Perversions of Science E7: Panic (1997)

In the 1930s, Bob (Jason Lee) and John (Jamie Kennedy) are just two guests of a Halloween party where everyone is losing their minds over the Mercury Theatre production of The War of the Worlds. It gets out of hand as people start turning up dead.

What a cast! Harvey Korman, Larraine Newman, Edie McClurg, Kria Reed, Tracey Middendorf, Steve Monroe, Bryce Ingman and the one person you should never trust: Chris Sarandon. He’s the Orson Welles! Tobe Hooper directs! Andrew Kevin Walker, who also wrote Brainscan, 8mm and Se7en, scripted!

Yes, somehow all of these people joined to make an episode where the alien threat isn’t a hoax and Harvey Korman has flown through the stars to sodomize Jason Lee and Jamie Kennedy.

This is taken from the story “Panic!” in Weird Science #15 — numbered issue four — and it was written and drawn by Al Feldstein. In that story, a radio station replays the show years later and no one panics, but when a real invasion happens, no one pays attention when a Jupiter ship lands.

You can download all of the episodes here or watch this episode on YouTube.

Perversions of Science E6: Planely Possible (1997)

When Walter (George Newbern) can’t handle the grief of losing his wife because of an intruder — despite having Dr. Joyce Brothers as a therapist — an ex-NASA scientist, Dr. Kurt Rotwang (Vincent Schiavelli), sends him to other realities where Ruth (Elizabeth Berkley!) could still be alive with his Probability Engine. None of those are what he wants, and if there’s a lesson in this, it’s that sometimes you have to take the hand that the world has dealt you.

Directed by Russel Mulcahy (HighlanderRazorback) and written by Peter Atkins (Hellraiser IIHellraiser IIIFist of the North StarWishmasterPrisoners of the Sun), this is one of the better episodes of this show. Oddly enough, Meadow Soprano is watching this one in The Sopranos episode “I Dream of Jeannie Cusamano.”

This episode is based on “Planely Possible” from Weird Fantasy #21, written by Al Feldstein and William Gaines and drawn by Jack Kamen. Unlike many episodes of this show, this one is actually close to the original story, including the moment when Walter’s alternate reality self is put into an incinerator and tries to assume his place, which sets off a series of events that only worsen from there. You’ll see where this time loop is going, but that’s part of why this works so well.

You can download all of the episodes here or watch this episode on YouTube.

Perversions of Science E5: Given the Heir (1997)

A woman named Lisa Gerou (Yancy Butler) has shaped her body to perfection. Then, she goes a decade backward by a scientist (Paul Williams) to meet Nick Boyer (William McNamara), who is obsessed with an ideal of perfection. They have the best lovemaking of their lives, but then he’s the one who screws himself, so to speak. David Leisure shows up, too.

Director Ramón Menéndez also made Stand and Deliver, while writer Mark Verheiden wrote the Dark Horse Aliens and Predator comic books, as well as Superman. He also wrote the movies TimecopThe Mask and My Name Is Bruce.

This episode was based on “Given the Heir” from Weird Science #16, which was written by William Gaines and Al Feldstein and drawn by Jack Kamen. It’s the story of a man who meets one of his future descendants who is traveling back in time, ready to murder the first husband of one of their ancestors so she can inherit his wealth. Yeah, it goes bad.

You can download all of the episodes here or watch this episode on YouTube.

Sizzlin’ Summer of Side-Splitters 2025: The Sore Losers (1997)

Aug 18-24 indie comix week: When I was a kid, I used to read Mad Magazine and Cracked, so when I got a little older, it didn’t take much convincing to pick up Eightball and Hate. I’m an OG in the “complaining about superheroes” game and my scars were anointed on the Comics Journal message board!

Shot on 16mm film between Tupelo, Mississippi, and Memphis, Tennessee by John Michael McCarthy (Damselvis, Daughter of Helvis), this combines E.C. horror comics, rockabilly, teens gone wild movies, UFOs, hippie killing death machines, women with big hair and bigger breasts, David F. Friedman as an alien leader, Guitar Wolf and his band as the Men In Black, a Malt Liquor Angel, Blackie — an alien from the Lo-Fi Frequency Dimension played by Jack Olblivian from the band The Oblivians — and Kerine Elkins as a psychotic redhead that I definitely would have married at one point in my life. Or maybe that would be a union with D’Lana Tunnell, who plays Goliatha of the Amazones, a stripper who dances on top of a motorcycle.

Years ago, Johnny only killed nine beatniks and had to go back home. Now, he has to kill a number of hippies to please his alien boss, who also wants him to kill D’Lana.

It makes almost no sense, but who cares? The music is excellent. There are so many curves you’ll wreck yourself, and it seems like you’re in the third movie in a series of films, not a stand-alone. And I love that. I really feel like this has an audience of one, and I am that person, and thank you for making it for me.

You can watch this on YouTube.

