Tag Archives: 1993

UNSUNG HORRORS HORROR GIVES BACK 2024: The Mummy’s Dungeon (1993)

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Each October, the Unsung Horrors podcast does a month of themed movies. This year they will once again be setting up a fundraiser to benefit Best Friends, which is working to save the lives of cats and dogs all across America, giving pets second chances and happy homes.

Today’s theme: Viewers Choice

Has my love for bootleg mummy movies gone too far?

Rameses Karis (Sal Longo) is definitely one of those guys who would be in a camera club in the 1950s, paying gorgeous women to take photos while he’s surrounded by other socially awkward men. Yet it’s 1993, so he is able to invite all manner of models to his house where he takes perverted snaps of them and then uses their bodies and blood to fuel the mummy (Dave Castiglione) that is sleeping the sleep of death in his basement. Or, in his words, “I need virgin’s blood to revive the ancient warriors and put Egypt back on the map.” That’s why he’s paying girls of loose morals to come over and strip down for him and his camera.

There’s no nudity, which makes this feel even pervier — the True Detective magazine effect that I have mentioned before — and it’s the same thing over and over (and over), as the cameraman takes photos, spies on the women undressed, sends in the mummy, they faint and then they kill the woman and drain her blood. Repetition is a major part of comedy but it is even more a major element of a fetish, even one where someone wants to see women faint and get their blood drank by a bandage-wrapped undead Egyptian.

This was released by I.D.S. Productions/WAVE Productions, and yes that last company should let you know that this is totally non-porn porn. I both want to meet and don’t wish to ever know the person who jerks off to this and there’s no way I’m shaking their hand or even fist bumping them to say hello.

The women include Marlene (Michelle Caporaletti, Hung Jury), Marilyn (Cristie Clark, Curse of the Swamp Creature 2), Susan (Terri Lewandowski, Wayne’s mother in Santa Claws) and Dawn (Dawn Lewis).

Rameses made the mistake of killing Kris (Amanda Madison, Red Lips), so her twin sister Jean (also played by Amanda Madison) hunts him down. She’s nearly killed by a mummy before a policewoman (Clancy McCauley, The Kind of Meat That You Can’t Buy at the Store) and Jay (Aven Warren, who did makeup for many movies like this) shoot the shutterbug sadist and pours Egyptian water on the mummy. Roll the rasterized credits.

I’m not going to say that this was good but it’s definitely a movie that I can watch and get a vibe out of. It’s just drone, the same thing over and over, a mummy looking like he got all his makeup at Spencer’s at best and lots of bad photo sessions and alright blood drinking. It’s calming, as I’m anxious now trying to get a job and I’m not telling anyone in my interviews that to find my zen I sit and watch films where dime store wrapped cadavers munch down on vacant eyed women and yes, some dudes jerk off to it, but I use it to get high.

I mean, I want a job.

You can watch this on YouTube.

Tales from the Crypt S5 E4: Food for Thought (1993)

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Directed by Rodman Flender (The Unborn, Idle Hands) and written by Larry Wilson, who wrote five episodes of this show, “Food for Thought” has that most basic of all EC Comics sins, jealousy. Zambini (Ernie Hudson), a carnival psychic, thinks that his wife and assistant Connie (Joan Chen) is sleeping with the fire eater, Johnny (John Laughlin).

“Hmm, frankly your hacks-rays look terrible. You’ve got to pay closer attention to your oral die-giene or you’ll end up looking like me. I want you to brush after every meal, floss and gargoyle twice a day. Hmm, yes, looks like I’ll have to drill. This won’t hurt me a bit! In the meantime, to take your mind off the pain, I’ve got a little dose of fright-rous oxide for you. It’s about a sideshow mind-reader who’s lost his head over a pretty girl. I call it “Food for Thought.””

After abusing his wife and keeping her with his mental powers before killing Johnny before he can steal her away. Johnny’s best friend, the ape Nabunga, reaches into the mind of the psychic and makes him think that it’s Connie coming back to him. Oh, how wrong he is.

This episode also has Doug Jones as a contortionist, Debbie Lee Carrington as a circus member, Kathryn and Margaret Howell as twins and Phil Fondacaro as Emmet, the ring master.

There are three “Food for Thought” stories in EC Comics. One is in Incredible Science-Fiction #32, written by Jack Oleck and drawn by Al Williamson. The other is in Crime SuspenStories #24 and is written by Al Feldstein and William Gaines and drawn by Jack Orlando. It’s about a mine robbery and collapse. The story that inspired this one was in Tales from the Crypt #40 and was written by Feldstein and Gaines and also drawn by Davis. The end of this story is even more gruesome, as the wife loses her lion tamer lover and when her psychic husband is paralyzed, she has him buried alive and then he’s consumed by a ghoul who robs his grave!

