Johnny (Lee Chung-Ling) and Michael (Lin Wen-Wei) are on a holiday, ignoring that Johnny’s dad feels that he doesn’t know what responsibility is. His mother mentions how they all come from good families, so he’s safe to hang out with these friends. Little do they know that the boys are in a motorcycle gang.

Guo Jian-Zhong (Ling Yun) and his wife Chen Mei-Juan (Terry Lau Wai-Yue) have taken her sister Guo Ji-Lia (Kong San) to the beach house of her boyfriend Si Wei (Danny Lee). They’re not well-off and are just scraping by, but young and innocent and happy.

These two groups are going to meet and yes, bad things are going to happen.

Yes, Shaw Brothers made a biker movie and it was directed by Chih-Hung Kuei, the man that brought us so many insane journeys, like Corpse Mania and Curse of Evil.

The island is remote and only can be accessed by boat, so even the police aren’t here. As the gang and the two couples meet, at first it’s simple male catcalls to Guo Ji-Lia and her leather mini skirt. Soon, they are spraying graffiti all over their van, throwing ketchup at them and then tossing gigantic leeches. They lure the men away by attacking the house and when they are gone, assault both of them women, with one of them dying. Now, the film goes into Straw Dogs and beyond that to Last House On the Left, somehow inverting the inspiration with rich antagonists and working class heroes. In fact, it owes Peckinpah’s film so much that there’s even a scene of hot oil being used on the wealthy thugs.

This film proved to me that Argento doesn’t have a trademark on shoving a woman’s head through a glass window, that it can be really satisfying to watch a tractor mow through a rich biker, that setting traps in your house is always the best idea, that ending your movie in caps is the best — THERE IS NO RULE OF LAW THAT A KILLING WHICH RESULTS FROM THE USE OF EXCESSIVE FORCE IN SELF-DEFENCE IS ONLY MANSLAUGHTER; IF SUCH A KILLING IS DELIBERATE IT IS MURDER. — and that more movies should have spearguns being fired at punks.

Also: This movie is total exploitation to the point that somehow, an escort company has placed a review on Letterboxd which is a wild business plan.

Filled with the stars of the second and third generations of director Chang Cheh’s stable of actors such as Alexander Fu Sheng, David Chiang, Ti Lung and Chi Kuan-Chun, as well as several of the actors that would later become collectively known as the Venoms Mob, Shaolin Temple — also known as Death Chambers — is so much more than just the prequel* to Five Shaolin Masters.

The leaders of the Shaolin Monks have started to come to the conclusion that time is running out and they must train more fighters to fight the Qings, yet they’re still forcing fighters to sleep outside the temple for weeks at a time to test their resolve.

Two of those fighters — Fang Shih Yu and Ma Chao-hsing — are accepted and must survive the even harsher world that is inside the temple. Fang Shih Yu struggles to learn tiger boxing and keeps failing until a mysterious person begins teaching him the tiger-crane style, which makes him a much stronger fighter.

Yet will all the training — and new monks — be enough when the Qing army attacks and attempts to burn the temple down?

This movie has an amazing training sequence that lasts ten minutes within the maze inside the temple. You have to respect people that only are concerned with fighting and meditation when they’re not building thrill rides that beat people into submission. And the last half an hour is one gigantic fight as the monks use all the skills that they’ve learned in the film.

*Actually, it’s the fifth part of the Shaolin Cycle, following Heroes Two, Men from the Monastery, Shaolin Martial Arts, Five Shaolin Masters and The Shaolin Avengers.

You may wonder why this movie is also called One-Armed Boxer 2 and The One Armed Boxer vs. the Flying Guillotine. That’s because it’s pretty much a sequel to One-Armed Boxer, but man, the name Master of the Flying Guillotine was just too awesome not to use.

It’s also one of the few martial arts movies that for some reason has a nearly all Krautrock soundtrack, with “Super” and “Super 16” from Neu!’s second studio album, Neu! 2 played as the opening theme and Master Fung’s theme; “Rubycon, Part One” from Tangerine Dream’s sixth studio album Rubycon used as The One-Armed Boxer’s theme; and three songs from Kraftwerk’s fourth album Autobahn — “Mitternacht,” “Morgenspaziergang” and “Kometenmelodie 2” — appearing.

