CANNON MOVIE 3: Eagles Attack at Dawn (1980)

EDITOR’S NOTE: Over the next several days, I’ll be covering movies either directed by Menahem Golan or produced by Golan and Globus before they bought Cannon.

Directed by Menahem Golan, who wrote the script with Joseph and Yosef Gross (The Magician) with Yorum Globus producing, Ha-Pritza Hagdola is the story of Israel at war with Egypt — although never said — and the POWs of the El Muzzir prison, which is lorded over by the brutal Major Heikal (Joseph Shiloach).

Five Israeli commandos are being kept there and despite the UN attempting to see if they are being treated in accordance to the Geneva Convention, After trying to break the men with firing squad fakeouts where he ties them up, blindfolds them and repeatedly plays gun noises over a loudspeaker, one of them, Eli (Yehoram Gaon) gets away and back to Israel. He’s angry that no one is doing anything to save his fellow men. He steals an ambulance and goes to speak with his former leader Beno (Rick Jason). He agrees to get together some of his other retired commandos and rescue the men.

While all this is going on, Life Magazine reporter Abe Koleman (Peter Brown) is buttering up to Heikal and planning an article that will show the improve side of Egypt and how they treat prisoners. It turns out that some of the guards are on the side of Israel and have given Koleman photos of abuses which he uses to get the interview and into the prison itself. Of course, he’s on the side of the commandos and before you can say The Delta Force, grenades and bullets and bodies are flying all over the place.

Also known as Hostages in the Gulf, The Big Escape and From Hell to Victory, this is an intriguing early Menahem film that predates his later Cannon action mastery.

You can watch this on YouTube.

The Sizzlin’ Something Weird Summer Challenge 2024: Bunny Yeager’s Las Vegas (1964)

BONUS WILDCARD WEEK (September 22 – 28) Go order something from the SWV website and watch it!

You know, this movie isn’t very good, but I just want to talk about Bunny Yeager, so indulge me.

Linnea Eleanor “Bunny” Yeager was born in Wilkinsburg, one of the suburbs of Pittsburgh, and moved to Florida when she was 17. There, she got the nickname she’d use for the rest of her life. It either came from Lana Turner’s character Bunny Smith in Week-End at the Waldorf or because Yeager played the Easter Bunny in a school play.

Just a few years out of school, Bunny won plenty of beauty pageants, including Miss Army & Air Force, Miss Personality of Miami Beach, Queen of Miami, Florida Orchid Queen, Miss Trailercoach of Dade County, Queen of the Sports Carnival and Cheesecake Queen of 1951.

She never wore the same outfit twice and made plenty of the clothes that other girls wore for their shoots. She’s even been credited with being one of the influencers that made the bikini a hot number in the mid 50’s.

Originally, Bunny went to school to be a photographer so she could save money and make her own prints. However, one of her class projects ended up being the March 1954 cover of Eye magazine and she went pro. Bunny was one of the first photographers to shoot girls in natural light.

She’s probably best known for popularizing Bettie Page (she shot her January 1955 Playboy centerfold) and her work in Playboy, including discovering the very first centerfold, Lisa Winters. She also appeared in the magazine herself five times and was photographed by Hugh Hefner in a pictorial named “Queen of the Playboy Centerfolds.”

Once sexy movies got more gynecological, Yeager moved into mainstream magazines and even took the famous photo of Ursula Andress in her white bikini from the set of Dr. No.

Before the sexual revolution, Bunny Yeager was working within the male gaze to be a trailblazer. She’s one of my heroines and deserves so much more credit and interest than now. Check out her photos today and you’ll see imagery that remains incredibly alive.

As for the movie, there’s no story, it’s just Bunny taking photos of girls and it will make you sad, because it’s shot in the wonderful old Las Vegas, filled with neon and tiki bars and everything magical that the world threw away.

The Sizzlin’ Something Weird Summer Challenge 2024: Atomic Rulers (1957)

BONUS WILDCARD WEEK (September 22 – 28) Go order something from the SWV website and watch it!

