Sword and sorcery was a big part of the films that Roger Corman released in the 1980’s. To be fair, different sword and sorcery cycles — peblum to Conan ripoff — have always been part of Corman’s films.
Amazons is from Argentina and is based on the Charles R. Saunders story Agbewe’s Sword. Saunders was born in Elizabeth, PA, about fifteen minutes from where we live. He settled in Nova Scotia where he worked for a local newspaper and wrote several well-received short stories about the African-American community there. He also, in his spare time, created the world of Imaro and became one of the first writers to create African-American centric sword and sorcery stories*.
Based on the real-life female warriors of the West African Kingdom of Dahomey, Amazons tells the story of several female warriors, like Dyala (Mindi Miller, Caged Fury), Tashi (Penelope Reed), Tashinge (Danitza Kingsley, Blackout) and Vishiti (Maria Fournery, Deathstalker).
What is not based on reality is that there’s a woman in this movie who can transform into a lion. So know that going in. Neither is the Sword of Azundati, which the trailer seems to think is Excalibur. But hey, who cares about reality? There are Amazon fights galore, including one battle between one of the women and a giant snake. That’s really why I watch movies.
*He also wrote Stormquest, another movie that was made with Sessa directing. It’s all about a female-dominated society coming to realize that they may be wrong by excluding men. It’s one of the last of ten Argentinan barbarian movies that Corman would produce.
Alain Payet — working under the name James Gartner* — mostly worked in adult films and supposedly directed this, but a few minutes in and you realize that no, you’re watching another Jess Franco movie, which is even more apparent when you realize that even though he didn’t put his name on as a director, he used two aliases for writing (story by Jeff Manner, screenplay by A.L. Mariaux) and Lina Romay shows up as one of the Amazon guards.
Man, this movie is — as is obvious — a mess, but it’s also about Liana Simpson (Analía Ivars, Panther Squad, Franco’s Lust for Frankenstein), whose parents were killed by the Golden Temple Amazons — we get to watch it more than once — and she was raised by the creatures of the jungle before getting her chimp Rocky and a witch doctor named Koukou (Stanley Kapoul, who is also in The Perils of Gwendoline in the Land of the Yik-Yak, which is a much better movie of the same genre).
There’s also Antonio Mayans (who was in Revenge of the Alligator Girls and directed its sequel), William Berger in a loincloth, Emilio Linder from Christina and Monster Dog, Alicia Príncipe (The Erotic Story of O) and Eva León (Blue Eyes of the Broken Doll, Bahía Blanca) as Rena, the leader of the Amazons, who has an all gold everything matchy matchy fashion ensemble.
There’s also the same deathtrap from Erotic Rites of Frankenstein, so this has that going for it.
Look — you’re gonna like Jess Franco or you’re going to be bored into insanity or if you’re me, you’re going to zone out and use his movies to improve your positive mental attitude and use his tics — long pauses, plenty of scenery, a near-total disregard for how to tell a story — to get closer to Nirvana. Join me, I guess.
*On Letterboxd, Kyle Faulkner drops some science on me by stating how Payet came on board when Eurocine bought this movie, took a bunch of Franco footage to reedit and added shots of women on horseback. This actually played theaters, which is destroying my brain.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Herbert P. Caine is the pseudonym of a frustrated academic and genre movie fan in Pennsylvania. You can read his blog at https://imaginaryuniverseshpc.blogspot.com/.
Biotherapy is a Japanese horror short from 1986 that takes full advantage of its short running time. Although it does not have much in the way of plot or characterization, it makes up for it with a fast pace, great special effects, and all the gore you could ask for in thirty-five minutes.
The short traces the horrible fates that befall a group of scientists working on “GT medicine,” a promising but still flawed chemical that induces exponential growth in those that consume it, similar to H. G. Wells’s Food of the Gods. The scientists find themselves being stalked by a mysterious masked man who emits a blue glow and murders them one by one while demanding a sample of the medicine. Does it have anything to do with the recent meteor shower, or is he just an addict ahead of the curve?
