July 21-27 Eddie Griffin Week: This motherfucker is funny!

Blast is filled with people who seemingly should be doing better.

Like Vinnie Jones, who plays terrorist Michael Kittredge, who is posing as a protester of an oil rig to get his mercenaries onto it and detonate a dirty bomb.

Or Vivica A. Fox, who is FBI Agent Reed, who recruits our hero.

Or that hero, Eddie Griffin, who should be a much bigger star and not in Die Hard on an oil platform as a tugboat captain with an adopted white kid who sounds like a dubbed Italian child. Yes, all the ADR was done way after the movie and none of the actual people did no their voices.

Tiny Lister? You’re Zeus. You shouldn’t be in this.

Nor should Shaggy. It wasn’t me, Shaggy.

Maybe Breckin Meyer should be in this. No, come on, be nice. He deserves some kindness.

Shockingly, this was directed by Anthony Hickox, who had previously made Waxwork, and written by Steven E. de Souza and Horst Freund. Yes, the same de Souza who wrote…Die Hard.

Just like an Italian movie, this takes scenes from Top Gun for the jets, to the point that you can see Maverick’s name on the side of the vehicle. It also takes footage from Backdraft.

Thanks to Matty from the most magical site of all time, The Schlock Pit, I can report that this movie was a remake of the German TV movie Operation Noah. That’s where the Horst Freund credit is from.

You can watch this on Tubi.

July 21-27 Eddie Griffin Week: This motherfucker is funny!

When I was a little kid, I would often see ads late at night for touring black plays that were coming to churches and community centers, usually starring my favorite actors from Good Times or What’s Happening? I would ask my parents if we could go, and I didn’t understand that this was an experience maybe not for a 7-year-old white kid from the sticks. I still wish I had gon, and this movie proves I would have loved it.

Directed and written by David E. Talbert, this has a logline that made me tune in: “When the blue-collar Jordan family wins a radio contest for a million dollars, they quickly begin to realize that more money means more problems. It seems everybody wants a piece of their new fortune, including a long-lost uncle played masterfully by comedian Eddie Griffin.”

Then again, this IMDB reviewer did not enjoy this: “The story moved extremely slowly. The jokes were mediocre, and the storyline was just so-so. Even so, I will continue to support black playwrights, artists & businesses.”

At least they’re supportive!

There was also a 10/10 review that stated, “If you have an hour and forty minutes to waste, this is OK”, and another 9/10 review that claimed, “For reviews of theatrical singing only.”

Not high praise.

Anyways, the Jordan family is struggling. The factory has closed, leaving the father jobless. His wife is ready to leave him, the son is trying to help out by becoming a gangster, and the daughter is dating the gangster, only for her soldier ex-boyfriend to come home. Only grandma is happy, because all she does is go to church and sing her songs. As for Uncle Eddie (Eddie Griffin), he was once in trouble but seems to have turned his life around, even if no one believes it.

Money changes everything, as they say, but as they also say, more money, more problems. As you can imagine, everything works out fine in the end. It feels like the play where you kind of had to be there, and the movie really isn’t. I worry that people might think I’m enjoying this inauthentically. Still, as a long-time lover of shows like Soul Train and Showtime at the Apollo , which aired during the mid-afternoon on weekends and at night, I would be, with all my heart, singing along and laughing.

You can watch this on Tubi.

July 21-27 Eddie Griffin Week: This motherfucker is funny!

Is Eddie Griffin becoming the black comedy Eric Roberts? How else can we explain him playing the devil in this film, the demon who got Donald Trump (Jeff Rector, whose career includes Dinosaur Valley Girls, Street Soldiers, and Hellmaster) to the White House? All those times that he got away with things that you didn’t understand? All the devil.

Director Parem Gill must have something on Eddie, as he also directed Going to America, another movie starring the actor.

This is essentially everything we experienced in 2016. I didn’t enjoy it then, and I don’t really want to see it now. That said, the casting of Stormy Daniels as herself is somewhat inspired. As for Putin (Kevin Indio Copeland) being part of this hellplot, well, sure. I guess.

