CANNON MONTH 3: Shaolin Kung Fu Mystagogue (1977)

EDITOR’S NOTE: As the journey through Cannon continues, this week we’re exploring the films of 21st Century Film Corporation, which would be the company that Menahem Golan would take over after Cannon. Formed by Tom Ward and Art Schweitzer in 1971 (or 1976, there are some disputed expert opinions), 21st Century had a great logo and released some wild stuff.

What is a mystagogue? According to Wikipedia, it’s “A mystagogue is a person who initiates others into mystic beliefs, and an educator or person who has knowledge of the sacred mysteries of a belief system.”

Fang Shao Ching (Carter Wong) has one of those mystagogues. His blind teacher refuses to reveal the 18th secret move to him as he’s too impatient. That said, if a martial artist uses the 18th strike, it doesn’t just kill their opponent. They die as a result of the blow as well. So maybe the teacher is right to not share this strike.

Soon, Fang Shao Ching and his sister Fang Ping (Feng Hsu) must protect a prince from the Ching government, which has taken over. They’ve sent many killers to murder him, including Yeun Ming (Chang Yi), who has perhaps the greatest weapon since the flying guillotine. He has these magnetic knives called the Bloody Birds that can either be knives, spinning blades, boomerangs, bombs or even drills that go right through flesh.

Sure, the fighting isn’t the best, but the main bad guy has skin that can’t be pierced and a throne that shoots bullets. Plus, you get rooms full of traps and I love when kung fu meets dungeon crawling. It’s no Shaw Brothers but is still pretty fun.

According to Temple of Schlock, this was originally called Da Mo Mi Zong and first played in 1976. It was first released in the U.S. by Headliner Productions as Mystagogue Superman and it as played as Killer Fists and 18 Shaolin Disciples.

You can watch this on YouTube.

CANNON MONTH 3: Rock ‘n’ Roll Revue (1955)

Directed by Joseph Kohn, who specialized in these music films, this was put together from several TV shorts and host segments with Willie Bryan were added. Bryan was the “Mayor of Harlem,” famous for being the host of the original Showtime at the Apollo, a 13-episode TV show that is where many of these songs originated.

This was an opportunity for white kids across the country to see and hear bands they may not get the chance to at the time. Well, if they wanted to go to all black movie houses. That said, it has a great mix of songs from this era, including Duke Ellington and His Orchestra playing “The Mooche,””Your Cash Ain’t Nothin’ But Trash” by The Clovers, “Only a Moment Ago” by Dinah Washington, Big Joe Turner playing “Okimoshebop,” Larry Darnell performing”What More Do You Want Me to Do,” “Only a Moment Ago” by Dinah Washington and Nat “King” Cole singing “The Trouble With Me Is You.”

Somehow, 21st Century ended up with the rights to this. Consider it your chance to see what rock and roll was in its nascent embryonic stage. There’s also another similar film that 21st Century also ended up owning, Rhythm and Blues Revue.

You can watch this on Tubi.

CANNON MONTH 3: Group Marriage (1972)

EDITOR’S NOTE: As the journey through Cannon continues, this week we’re exploring the films of 21st Century Film Corporation, which would be the company that Menahem Golan would take over after Cannon. Formed by Tom Ward and Art Schweitzer in 1971 (or 1976, there are some disputed expert opinions), 21st Century had a great logo and released some wild stuff.

After pretty much creating the nurse cycle for Corman with The Student Nurses and then directing The Velvet Vampire, Stephanie Rothman and her husband Charles Swartz left New World for Larry Woolner’s new Dimension Films. It was still exploitation and she didn’t have much creative control, but it was more money and the opportunity to own some of the movies that she was making.

Rothman directed this movie, Terminal Island and The Working Girls, as well as writing the script for Beyond Atlantis, offering some creative ideas to Sweet Sugar and re-editing The Sin of Adam and Eve. After stops and starts, as well as writing Starhops and taking her name off it when the film didn’t reflect what she wrote, she eventually left movies.

We’re all the worse for this, as her films are progressive in 2024 and had to be incendiary in the 1970s.

This starts in a rental car office, where we meet Chris (Aimée Eccles, Ulzana’s RaidParadise Alley) and Judy (Jayne Kennedy!). Well, Judy isn’t in this, but Jayne Kennedy is always a welcome actress in any film. Chris has issues with her boyfriend Sandor (Solomon Sturges, son of Preston, who is also in The Working Girls), who pretty much berates her at any opportunity and is only concerned with writing acerbic bumper stickers. He flips out that he doesn’t have a working car, so she has to hurry home and fix it — the women in this movie don’t just have agency, they’re all more capable than the men — and that’s when she rides in the same taxi as Dennis (Jeff Pomerantz). This leads to Dennis trying to get them to stop fighting, staying overnight, having his girlfriend Jan (Victoria Vetri, Playboy Playmate of the Month for September 1967 and 1968 Playmate of the Year; she’s also Rosemary’s Baby, playing Terry Gionoffrio, and in Invasion of the Bee Girls) break up with him and sleeping with Chris.