If you can’t guess already, this movie is straight-out incredible.

Yu Tien Lung, the One-Armed Boxer, is stalked by the blind Fung Sheng Wu Chui who was the master of the two Tibetan lama he killed in the first movie. Unlike those men, this villain has the flying guillotine, a bladed hat on a chain that can take its victim’s head completely off their body.

Before the battle you’ve been waiting for, our protagonist must battle a Thai boxer, a yoga master and a kobojutsu — the martial arts of Okinawa — master. And yes, you get a satisfying battle between the enemies by the end.

With a tagline that claimed, “It’s A Mean Machine – Cuts Your Head Off Clean!” this film lives up to everything you dreamed that it would be. Jimmy Wang Wu wrote, directed and stars in this. He made The Chinese Boxer, a movie that moved martial arts away from weapons and into the bare-handed combat that Bruce Lee and so many others would make into a worldwide phenomenon.

Obviously, so much of Kill Bill — and even the video game Street Fighter — owe a debt to this movie. You should check it out.

You can watch this on Tubi.

A gender flipped adaption of The Legend Of The White Snake, this Lo Chen-directed film starts with a village running out of water and praying to various animal deities. Only the snakes answer, in the person of Snake Prince (Ti Lung) and his two snake friends, Yellow and Black Snake (Wong Yu and Ng Hong-Sang). They spy on the villagers as they sing and dance — get ready, this movie is filled with musical numbers — and become enamored of several of the ladies, including Hei Qin (Lin Chen-Chi). They’re run off by the men of the village, but when the people come to Snake Mountain and ask for water, he only wants Hei Qin to join his kingdom. He grants them access to all that water, even after they threatened to burn down the entire hillside, which would end up killing everyone.

Unfortunately, Hei Qin has a jealous sister who wants the riches of the snake kingdom and the humans left behind in the village hate the idea that a snake god is making sweet love to the most beautiful woman they’ve ever seen. So they do what they threatened, which is set the hillside on fire, and then use sulphur to smoke out the snakes, who transform into their true gigantic snake form. A ton of snakes and humans die — the snakes die for real, because this is a Hong Kong movie — and then the snakes are all killed by the humans, who set them on fire and stab them repeated times. To remind you this is a Shaw Brothers movie, Hei Qin takes the sharpened stick that killed Snake Prince and stabs herself with it, which cuts to a statue of the lovers on Snake Mountain and their ghostly giant forms staring toward the afterlife.

I told you the story but in no way will that prepare you for this film. Imagine a rock musical with funked out guitars, dance numbers with cute girls that seem like they’re in a Shaw Brothers cover version of an AIP beach drive-in movie, all with effects from Daiei (the same people who brought you Daimajin and Gamera) starring bad ass Ti Ling, who usually is fighting yet here he’s a singing snake god. Then imagine every color in the Bava rainbow being unleashed. That gives you just part of what this is about to share with you. Yet for as innocent and magical that this movie is, it ends with gore and sadness. Such is the world of Shaw Brothers.

Director Cheng Chang-ho (King Boxer, Temptress of a Thousand Faces) moved from Korea to Hong Kong to spend several years at Shaw Brothers before moving to Golden Harvest, making five movies that were set in modern times.

Detective Lung (Shin Il-ryong) is trying to find out who killed his father when he discovers that his father was a smuggler and that his business partner was the murderer. Now hiding under a new name — Wang (Chao Hsiung) — that man thinks that he is safe from Lung. He’s wrong. Our hero quits the force and heads to Bali, ready to get revenge for his father. He’s joined by his old man’s former partner, Chang (Chan Sing), who has a love for explosives.

Even better, you get the inked up Michael Chan Wai-Man and a John Lennon-glasses wearing Sammo Hung as the henchmen that they battle. Whether they’re chasing the bad guys — well, badder guys — in cars, on foot or riding motorcycles, this is a high action fight to the finish.

The Eureka! blu ray release of The Double Crossers has  1080p HD presentation from a brand new 2K restoration of both the Hong Kong theatrical cut and English language export cut. There’s new audio commentary on the Hong Kong theatrical version by East Asian film expert Frank Djeng, as well as new audio commentary on the export version by action cinema experts Mike Leeder and Arne Venema, plus a trailer. It’s all inside a reversible sleeve featuring original poster artwork, as well as a limited edition O-Card slipcase featuring new artwork by Darren Wheeling and a collector’s booklet featuring new writing on the film by James Oliver. You can get it from MVD.

