CANNON MONTH 3: Emanuelle In Egypt (1976)

EDITOR’S NOTE: As the journey through Cannon continues, this week we’re exploring the films of 21st Century Film Corporation, which would be the company that Menahem Golan would take over after Cannon. Formed by Tom Ward and Art Schweitzer in 1971 (or 1976, there are some disputed expert opinions), 21st Century had a great logo and released some wild stuff.

Every time I write about a Laura Gemser movie, I always say to myself, “Just be cool. Don’t write an entire article just about how gorgeous she is and how you can’t even concentrate on the screen when she’s in a movie.”

So let me get it out of my system.

There’s an absolutely insane moment in this movie where Laura’s husband Carlo (Gabriele Tinti) demands that she pose for him in front of a desert vista filled with dead bodies and blood. As she barely remains inside her dress, she bends backward and begins a series of poses that make her seemingly take the form of Kali, all at once becoming the goddess of time, death, violence, sexuality, female empowerment and motherly love as she transcends this mortal world of warfare and sadness to become ethereal, something beyond our understanding.

Thanks, I feel a lot better.

This movie is supposed to be all about Crystal (Nieves Navarro)…

Wait a second, Nieves Navarro is in the same movie as Laura Gemser?

Why did anyone make movies after this? You have pretty much scored a perfect cast.

Anyways, I guess I should finish this review I started.

Crystal’s husband has left her, as if any man is dumb enough to run from Susan Scott, and she has moved in with her daughter Magda (Ziggy Zanger, who also in Black Cobra with Gemser and her name sounds like a Spice Girls lyric). She sleeps with their servant Ali (Tarik Ali), who is mainly teased by her daughter, and then both of them fall for a spiritualist named Horatio (Al Cliver, did I cast this movie?).

After an evening reconnecting with Laura and Carlo, as well as drinking too much with former Hollywood actor, Hal (Feodor Chaliapin Jr.), mother and daughter end up having a menage a trois while everyone watches.

Pina (Annie Belle, yes, I definitely casted this movie) soon comes to stay and falls for Laura. They end up stranding her husband in the desert after he forces Laura to pose on the top of a pile of human excrement while villagers throw feces at her. Yes, this happens, and no, this is not a Joe D’Amato movie. I am as shocked as you.

As if that’s not wild enough, Horatio later — I mean, after the obligatory visit a foreign brothel and watch ladies and then a lovemaking scene between Gemser and Belle that the foreign investors were just throwing money at — hypnotizes Laura into having convulsions and killing a goat drinking its blood because, well, that’s what you do in Italian movie parties.

So yes, Horatio ends up sleeping with Pina even though her psychic powers allow her to block his hypnosis — yes this happens — and then her mom tries to kill herself and Pina realizes that she should just let Al Cliver fight zombies and run off with Laura Gemser. After all, Al Cliver is no sex guru when you’ve seen George Eastman do the same in Emanuelle Around the World.

Sex gurus are to Black Emanuelle as stolen diamonds are to Jess Franco.

Director Brunello Rondi worked with Fellini on the scripts for 8 1/2La Dolce VitaJuliet of the SpiritsOrchestra Rehearsal and City of Women. His first film, Violent Life, was written by Pasolini and he also directed Le tue mani sul mio corpo, Run. Psycho, Run and The Demon. He wrote this film with Ferdinando Baldi, the director of Treasure of the Four Crowns.

The alternate Black EmmanuelleWhite Emmanuelle title suggests that there is an Emanuelle or Emmanuelle cinematic universe where Black Emmanuelle (Gemser) and White Emmanuelle (Belle, whose movie Laure is also called Forever Emmanuelle and not only was directed and written by the real Emmanuelle Arsan, but co-stars her) cross over and by cross over, I mean scissor.

Also: Disco dancing.

According to Temple of Schlock, this was released by Dimension Pictures as Smooth VelvetRaw Silk in 1978 and re-released in 1979 as Naked Paradise. VCI released it on home video as Naked Paradise before 21st Century, who bought it from Dimension, licensed it to Continental Video as Emanuelle In Egypt.