The film’s main selling points are its gruesome murders and excellent practical effects. The scientists’ pursuer is disturbingly creative in his means of killing, starting with an opening sequence where he tears out the lead scientist’s eye. Although obviously made on a low budget, the filmmakers squeeze every cent to present convincing effects for the masked killer’s murder spree. Although they are not as high tech as modern CGI, these “cheap” practical effects seem more realistic. The model body parts and fake blood have a sense of weight, having not been drawn on with a computer. Furthermore, even the corniest fake blood looks better than CGI blood, which has yet to capture the flow of an actual liquid splashing or spreading on the ground.
As stated at the beginning, Biochemistry’s script is pretty bare bones. None of the characters are fleshed out, and the villain’s motives and actions are at times confusing. The script also relies on the occasional deus ex machina to help out its characters. However, it makes up for these flaws with a fast pace that keeps the plot moving and prevents you from thinking too much about lapses in logic.
Writer and director W.T Morgan is a name engraved in the history of the Los Angeles punk band X. When Morgan made his debut foray into feature film narrative work with his rock ‘n’ roll love letter to his college radio roots in A Matter of Degrees (1991), he cast X’s bassist John Doe in one of Doe’s best-remembered roles as a burnt-out college rock disc jockey at odds with the commercialization of radio broadcasting. And that theme of the homogenization of music and radio industries carries through in this rock-doc.
As with the four-years-in-production schedule Doe experienced with his first acting gig in Border Radio (started in 1982, released in 1987), W.T Morgan followed the band around Los Angeles and Southern California between 1980 to 1985. In addition to its sixteen-song strong soundtrack of the band in the studio and live on stage, the film also features band interviews, along with footage and insights from local disc jockeys, record store owners, and other local movers and shakers.
Granted with a limited art house release, this is one that punkers were first exposed to as result of its multiple showings on HBO and the resulting VHS tapes that hit the shelves. The DVD and Blu-ray version was issued on December 7, 2011, and includes a special features section with John Doe and Exene Cervenka discussing the film.
X: The Unheard Music is available on a wide variety of VOD streaming platforms, but we found a copy on You Tube. This is X in their prime. If there’s any punk document to watch, it’s this one. Watch it. And they still got “it,” as this 2019 full concert, courtesy of The Current.
About the Author: You can learn more about the writings of R.D Francis on Facebook.He also writes for B&S About Movies.
Editor’s Desk: This is our first review in our week-long tribute to the acting career of John Doe from the Los Angeles punk band, X.
Before receiving wide-spread acclaim for the one-two punch of Platoon (1986) and Wall Street (1987), and after intriguing audience with his feature film debut Seizure (1974) and an adaptation of the novel The Lizard’s Tale, known as The Hand (1981) starring Sir Michael Caine, writer and director Oliver Stone arrived on A-List Hollywood’s doorstep with this, his third feature film. Sadly, while it received Oscar nods in the actor and screenplay categories for James Woods and Stone — and was loved by critics — it cleared less than $2 million in box office against its $5 million budget.
The film tells the story of an American photojournalist (Woods) who becomes involved with the left-wing liberation military during the Salvadorian Civil War that tore apart the Central American country from 1979 to 1992.
Also starring a great cast of Jim Belushi (as Wood’s out-of-work DJ friend), Micheal Murphy (as a U.S Ambassador), and John Savage (as a fellow, murdered photojournalist), John Doe lends his support as an American expatriate who owns a seedy bar.
While Doe made his acting debut in Border Radio, which was shot in 1983, it wasn’t released until 1987. So, outside of his uncredited, under-five bit-parts in Smithereens (1982; as a bouncer) and 3:15, the Moment of Truth (1986; as a club drunk), this Stone award-nominee served as John Doe’s big screen acting debut — a career that has since grown to a resume of 82 credits. We’ll soon see John in the lead of the indie-film noir D.O.A The Movie in 2021.
About the Author: You can learn more about the writings of R.D Francis on Facebook.He also writes for B&S About Movies.
Image courtesy of photographer Allen J. Schaben for the Los Angeles Times, May 2020/font overlay by PicFont.
If there was one movie that was hard to rent at my neighborhood mom and pop video store, this would be it.*
Leonard Maltin gave this movie his dreaded BOMB review, comparing it to 1950’s car race and 1970’s roller disco movie films. Yeah, Leonard. Wondering why everyone liked it so much?