UNSUNG HORRORS HORROR GIVES BACK 2024: Death Dancers (1993)

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Each October, the Unsung Horrors podcast does a month of themed movies. This year they will once again be setting up a fundraiser to benefit Best Friends, which is working to save the lives of cats and dogs all across America, giving pets second chances and happy homes.

Today’s theme: Bleeding Skull

Director and writer Jason Holt made six movies in four years, appearing in five of them — Desperation Rising, Angel of Passion, The Swindle, Tuesday Never Comes and Wager of Love — before making this, his last film.

Will (Mitchell Scott, who is the drummer of Cut Copy) is an undercover cop who is looking for a serial killer in the bondage underground of Los Angeles. I mean, that’s what they say this is about, but the result is…a journey to say the least.

Will keeps calling Shannon (Deborah Dutch, who was once Deborah Chaplin and starred in Bruce Lee Fights Back from the Grave and is the Debra Dare who shows up in Vice Academy 4 and 6), who runs a call girl service and keeps sending him new women to check out.

Somewhere in this, there’s a moment when adult star Sunset Thomas is tied to a bed and whipped by a really unattractive man. She’s not the only adult star on hand, as Trinity Loren, Julian St. Jox, Alana and Rebecca Bardoux are in this.

There’s also a role for Anne Gaybis, who is in all kinds of movies you’ve seen, like Massage Parlor Murders!, The Lost Empire, Fairy Tales, Necromancy, Wam Bam Thank You Spaceman, Showgirls, Bachelor Party, Black Shampoo and even the cashier in Friday the 13th Part III.

There’s so much in this that made me go into a druggy state of joy, like one of the girls who keeps dressing like a man, another character who cosplays Charlie Chaplin, so much fog, even more sax and someone who watched some David Lynch and said, “I can do that” but he couldn’t and we’re all the better for it. It also has dialogue like, “Come death dance with me: multiple times over and over and over, breathlessly delivered.

Who runs a prostitution business that kills men because of some past trauma? This movie’s protagonist or antagonist who is the same person. Does that make sense? No, neither does this movie. And also, it has Troma’s intro but I think this was done far from their fecund grip because even as weird and at times horrible as it is, it’s in another universe from their ham fisted catalog.

I wish they made four of these.

You can watch this on YouTube.

Tales from the Crypt S5 E3: Forever Ambergris (1993)

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Dalton Scott (Roger Daltrey) has been shooting photos for decades. Now, he’s working with Isaac Forte (Steve Buscemi), a young shutterbug who says that he was inspired by Scott’s wartime photos. The editor of the paper, Forte’s uncle, claims that he’s more talented that Scott, which causes jealousy, which only increases when Scott meets his rival’s wife, Bobbi (Lysette Anthony).

“Yes, I think the fisheye lens will do fine. Greetings, fashion fiends. So glad you could join me. Bet you didn’t know your pal the Crypt Keeper dabbled in photography. I just love winding a few rolls of Kodagroan into my camera, turning on the old fright meter, and snapping off a few head…shots. Tonight’s putrid picture is sure to increase your shudder speed. It’s about a photographer who’s losing his touch and would do almost anything to get it back. Did I say almost? I call this sickening snapshot “Forever Ambergris.””

Dalton sets up Isaac with a contaminated war zone in Valmalera, which causes him to start to rot and his eyes to even come out of his head. He rises like a zombie and has to be shot. He takes Isaac’s photos and uses them for his own and then pays respects to his wife, which means they end up having sex. While they smoke, she reveals that she knew that he killed her husband and that they are smoking balsam from the same area where her husband died. As she rots away, he runs to the bathroom to watch his face fall off.

This episode was directed by Gary Fleder (Kiss the Girls) and written by Scott Rosenberg (Con Air).

It’s based on “Forever Ambergris” from Tales from the Crypt #44. It was written by Carl Wessler and drawn by Jack Davis. If the title doesn’t make any sense, that’s because it was based on the movie Forever Amber and in the original comic book, a sea captain sends a rival to a plague island where he dies and then is consumed and thrown up by a whale. This creates ambergris, a waxy substance that originates as a secretion from the intestines of whales that is used in perfumes. The captain takes that vomit and makes perfume for the man’s wife, who uses it and loses all of her skin.

Tales from the Crypt S5 E2: As Ye Sow (1993)

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Leo Burns (Hector Elizondo) thinks that his wife Bridget (Patsy Kensit) is having an affair. So he hires G. G. Devoe (Sam Waterston) to learn the truth.