This should be a stunning indictment, but it’s instead a boring nap, one from which you wake up hating yourself. Why does the devil need a Game of Thrones chair? Why did I watch this? I use movies to escape, and this made me question everything I believe in, like spending day after day in my basement, watching Jess Franco movies. Man, if Jess and Lina were alive, they’d make a pretty good Trump movie. I imagine he steals diamonds, uses them to pay off Lina for his affair, and then ends up facing off with the Red Lips, only to be drained of life by Soledad Miranda.

Maybe that’s a good use of AI, finally, huh?

You can watch this on Tubi.

July 21-27 Eddie Griffin Week: This motherfucker is funny!

Tired of Hollywood’s unrealistic urban films, Davon (director and writer Coke Daniels) brings in a pimp named Tony (Howie Bell) to represent him. He wants to make a movie, Hood Times, but all the rich Hollywood white people have no interest in what he wants to put his energy into.

Davon has a woman who loves him and supports him, but he hates his life. The decision to bring in a pimp to manage him, however, seems to be one not all that well thought out. At least there are some movies within the movie and appearances by Tiny Lister, Jr. and Eddie Griffin. Is Eddie the black Eric Roberts? With all the movies of his that I’ve been watching on Tubi, it seems that way.

You can watch this on Tubi.

July 21-27 Eddie Griffin Week: This motherfucker is funny!

San Diego cop Michael (Jaleel White, yes, Urkel) goes off to announce his engagement to Ashley (Jennia Fredrique) to her family. It does not go well. Father Jake (Clifton Powell) was a Black Panther who went to jail for killing a job; brother June Bug (DeRay Davis) is a gangster who also hates the police; Uncle Ray Ray (Mark Chalant Pfiefer) is a garbageman who also despises law enforcement officials; Mookie (Daphne Bloomer) is only concerned about potato salad. At least Ashley’s mom (Ella Joyce) is somewhat understanding that her daughter is in love.

Coke Daniels also made My Baby’s Daddy. He directed and wrote this, somehow managing to get Tiny Lister and Eddie Griffin to play cameos. If you’re elated by humor where old people smoke marijuana and are horny, well, good news. This movie is for you.

Why did they spell the title wrong? It never pays off. I need to know, as someone who truly loves potato salad.

There’s also a scene where the dad repeatedly calls Michael a pig and tells him that he will murder him if he marries his daughter. It is a comedy, but it is not played for laughs.

You can watch this on Tubi.

July 21-27 Eddie Griffin Week: This motherfucker is funny!

Fumnanya (Eddie Griffin) — a would-be African prince, so this isn’t ripping off the other Eddie’s movie — and Andy (Josh Meyers) escape from their doctor and mental hospital to go on the road with a video camera, making a movie about saving a princess. She turns out to be Candy (Najarra Townsend), a sex worker who is tired of being alive and wants the two to help her end it all. Their movies end up going viral on YouTube and they earn the anger of her pimp Rocco (Dave Vescio), who wants his property back.

Originally titled “Last Supper,” this film was directed by Param Gill, who also wrote the script alongside John Buchanan. It was based on a Slovenian movie, which was supposedly the biggest in the country’s history, yet I can find no information on it online.

This is one of those sweet and saccharine comedies with romance at its core. It’s fine, but it feels like everyone could be doing so much more.

Penny Marshall also shows up in a cameo as herself.

You can watch this on Tubi.

July 21-27 Eddie Griffin Week: This motherfucker is funny!

Inspired by the Marx Brothers comedies A Night at the Opera and A Day at the Races, Brain Donors finds Roland T. Flakfizer (John Turturro), Jacques (Bob Nelson) and Rocco Melonchek (Mel Smith) as its heroes, as they screw up an opera being put on by Lillian Oglethorpe (Nancy Marchand), a wealthy widow.

Director Dennis Dugan wanted Adam Sandler for this, but Paramount disagreed. He’d work with the comedy star on several films after this. It was written by Pat Proft, along with some assistance by David and Jerry Zucker, who produced this. When they left Paramount, the name was changed from Lame Ducks and a theatrical run was pretty much shelved, leaving this movie to find its audience on home video.

