Directed and written by Xan Cassavetes, the daughter of John Cassavetes and Gena Rowlands, Kiss of the Vampire is a simple story told beyond well. Djuna (Josephine de La Baume) is a vampire who translates for a living and only drinks animal blood. She tries to stay away from humans, but movie writer Paolo (Milo Ventimiglia) falls for her when he sees her in a video store. He can’t stay away, no matter how much she pushes him away, so when she reveals her vampire side to him, he quickly is turned and becomes part of her world.

The bad news? Her world includes her sister Mimi (Roxane Mesquida), who quickly ruins the vampiric high society led by actress Xenia (Anna Mouglalis) as she murders humans without a thought and seducing both Paolo with her body and Xenia by offering her a fan of hers (Riley Keough).

The good news? Vampire familiars always take care of things. In this case, Irene (Ching Valdes-Aran) watches Mimi explode in the sunlight and lights a cigarette from her.

I liked how this movie presents a world where vampires are part of society. Most of all, I loved that this is closer to 70s Eurohorror — if this had a grandfather clock or a scene on a foggy beach with a pirate ship, I’d think it was a Jean Rollin movie — than anything Hollywood has to say about the living dead. Sure, it’s arty and even overly full of itself, but it has a hot redhead vampire who watches movies by Bunuel and De Sica, not to mention a great soundtrack. I’m sure that so many people watched this for artistic reasons, but if you watch it because it’s actually sleazy, filled with pretty people and has so much sex in it, I won’t be upset.

As always, the line between the arthouse and grindhouse is thin.

You can watch this on Tubi.

Craig Titus and Kelly Ryan were fitness celebrities. Titus often finished in the top ten of International Fitness and Bodybuilding Federation competitions and met his wife Kelly through these events. Before that, he’d been arrested for selling ecstasy and then violated his probation by doing steroids, but he had turned things around. Then, he and his wife hired Melissa James as a live-in personal assistant, but things went wrong.

Directed by Jodi Binstock (Prisoner of Love) and written by Maggie Mock (Tempted), this film casts Brock Yurich as Titus, Tory Trowbridge as Kelly and Paris Smith as Melissa. It tries to show each person’s point of view but quickly gets to the dark ending where the couple kills and burns Melissa in the back of a car.

In this movie, it’s difficult to tell if Craig ever loved Melissa, as he treats her horribly and then calls her right back, telling her that she’s perfect and that he needs her. What version of the story is telling this? Maybe he was all over the place, but his character is hard to pin down. Perhaps that was what it was like and why Melissa stayed around. Bonus points for a scene where she gets all coked up in a dance studio and starts doing multiple dance routines while calling him and screaming into the phone while she’s jamming out. His exasperation made me laugh as he shaved his chest in the shower.

You can watch this on Tubi.

An underground casino run by Priscilla (Adrienne Barbeau) recruits Nina (Kyla Burke), a girl who grew up as nearly an orphan and whose parents were connected to this life. She uses her business degree to try and grow the place and make it safer for the girls who work there, but there are dangerous men — murderous ones — who want to stay ahead in the gambling game.

Directed by Dylan Vox (Deadly DILF) and written by Ellen Huggins (Good Wife’s Guide to Murder) and Jeremy M. Inman (Sinister Squad), this gives you what you expect from casino movies: gambling scenes, double crosses, murder and plenty of gorgeous women like Carole Davis, Lilian Wouters, Brooke Maroon, Savoy Bailey and Sarah Buxton.

It’s also not the worst movie that I’ve watched just because Adrienne Barbeau was in it. I’ve gotten old and gray and she still looks beautiful. I really liked her in this, as the older woman who is trapped by this life and trying to keep the other girls out of it. Sure, there’s nothing new in this, but most Tubi Originals are great movies for rainy weekend afternoons that allow you to fall asleep and wake up whenever and keep watching. There’s not much demand on you. That’s nice.

You can watch this on Tubi.

