, he made SST: Death Flight, The Horror at 37,000 Feet, The Runaway Train, Adventures Of the Queen and the theatrical disaster that was The Concorde … Airport ’79. He also directed Satan’s School for Girls, That Man Bolt, Scandal Sheet and episodes of Naked City, Route 66, The Twilight Zone, Mannix and Cannon.

It was written by Roger Wilton, who is a one and done writer.

Originally airing on November 6, 1977 on ABC, Telethon is a caught in amber view of what Vegas was like in 1977, a dangerous and violent place where you could win big money or lose it all just as easily.

You can watch this on YouTube, complete with commercials from Las Vegas, which makes the experience so much better.

SUPPORTER WEEK: The Strange Possession of Mrs. Oliver (1977)

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EDITOR’S NOTE: Today’s movie is brought to you by Jason, who made a one-time donation and told me to pick any 70’s TV I wanted. So how about an entire week?

Would you like to have me write about the movies of your choice? It’s simple!

  1. Go to our Ko-Fi site and donate. There’s no set amount and I won’t tell you what to do. In fact, if you just keep reading for free, we can still be friends.
  2. Join as a monthly member for just $1. That makes you a Little B&S’er.
  3. As a Medium B&S’er at just $3 a month, if you pick a movie or a director, I’ll write about them for you. In fact, I’ll do one for each month you subscribe and even dedicate the post to you.
  4. For $5 a month, you basically get some major power. As a Big B&S’er, I’ll write an entire week on any subject you’d like. How awesome would that be? In fact, I’ll do it for every month you’re a member. Do you think any of your other movie sites will do that for you?

Look, I’m a very simple man and if you give me a movie where Karen Black decides to start exploring her wild side by wearing wigs and shopping for clothes, who am I to say no? I dare say that watching Karen Black freak out in a shopping mall is my very definition of a genre of movie that I want there to be more of.

Originally airing on NBC on February 28, 1977, this was directed by Gordon Hessler (Scream, Pretty Peggy) and written by Richard Matheson (more than I can say) and again, you’re in the best of hands. Black plays Miriam Oliver, stuck in a controlling marriage with Greg (George Hamilton) until she goes shopping, finds a blonde wig and red top from Gloria LeRoy (Mildred “Boom Boom” Turner on All In the Family) and decides that she will become Sandy. Except that Sandy was a real person that other people knew and start thinking that Miriam is her back from going away. Or, as we learn, died five years ago.

Also: She dreams of her own death constantly.

Greg can’t understand why she doesn’t want him controlling her and having his babies and why she’d ever want a little house at Crystal Beach. Yet something supernatural is compelling Miriam to be Sandy and we’re along for the ride. She doesn’t need her glasses any more and it seems like she doesn’t need Greg to hold her down, not when a low cut top can make men lose their minds over her instead of responding to her crying and saying, “I had a dream that I died” with “That’s a nice dream. honey.”

Except that by the end, we learn that Miriam and Sandy were friends that could be confused with one another and there’s no possession, like the end of a Scooby-Doo episode when I get let down again that there’s no magic. And then Miriam goes back to her jerk of a husband and becomes repressed again and I have no idea what we’re to learn from that.

Speaking of Scooby-Doo, Hessler would make Kiss Meets the Phantom of the Park the next year.

You can watch this on YouTube.

The Farmer (1977)

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We watched The Farmer on the Drive-In Asylum Double Feature last year and I’ve been thinking about it ever since. I’d waited years to watch it and it more than was worth it.

This film was never released on home media — not on VHS, Beta, Laserdisc, DVD or any other release outside of theaters — until Scorpion Releasing put it out in 2022. Now, you can easily watch it on Tubi, a movie people waited for years to watch.

Originally written as a vehicle for Clint Eastwood — screenwriter George Fargo had acted with him in Dirty Harry, Play Misty for Me, Paint Your Wagon and Kelly’s Heroes — this was sold as a twenty-five page treatment to producer and star Gary Conway, who plays Kyle Martin. Martin is a hero of World War II, but his medals don’t help him run his one-man farm. He saves a gangster named Johnny (Michael Dante), who gives him $1,500, but it’s not enough. The bank barely pays him attention.