There are nine Sūpā Jaiantsu (Super Giant) movies that were first shown in Japan. Takeo Nagamatsu’s 1930 kamishibai The Golden Bat (Ōgon Batto) may have been Japan’s first modern superhero and Gekkō Kamen (Moonlight Mask) the first hero to be on TV, but the first actual super hero movie in Japan was this one.

It was bought for distribution to U.S. television and edited into four films by Walter Manley Enterprises and Medallion Films. The first two original Japanese films, Super Giant and Super Giant Continues, have been cut, edited and have library music instead of the original soundtrack. Also, Super Giant became Starman.

The Mysterious Spacemen’s Demonic Castle and Earth on the Verge of Destruction were turned into Invaders from Space, while The Artificial Satellite and the Destruction of Humanity and The Spaceship and the Clash of the Artificial Satellite was released in the U.S. as Attack from Space. The last film, Evil Brain from Outer Space, is edited together from three movies, The Space Mutant Appears, The Devil’s Incarnation and Kingdom of the Poison Moth.

The films were also sold to France and Italy, where Super Giant is known as Spaceman.

Ken Utsui plays the hero and he always downplayed this movie when interviewed. Some say he was upset about the costume, which had a stuffed crotch. In the first installment, he fights to save the Earth from the country of Metropol and their nuclear arsenal. You’ll notice the connection to sentai shows like Power Rangers with this, but it’s also very similar to the American TV version of Superman. I loved it when I was a kid and still do.

The Sizzlin’ Something Weird Summer Challenge 2024: Alice In Acidland (1969)

BONUS WILDCARD WEEK (September 22 – 28) Go order something from the SWV website and watch it!

Rescued by Something Weird, Alice In Acidland starts as a nudie cutie before its black and white sequences go full color once that acid gets dropped.

Alice (Sheri Jackson, The BabysitterLove Camp 7) is a good college girl who goes to a party with her not-so-good friend Kathy (Janice Kelly, Run, Swinger, Run!) being thrown by their French teacher Frieda (Julia Blackburn, The Ramrodder). What follows are baths, nudity, sex, more drugs, orgies, more nudity, more sex and more drugs for an hour and a few extra minutes. None of the sex is hardcore, but mainly the titilation that pre-Deep Throat films usually end up having.

Donn Greer, who directed and produced this, also is the narrator, saying things like, “Removing her clothes, Alice changed into a costume more befitting her new personality. She now belonged to another society, another world. A world of Pot, LSD and Free Love. Alice Trenton, as her father knew her, was dead. Long Live Alice. She had now become a wild and provocative twinight hippie. Complete with the Indian beads and moccasins.” and “Here was her chance to prove that she belonged in the sex-for-pleasure inner circle, and prove it she did.”

This was written by Gertrude Steen, which has to be a Greer pen name.

You can download this from the Internet Archive.

The Sizzlin’ Something Weird Summer Challenge 2024: The Witch’s Mirror (1960)

BONUS WILDCARD WEEK (September 22 – 28) Go order something from the SWV website and watch it!

The Witch’s Mirror is why I love 1960’s Mexican horror. Some movies of that era only hint at witchcraft and the occult and this one goes full in, showing rituals and all manner of Satanic mayhem. Ah, Mexico. Long may your movies live on.

It’s directed by Chano Urueta, who also made the confoundingly wonderous El Baron del Terror and the Blue Demon films.

If you’re going to steal, I always say to steal big. Chanto takes from so many sources here — Edgar Allan Poe, Hitchcock’s RebeccaEyes Without a Face — while somehow synthesizing them into his own out there narrative.

Deborah (Rosita Arenas, Xochitl from the Aztec Mummy movies) is the new wife of Dr. Eduardo Ramos (Armando Calvo), but she has no idea that years ago, he poisoned his first wife, Elena (Dina de Marco).

The thing is, Elena may be dead, but her spirit will not rest. She calls out to her aunt, a witch named Sara (Isabela Corona), whose spells and incantations place Deborah directly in the path of revenge, starting with her face being burned in a fire.