Before you know it, Dennis is introducing Jan to the couple and all four are in an intertwined relationship. That soon becomes five when the women — who are just as in charge of their sexuality as the men — fall for a lifeguard named Phil Kirby (Zack Taylor, The Young Nurses). Yet he feels a little lonely and starts looking for someone else. At this point, I was marveling at how beautiful everyone in this movie is. And that’s when Phil’s partner is introduced: Elaine (Claudia Jennings). Sure, she’s a lawyer representing his ex-wife in the divorce, but she wants him.

Everyone decides to get married but Jan doesn’t want commitment, even if they have the opportunity to be with different people within their poly group. But then people start showing up trying to be part of the group and some go wild and try to firebomb their house. Dennis even loses his job. Elaine decides to figure out how to make group marriage legal, which leads to all five getting married. And wow, I lied before, because Judy ended up with Dennis, so now there are six. I mean seven! Chris is pregnant.

How progressive is the California of Stephanie Rothman? Not only can these people all create their own marriage, but their gay neighbors Randy (John McMurtry) and Rodney (Bill Striglos) are also able to be husband and husband, 22 years before the first legal same sex marriage in America.

Other than the John Sebastian song  “Darling Companion” and the stereotypical mincing gay couple, there’s a lot to celebrate here. It’s erotic, sure, but never feels filthy or even exploitative. This is at once a humorous but thoughtful take on the good and bad of being married to six people. As always, Rothman’s work is nearly current today and many of her movies were released before I was born.

This was re-released by 21st Century as a double feature with The Muthers.

The Sizzlin’ Something Weird Summer Challenge 2024: Torture Dungeon (1970)

69 EsSINtial SWV Titles (September 15 – 21): Klon, who came up with this list, said “This isn’t the 69 BEST SWV movies, it isn’t my 69 FAVORITE SWV movies, my goal was to highlight 69 of the MOST SWV movies.” You can see the whole list here, including some of the ones I’ve already posted.

“I’m trisexual — I’ll try anything for pleasure!”

Any movie that has this line, no matter what happens in it, has something good in it.

Norman (Gerald Jaccuzo) is The Duke Of Norwich. When his half-brother is killed, he gets closer to the throne, which makes him filled with a need for power. He sets his other half-brother Albert (Hal Borske) up with a commoner named Heather MacGregor (Susan Cassidy) with plans to take control of their child and therefore, the throne. But there’s also the dead half-brother’s pregnant wife Lady Jane (Patricia Dillon), a hunchback named Ivan (Richard Mason) — who even gets into a threesome — and a woman with one eye.

I can’t even imagine what people unaware of Andy Milligan think when they saw this. It could still be happening now thanks to streaming, as someone sees the poster art and the title and thinks. “I’ll try this” before they’re confronted by Staten Island being a foreign country and costumes that look like they came from a Christmas play. Will any of them make it to the end? Or will they just be upset by what they have seen?

You can watch this on Tubi.

The Sizzlin’ Something Weird Summer Challenge 2024: The Curious Dr. Humpp (1969)

69 EsSINtial SWV Titles (September 15 – 21): Klon, who came up with this list, said “This isn’t the 69 BEST SWV movies, it isn’t my 69 FAVORITE SWV movies, my goal was to highlight 69 of the MOST SWV movies.” You can see the whole list here, including some of the ones I’ve already posted.

La venganza del sexo (Revenge of Sex) was released by Forbes-Unistar in the U.S. with the amazing title of The Curious Dr. Humpp.

Dr. Humpp (Dr. Zoide in the original, played by Aldo Barbero and wearing a wild outfit) plans on giving mankind eternal life using the power of the human libido. He has kidnapped several people*, including Rachel (Gloria Prat) and her boyfriend, a few hippies, a couple of lesbians and a woman with photos of naked men, and plans on forcing them to make love as much and as often as possible.

He also has a monster to kidnap these young sexual folks.

George (Ricardo Bauleo) is a reporter who follows Dr. Humpp after watching him buy boner pills at a pharmacy. Why does a sex doctor need to buy these things? He follows him to his secret lab and gets captured. He and Rachel make a plan and while George is getting it on with the nurse (Susana Beltrán), he learns that she wants to escape and be part of their plan. The monster has also become obsessed with a stripper that he captured.