Johnny has no such money issues, especially after he screws over a mobster named Passini (George Memmoli) for $50,000. The boss finds him, kills Johnny’s bodyguard and then burns his eyes with acid. The gangster remembers the military man and has his girl Betty (Angel Tompkins) offer Kyle $50,000 to kill everyone. Kyle turns it down until Angel gets assaulted and his friend Gumshoe (Ken Renard) is killed.

And that’s when he basically becomes an unkillable slasher, taking out every single gangster one by one.

According to Tompkins, there was an alternate ending where — spoiler warning — the black soldier that Kyle stood up for at the beginning of the movie that has become a mob killer actually kills both of them. As she had never seen the movie, she had no idea that there is a happy ending.

Directed by David Berlatsky (the only movie he directed, but he edited The Deep) and written by Fargo, Janice Eymann, John Carmody and Patrick Regan, this is the kind of tough guy movie that has dialogue like “You made two mistakes: one was getting up and the other was making fun of Shirley Temple.” It also has a part for Sonny Shroyer, who would soon be Enos on The Dukes of Hazzard.

Memmoli got injured while making this and was in the hospital for most of the shooting. He only weighs 190 pounds in this, way less than his normal weight, but would get to nearly 500 pounds before his death. That accident also kept him from being in Taxi Driver.

The United States Conference of Catholic Bishops reviewed this movie and said, “Revenge story of a World War II veteran (Gary Conway) has arty pretensions but not a spark of intelligence. Mechanically directed by David Berlatsky, it is excessively brutal and sexually degrading.”

Sounds like a great review.

The Farmer has a song on its soundtrack by the name of “The American Dreamer” by singer-songwriter Gene Clark. How strange that it is from the Dennis Hopper documentary The American Dreamer, which is about the making of The Last Movie.

Conway is totally Rick Dalton. He went from his TV show Land of the Giants to appearing in low budget films and finally making this film, his own, to improve his career. He’d also bring a script he wanted to star in to Cannon and it totally got changed around. That script would end up being Over the Top and Conway would get to act in one Cannon film, playing The Lion in American Ninja 2.

There’s just something about this movie. Is it how inscrutable its hero is? How cathartic the violence is? The strange soundtrack by Hugo Montenegro? The fact that it took forever to be seen?

I don’t know. But I do know I think about it all the time.

You can watch this on Tubi.

Here’s a recipe to drink while you watch this movie.

ARROW BLU RAY RELEASE: The Shaolin Plot (1977)

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The last movie that fight choreographer Sammo Hung made with his mentor director Huang Feng (Lady Whirlwind, Hapkido) before directing The Iron-Fisted Monk, The Shaolin Plot is about Prince Daglen (Chan Sing) who is creating a library of Chinese martial arts manuals and learning each form so he becomes the greatest fighter in the world.

With only two manuals left, he sends a renegade monk (Hung) with two cymbals he uses to chop heads to take the Wu-Tang and Shaolin books. Yet for his plan to happen, Daglen will have to get inside the Shaolin temple, which will see him battle Little Tiger (James Tien) and a warrior monk team (Casanova Wong and Kwan Yung Moon).

I’m such a fool for movies like this, where people need to take all of the knowledge and moves and create their own ultimate style. Anything with the Wu-Tang or Shaolin makes me happy and as long as these movies keep getting re-released, I’m going to never stop watching them and throwing little kicks in the air as I cheer the fights.

As a fat guy who loves martial arts, I just have to say, “Thank you Sammo.” You have made all of us so proud.

The Arrow release of this movie has a 2K restoration from the original film elements by Fortune Star. It also has two commentary tracks, one by martial arts film experts Frank Djeng and Michael Worth and another by action cinema experts Mike Leeder and Arne Venema. Plus, there are trailers, a double-sided fold-out poster featuring original and newly commissioned artwork by Ilan Sheady, a reversible sleeve with both artwork and an illustrated collector’s booklet featuring new writing by Peter Glagowski.