Luckily — or maybe not — Dr. Ramos ends up being somewhat of a mad scientist, so he starts stealing dead bodies to take their skin and attempt to give his new bride her beauty back.

Somehow, in all of this, the witch comes off the best of all of them. This movie is nightmarish in ways that movies made outside of Mexico just can’t pull off, because I get the idea that the filmmakers have one foot in believing that everything in this movie is possible.

CANNON MONTH 3: Star Slammer (1986)

EDITOR’S NOTE: As the journey through Cannon continues, this week we’re exploring the films of 21st Century Film Corporation, which would be the company that Menahem Golan would take over after Cannon. Formed by Tom Ward and Art Schweitzer in 1971 (or 1976, there are some disputed expert opinions), 21st Century had a great logo and released some wild stuff.

Also known as Prison Ship, Adventures of Taura, Part 1, Starslammer: The Escape and Prison Ship Star Slammer, this Fred Olen Ray-directed film was shot over a few days in a converted grocery store. Some reports say that this was tacked on to the shooting of Biohazard, which thanks to Matty at The Schlock Pit, I know is untrue. I do now know that uniforms came from Galaxy of Terror and other costumes came from Metalstorm: The Destruction of Jared Syn

Fred Olen Ray has been namking LEED certified green films since 1986.

Don’t believe me? He saved even more money by using scenes from Battle Beyond the Stars and Dark Star, which at least was somewhat authorized as this movie shares a producer, Jack H. Harris, with that John Carpenter early effort.

Captain Bantor (Ross Hagen), the Sovereign (Lindy Sykes) and the Inquisitor (Aldo Ray) have all come to the planet Arous to stop an uprising, which causes them to cross paths with a mine owner named Taura (Sandy Brooke). She’s had a good relationship with the citizens of this planet, unlike Bantor and his people. When he tries to forcibly take her mine, she fights back and soon disintegrates his hand.

This movie isn’t called Space Mine, you know? So she’s soon taken to Warden Exene’s (Marya Gant) Vehemence, where Taura must constantly battle for her life, yet soon wins over most of the other prisoners and makes a friend in Mike (Susan Stokey). Bantor returns, now insane, and tries to make the prison into a zombie army, which means that Taura has to fight him again.

When a catfight breaks out during a meal, the guards call in the monster from The Deadly Spawn, which is a very frugal and well-received choice. This is broken down into chapters — like Jailbreak 3000 — which I really wish were their own movies and that this had a long and storied history of films. A sequel called Chain Gang Planet was planned. I wish it had been made.

It also has an amazing bad girl named Muffy, of all things, played by Dawn Wildsmith, who was in all manner of wonderful films like The Phantom Empire and Evils of the Night. When we first meet her, she’s torturing a prisoner with leeches — “Daddy, not the bore worms!” — and then takes a bite out of the leeches! Plus she has an eyepatch!

I want to live in this future, a place where John Carradine shows up as a hologram judge, Jack H. Harris’ voice comes out of intercoms, Ray plays a small robot, his son shows up in at least three parts, all of the women have thongs on and yes, that is Bobbie Bresee in a brief scene. There are people who have given this poor reviews and they are sad folks, those you should never party with because they’d stare at you while you smoke a joint and shake their heads.

You can watch this on Tubi.

CANNON MONTH 3: Samon’s Hell Revenge: Unauthorised Jutte Records 2 (1983)

EDITOR’S NOTE: As the journey through Cannon continues, this week we’re exploring the films of 21st Century Film Corporation, which would be the company that Menahem Golan would take over after Cannon. Formed by Tom Ward and Art Schweitzer in 1971 (or 1976, there are some disputed expert opinions), 21st Century had a great logo and released some wild stuff.

Samon Kamiyama is a yoriki, one of the helper class samurai, working for the Minami-machi magistrate. He’s been sent to investigate the Denzû-machi prison by chief elder Abe Isenokami and is nearly killed when he’s thought to be Mushuku Sahêji, a jailhouse snitch. He’s saved by another prisoner, Sanji, and gets back to learning about shipping improprieties conducted inside the jail by organized crime.