Perversions of Science E4: The Exile (1997)

In a future where murders are sporadic, a sadistic serial killer — and scientist — by the name of 50557 (Jeffrey Combs) tests the theory of Dr. Nordhoff (David Warner) that everybody can be rehabilitated. Maybe they can get even worse. Even the advice of 40132 (Ron Perlman), a rehabilitated killer, isn’t enough. So what else can they do but send him to a world that he can do little to damage.

As he’s sent down, a tech asks, “What about the inhabitants of the planet?”

Dr Nordhoff says, “I wouldn’t worry. He’s just one man. How much damage could he possibly do?”

Cue the Hitler speech.

This episode is based on “The Exile” from Weird Fantasy #14, written by William Gaines and Al Feldstein and drawn by Wally Wood, in which it’s revealed that yes, the Führer was a space alien.

This episode was directed by William Malone, who also made Scared to DeathCreatureHouse on Haunted Hill, Feardotcom and the “Only Skin Deep” episode of Tales from the Crypt. It was written by David J. Schow.

Also: Did you know Chrome the robot wants to have sex? She’s to bad sex puns as The Cryptkeeper was to horror ones, except, you know, most people love that guy. No one likes Chrome.

You can download all of the episodes here or watch this episode on YouTube.

Perversions of Science E3: Boxed In (1997)

For years, Kevin Pollak has done a Shatner impersonation. So why not have him in a Shatner-directed and starring episode as the potential son-in-law of the man who is Kirk?

A pilot (Pollak) has been engaged to Adm. Kornfeld’s (Shatner) daughter Dulcine (meta here, it’s Shatner’s real-life daughter Melanie, who was also in SyngenorCthulhu MansionBloodstone: Subspecies II and Bloodlust: Subspecies III). He’s been forced to wait until the wedding night to consummate their union. While waiting for her — and her father to deactivate the chastity device that keeps him away from her lady business — he falls for Emmy (the Swedish Bikini Team’s Heather Elizabeth Parkhurst), a sex bot who he gets stuck inside, just when that device is hacked by his soon-to-be bride.

Not based on an E.C. Comic, this episode was written by National Lampoon alumnus Chris Miller and Kevin Rock.

You can download all of the episodes here or watch this episode on YouTube.

Perversions of Science E2: Anatomy Lesson (1997)

“Anatomy Lesson” is directed by Gilbert Adler and written by Kevin Rock. Billy Rabe (Jeremy London) is the son of a small-town coroner (Jim Metzler) who keeps wanting to kill things. However, he’s stopped over and over again by The Bearded Man (Jeff Fahey). When he turns 18, Billy decides to kill that person so that he can finally be the murderer he’s dreamed of becoming. There’s also Linda (Devon Odessa), a girl who is in love with him, but he just wants to watch her die.

Want to know what happens? The Bearded Man and Billy’s mom (Joanna Gleason) are robots who keep watch over killers on Earth. They’ve already taken out Jack the Ripper and the Zodiac, so now it’s Billy’s turn.

This episode isn’t based on an E.C. Comic story. However, the story “A Lesson in Anatomy!!” was in Weird Fantasy #12. The plot is sort of close. “Chased away from his father’s lab while he dissects a body, Stevey finds a stranger in the forest. Wanting to brag, Stevey tells the man all sorts of falsehoods, which he believes; But Stevey soon learns a secret about the stranger he doesn’t expect to discover.” It was written by William Gaines and Al Feldstein and drawn by Jack Kamen.

You can download all of the episodes here or watch this episode on YouTube.

Perversions of Science E1: Dream of Doom (1997)

From June 7 to July 23, 1997, HBO attempted something similar to Tales from the Crypt, adapting the science fiction books of EC Comics for pay cable. But where the Crypt Keeper had bad puns about horror and death, sexy robot Chrome (Maureen Teefy) seems DTF years before we knew what that meant, constantly hitting us with sexual innuendo.

In “Dream of Doom,” Arthur Bristol (Robert Carradine) is trapped in a dream that turns into another dream, an art film like way of kicking off a dirty science fiction anthology TV show. Lolita Davidovich appears as a doctor, Adam Arkin is a therapist, Lin Shaye is a nurse, and Peter Jason is a priest.

Descartes gets name dropped and this gets weird. It’s a good start, directed by one of the shows producers, Walter Hill, and written by David S. Goyer.

This story is based on “Dream of Doom” from Weird Science #12, which was written by William Gaines and Al Feldstein and drawn by Wally Wood. In that story, just like this one,  Aman experiences a sequence of dreams occurring after dream after dream. He’s also a comic book artist who works for Gill Baines. What’s the company, CE Comics?

You can download all of the episodes here or watch this episode on YouTube.

Sizzlin’ Summer of Side-Splitters 2025: Whiskers (1997)

June 23-29 Cat Week: Cats! They’re earth’s funniest creatures (sorry chimps, you’re psychos).