CANNON MONTH 3: Tomcats (1976)

EDITOR’S NOTE: As the journey through Cannon continues, this week we’re exploring the films of 21st Century Film Corporation, which would be the company that Menahem Golan would take over after Cannon. Formed by Tom Ward and Art Schweitzer in 1971 (or 1976, there are some disputed expert opinions), 21st Century had a great logo and released some wild stuff.

What if Death Wish had a bad payoff? Then it would be Tomcats, a movie that has a great poster and really gets you into the theater with it and then says, “Thanks for your money.”

A bunch of maniacs — M.J. (Wayne Crawford), Johnny (Daniel Schweitzer), Billy (Jim Curee) and Curly (Sam Moree) — are assaulting waitresses and get away with it. One of their brothers, Cullen (Chris Mulkey), decides that he has to get justice all on his own for his dead sister Wendy.

Take another look at that poster, which makes you think this is going to be a wacky sex comedy and go read that paragraph again.

Director Harry Kerwin also made Barracuda, Cheering SectionGod’s Bloody AcreIt’s a Revolution Mother and Sweet Bird of Aquarius. You may recognize his last name, as his brother is William Kerwin, who shows up in several Herschell Gordon Lewis movies. He plays a detective in this that allows Cullen to go outside of the law.

The trailer is also great as it has Don Steele talking you into the theater only for them to just grab your money and run.

Released by Dimension Pictures in 1977. this was bought by 21st Century, who licensed it to Continental Video under the title Avenged. It was also released as Getting Even and Deadbeat.

The Sizzlin’ Something Weird Summer Challenge 2024: Web of the Spider (1971)

BONUS WILDCARD WEEK (September 22 – 28) Go order something from the SWV website and watch it!

After Castle of Blood‘s disappointing box office, Antonio Margheriti felt he could remake the film in color and have it be more successful.

Edgar Allan Poe (Klaus Kinski) is our narrator and Kinski shows up for the beginning and the ending of the movie. He’s interviewed by Alan Foster (Anthony Franciosa), who challenges him as to the truth of his stories. This leads to a bed with Lord Blackwood (Enrico Osterman) about spending a night in his castle, a place where he soon meets Elisabeth (Michèle Mercier, Black Sabbath) and quickly falls into love — and bed — with her before she announces that she’s no longer alive.

There’s also Julia (Karin Field), William Perkins (Silvano Tranquilli) and Elisabeth’s husband,Dr. Carmus (Peter Carsten). The ghosts need his blood to come back to life, but Elisabeth helps him to escape, only for him to impale himself on the gate, dying just as Poe gets there.

I adore that the tagline of this is “Based on Edgar Allan Poe’s Night of the Living Dead.” He did write a poem “Spirits of the Dead” and the 1932 movie The Living Dead was based on Poe’s “The Black Cat” and “The System of Doctor Tarr and Professor Fether” as well as Robert Louis Stevenson’s The Suicide Club. But no, he has nothing to do with Romero’s movie.

I really like the soundtrack by Riz Ortolani but this can’t compare to the black and white — and yes, Barbara Steele appearance — in the original. That said, Kinski is awesome in every second he’s on screen, looking like a complete madman.

The Sizzlin’ Something Weird Summer Challenge 2024: Something Creeping in the Dark (1971)

BONUS WILDCARD WEEK (September 22 – 28) Go order something from the SWV website and watch it!

Qualcosa Striscia nel Buio may mean Something Crawls in the Dark, but the inexact translation of the original title is what this played in the U.S. as.

A series of travelers are headed out into a foreboding evening — it was a cold, dark night — when they realize that a washed-out bridge means that they’re all finding shelter in the same house that was once the home of a lady occultist. The cars contain all manner of individuals with their own reasons for being out in the storm, like the two detectives transporting a restrained Farley Grainger, a fighting husband and wife, and a surgeon and his assistant.