A series of Japanese TV movies about “Samon from the Hell,” this somehow ended up in the ownership of 21st Century. How and why, I have no idea. It was directed and written by Tokuzô Tanaka, who directed several Zatoichi movies and plenty of TV movies, as well as The Whale God.

Has anyone else seen this?

You can watch this on YouTube.

The Substance (2024)

ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Jennifer Upton is an American (non-werewolf) writer/editor in London. She currently works as a freelance ghostwriter of personal memoirs and writes for several blogs on topics as diverse as film history, punk rock, women’s issues, and international politics. For links to her work, please visit https://www.jennuptonwriter.com or send her a Tweet @Jennxldn

Ahhh, to be young again…when going to see a horror movie that you waited months for meant something.

The Substance is a rare moment in recent years where a movie exceeds expectations. The film’s marketing tricks audiences into thinking they’re seeing an elevated horror film and then punches them in the balls like horror movies did in the old days.

Elisabeth Sparkle, star of a popular morning exercise show, ages out of her job. Out of desperation, she turns to a black-market beauty treatment called “the substance,” which splits Sparkle into herself as she is now, and a younger, more “fantastic” version of herself, named Sue.

Of course, the treatment requires a very specific regiment that must be followed and “the balance must be respected.” Sparkle’s consciousness must hop bodies ever seven days without exception. The husk on the floor is set up with an IV drip to keep them going in the interim. Kind of like a corporeal timeshare. It’s not long before the single consciousness splits into two and form a rivalry that ultimately leads to self- abuse.

Demi Moore shines as brightly as she ever did here, carrying much of the film alone in a room by herself. Kudos to the casting director for casting the three love interests to reflect Moore’s own personal life. The nerdy guy she went to grade-school with named Fred (her first husband was a nerd named Freddie Moore), Sue’s hot hookup (an Ashton Kutcher look alike) and a guy who resembles Bruce Willis circa 1996.

Demi deserves an award just for all the practical makeup effects she endured let alone all the closeups of her body. Let’s talk about the close-ups. This film is filled with them. Right now, some freshman film student is licking their lips while writing about the film’s excessive use of the “male gaze.” But it isn’t. The Substance was directed by a woman. So whose gaze is it that lingers lustfully over Sue’s nubile young body in her pink leotard? Why, it’s everyone’s, of course. Every audience member takes away from film what they bring in with them. Women watching this film could just as easily look at the close-ups of Sue and wish they had those thighs.

Internalized misogyny aside, humans are inevitably a visual species. We automatically like attractive people, regardless of whether they’re good people or not. See Ted Bundy, Mel Gibson and Tom Cruise for reference.

I have vivid memories of the first time I ever envied Demi Moore’s hair. It was 1982 when I was ten years old, and I saw her played Jackie Templeton on General Hospital. I’ve loved her fashion sense and her acting ever since, although I never reached her level of awesome hair. Imitation in adolescent and pre-adolescent girls offers them an outlet to explore their own individuality that breaks off as we grow into young adults. In a sense, the substance allows Elisabeth to re-experience this phenomenon in the form of Sue.

Kids are being kids, Sue eventually decides she doesn’t want to go back every seven days as prescribed, and things go awry quickly. But it’s the older version who suffers. Because everything we do to our bodies in youth, we ultimately pay for later in life. Just ask my shin splints.

Along with penning a very smart screenplay, director Coralie Fargeat, herself 48, has clearly done her horror movie homework and absorbed the lessons of Basket Case, The Fly, The Elephant Man, Frankenhooker, Tetsuo and Carrie well. The film never feels preachy or pretentious. It manages to avoid feeling like a tired rip-off, despite using some sets, camera angles, and editing choices that audiences have seen before.