You can get it from MVD.

APRIL MOVIE THON 3: This Is America (1977)

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April 2: Mondo Madness — Write about a mondo movie.

There was no internet in 1977 and the world was much larger, so the idea of what was in America could be seen as mysterious as countries like Africa that mondo filmmakers had already explored.

Directed and written by Romano Vanderbes (who also made This Is America Part 2, The Sex O’Clock News, America Exposed and the compilation Sex Maniac’s Guide to the U.S.A.), this is also known as Jabberwalk and starts with “America the Beautiful” being played by The Dictators.

The America in this movie is the one that the right warns you about. It’s a place where demolition derbies, pro wrestling — there’s Ivan Putski! — and mud wrestling are our three biggest sports. Polygamy, nude beaches are packed, love boutiques are shopped by teenage girls, quick divorce and fast marriage is the order of the day, plus there are rentable BDSM dungeons, group sex encounter groups, dildo factories and legal brothels are everywhere. Even when people decide to actually get married, they go to the Poconos and have to undertake mandatory gun shooting classes to prepare them for the cities and suburbs of the United States where violence is a celebrated fact of life. Even church is just done inside your car now so you can keep moving to whatever is next, which is usually sex or death or being hooked up to electrodes that shock you when you eat too many french fries. Sorry. Freedom fries.

Also known as Crazy Ridiculous American People, this has everything from Don Imus hosting the 1975 Miss All Bare American pageant to a worship ceremony at the Church of Satan (incorrectly saying that people get so excited that they start hurting one another during rituals), a dildo salesman, the Eros Awards for pornography — look for Fanne Fox, Bree Anthony, female rock band Isis, Ron Jeremy, C.J. Laing, Marc Stevens, Helen Madigan, Darby Lloyd Rains and naked people painted silver — as well as Arnold casually walking out of a Gold’s Gym, the AccuJack masturbation machine, a man getting his penis tattooed, hot dogs being made, a clown church, suicide’s being fished out of the water around the Golden Gate Bridge (by the way, when my wife and I were first dating, she made me watch The Bridge doc about this while drunk and I was worried why I was allowing her in my house and now we’ve been married for nine years), cryogenics, drive-in funerals, brothels for senior men where older women are paid five and even ten dollars to sleep with them, a bank robbery, the many deaths in an Indianapolis 500 race, co-ed prisons, Mormon men with twelve wives and so much more.

At one point, before that internet I discussed at the open and the one you’re reading this on now, these movies were shocking. Then again, Vanderbes is Dutch and should know all about Amsterdam and that America is pretty puritanical, but maybe in 1977 we were all about sex before Reagan and the Religious Right and AIDS.

It’s all voiced over by Norman Rose, who narrated Harold and the Purple Crayon, Tennessee Tuxedo, Message from Space, Pinocchio in Outer Space, War Between the Planets and Destroy All Monsters. He’s also Mr. Smith, the perverted dirty caller who gets Alice so excited in The Telephone Book.

What really gets me is that no matter how much sex is in this movie, there’s also the specter of Americanized violence leading everything. Our country was won by the gun and as movies like this and The Killing of America remind me, this kind of bloodshed that we gives hopes and prayers for every time and say that we can’t stop it and then it happens every single day. But it was like that in 1977 too as this movie continually reminds us. Worse, if it can get that way, kids today are upset about anything sexual while also fascinated, but not enough to make anything artistic or awesome. What I;m saying is that the 1970s of this movie are so far away that they only exist in this amber-grasp of VHS scuzz.

You can watch this on YouTube.

RE/SEARCH Incredibly Strange Films: Eaten Alive (1977)

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Tobe Hooper followed up The Texas Chainsaw Massacre with another film that examined the horror and depravity that existed with South Texas.