Of course, one of these folks will decide to conduct a seance and that’s the point where everything falls to pieces. The result of this occult ritual is that everyone becomes possessed and starts acting like Ecstasy-loving maniacs. And with the phone lines not working, the bridge out and a storm outside — and now inside an emotional weather outburst happening — the movie transitions from giallo to outright gothic horror.

There’s also a butler named Joe who just happens to keep a pantsless woman who he occasionally makes love to, as well as a POV camera view that keeps happening, making this film stand out from the giallo pack somewhat as the ghost takes over each person, making them give in to their desires and even stopping clocks dead.

“Exorcism…the Occult…A Horror-Filled Night In A House Of Terror!” Writer and director Mario Colucci only directed one other movie, Revenge for Revenge, that he also wrote, directed and acted in. There are some interesting actors other than Granger here, such as Italian Neorealist actress Lucia Bosè (she’s also in Arcana), Giacomo Rossi Stuart (Kill, Baby, KillThe Night Evelyn Came Out of the Grave), Angelo Francesco Lavagnino (who is in Fulci’s Beatrice Cenci as well as Orson Welles’ Othello and Chimes at Midnight) and Loredana Nusciak (Maria, the lover of Django) appearing as the photo of the lady of the house, who we are to believe is the ghost.

The Sizzlin’ Something Weird Summer Challenge 2024: The Playgirls and the Vampire (1960)

BONUS WILDCARD WEEK (September 22 – 28) Go order something from the SWV website and watch it!

Count Gabor Kernassy (Walter Brandi) lives in a castle surrounded by darkness and a forest, so when an entire group of exotic dancers, their piano player and their manager ends up on his doorstep, it all seems like a buffet. Yet one of those dancers, Vera (Lyla Rocco), is the reincarnation of his long lost wife Margherita Kernassy. How does this keep happening to these vampires? Well, maybe he isn’t the undead one. Ever think of that?

Directed by Piero Regnoli, who was one of the writers of I Vampiri as well as Patrick Still LivesBurial GroundDemoniaNightmare City and so many great films, has made a movie that seemingly shares so much with The Vampire and the Ballerina. This film, however, has more of a lost romanticism and had the original title L’ultima preda del vampiro (The Vampire’s Last Prey). It was released in the U.S. as an adult movie and then edited for TV as Curse of the Vampire.

Regnoli co-wrote this with cinematographer Aldo Greci, who shot this and so many other movies including Play Motel.

This has a good vampire and a bad one, so to speak, as well as a housekeeper Miss Balasz (Tilde Damiani) and groundsman Zoltan (Antonio Nicos) who are on the side of good. But still, this is a movie where Katia (Maria Giovannini) can die and get buried and everyone keeps on dancing because, I mean, why stop dancing? It’s also the kind of early exploitation that has her get a stake to the heart and blood pours all over her shapely legs. Didn’t Russ Meyer say it best? “While violence cloaks itself in a plethora of disguises, its favorite mantle still remains… sex.”

The Sizzlin’ Something Weird Summer Challenge 2024: Behind Locked Doors (1968)

BONUS WILDCARD WEEK (September 22 – 28) Go order something from the SWV website and watch it!

Also known as Any Body…Any Way, this movie was exactly what I wanted it to be: fucking weird.

When Terry Wilson (Joyce Danner) and Ann Henderson (Eve Reeves) go to the middle of nowhere for a barn party, Ann is nearly raped but saved by the middle-aged, British and oh-so-strange Mr. Bradley (Daniel Garth). They ditch the party and Ann’s man, but then run out of gas because otherwise we wouldn’t have a movie.

In the middle of nowhere, they walk up to a house — on the suggestion of a drifter (Ivan Agar, Laughing Crow from Shriek of the Mutilated) who is more than he seems — that just so happens to belong to Mr. Bradley and his sister Ida (Irene Lawrence). They have no phone and their car isn’t working either, so they stay for dinner and a bed for the evening. Ida needs the company. She’s been there for two years, ever since her mortician brother retired.