In fact, the art house crowd might feel like they’ve coaxed into a bait-and-switch during the last act, when the film spews more blood than the end of Peter Jackson’s Dead Alive and features a full-blown Elisabeth/Sue Monstro parading down Hollywood boulevard in a frilly blue ballgown. A wonderfully satirical ending that will leave the old-school horror fans cheering for the “monster.”  The level of the makeup effects The Substance brings to the table is outstanding. If you don’t like needles, it’s probably best to steer clear. For the rest, it’s a cringey, goopy and slimy good time.

FANTASTIC FEST 2024: AJ Goes to the Dog Park (2024)

ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Joseph Perry writes for the film websites Gruesome Magazine, The Scariest Things, Horror FuelThe Good, the Bad and the Verdict and Diabolique Magazine; for the film magazines Phantom of the Movies’ VideoScope and Drive-In Asylum; and for the pop culture websites When It Was Cool and Uphill Both Ways. He is also one of the hosts of When It Was Cool’s exclusive Uphill Both Ways podcast and can occasionally be heard as a cohost on Gruesome Magazine’s Decades of Horror: The Classic Era podcast.

Humor is subjective, naturally, and writer/director Toby Jones’ AJ Goes to the Dog Park is going to hit like mad with some viewers while leaving others scratching their heads. It’s an absurdist romp that at times feels like Jones and company tried every idea they had to see what would stick, and at other times treads in well-considered philosophical musings.

AJ (AJ Thompson) revels in the simple, quiet life he has carved out for himself in Fargo, North Dakota — where the film was shot — including coasting in a lower position at his family business, enjoying meals with family and close friends, and delighting in time at the local dog park with his pets Diddy and Biff. Fargo’s mayor (Crystal Cossette Knight) suddenly turns the dog park into her dream of a blogging park, which begins a spiral of unfortunate events in AJ’s life that have him going through some serious — comically serious, for the most part, with some dramedy also at play — existential reconsideration of his life.

From meta comments about crying CG tears to a wild third act that I won’t spoil here, AJ Goes to the Dog Park never ceases trying to entertain. Behind the film is a huge heart, and while some jokes may land better with viewers boasting a knowledge of Fargo, there’s plenty of shared human whimsy and wonder to give it wider appeal.

To borrow a phrase from Gorilla Monsoon during his days as an announcer for the World Wrestling Federation, AJ Goes to the Dog Park is a comedy “where anything can happen, and probably will.” If this sounds like your kind of humor, AJ’s mild-to-wild odyssey is certainly worth joining him on.

AJ Goes to the Dog Park screens as part of Fantastic Fest, which runs September 19–26, 2024 in Austin, Texas. For more information, visit https://www.fantasticfest.com/.

CANNON MONTH 3: Scorching Sun, Fierce Winds, Wild Fire (1980)

EDITOR’S NOTE: As the journey through Cannon continues, this week we’re exploring the films of 21st Century Film Corporation, which would be the company that Menahem Golan would take over after Cannon. Formed by Tom Ward and Art Schweitzer in 1971 (or 1976, there are some disputed expert opinions), 21st Century had a great logo and released some wild stuff.

Also known as Any Which Way You Punch, Duel Under the Burning Sun and Dragon Connection, this stars Angela Ma as a kind of Zorro character, as she’s the daughter of a Warlord Tung and also the masked vigilante Violet. And like so many Hong Kong movies imported to America, this liberally steals the score of Star Wars.

This is set in the 1920s, as warlords like Ma’s father are trying to take their own pieces of the country and gain power. She keeps taking the firing pins from all of his weapons while he has no idea that his daughter is his enemy.

She soon joins with the mysterious Pai Tien Hsing (Peng Tien) as one of her father’s men (Yi Chang) is trying to go into business for himself. He has some poison knives that really create some disgusting kills.

You also get Lo Lieh and Tan Tao-liang as two escaped criminals who work alongside our heroes, even getting caught inside a room that has moving spikes at one point.

In Germany, this was released as Der Gorilla mit der Stählernen Klaue (The Gorilla With the Steel Claw). This does not happen in the movie I watched but I wish that it had.

When 21st Century released it, they called it The Bruce Lee Connection. They also licensed it to Continental Video as Dragon Lady Ninja.

You can watch this on Tubi.