If you love slapstick humor or are ready to call out the Marx Brothers references in this, you’re going to love it. As for Eddie Griffith, he shows up as a messenger. I love how much fun Turturro seems to be having, as he’s usually in serious roles.

July 14-20  Vanity Project Week: “…it might be said that the specific remedy for vanity is laughter, and that the one failing that is essentially laughter is vanity.” Are these products of passionate and industrious independent filmmakers OR outrageous glimpses into the inner workings of self-obsessed maniacs??

I wrote about the story of Yahoo Serious when I mentioned Mr. Accident. I enjoyed that movie so much that I’m here again, watching another Yahoo movie.

Directed, written and produced by its star — Serious — this takes the Australian language of Ned Kelly, who may have died in 1880 when he was lynched, and moves it to today. Or some strange world that only exists in the films of Yahoo Serious.

Bank CEO Sir John (Hugo Weaving) is sick of the Kelly family, so he forecloses on their house. This sends Ned to Hollywood to try and make money in a more honest way, as he can’t rob banks when the money can benefit himself.

Our bulletproof hero with homemade armor ends up getting a part in the movie The Christian Cowboy, which gives him a motorcycle with a neon crucifix on it.

Variety said, “Comic’s second outing, produced on a far larger budget and with the backing of Warners, is full of ideas and nonsense but short on genuine laughs and zest.”

I disagree, but I can admit that Yahoo’s movies exist in a world that none of us live in. And Alexei Sayle and John Pinette are in it? Man, this is a lot of fun despite being one of the goofier and dumber films I’ve watched lately. Like Jerry Lewis, it feels like Serious wants to throw everything he has at you to keep you laughing.

July 14-20  Vanity Project Week: “…it might be said that the specific remedy for vanity is laughter, and that the one failing that is essentially laughter is vanity.” Are these products of passionate and industrious independent filmmakers OR outrageous glimpses into the inner workings of self-obsessed maniacs??

Born in Akron, Ohio, Damon Packard is the grandson of Sam Pollock, who organized the Amalgamated Meat Cutters of Akron, working to limit the workweek, establish employer-paid wellness funds, implement a prepaid direct-service medical care program, raise wages, and more. At the time of his death, he owned one of the largest and most respected private collections of union-related publications in the United States, with most books signed by their authors.

He started making films in college, including the Miles O’Keefe-starring Dawn of an Evil Millennium, as well as Apple, an elf fantasy film made while he lived in a tent for two years in Hawaii. After receiving an inheritance, he made this film, which he directed, wrote, and starred in, as well as handling most of the other aspects. He created 23,000 DVDs and gave them for free, as well as sending the movie to celebrities.

It starts with an introduction by Tony Curtis, stolen from another film. It features numerous snippets of movies that aired on the CBS Late Movie, giving the impression that you’re sitting in front of a thousand TVs all changing channels at once. It’s also about Steven Spielberg making Something Evil, as well as Julie, a teen who died from an overdose in a supernatural drug cult in the early 70s just like an afterschool special, now a specter searching from beyond the grave for her brother Bob (Packard), an overweight homeless man who wears several unworking headphones, all the clothes that he wears on his back and seems to lose his mind every few minutes.

With a drug freakout inside Universal Studios on E.T. Adventure, a bloody axe fight that Bob recovers from immediately, strange audio blasts followed by Carpenters songs, appearances by Lana Turner, George Hamilton and Joey Heatherton, an extended vomit sequence, 137 minutes of Los Angeles being Hell, even the guardians of the city losing their minds, anger and rage at all times. Shot on 16mm, Super 8 and Digital 8, formats don’t matter when so much has to be related to you, as if you’re either watching one of those tapes you’re forced to endure when you get a minimum wage job or you’re being Stockholmed into a death cult. Maybe both.

I’m struggling to explain what I’ve seen. It ruined me for a few days, rendering me unable to watch any other films and I consider that the highest compliment I can give a movie.

DVDR Party has the Something Evil remix for sale, as well as all of Packard’s films. I feel like I’m going to blow my next pay on his movies. Maybe it’ll be enough for him to make something new.

You can watch this on Tubi.