A student in her class asks Marianne (Noémie Merlant) a question. She wants to know about one of her works, Portrait de la Jeune fille en feu. This takes her back to the past when she was hired to paint the portrait of Héloïse (Adèle Haenel), who had been taken out of a convent to marry a Milanese nobleman after her sister’s suicide. The rich girl does not know that she is being painted, so Marianne acts as the hired help as she memorizes her features and creates the piece in secret.

As she finishes the painting, Marianne feels terrible that she lied, so she shares it with Héloïse, who thinks it doesn’t capture her. After destroying the painting, the artist is about to be let go when Héloïse says she will sit for a new portrait. After just five days, she begins a new picture, but this time is filled with them falling in love as the girl’s mother (Valeria Golino) leaves the house. They debate the meaning of Orpheus and Eurydice; they dance around a fire, help a servant get an abortion and make love. Then, after the portrait has been approved, Marianne must leave.

In her life, Marianne would only see her two more times, both in secret, as she saw a painting of Héloïse with a child but holding a book that had page 28 being revealed. This is the page where the artist drew a nude sketch of her. Then, many years later, she spies her crying and smiling as an orchestra plays Vivaldi’s Four Seasons, music that she had introduced the noblewoman to so many decades before.

Voted the 30th greatest film of all time in the Sight and Sound Greatest Films of All Time 2022, the highest of films released in the 2010s, this movie may not remind many of Jean Rollin, but its languid pace and the running down the beach reminded me of the times I have spent watching his syrup soft, slow-moving vampires emerge from grandfather clocks on French sands. Director and writer Céline Sciamma created a meditation on love, which made me sadder when I learned that she and Adèle Haenel had broken up before filming.

Years ago, Odessa (Dave Larsen) and Kyle James (David Gunn) killed their parents and became media darlings. But when they escape death row and break into the Ryan family’s home, they have no idea what they’re in for.

Sure, dad Charles (Burke Morgan) is weird and we expect him to be be a horrible person, but mother Rea (Damian Hoffer) is a murderous sex worker and daughters Jami (Nanette Bianchi) and Jenny (Renee Cohen) also have even more secrets. They may even be quite attracted to the James brothers.

And while we’re exploring hidden things, we must ask, what’s in the basement?

This is somehow Natural Born Killers mixed with a bit of The People Under the Stairs, but that gives away so many of the twists in this. Parts of it are clunky, the acting isn’t perfect and it seems like it wants to be edgelord Tarantino — do you remember the post-Reservoir Dogs 90s? — but that gives this a charm that won me over. There was once a time when movies like this were available at your video store and you’d wonder exactly what you were about to watch when you brought that blind rental home. I miss those opportunities and if you do as well, good news. Killers is easier to find now, thanks to its Synapse release. Unless you were in Germany reading this and then, you probably already know all about it.

This Synapse release features audio commentary with director Mike Mendez and horror scholar Michael Gingold, trailers, liner notes booklet by critic/writer Heather Drain and an alternate ending. You can get it from MVD.

Directed by Seth A. Smith (Lowlife) and written by Darcy Spidle, this is yet another story of a coastal town that is filled with menace, a place where people should not go. After the death of her husband Peter (Andrew Gillis), Beth (Danika Vandersteen) and her son Lowen (Woodrow Graves, the son of Smith and producer Nancy Urich) retreat from life to live in a beach house. Perhaps the new surroundings will ease her grief and give her time to explore her art, paper marbling, the art of transforming paper with water, collage and painting.

As Lowen begins to act out — how else would a child deal with the death of his father? — Beth is menaced by a strange man named Joseph (Terrance Murray). He pushes her over the edge as she abandons her son and tries to drown herself, leaving him alone with a beach filled with whatever the residents of this town may be.

If you’re looking for something fast and easy to figure out, this is not that movie. This is a slow scene of people wandering open spaces, living in lonely houses, and answering telephone calls from ghosts. It is swirling paint, walking into the ocean, and flashbacks that feel tense when they should be freeing. Beth’s mother ((Andrea Kenyon) told her that she couldn’t care for her son correctly, and we wondered, “Is she right?” What will happen to a boy left alone, wandering the spectral shores of a town that feels between death and whatever is next?

Yes, I can see how people could hate this movie as easily as they love it.

You can watch this on Tubi.