Week 14 (Sept. 20 – 26) – THE END! Post-Apocalyptic Cinema: Make sure to pull the ladder up on the way out
“London 2008. After forty days and nights of torrential rain, the city is largely submerged, a result of the devastating effects of continued global warming. The warnings ignored for decades have now resulted in undreamed-of levels of pollution where day has become almost endless night…”
2008. Global warming has melted the polar ice caps, flooding London. There, we meet Harley Stone (Rutger Hauer), a cynical cop who lives on chocolate, coffee and anxiety. Oh yeah, there’s also a Giger-esque shadow demon tearing hearts out of chests.
Originally hatched from writer Gary Scott Thompson’s 1988 speculative script Pentagram—which was wisely moved from Los Angeles to a waterlogged London to dodge comparisons to The First Power—this is a movie where we get the answer to a question that we all had in 1991: What if Roy Baty and a xenomorph fought, but also it was Satanic?
Stone is a burnt-out homicide detective haunted by the death of his old partner at the hands of the mysterious beast. Rookie partner Dick Durkin (Neil Duncan) is an Oxford-educated psychologist assigned to keep tabs on Stone’s completely unhinged, cigarette-smoking, psychic-link-having behavior. They also toss in Kim Cattrall as Michelle, the late partner’s wife, to round out a love triangle you totally didn’t ask for.
Behind the camera, this production was a total mess. Tony Maylam (The Burning) started directing, but stress piled up; the creature design got rushed into a three-week window by Stephen Norrington (who worked on Aliens; he directed another Giger-ripoff Death Machine, as well as Blade and the movie that ended his directing career, The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen; he’s also the first person to play Morbius in a movie, but it was deleted in the aforementioned Blade) and Ian Sharp stepped in to direct the flooded underground subway finale. Wendy Carlos even had her original score scrapped in favor of an industrial, heavy-synth backing by Francis Haines and Stephen W. Parsons. But it works. And let’s not forget Hauer wearing a leather trench coat and carrying around a modified Crosman Airguns Model 3357 CO2-powered paintball revolver—firing .50 caliber balls—as a massive futuristic hand cannon.
So I loved it; that’s what I’m saying.
Now, following the genius of Bernard Pivot, I will ask the questions that we always ask to determine if this is an ancient future cyberpunk movie.
Does it have the title of a Philip K. Dick book but not really have much to do with it?
No, but there’s definitely a lot of Dick all over this. Wait, no. There’s definitely a lot of Dick in this.
Is there a lot of rain?
It never stops raining, no matter what Jane Siberry sings.
Does the male hero wear dress clothes and/or a trench coat?
He wears a trench coat in every scene of the movie, no matter how wet it gets.
Do Keanu Reeves, Ben Affleck, Dolph Lundgren or Udo Kier appear in it?
I feel like Rutger Hauer’s name should be added to this list.
Does the internet do something it can’t do yet, yet look dated AF?
I wish we had the internet of this movie.
Are Stabbing Westward, KMFDM, Ministry or God Lives Underwater on the soundtrack?
No, but it does have “Nights In White Satin” by the Moody Blues and it’s not just a few seconds. It’s a plot point. Breathe deep, the gathering gloom.
Is it a crappy version of Blade Runner?
I mean, it has the guy from Blade Runner in it.
Are there numerous Asian-influenced scenes?
You know it.
Do people use future terms that make no sense?
Not enough.
Are there a lot of whirring sound effects?
Not enough.
Do people stare at the camera as it moves through a neon-lit strip club?
Yes.
Are there rock stars in it?
Yes, Ian Dury, who played Jay Jay-Jay in the film, was a legendary English rock-and-roll singer, songwriter, and bandleader. He rose to fame in the late 1970s as the founder and lead singer of Ian Dury and the Blockheads, famous for hits like “Hit Me with Your Rhythm Stick” and “Sex & Drugs & Rock & Roll.”
Michael J. Pollard is a rock star to me.
Sara Stockbridge was in the Duran Duran video for “Electric Barbarella.”
Gordon Winter was in a bunch of bands.
Tina Shaw, a dancer in this movie and on her resume, was in the heavy metal horror movie Blood Tracks and Cinema After Dark all-time best movie, The Secrets of Love: Three Rakish Tales, directed by Daughters of Darkness director Harry Kumel. No, you’re high writing this, not me.
Shend was in several 70s punk bands like The Cravats.
Is there a feral child?
Nope.
So close. No, this is actually post-apocalyptic, not cyberpunk.
Also: The dog in this, Havoc, has this posted on his IMDb: “Havoc was truly one of the best-est boys. In his personal life, he served diligently as a protector and guardian of his loving family. Havoc also appeared in a variety of commercials and light film work, using his high level of police academy training to fulfill his roles. The highlight of his career was working alongside famous actor Rutger Hauer in the film Split Second.”
Sorry, I got some post-apocalyptic dust in my eye.
You can watch this on YouTube.