Shi Zi So Hou Shou is the Shaolin Handlock, a fighting skill created by Li Bai (Dick Wei) and given to his children Cheng Ying (David Chiang) and Meng Ping (Chen Ping). He’s killed by Fang Yun Biao (Chan Shen), a man who he thought was a friend, and then two of his students — who Fang Yun Biao thought were Cheng Ying and Meng Ping — are also murdered, as the evil martial artist knows the only weakness in this style.

The Shaolin Handlock is pretty much a headlock. A front chancery, if you will, except you flip over someone’s head to do it.

Directed by Ho Meng-Hua, this has Cheng Ying learn that his father’s killer was hired by Lin Hao (Lo Lieh), so he becomes that man’s bodyguard, despite others in his employ suspecting him. His goal is to get closer and get back for his dead dad.  I really liked Fang Yun Biao’s hidden blades and the fact that after he kills people, he blows off steam in brothels. He’s a guy that causes death yet knows how to live life.

How long can the hero stay hidden and not show off his family’s well-known martial arts move? And when the bad guys take his sister, how can he save her? These are the questions that this answers and you’ll be pleased by what happens next. At least I think you will. I don’t presume to know if everyone will be happy. I hope so.

Cannonball is why I watch movies.

It stars a cast of people that honestly, only someone like me would care about, and it’s made by people just as colorful, a crew of folks that would go on to dominate the film industry after emerging from the Roger Corman film cycle. It’s everything great about Cannonball Run, but both more serious and ridiculous, sometimes within the very same scene.

Much like the aforementioned Cannonball Run, as well as Speed Zone and The Gumball Rally, this movie was inspired by Erwin G. “Cannonball” Baker, who raced across the United States several times and by the race named after him, the Cannonball Baker Sea-To-Shining-Sea Memorial Trophy Dash. This illegal cross-continent road race was started by Car and Driver editor Brock Yates to protest the 55 MPH speed limit.

David Carradine plays Coy “Cannonball” Buckman, who has just been released from serving time for the death of a girl while he was driving drunk. He’s been entered into the illegal Los Angeles to New York City Trans-America Grand Prix in the hopes that he can get his racing career restarted.

That’s because Modern Motors has promised a contract to either him or his arch-rival Cade Redman (Bill McKinney, Deliverance, First Blood). Meanwhile, Coy has to somehow convince his lover/parole officer Linda Maxwell (Veronica Hamel, When Time Ran Out) to allow him to race.

Redman doesn’t have it easy either. His expenses are being paid by Sharma Capri (Judy “The Ozark Nightingale” Canova, who hosted her own national radio show from 1942 to 1955) and her client, country singer Perman Waters (Gerrit Graham, amazing as always, just like he is in Terrorvision and Phantom of the Paradise).

Other racers include:

• Young lovers Jim Crandell (Robert Carradine, Revenge of the Nerds) and Maryann (Belinda Balaski, every Joe Dante movie), who take her daddy’s Corvette and enter the race
• Terry McMillan (Carl Gottlieb, one of the writers of Jaws!), a middle-aged man driving a Chevrolet Blazer
• Beutell (Stanley Bennett Clay), who has taken a Lincoln Continental from a kindly old and rich couple and promised to get it to New York City safely
• A tricked out van driven by three waitresses — Sandy (Mary Woronov you have my heart), Ginny (stuntwoman Glynn Rubin) and Wendy (Diane Lee Hart, The Giant Spider Invasion)
• German driver Wolfe Messer (James Keach, Sunburst) in a De Tomaso Pantera
• Zippo (Archie Hahn, who was one of the Juicy Fruits in Phantom of Paradise), who is Coy’s best friend and drives a Pontiac Trans Am just like his buddy.

What Coy doesn’t know is that his brother Bennie (Dick Miller) has bet that he will win and will do anything to ensure that happens, including killing Messer. Meanwhile, McMillan has his car — and mistress Louisa (Louisa Moritz, Myra from Death Race 2000) — flown to the finish line.