“No need to worry. For one thing, vegetarians are probably much better for him. I like to stalk one myself from time to time. My advice is to let him fiend himself. The little nipper will never learn to maggot on his own if you’re too busy protecting him. Our next caller Leo thinks his wife is cheating on him. Let‘s hope for her sake he doesn’t catch her in the hacked. I call this sickening psycho drama “As Ye Sow.””

Devoe believes that Bridget is having an affair with Father John Sejac (John Shea). Plus, you get Miguel Ferrer as a hitman and Adam West as another private dick. As you can figure, this being an episode of Tales from the Crypt, there’s a big twist that ends up costing the protagonist everything.

This episode was directed by Kyle MacLachlan — yes, Agent Cooper — and written by Ron Finley, who wrote five episodes of this series.

This story is based on “As Ye Sow” from Shock SuspenStories #14. It was written by Al Feldstein and William Gaines and drawn by George Evans.

UNSUNG HORRORS HORROR GIVES BACK 2024: Darkness (1993)

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Each October, the Unsung Horrors podcast does a month of themed movies. This year they will once again be setting up a fundraiser to benefit Best Friends, which is working to save the lives of cats and dogs all across America, giving pets second chances and happy homes.

Today’s theme: Vampires

There are so many vampire movies that you may almost think that everything has been said about bloodsuckers and you may be right. And then you watch Darkness and realize that no one has even scratched the surface of what can be done with vampires since this was made in 1993.

Made by Leif Jonker for $5,000 or so in Wichita, Kansas, this movie does more with its time and budget than pretty much any 90s horror film did with millions. Working with effects artist Gary Miller, who also plays the vampire hunter Tobe, it’s as if this movie wondered, “Can we blow things up and have so much blood that it feels like your TV screen is leaking?”

From the moment a terrified person runs into a convenience store and tries to explain that everyone is going to die until a conclusion that has numerous bodies festering with blood, pustules and grue before exploding in a plasma soaked storm, this is like when Slayer did Reign In Blood from start to finish live, as it never slows down by battering you with non-stop scenes of carnage. Jonker started this when he was 17 and when he came back to it years later, he had the kind of crew working with him that would sell their blood to make it happen.

Tobe meets up with some teens who use shotguns, chainsaws, Holy Water, drills whatever it takes to destroy Liven (Randall Aviks) and the plague that he has brought to this small town. I’ve read some reviews that say, “This has no story” and you know, what movie did these guys watch? This is lo-fi gloriousness on the grandest of scales, well, as grand as five grand can be.

When I thought about the plague that would end humanity as a teenager, it wasn’t me sitting in my house and people arguing about wearing a mask. It was bloody skeletons screaming in the sun, 7-11s filled with blood and hot metal girls in Iron Maiden shirts trying to kill me. I wanted the end times to feel like a Dio album cover or, well, Darkness.

This is metal as fuck! It made me so happy that I was cheering. I almost cried I loved it so much. Really, why did I take so long to watch this? It’s like a film crawled inside my head, ate most of my brain, used the blood and fluids inside my skull to fill a gravity bong, laced it with PCP and then made something for me to watch while I succumbed to the bloody abyss.

Tales from the Crypt S5 E1: Death of Some Salesman (1993)

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Season 5 is here.

“Death of Some Salesmen” was directed by Gilbert Adler, who co-wrote the story with AL Katz. They’re the team that also made Children of the Corn II: The Final Sacrifice and Bordello of Blood, as well as several episodes of this show.

“Well, kiddies, I’m afraid our designer hanger offer has expired. Would somebody please get Mr. De La Renta out of here? Next up on the home chopping network, it’s time for the Crypt Keeper’s fashion boo-tique. Today, we’re featuring my full line of Apres Vie death care products. We’ve got everything from face scream to mas-scare-a. Try some. It’s the best thing you can do for…dem-ise. Or maybe I could interest you in tonight’s special. It’s a tasteless tidbit about a traveling cemetery plot salesmen who’s about to make a grave mistake. I call it “Death of Some Salesmen.””

Judd Campbell (Ed Begley Jr.) is a con artist selling cemetery plots that end up being scams. He starts with Mrs. Jones (Yvonne De Carlo) before moving on to the Pa Brackett (Tim Curry). Well, the whole Brackett family is played by Tim Curry and Campbell soon learns that they love to kill off traveling salesmen, starting with the head that he finds in the microwave. They want him to marry their daughter, but can Campbell outsell these maniacs?

The main reason to watch this? Tim Curry. He’s great, as always.

This story is based on “Death of Some Salesmen!” from Haunt of Fear #15. It was written by Al Feldstein and William Gaines and drawn by Jack Davis. The daughter is not in this story but instead, it’s about an older couple who test out products on the bodies of the men selling them.