Directed by Emilio Vieyra (who wrote this) and Jerald Intrator, this is a movie filled with dialogue like, “I must position this positive electrode against the nerves of the libido. If this experiment succeeds, I’ll not only be able to restrain lust, but also turn humans into veritable screwing machines!,” “Sex dominates the world! And now, I dominate sex!” and “It was I who first discovered how to make a man impotent by hiding his hat. I was the first one to explain the connection between excessive masturbation and entering politics.”

Fog. A monster that plays guitar. A strange and haunting soundtrack that’s as much jazz as early electronic music and I have no way of making it fit into a single category. A movie that tries to look like an Italian horror movie but also has nudity in nearly every scene. And the main power lurking in the shadows? A brain kept alive in fluid. And yes, one of my favorites, ether kidnapping.

The love that I have for this movie cannot be calculated by the logic of alphabets and the weights and measures of the human race.

*All of these scenes are inserts added when the movie made its way to the U.S. You can see Kim Pope (Intimate Teenager) and Kim Lewid (A Thousand Pleasures).

The Sizzlin’ Something Weird Summer Challenge 2024: The Wizard of Gore (1970)

69 EsSINtial SWV Titles (September 15 – 21): Klon, who came up with this list, said “This isn’t the 69 BEST SWV movies, it isn’t my 69 FAVORITE SWV movies, my goal was to highlight 69 of the MOST SWV movies.” You can see the whole list here, including some of the ones I’ve already posted.

This movie is a miracle, because so much went wrong. The actor playing the monstrous Montag the Magnificent walked off the set following a confrontation with Fred Sandy and crew member Ray Sager had to take over the role. And as for the effects, they were basically two dead sheep soaked in PineSol. I can’t even imagine how much everything stunk, like the smell of an adult bookstore before they started making couples friendly places. Handling all those sheep organs was director Herschell Gordon Lewis’ son Robert.

Yes, it’s amazing that a movie with such primitive effects and non-trained actors works so well, but that’s just the weirdness that are the films of Lewis, movies that seem to exist inside vacuums of non-action punctuated by blasts of nausea-imbuing viscera.

Every night, Montag takes the stage and has long-winded speeches about the nature of reality before murdering a woman in front of an audience, then showing that it was all a trick. Then, the same woman dies the same way later that night. Reporters Sherry Carson (Judy Cler) and Greg (Phil Laurenson), along with her boyfriend Jack (Wayne Ratay), know that Montag is behind all of this. They just need to prove it.

The end of this movie breaks from what we expect and goes full psychotic. As they sit on the couch, Jack peels off his own face and reveals Montag before shoving his hands into the stomach of Sherry, who laughs in his face and disputes the illusions and the very nature of Montag’s reality, sending the entire movie back to the very beginning of this movie, creating a loop of reality as Sherry turns to her man and says, “You know what I think? I think he’s a phony.”

The Sizzlin’ Something Weird Summer Challenge 2024: The Shiver of the Vampires (1971)

69 EsSINtial SWV Titles (September 15 – 21): Klon, who came up with this list, said “This isn’t the 69 BEST SWV movies, it isn’t my 69 FAVORITE SWV movies, my goal was to highlight 69 of the MOST SWV movies.” You can see the whole list here, including some of the ones I’ve already posted.

Also known as Sex and Vampires, Strange Things Happen at Night, Terror of the Vampires, Thrill of the Vampire and Vampire Thrills, this is the third time that Jean Rollin would bring a vampire movie to the screen. Look, if you’re obsessed, you’re obsessed.

Isle (Sandra Julien, Je Suis Frigide… Pourquoi?) and Antoine (Jean-Marie Durand) have just arrived in town for their honeymoon, only to learn that the cousins they plan on staying with have died. But hey — they’re house is open, right? And it’s totally not weird that the two servants (Marie-Pierre Castel and Kuelan Herce) just tell them to stay. Nor is it otherworldly that Isolde (Dominique) emerges from a clock and soon, she’s unable to go out into the sun.

Every woman is naked, bras have spikes in them, castles are filled with fog, Rollin shows a love of the lighting and colors of Bava and the band Acanthu is just rocking so hard that no one can yell loud enough over them to tell them, “Hey this is a dreamy sapphic vampire movie, maybe stop rocking so hard” and they’re just headbanging and smoke is everywhere and just go with it, man.

Also: Not the last lesbian vampire movie Rollin had in him.

CANNON MONTH 3: Supersoul Brother (1978)

EDITOR’S NOTE: As the journey through Cannon continues, this week we’re exploring the films of 21st Century Film Corporation, which would be the company that Menahem Golan would take over after Cannon. Formed by Tom Ward and Art Schweitzer in 1971 (or 1976, there are some disputed expert opinions), 21st Century had a great logo and released some wild stuff.