So why are there bars on the windows? Why did their door lock behind them? Why are the closest filled with women’s clothing of all sizes? Why would Terry pick this exact and terrifying time to finally get sapphic with her office buddy?

The Bradleys wake them up and let them know that they’re in control and must play their demented games with them or end up like all the embalmed bodies in the basement. Mr. Bradley just wants to discover the perfect way to make love, so if he has to tie up women and then kill them, that’s how his laboratory of libido operates.

I mean, this is a movie that starts with fifteen minutes of go go dancing in a barn — I played in a band that practiced in a barn and it’s hard to sing when all you can smell is shit, so I can’t even imagine go go dancing while smelling cow feces — and ends with that same barn and Ann going off with the guy who tried to rape her and Terry finding another young lady to enjoy a game of flats with. Yes, I used a 17th century term — lesbian sex was thought to look like two playing cards rubbing together — in this article. I bring you quality euphemisms, my friend.

Did you not see the signature of Harry Novak hanging above this? Behind Locked Doors came from director and co-writer Charles Romine, who would go on to make Mysteries of the Gods, while producer and uncredited co-writer Stanley H. Brassloff made one of the most upsetting of all softcore movies, Toys Are Not for Children.

This movie looks way better than it should with great lighting and bright colors and a room full of gorgeous and very dead women — or are they? — posed seductively, along with an off the rails room destroying catfight and an ending that blew my mind, as deceased denizens of the strange mansion come back for one last dance with brother and sister into the inferno. This is the kind of movie that makes you stay for all that barn dancing and you wonder, “When does it get weird, Sam promised me it would get there” and when it does, you’ll text me and say, “I can’t believe that this is a real movie.” Well, it is, pal. It sure is.

September Drive-In Super Monster-Rama 2024 Primer: The Terror (1963)

September Drive-In Super Monster-Rama is back at The Riverside Drive-In Theatre in Vandergrift, PA on September 27 and 28, 2024. Admission is still only $15 per person each night (children 12 and under free with adult) and overnight camping is available (breakfast included) for an additional $15 per person. You can buy tickets at the show but get there early and learn more here.

The features for Friday, September 27 are The RavenThe TerrorThe Little Shop of Horrors and Attack of the Crab Monsters. Saturday, September 28 has The BeyondOperaCemetery Man and A Blade In the Dark.

In his book How I Made a Hundred Movies in Hollywood and Never Lost a Dime, Roger Corman went into detail on this film, an infamous one in his career: “It began as a challenge: to shoot most of a gothic film in two days using leftover sets from The Raven. It turned into the longest production of my career — an ordeal that required five directors and nine months to complete.”

While Corman is listed as the director, it was also worked on by Francis Ford Coppola, Dennis Jakob, Monte Hellman, Jack Hill and even Jack Nicholson. It all started with a rained out tennis game, as Corman decided that since the sets were still there for two days and he had access to Boris Karloff. Nobody really knew what the movie would be about, other than to be in a castle, and that Karloff had two days to do his part. The icon of horror had no clue that some of that would be spent in a tank of cold water.

The funny thing is that American-International Pictures paid for the sets for The Raven, but Corman was making this film by himself. He never asked if he could do it. He just started shooting. Samuel Z. Arkoff knew something was happening when at the wrap party, all of the sets were still standing. Then again, he knew that Corman would be coming to him to distribute the movie.

Other directors came in instead of Corman, as this was a non-union job and he was a union director. The beach scenes were shot by Coppola, along with Hill and Gary Kurtz, much of which was unusable as Coppola didn’t tell the cameraman that he was shooting night shots and then he went way over. Eleven days of shooting, which was like two Corman films worth of shooting.