Kreola (1993)

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Kreola (Demetra Hampton, who played comic book character Valentina in the Italian TV series) has come to Santa Domingo to see her photographer husband Andy (Teodosio Losito). He’s already worried about her having eyes for Marco (Marco Carbonaro), but then the real trouble happens. Marco is looking for Iris (Cristina Rinaldi, P.O. Box Tinto Brass), who has fallen under the spell of a craggy old seafarer named Leon (John Armstead, Errore Fatale).

Kreola is supposed to try and lure the old man into her arms so that Andy can take back Iris, but she ends up falling in love with the sea captain too. As Jo Ann (Cinzia Monreale, probably pleased to be in a movie where Lucio Fulci or Joe D’Amato isn’t killing her), a writer, explains, the islands are where foreign women lose all inhibitions and leave their men.

Sadly, after two movies of Antonio Bonifacio that I really liked — Olga O’s Strange Story and Scandal In Black — I was let down by this. It seems to really go nowhere and I was hoping for at least some turn to the giallo after seeing that Daniele Stroppa wrote it. Instead, it’s lifeless.

Private Crimes (1993)

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Businessman Marco Pierboni (Joe Kloenne) is killed in his garden, but his body is found near his factory. Meanwhile, a young woman named Sandra Durani (Vittoria Belvedere) disappears, just as a series of anonymous letters start to hint that there is some kind of a conspiracy. Journalist Nicole Venturi (Edwige Fenech), Sandra’s mother, starts to investigate the case with  Andrea Baresi (Manuel Bandera) and police inspector Stefano Avanza (Ray Lovelock) and soon finds the body of her daughter near the bank of a river and soon finds a third body, Sandra’s friend Paolo Roversi (Lorenzo Flaherty).

Welcome to Private Crimes, a four part/six hour television miniseries co-produced by Fenech, directed by Sergio Martino nearly a quarter decade after they worked together on some of the classics of giallo (The Strange Vice of Mrs. Wardh, Your Vice Is a Locked Room and Only I Have the Key, All the Colors of the Dark) and written by Laura Toscano and Franco Marotta.

I think it’s really interesting that the synth score by Natale Massara sounds so much like Twin Peaks and this all feels like an Italian version of that. I don’t say that as if it’s being ripped off, just that it has the flavor of it.

The main draw for this — being Sergio Martino — is Fenech. Not only does she look as fashionable as you’d hope, she also really gets the chance to show some dramatic acting range, as she’s going through increasingly more threatening letters and trying to solve the case while dealing the loss of her daughter. Because the miniseries has more time than your average movie, it gives her time to explore the character. She also has a fabulous white cat that she seems to take everywhere with her.

I kind of like the idea of Martino watching David Lynch and giggling at how much he’s enjoying it.

You can get this from Severin.

A Flintstone Family Christmas (1993)

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This was produced by Hanna-Barbera and aired on ABC on December 18, 1993. I can’t believe it, but it was nominated for a Primetime Emmy Award in 1994 for Outstanding Animated Program (For Programming Less Than One Hour). This is the weirdest timeline of the series to me as after the events of I Yabba-Dabba Do!, Pebbles — who works for an ad agency — and Bamm-Bamm — who works in a car repair shop — get married and movies to Hollyrock so Bamm-Bamm could be a screenwriter. Two weeks before this movie, Hollyrock-a-Bye Baby aired and introduced the twin children of Pebbles and Bamm-Bamm, daughter Roxy and son Chip. who appear to be Capcom palette swaps with Roxy getting white hair in her mother’s hairstyle and Chip looking like his dad with red hair.

As they go to get a turkeysaurus for dinner, Fred and Barney are mugged. This points to the darkness of this version of The Flintstones. Yes, the show as originally for adults, yet jokes about drive-by stonings and Charlie Mansonrock are insane, to be perfectly open with you. I mean, do you want to think about an animated Manson Family stabbing Sharon Slate — get it, Tate, I could totally write for The Flintstones — with a dinosaur fork and it looks at the camera, covered in gore and says, “It’s a living.”

So yeah. They get mugged by Stoneywho Wilma decides to adopt, which leads to Fred getting brutalized in a street fight and hospitalized, causing him to miss being Santa in the Christmas Parade. Stoney responds by kidnapping Mr. Slate, which gets Fred and Stoney in jail together where they bond.

This was the last The Flintstones special to air on ABC. Its first airing was on December 18, 1993. I’m kind of not into grown-up Bamm-Bamm, but super into grown-up Pebbles. Betty and Wilma have not aged at all, nor has anyone else. Amazingly, Stoney seems to come from a street universe that this show never had before. One assumes he was to be the Stephanie to Fred’s Archie Bunker but as this was the last movie in this timeline we will never know, huh?

You can watch this on Tubi.