Shot in Alberta, Canada — look for a young Robin Bougie from Cinema Sewer — this movie may have failed in theaters. but like I said above, it was a top rental film for what seems like forever.
Cru Jones has two choices: take the SAT in order to attend college or race Helltrack, which could mean $100,000, a new Chevrolet Corvette and fame. His mom, Talia Shire, whines so much that you wish that Stanley Kubrick would arrive to cause PTSD to take her out of this film, but no, she just cries that he’s throwing away his future. He is, near-fifty-year-old me can tell you, but have you seen Helltrack?
The thing I never understood about this movie was how could Mongoose have allowed themselves to be portrayed in such a negative light? They were such a big BMX company and in nearly every scene, their owner Duke Best is out to get Cru and to push his own rider Bart Taylor.
Before she went to jail for that college scam, Lori Loughlin played the tough tomboy that the hero fell in love with. Here, she’s Christian Hollings and she BMX bike dances with Cru, setting hearst aflutter. For more Laughlin roles like this, see Secret Admirer and Back to the Beach.
The evil Reynolds twins who try and destroy Cru on Helltrack grew up to be Chad and Carey Hayes, the writers of the remake of House of Wax, as well as The Conjuring movies.
Man, this movie still leaves me with so many questions. How could the town raise $50,000 so quick for Cru? How does he have the money to sign up Bart when he gets kicked off the Mongoose team? Why did my grandparents buy me a Schwinn that weighed as much as a Harley when all I wanted was a BMX bike?
This movie wasn’t on DVD or blu ray for years until Vinegar Syndrome did a limited release. It’s streaming now, so you can finally legally watch it.
Also, look for pro wrestler Hard Boiled Haggerty, who yells to our hero, “Go balls out!” before the Helltrack** race. That was the films original title.
*Other movies that fit this bill are Thashin’, The Dirt Bike Kid and The Toxic Avenger.
**None of the stunt racers could complete a lap of Helltrack, with major worries about the giant hill that starts the race. The entire scene took two weeks to film.
Henry Stanton (Robert Conrad, try to knock a battery off his shoulder ) is a retired agent from an intelligence agency not to be named that is brought back in when a top-secret robot named Robert Golem (Richard Young, the man who gave Indiana Jones his fedora) begins killing government officials. He’ll have help from an old flame named Mary (Karen Austin, Case of the Hillside Stranglers, Fantasies) and he’ll need it, because Golem is unstoppable.
With a tagline like “Exterminate with extreme prejudice,” you know that this movie is totally remaking Terminator. It originally aired on CBS on March 19, 1986, two full years after Cameron’s Outer Limits pastiche played theaters*.
It’s a TV version of a blockbuster, so there’s not much here, but there is a moment where the villain uses an iron to close up his bullet holes before making sweet, sweet love to a woman he meets in the hotel. But hey, if you grew up on 70’s TV and thought Robert Conrad was the toughest man alive — he used to get enraged at teammates on Battle of the NetworkStars who didn’t go all out — then you might like this.
*I say this because that movie owes plenty to Harlan Ellison. As the story goes, Harlan saw the movie, called Orion Pictures up about the theft and was dismissed by them. But Ellison knew screenwriter and producer Tracy Torme, who had told Ellison before the movie even came out that he had visited the set of the film and when he asked where he got the idea, Cameron said, “Oh, I ripped off a couple of Harlan Ellison stories.” Cameron also told the same thing to Starlog, but the magazine edited out the comments after a call from producer Gale Anne Hurd. As for Cameron, he’d later say, “Harlan Ellison is a parasite who can kiss my ass.” I’m shocked that he didn’t get sued again by the man who won a lawsuit against Marvel once that gave him one copy of everything they published; he would write them nearly every month asking why he hadn’t received the most minute of products.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Eric Wrazen is a Technical Director and Sound Designer for live theatre, specializing in the genre of horror, and is the Technical Director the Festival de la Bête Noire – a horror theatre festival held every February in Montreal, Canada. You can see Eric as occasional host and performer on Bête Noire’s Screaming Sunday Variety Hour on Facebook live. An avid movie and music fanatic since an early age, this is Eric’s first foray into movie reviewing.