Also known as The Six Thousand Dollar N*****r, this is a regional Miami superhero crime comedy directed by Rene Martinez Jr. (The Guy from Harlem, Road of Death).

Two criminals — Bob (Benny Latimore) and Jim (Lee Cross) — pay Dr. Dippy (Peter Conrad) six grand to create a superhero formula. You may think that such a thing would cost more which is why what the doctor makes kills whoever drinks it in just six days. They pay a homeless man named Steve (“Wildman” Steve Gallon) to take the potion and help them rip off a jewelry store. Well, they trick him into it and then tell him he’s going to die soon unless he finds a cure.

Steve falls for Peggy (Joycelyn Norris) and takes her virginity, which is really an uncomfy scene filled with no consent at all and Steve’s the hero. How strange that Dr. Dippy and his tall lover Monica (Wild Savage) have the better relationship?

Wildman Steve also shows up in  Rudy Ray Moore’s Petey Wheatstraw: The Devil’s Son In Law, which makes sense, as he’s very close to Dolemite here. He also is obsessed with ass washing, which has to be a Redd Foxx reference, as the comedian had an entire album titled You Gotta Wash Your Ass. Much like Foxx, Wildman released party animals, which were stand-up comedy records filled with dirty jokes that were sold under the counter at record stores. He also was a DJ on the radio and did many charitable efforts for Miami’s unhoused population, which won him the Cultural Ambassador’s Award.

Despite the title, this has nothing to do with The Six Million Dollar Man.

You can get the AGFA blu ray of this from Vinegar Syndrome.

CANNON MONTH 3: Shalimar (1978)

EDITOR’S NOTE: As the journey through Cannon continues, this week we’re exploring the films of 21st Century Film Corporation, which would be the company that Menahem Golan would take over after Cannon. Formed by Tom Ward and Art Schweitzer in 1971 (or 1976, there are some disputed expert opinions), 21st Century had a great logo and released some wild stuff.

Based on The Vulture is a Patient Bird by James Hadley Chase, at the time, this was the most expensive movie made in Bollywood. In addition to stars such as Dharmendra, Zeenat Aman and Shammi Kapoor, imported actors like Rex Harrison, John Saxon and Sylvia Miles all get in on the action.

Sir John Locksley (Rex Harrison), the greatest jewel thief in the world, decides his most prized possession, the Shalimar Ruby, should be passed on to a worthy successor. He invites every other master jewel thief in the world to his island estate to participate in a deadly contest.

Yes, this feels like the set-up for a Jess Franco movie. Instead, it’s a Bollywood action film with Countess Rasmussen (Miles), Col. Columbus (Saxon), Dr. Kuhkari (Kapoor), Romeo (OP Ralhan) and Raja Bahadur Singh all fighting to win that prized stone. Well, Singh dies right away, so SS Kumar (Dharmendra) takes his place. I mean, that diamond was worth $135 million in 1978, so you can figure out why everyone is trying to murder each other.

Directed by Krishna Shah, who made his name on Broadway, this had unique cuts for India and the U.S. The American version was released by 21st Century as Raiders of the Sacred Stone and Raiders of the Shalimar. They also re-released another Shad movie, The River Niger. He’d go on to direct, write and produce American Drive-In and Hard Rock Zombies.

The story came from Stanford Sherman, who also wrote Any Which Way You CanKrull and The Ice Pirates.

CANNON MONTH 3: Aida (1953)

EDITOR’S NOTE: As the journey through Cannon continues, this week we’re exploring the films of 21st Century Film Corporation, which would be the company that Menahem Golan would take over after Cannon. Formed by Tom Ward and Art Schweitzer in 1971 (or 1976, there are some disputed expert opinions), 21st Century had a great logo and released some wild stuff.

Of all the weird releases of 21st Century, how and why did they re-release Aida?

Renata Tebaldi and Gina Lollobrigida were originally cast to play Aida. Some say that Gina turned this down because she didn’t want to be dubbed by Renata Tebaldi, who sings all of the opera in this. Loren took the part, her first starring role, because “I couldn’t afford to be so proud.”

Directed and written by Clemente Fracassi, this is the opera Aida by Giuseppe Verdi. This takes some of the action and scope of peplum and the class of opera, which were being filmed in Italy at this time.

Aida was once an Ethiopian princes but is now a slave. Despite the war against her country, she has fallen for one of the enemy Radames (Luciano Della Marra with the singing voice of Giuseppe Campora), who is also in love with Princess Amneris (Lois Maxwell — Moneypenny? — with the voice of Ebe Stegnani).

The odd thing today is that Loren is in blackface. It looks quite odd not just because of how much the world has changed but for how badly it is applied.

21st Century re-released this in 1982.

You can watch this on YouTube.