Dennis Jakob shot Hoover Dam for the water scenes — while also working on his thesis film, something Corman couldn’t get angry about, because he was doing the same thing so often — and Monte Hellman and Jack Hill finished the film. Well, then Corman thought nothing worked together and it was boring, so he went back and shot a bunch of new scenes to make the movie work together. In a lot of those reshoots, Jack Nicholson’s wife Sandra Knight is noticeably pregnant when she wasn’t in the early shoots.

Meanwhile, Corman had promised Karloff $15,000 if this movie made $150,000. It didn’t,. but he had another idea. If Karloff would appear in Targets, he would get the cash. Corman told Peter Bogdanovich that he would finance his film if he shot twenty minutes of new Karloff footage, added in twenty minutes of this movie and then shot forty minutes with a new cast. Bogdanovich used footage from this movie at the beginning of his film, as Karloff watches himself and proclaims the movie as terrible.

French soldier André Duvalier (Nicholson) has left his men after a battle gone wrong and is rescued by Helene (Knight), a woman who looks just like the dead wife of a Baron. Twenty years before, after finding his wife with another man, the Baron (Karloff) killed her and had his servant Stefan (Dick Miller) kill the man he found her with.

A witch named Katrina (Dorothy Neumann) has been sending the ghost of the Baron’s wife to torment him, asking him to kill himself and join her. That’s because she thinks that the Baron killed her son Eric when the truth — ready for the spoiler — is that Eric killed the Baron and has gone so insane that he thinks that he is the Baron and killed Eric. By the time she learns this, it’s too late to enter the castle and as she runs to save her son, she walks across consecrated ground and burns. Just like Shakespeare, everyone dies except our young lovers, except that Helene is a ghost as well and she turns into a corpse after kissing André.

Speaking of saving money, AIP used to send its composers to more inexpensive European studios. In spite of this movies small budget, Ronald Stein was able to record both this movie’s soundtrack and the score for Dementia 13 all in one session while using the 90-piece Munich Symphony Orchestra. Speaking of that movie, The Terror played double features with it.

So yes, this isn’t a perfect movie, but at least Nicholson has good memories of it, saying “I had a great time. Paid the rent. They don’t make movies like The Terror anymore.”

CANNON MONTH 3: Return of Bruce (1977)

EDITOR’S NOTE: As the journey through Cannon continues, this week we’re exploring the films of 21st Century Film Corporation, which would be the company that Menahem Golan would take over after Cannon. Formed by Tom Ward and Art Schweitzer in 1971 (or 1976, there are some disputed expert opinions), 21st Century had a great logo and released some wild stuff.

Also known as Bruce’s Revenge, Return of Fists of Fury and Ninja vs. Bruce Lee, this was made as Zhong lie Jing wu men. It super stars — that’s what they said — Bruce Le as Bruce Wong, who comes to Manila to visit his uncle who has apparently forgotten and just left home. So he wanders the streets and meets a young thief named Piggy and save a girl from the deadliest pimp in the Philippines, Mr. Cross.

One of the women Bruce saves is his cousin, who runs a martial arts school with his other cousin. He helps them fight Mr. Cross, who has one henchman who is such a gay stereotype that even far right people will be offended by this movie’s homophobia. Anyways, Bruce shuts almost everything down, so the bad guys hire a killer named Sakata to kill everyone, starting with his male cousin,.

This movie has an instrumental version of Barry Manilow’s “Mandy” that completely made me insane, screaming out the lyrics. “I’m standing on the edge of time, I’ve walked away when love was mine, Caught up in a world of uphill climbing, the tears are in my mind and nothing is rhyming.”

Also: This ends with the police all coming to bust up the final fight between Mr. Cross, Sakta, Sakata’s brother, a hundred goons and Bruce. Piggy watches, all alone on the beach, crying, realizing that he will forever be alone. So…an unhappy ending?

If you were Asian, did martial arts and looked like Bruce Lee with aviator sunglasses on, you always had a job in 1977.