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre co-writer Kim Henkel was inspired by Joe Ball, the Alligator Man, who owned a live alligator attraction in the 1930s. Despite being suspected of several murders, legend had it that Ball would feed the dead women to his alligators. Ball started as a bootlegger before opening his Sociable Inn in Elmendorf, Texas, which was surrounded by a pond where he’d charge people to watch him feed them live cats and dogs. After former girlfriends, barmaids and even his wife went missing, two policemen tried to question him. He pulled a gun and shot himself — either in the head or the heart. That said — there are many that believe the stories about Joe Ball to be simply Texas folklore. He did exist, though.

Working under the title Death Trap (the film is also known as Horror Hotel and Starlight Slaughter), this entire film was made on a soundstage, using the Raleigh Studios pool as a swamp. This enabled Hooper to create what he called a “surrealistic, twilight world.” True to form, issues with the producers took him away from the film before the shooting ended, but he had a decent relationship with the actors. Cinematographer Robert Caramico finished the direction of the film once Hooper left.

This movie starts grimy and stays that way. Buck (Robert Englund in an early role) demands kinky sex from Clara Wood (Robert Collins, Matilda the Hun from Death Race 2000!), who refuses. This scene contains the line, “I’m Buck and I’m here to fuck,” line that Quentin Tarantino used in Kill Bill.

No one says no in Miss Hattie’s (Carolyn Jones, who is better known as Morticia Addams!) house of women, so Clara is kicked out. One of the girls takes pity and gives her money to stay at the Starlight Hotel, a rundown motel in the swamp. There, she meets the owner, Judd (Neville Brand, famous for playing Al Capone in The Untouchables TV series and The George Raft Story), who we soon learn is a demented sex maniac. He attacks her, chasing her into the swamp where a Nile crocodile eats her. Yep — don’t get too attached to anyone here. This is very Psycho territory, where bad people meet even worse ends.

A couple soon arrives — Faye (Marilyn Burns, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre) and Roy (William Finley, Winslow Leach from Phantom of the Paradise), along with their daughter Angie (Kyle Richards, Lindsey Wallace from Halloween!) and dog Snoopy. Don’t get attached to Snoopy, who isn’t long for this world. As Angie finds a dead monkey and screams, the dog runs into the swamp where he is eaten. Roy goes to kill the gator, but is stabbed by Judd’s scythe. Then, the insane motel owner ties Faye to the bed and tries to grab Angie, who hides under the porch of the building.

Harvey Wood (Mel Ferrer, The Visitor, The Antichrist and first husband of Audrey Hepburn) arrives with his daughter Libby looking for Clara. Sherrif Martin (Stuart Whitman, Guyana: Crime of the Century, The Monster Club, Ruby) helps them as they search for Harvey’s runaway daughter. Libby goes out with the sheriff while Harvey stays back at the hotel. As he finds Faye tied to the bed, he’s also killed by Judd and his scythe.

The sheriff kicks Buck out of the bar — remember him? — and he goes to the Starlight with his underage girlfriend. While they’re having sex, they hear a scream. Buck discovers Faye, but is pushed into the swamp where he is devoured.

Finally, Libby comes back and saves her sister and Angie. Judd goes insane and chases them into the swamp where he’s eaten by his own gator. Or crocodile — the movie is never sure.

I’ve always joked that Rob Zombie is continually trying to remake The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2. After watching this, I get the feeling that this is the movie he wants to make. It’s covered in a layer of filth from beginning to end, with characters coming and going, people getting killed horrifically and style triumphing over coherent plot. Even better, there’s a mix of actors that you instantly recognize playing some great roles, particularly Neville Brand, whose muttering insanity is total perfection. There’s also a great electronic score that really sets the mood — even ending in a crash after the final credits.

True to his promise, Hooper delivers a film that feels like a nightmare throughout. Its dream logic makes for an occasionally funny, often grotesque movie that is never boring.

Here’s the episode of the podcast about this movie.