When Klon put this challenge together, it was to get people to lighten up. I’m in a basement with no windows, working two jobs at home, never leaving, always trying to make people happy, then I cut the grass. No complaints other than I’m past fifty and wondering how I got here and how soon I will be dead. But hey, Whiskers, a movie in which a child, upset that his parents will get rid of his pet, makes a wish on an Egyptian cat goddess and transforms his pet into a 30-year-old man.

There’s war on the horizon, false flags, no one cares about anyone and ICE is brutalizing people and don’t worry, this sadly won’t age and man, how can I be angst ridden when that cat is on a skateboard? Just take a gander. That cat is ready to fucking shred, you sad sack fucks.

So yeah, Jed Martin (Michael Caloz) spends so much time with. his cat Whiskers that his parents decide to get rid of it. 1990s parents. The human Whiskers is Brent Carver, who goes all out in this. There are also bullies who call Jed Cat Boy.

Jim Kaufman’s directing credits are mostly for TV, but he did do Night of the Demons III. This was written by Wendy Biller and Christopher Hawthorne.

Also for parents, of which I am not one: Michael Yarmush, who is Fingers, and Michael Caloz, who plays Jed, were the voices of Arthur and D.W. on the much-despised cartoon Arthur.

This is not religious, it’s Canadian. That can be confusing.

You can watch this on Tubi.

Champions (1997)

I am a very simple man and Champions — AKA Karate Tiger: The Champions* — is the movie I am looking for. Yes, it’s every underground fighting movie ever — but it has Nikos from the My Big Fat Greek Wedding movies (Louis Mandylor) as William Rockman, the one-time Terminal Combat champion of the world, who quit the sport — it’s UFC — when he killed someone in training. Yes, it’s every underground fight movie you’ve ever rented, but somehow dialed up beyond what it should be.

After Terminal Combat has been outlawed, Max Brito (Danny Trejo, having the best time ever) gathers the champions, like The King (Ken Shamrock) and either takes their wives or kills their brothers, like Rockman’s sibling Ray (Jeff Wolfe), which brings everyone into a tournament to the death that has some wild characters in it, like a Japanese master (Rich Rabago) who doesn’t want to fight a female competitor and then kills her to the silence of everyone watching. Awkward.

There’s a microchip in the head of The King, which Max Brito uses to make him kill! A microchip in the World’s Most Dangerous Man’s head! That’s the only way I can believe that anyone in this can beat him.

Then, this movie doubles down with roles for George “Buck” Flower, Lee Reherman (Hawk from American Gladiators who plays the Jesus-living fighter Steele Manheim), Bobbie Blackford (Sgt. Kimberly Pepatone, who is here to bust the fight ring like Stryker from the Mortal Kombat games), Larry B. Scott (from Revenge of the Nerds), Harrison Young (Senator Able, who has his own prison fighter, Vedder, who is played Cristos, who was in Desperado), Lelagi Togisala (who is Jackal, a trickster who –s poiler — gets stabbed by Vedder), Fabian Carrillo (the Latin Dragon), David Rowe (Mage) and HOLY SHIT Kool Keith playing himself? Dr. Octagon, Dr. Dooom, Black Elvis, Reverand Tom, Mr. Nogatco, Poppa Large, Keith Korg, Rhythm X, Mr. Gerbik, Big Willie Smith, Tashan Dorrsett, Dr. Ultra Crazy…Kool Keith is in this underground MMA movie!?!

Directed by Peter Gathings Bunche and written by George Francisco, Peter McAlevey and Thomas S. McNamara, this is the kind of movie that gives Ken Shamrock a bazooka and has him blow people up real good. If that doesn’t make you feel something good, you’re lost.

You can watch this on Tubi.

* I have to straight up quote Matty from The Schlock Pit — and bow before his knoweldge — who has blown my mind with this: “Champions was released in Germany as the penultimate film in the Karate Tiger franchise: an eleven-strong series of generally unrelated biff-‘em-ups that, a la Italy’s sprawling La Casa horror saga, were retitled and slapped together for marketing purposes. To wit: Karate Tiger = No Retreat, No Surrender (1985); Karate Tiger II = No Retreat, No Surrender II (1987); Der Kickboxer: Karate Tiger 3 = Kickboxer; Karate Tiger IV = Best of the Best (1989); Karate Tiger 5 = The King of the Kickboxers (1990); Karate Tiger 6 = Kickboxer 3: The Art of War(1992); Karate Tiger 7 = To Be the Best (1993); Karate Tiger 8 = Fists of Iron (1995); Karate Tiger 9 = Superfights (1997); Karate Tiger: The Champions = Champions; and American Karate Tiger = Showdown (1993). To further confuse matters, The King of the Kickboxers is also known as Karate Tiger 4 in Hungary; Best of the Best II (1993) is known as the ridiculous sounding Karate Tiger 6: Best of the Best 2 in the Czech Republic and, sometimes, Germany; and Fighting Spirit (1992) is known as Karate Tiger 6 in several European countries.”