Director Joseph Velasco also went by Joseph Kong and made Bruce’s Secret Kung Fu,. Thundering NinjaThe Clones of Bruce LeeTreasure of Bruce LeeThe Young DragonEnter the Game of DeathBruce’s Deadly FingersBruce and the Shaolin Bronzemen and Kung Fu Master: Bruce Lee Style. He made more off Bruce Lee than Bruce Lee made off of Bruce Lee.

You can watch this on Daily Motion.

September Drive-In Super Monster-Rama 2024 Primer: The Raven (1963)

September Drive-In Super Monster-Rama is back at The Riverside Drive-In Theatre in Vandergrift, PA on September 27 and 28, 2024. Admission is still only $15 per person each night (children 12 and under free with adult) and overnight camping is available (breakfast included) for an additional $15 per person. You can buy tickets at the show but get there early and learn more here.

The features for Friday, September 27 are The RavenThe Terror, The Little Shop of Horrors and Attack of the Crab Monsters. Saturday, September 28 has The BeyondOperaCemetery Man and A Blade In the Dark.

The fifth of Roger Corman’s Poe movies, this was written by Richard Matheson and based on the poem “The Raven.” It has an astounding cast with Vincent Price, Peter Lorre and Boris Karloff — who was also in the 1935 adaption — as sorcerers locked in magical combat with one another.

In the book The Raven, Matheson said, “After I heard they wanted to make a movie out of a poem, I felt that was an utter joke, so comedy was really the only way to go with it.”

As Dr. Erasmus Craven (Price) pines for his lost wife Lenore (Hazel Court, The Man Who Could Cheat Death), he is visited by a raven that he helped to transform back into the human form of Dr. Bedlo (Lorre). Now, Bedlo wants revenge on the man who turned him into a beast — Dr. Scarabus (Karloff) — and gets Craven to come with him, claiming that he’s seen Lenore’s ghost in his enemy’s castle. Along for the ride are Craven’s daughter Estelle and Bedlo’s son Rexford, who is a very young Jack Nicholson.

It all turns out that Lenore is alive and faked her death to become Scarabus’ mistress and doesn’t even bat an eye when the evil wizard tortures her daughter. Of course, a duel between magicians is the only way this can all end.

Lorre was given to improv, which Price grew to enjoy, Nicholson loved and Karloff hated. Between that and the goofy Latin phrases the magicians say when they cast spells, this movie always makes me laugh.

CANNON MONTH 3: Bruce’s Fists of Vengeance (1980)

EDITOR’S NOTE: As the journey through Cannon continues, this week we’re exploring the films of 21st Century Film Corporation, which would be the company that Menahem Golan would take over after Cannon. Formed by Tom Ward and Art Schweitzer in 1971 (or 1976, there are some disputed expert opinions), 21st Century had a great logo and released some wild stuff.

Jack (Jack Lee) has come to fight in a martial arts tournament run by his friend Peter (Bruce Le). He’s brought a book of JKD secrets that was written by and given to him by Bruce Lee himself. After a rival fighter, Miguel (Romano Kristoff) defeats Peter, Jack gives him the book to learn from. However, Miguel kidnaps Peter’s girl Miriam (Carla Reynolds) and demands the book.

The best thing I can say about this movie is that it has the song “Shanti Dance” by Droids in it. A band that was the invention of Fabrice Cuitad, they had one album, Star Peace and a single, “(Do You Have) The Force.” Cuitad was a label manager at Barclay and founded the label Egg. Musicians Yves Hayat, Richard Lornac and Jean-Paul Batailley play on the album and in most live appearances, Hayat and Lornac performed.

Director and writer Bill James mainly worked as an actor. This also has Bruce Le take a girl on a date to a cock fight, which in no way feels like romance. And if I get confused by this, it’s also because it’s almost the same movie as They Call Him Bruce Lee.

How many books did Bruce leave to people after he died, anyway?

I’ve seen this listed as a 21st Century release but can’t find any proof. Anyone know if they had it at some time?

You can watch this on Tubi.