RE/SEARCH Incredibly Strange Films: Ilsa, the Tigress of Siberia (1977)

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The third sequel to Ilsa, She Wolf of the SS, this film finds Ilsa — didn’t she die a few times along the way? — changing sides from the Third Reich to the USSR as she runs Siberian Gulag 14, where she mentally and physically decimates men.

When Stalin dies, Ilsa burns the camp to the ground leaving no one alive except for Andrei Chikurin, who escapes and vows to get revenge. Twenty years later, he learns that Isla now runs a brothel in Canada when the Russian hockey team plays several games there.

According to the amazing Canuxploitation, Ilsa is actually a Canadian creation. When Lee Frost and David F. Friedman made big money with Love Camp 7 in Canada, Cinepix’s Andr Link and John Dunning wrote the script for Ilsa and got Friedman on board as a producer. Despite being the man who hired Dyanne Thorne for the role, issues with Cinepix and producer Don Carmody would have Friedman disown the movie.

Amazingly, this was produced by Ivan Reitman (using the name Julian Parnell).

This movie has a Siberian tiger named Sasha that Ilsa feeds men to, as well as many icy and watery graves and a scene where men arm wrestle over a running chainsaw. And each night, the men wrestle one another while a nude Ilsa challenges them to be the only two to come to her room where she’s definitely ahead of the adult film curve and very into DP (and I thought that was popularized by Ginger Lynn). She also has a mad scientist named Leve who has figured out ways to use photos and music to get into people’s brains.

Andrei Chikurin (Michel Morin) is the one man that she can’t break. He’s the one who killed her tiger and escaped the gulag and now, as the manager of the Russian hockey team, he somehow finds the one Montreal bordello called Aphrodite that Ilsa is the boss of. As he sits in the waiting room, her men take him and she tries to break him again — and make love to him, of course — before he’s freed by the Russian mafia and all manner of near Eurospy wildness goes down.

Director Jean LaFleur also made The Mystery of the Million Dollar Hockey Puck which has a lot of footage that was taken for this movie. It’s in no way as insane as the other Ilsa films — I mean, they have to contend with Jess Franco’s insane Ilsa, The Wicked Warden — but there’s lots of silly fun to be had. There’s also the ending, where Ilsa is left in the midst of nowhere, left with just her money to burn to stay alive.

RE/SEARCH Incredibly Strange Films: Ilsa, the Wicked Warden (1977)

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If you thought that Ilsa, She-Wolf of the SS was the limit, this movie makes it feel as if Jess Franco tool that movie as a personal challenge to somehow create something innumerable times sleazier.

Considered the third movie in the series — even if it wasn’t filmed as a sequel — and also known as Greta, the Mad Butcher, Ilsa: Absolute Power and Wanda, the Wicked Warden, this stars the women who is Ilsa, Dyanne Thorne, as Greta. She’s running a psychiatric hospital for young women, which gives her plenty of opportunities to indulge her more, shall we say, psychosexual side.

Probably shot at the same time — who knows, maybe even the same place — as Barbed Wire Dolls, the heroine of this story is Abbie Phillips, whose sister died inside the walls of Greta’s hospital, and now must infiltrate the hospital and find out why.

The amazing thing about this movie is that as wild as Ilsa has been in the past, she’s now entering the ninth circle of voyeur hell where director Jess Franco and his muse, Lina Romay, reside. Lina plays a prisoner named Juana who keeps the other female prisoners in line as well as lined up for prostitution and pornography. Also, in one scene that might break your mind, she follows a prison toilet BM by forcing Abbie to be human toilet paper. Yes, this happens and yes, this movie played American theaters and I have no idea how.

Snuff movies, acupuncture gone wrong, scarred women being used by cruel men, Lina Romay no doubt looking as perfect as she ever will or ever did and being the meanest woman in the world in a manner so brutal that she can only devour — literally — the previous champion in an ending that is either going to flip your stomach, raise your fist in triumph or both and Franco pretty much running through the motions he did in so many other women in prison movies, except Franco through the motions is still way more magical and insane and upsetting and sleazy and can you endure this than anyone perhaps ever.