Preamble: Senti-Metal Movie Reviews believes that some things just belong together, like seafood and fine wine, pizza and beer, and of course… questionable B-movies and face-melting heavy metal!
A movie might have zero budget, bad acting, and terrible plotting, but just add a pounding metal soundtrack, and it magically becomes an instant party movie masterpiece!
Exhibit A:
Future Hunters (1986)
Senti-Metal Soundtrack: Manilla Road – “The Deluge” (1986)
From the description: “A man from a post-apocalyptic future travels back in time to prevent the coming nuclear holocaust and enlists the help of a young couple.”
Upon waiting the first few minutes of Future Hunters, I was convinced that I was about to see a post-apocalyptic Terminator knock-off from Italy. About 40 minutes later, I realized that I was, in fact, watching a Raiders of the Lost Ark knock-off from the Philippines. Wait, what?
I guess the title threw me off, and rightfully so, considering the bulk of this movie has nothing to do with the future, let alone any hunters from said future.
OK, well there is one guy who comes from the future, and he’s pretty awesome, too. Our “hero” kicks off this adventure with an epic car chase-shootout-battle with a gang of typical post-nuclear apocalypse thugs.
Note: the soundtrack during all this is bad 80s synth-rock…. Now is a good time to queue up our Heavy Metal pairing of the day…. The Deluge by Manilla Road.
I think Manilla Road is a perfect band for this movie because, they have the Philippine city in their name, and they are from Wichita, Kansas, which is pretty much as close to post-apocalyptic hellscape you can find! Go ahead and drop the needle on of The Deluge, track 1 during the whole opening sequence. Trust me – its an improvement.
Around 10 minutes into the Mad Max-style mayhem of Future Hunters, our hunky hero is suddenly whisked away via mystical means to…. a dumpy stucco building some where outside of LA, in 1986, where he proceeds to save a lady archeologist and her milk-toasty boyfriend from a bunch of asshole bikers…and then (spoiler alert) he drops dead! Are you kidding me? What the hell just happened here?
It’s at this point that you’ll start to realize that this movie is not about Future Hunters at all, and is actually about the archeologist, Michelle (played by Linda Carol) and her boyfriend, none other than Robert Patrick… a few years before his rise to fame as the shape-shifting bad cop in Terminator 2.
Patrick plays “Slade” an Air Force mechanic with a penchant for losing fights with every baddie who graces the screen and frequently insisting to Michelle that he doesn’t want to be involved in any of this crazy adventure. Which is a shame, because as it turns out, our boy Slade is a martial arts expert who can fly planes and helicopters while speaking multiple Asian dialects.
And all of those skills come in handy because the bulk of Future Hunters takes place in Hong Kong and some south pacific island locations where Slade and Michelle encounter, in no particular order: Nazis, Pigmies, Albino body-builders, Kung-fu masters, Amazons and Mongols (none of whom come from the future, by the way).
Without giving you a play-by-paly of the entire movie, I can attest that while some movies do their best to “check all the boxes” for their genre, Future Hunters checks all the action adventure boxes, and then adds some boxes from a few other genres and then checks those too.
Does it make any sense? No.
Does that even matter? No.
Future Hunters is not a great movie, but it absolutely never gets boring, and cranking up the metal gives it the extra juice needed to make it a really fun ride. There are plenty of action scenes that go great with the kind of raucous power metal that Manilla Road dishes out, so any time you here that crappy synth music start in the movie, just kick in the next track on “The Deluge” album and enjoy the insanity.
Note: Both the movie and the Senti-Metal Soundtrack can be found on Youtube:
Three people are credited with the story: Christopher Adcock, Christopher Blue and Marnie Page. None of them ever made another film again, either so happy with this experience that they didn’t wish to sully it or so depressed by it they never came back. Or they were aliens and this is their story, then they went back to their homeworlds many lightyears away to make further movies that some strange life being is writing about as part of a box set of holocrons of movies that failed many life circuits — what you humans call years — ago.
The jury is, as they say, out.
Robyn (Sydney Penny from The Bold and the Beautiful and All My Children), Tavy (who was in the BBC series Holby City) and a furry beast named Kirbi are aliens that have left the planet Taros to visit Earth, where they befriend a boy named Dirt (Ricky Paull Goldin, who had the trunk full of class rings in the remake of The Blob).