Redman kicks Perman — who becomes a big country star when his song about the race takes off — and Sharma out of his car, but in his final battle with Coy, a piece of Perman’s guitar gets stuck in the gas pedal and he dies in a big crash. While all this is going on, Zippo is in the lead, so Bennie sends out a hitman to off him. Coy had put his girl in that car as he felt it was safer — actually it was Zippo who did the drunk driving and Coy covered for his friend — but a major crash ensues and Linda is taken to the hospital by Jim and Maryann.

Terry and Louisa arrive first at the finish line, but Louisa accidentally tells the judges that they flew most of the way. The girls in the van get lost and crash, while Coy makes it to the finish line. Just before he’s about to win, he learns Linda is in the hospital and races off to see her. This leaves his brother to be killed by gangster Lester Marks (Paul Bartel, who also directed the film) and his men (Sylvester Stallone makes a cameo, as does Martin Scorsese, as mafioso).

Jim and Maryann win the race and the $100,000, while Coy gets his racing contract and the girl, and Beutell delivers the now destroyed Lincoln to its owners.

Other actors who show up for the madness are John Herzfeld (who was in Cobra and wrote and directed the films Escape Plan: The Extractors and 2 Days In the Valley), Patrick Wright (Wicked Wicked, Caged Heat, Graduation Day), future directors and at the time Corman assistants/editors Allan Arkush (Rock ‘n Roll High School) and Joe Dante (more movies than I can name, all of them wonderful), Roger Corman himself as a District Attorney, Jonathan Kaplan (director of White Line Fever, The Accused and The Student Teachers), Aron Kincaid (who was the voice of the Iron Sheik and Bobby Heenan on Hulk Hogan’s Rock ‘n’ Wrestling and Killer Croc on Batman: The Animated Series), Joseph McBride (writer of Rock ‘n Roll High School), Read Morgan (The Car), John Alderman (New Year’s Evil) and even superproducer Don Simpson, who co-wrote the movie with Bartel. This movie is what happens when everyone working for Corman at the time all gets together so the budget can have extras.

Paul Bartel did not enjoy making this film because he felt he was being typecast as an action director. But after he only made $5,000 after spending a year of his life making Death Race 2000, it was the only kind of movie people wanted from him. “Corman had drummed into me the idea that if Death Race 2000 had been harder and more real it would have been more popular. Like a fool, I believed him.”

Bartel wasn’t a fan of cars and racing, so he loaded the movie with cameos and character gimmicks. His favorite scene was when he plays the piano and sings while two gangsters beat up Dick Miller. And the end is pretty rough for a movie that’s so funny, so star David Carradine tried to talk to Bartel about how disturbing he intended it to be.

When Joe Bob Briggs did his How Rednecks Saved Hollywood show, he mentioned that this movie destroys Cannonball Run. As always, he was right.

Perhaps most amazing of all is the fact that this was co-produced by Shaw Brothers. Yes, Paul Bartel directed a Shaw Brothers movie.

Kuei Chih-Hung is one of my favorite Shaw Brothers directors and this feels like the beginnings of the mayhem and gross out magic that he would soon be famous for.

Liu Miao-Li (Liu Wu-Chi) and Chen Liang (Lam Wai-Tiu) are on the bus, excited that they are about to have a child when criminals attack, stealing their money and killing Chen. His wife’s life descents into sorrow — she’s robbed of her husband’s estate and a man tries to drag her into sex work — leading to her suicide. Yet before she dies, she makes arrangements to jump off a cliff wearing a red shroud, which is said to let the afterworld know that she needs revenge. As a Taoist priestess prays for Liu’s soul, she says, “When the door to hell is opened, there’s no turning back.”

Soon, everyone that has wronged her finds their bodies being mangled into all manner of nightmares, like neon boils exploding from their skin, another head growing from the shoulder and Fulci-level eyeball violence. Then, a woman’s stomach grows out of control, she eats a bowl of puke and chases her husband, as everyone involved must atone. Puke drinking is part of the journey. After this, heads will roll.

As this becomes episodic, the different criminals are followed to their grisly fates. This is 76 minutes of green gels, oozing pus and blood everywhere, all over everything. Most revenge movies just stick to guns. This goes all the way to occult torture on a level that few movies can dream of getting near.