Dirt decides to introduce the aliens to his grandfather (Keenan Wynn in his last role), who allows Kirbi to drink gasoline and join him as they shoot Coors cans. Then grandpa brings the alien to meet a Senator, and, well…things don’t go so well.
Talia Shire shows up in this, probably to get another name another than Wynn’s to sell this to foreign audiences.
So yeah. This is the kind of movie parents rented in the 80’s and put their kids in front of it, not knowing that it has an alien that looks like how women’s private parts did before shaving and waxing came into fashion. I mean, it’s supposed to be cute and it’s The Thing-level terrifying.
*The last one was the Bronson movie Assassination.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Sean Mitus grew up watching Chiller Theater from Pittsburgh and has been a drive-in enthusiast for the last six years. Sean enjoys all genres but has become interested in Italian horror, thriller and action movies most recently.
EDITOR’S NOTE: This is one of Sam’s favorite movies to write about. As such, it’s appeared on the site before, first appearing on June 24, 2018, and then again as part of our Mill Creek Pure Terror Month on November 5, 2019.
Hands of Steel (1986) is the tale of two films divided by the sad death of actor Claudio Cassinelli. By 1986, the copycat Italian film industry was in full swing. A major influence was Terminator spawning many sci-fi actioners. Hands of Steel was directed by Sergio Martino and produced by his brother Luciano Martino under Dania Film. To capture American audiences the Martino brothers were credited under pseudonyms – directed by Martin Dolman and produced by Frank Cook. A major sign of the schizophrenic nature of the script is that Hands of Steel had 7 credited screenwriters. The budget was largely spent on location shooting and stuntwork.
So first the story: Hands of Steel begins in a dystopian future New York City, shades of Soylent Green. Daniel Greene in one of his first starring film roles, after many TV appearances, portrays a cyborg assassin sent to kill a leading pollical candidate. Greene begins to feel emotions and flees the city. Big corporate bad John Saxon sics his top agent portrayed by Robert Bisacco after the cyborg. Here the film shifts to location shooting in a sparse Arizona setting.
After failing to capture Greene’s cyborg, John Saxon orders Bisacco’s assassin “fired” (killed) and new corporate hunter played by Claudio Cassinelli is now sent out to kill the cyborg. Along the way Greene becomes entangled with a bar owner played by Janet Agren which further awakens his emotions and memories. In addition to being chased by a corporate assassin, Greene runs afoul of George Eastman’s evil truck driver. After Cassellini fails to kill Greene’s cyborg, John Saxon’s character comes to Arizona to “fire” Cassellini and take care of the cyborg himself. A tense showdown with many chases and explosions eventually leads to the film’s final showdown between Greene’s cyborg and Saxon’s big bad. Admirably, Martino ends with an unresolved situation between Greene’s cyborg and Agren’s bar owner.
So what happened? Due to scheduling and/or budgeting, the outdoor and action set-pieces were shot first on location in Arizona. Tragically, Claudio Castellini and his Helicopter Pilot were killed during filming the stunt of flying their helicopter under a high-span bridge. Their craft hit the steel span of the bridge and plummeted over 500 feet into the Colorado River below. The Pilot was never recovered but prescribed drug (appetite suppressant) was found in his room. Controversial to this day, is why Cassellini was in the aircraft. Director Sergio Martino insists Cassellini wanted to impress his son. Whereas actors George Eastman and Daniel Greene challenged the need for Cassellini to be in the helicopter for such a long shot.
Castellini’s death left all the early New York City scenes unfilmed. It led to Martino and the 7 screenwriters to overhaul the script by creating the Bisacco corporate assassin first, have him replaced by Castellini, and then have John Saxon take over for the conclusion. Sharp observers will note the rapid cutting of the medium shot of Cassellini’s “firing” with an apparent double. Hands of Steel makes the most of its low budget with some decent action set pieces. Sadly, Claudio Castellini didn’t live to finish the film and go on to continued success. Daniel Greene went on to a prosperous career in action films, many more with Director Sergio Martino. In a surprising turnabout, Hands of Steel may have influenced an American film in return. Universal Soldier(1992) anyone?
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