A former student of Jessica’s becomes involved in a love triangle that ends in murder.

Season 2, Episode 12: Murder by Appointment Only (January 5, 1986)

Tonight on Murder, She Wrote…

Everyone Jessica knows gets killed. You know how it goes. This time, a former student finds love, drama and death. Does Grady show up? No! Not Grady!

Who’s in it, outside of Angela Lansbury?

Lila Lee Amberson is Jayne Meadows, Billy Crystal’s mom in City Slickers. She’s the older sister of Audrey Meadows.

Fiona Keeler is Christine Belford, who was in Christine.

Norman Amberson? Robert Culp! Am I going to make the joke about his dick again? Yes.

Roger Adiano is played by Robert Desiderio.

Elizabeth Gordon is Ann Dusenberry from Jaws 2.

Herb Edelman — Stan Zbornak — is Lieutenant Varick!

Grady Fletcher is in this. Yes, he’s played by Michael Horton again.

Leigh McCloskey from Inferno! He’s Todd Amberson.

Millie Perkins — yes, Anne Frank — is Glenda Vandevere. She was also in The Witch Who Came from the Sea.

In minor roles, Robert Stoneman is a photographer, Fred Ponzlov is Mr. Hillsdale, Catherine Battistone and Cathy McAuley are actresses, and Sam Nickens plays a guest.

What happens?

While in New York City, Jessica runs into an old student, Elizabeth Gordon, who has become the fiancée of Lila Lee cosmetics tycoon Norman Amberson. As good as her life sounds, she reveals that it is pretty rough. So when she shows up dead — even students of Jessica aren’t safe from her death energy, which is like Dim Mak, the punch of death — JB promises to get justice.

At one point, Lila Lee even shows up and thinks that Cabbot Cove is Cabbage Cove, so you can understand why Jessica feels weird about her.

Jessica’s student was a sex worker before she hooked up with the rich guy. But let’s not shame. Elizabeth’s portrait is painted with lipstick after her death, a lipstick whose color — Tangerine Twist — has been taken out of the catalogue. Somehow, though, Elizabeth was literally a hooker with a heart of gold and gave most of the money she made to charity.

But what if she starts seeing an old client? Will all the rumors of her being a gold digger cause her death? I mean, we’re watching Murder, She Wrote.

Who did it?

Norman, who was jealous and worried about his wife’s past.

Who made it?

This episode was directed by Arthur Allan Seidelman and written by TV vet Jerry Ross.

Does Jessica get some?

No. Come on!

Does Jessica dress up and act stupid?

She does, dressing up like she’s a make-up saleswoman for Lila Lee!

Was it any good?

Yeah.

Any trivia?

Herb Edleman would come back as Lieutenant Artie Gelber.

Christine Belford appeared in four episodes as different characters. When she was a kid, she lived at the Amityville Horror house from ages 11-16. Then, her parents sold it to the DeFoes.

Give me a reasonable quote:

Lila Lee Amberson: Mrs. Fletcher! You should have told me you weren’t a Lila Lee lady. I just assumed you were one of us because you ARE absolutely perfect. My dear, it gives me great pleasure to offer you the entire Lila Lee franchise for all of Cabbage Cove.

What’s next?

It’s a bad day for the jury when Jessica is the foreperson hearing the case of a man claiming self-defense in the death of an enraged husband.

A shapeshifting alien from outer space assumes a human form (Paolo Seganti,  Sotto il vestito niente – L’ultima sfila) in order to mate with Lou Ann Solomon (Heather Langenkamp), a housewife who has enough to put up with. She has an ill-tempered husband, Matt (Mitchell Whitfield), drunk girlfriends Selena and Tess (Kim Myers and Maria Chin) and a visit from her parents (Jennifer Darling and Steve Kahan).

Of course, Langenkamp was Nancy and Kim Myers was Lisa in the Nightmare On Elm Street movies.

This is the only directing credit for Dean Lopata, who is primarily a producer and the story editor on Bones. The story was written by Gilbert Adler and Jeannette Lewis. This is her only script, and most of her career was in minor roles on TV shows.

“The Ultimate Weapon” in Incredible Science Fiction #32 is where the title comes from. The comic was written by Jack Oleck and drawn by Bernie Krigstein and Roy Krenkel.

You can download all of the episodes here or watch this episode on YouTube.

An archaeological dig, potentially the site of Coronado’s City of Gold, does not please everyone as a new corpse is discovered.

Season 2, Episode 11: Murder Digs Deep (December 29, 1985)

Tonight on Murder, She Wrote…

What if Jessica Fletcher went on an Indiana Jones-style adventure?

Who’s in it, outside of Angela Lansbury, and were they in any exploitation movies?

Karen Parks is played by Cecile Callan. Most of her career was on TV.

Dr. Aubrey Benton is George Grizzard, a TV movie regular.

Dr. Stan Garfield is David Groh, Rhoda‘s husband Joe. At one point, this guy was on the highest-rated show almost ever.

Raymond Two Crows is Randolph Mantooth from Emergency!

Steve Gamble? That’s Stephen Shortridge, who was on Welcome Back, Kotter.

Man! The Armstrongs, Gideon and Cynthia? Connie Stevens and Robert Vaughn! There’s the starpower!

William Windom is Dr. Seth, as always.

Minor roles are played by Robert Dryer, Jake from Savage Streets, as a guard and Curtis Credel (the Worth Keeter movie Hot Heir) as a Native American.

What happens?

Jessica and Dr. Seth are on a platonic date all the way in New Mexico, digging with the Armstrongs. Joining them are grad students Karen Parkes and Steve Gamble, Dr. Garfrield, who is looking for treasure, Dr. Bento, who is also looking for gold and Native American expert Raymond Twocrows. At night, a Native American dancer keeps trying to scare them away.

The next night, Cynthia gets drunk and shoots at the dancer. He falls down, and it ends up being Raymond, who didn’t die from a gunshot. Yes, this show is a Giallo. Jessica soon shows Seth that Raymond only fell three feet, so that couldn’t be what killed him. It was drowning. In the desert.

The Armstrongs don’t allow anyone to use the radio or go to town to get the police. Jessica decides to look through the caves and scares Seth for the second time this episode, finding a cassette player with tribal chants on it. Someone is trying to scare people off while also leaving relics all around to try to get some more money for the land.

Who did it?

Cynthia, trying to take money off her husband through murder.

Who made it?

This episode was directed by Phillip Leacock and written by Mary Ann Kasica and Michael Scheff.

Does Jessica get some?

I think in this episode, she was testing Dr. Seth to see if he could be a hero and a rough lover. He failed.

Does Jessica dress up and act stupid?

She gets to wear desert dig clothes.

Was it any good?

Sure, it’s alright.

Any trivia?

I love that Raymond ends up being a fake Native American, one of the few examples of evil whitewashing I’ve seen.

Watch when Cynthia shoots at the Native American dancer. Her husband calls her her real name, Connie, not Cynthia.

It’s illegal to dig for relics on Native American reservations.

Give me a reasonable quote:

Jessica Fletcher: Is the weather always like this?

Dr. Seth Hazlitt: Nope. It starts to get hot in a couple of hours.

What’s next?

A former student of Jessica’s becomes involved in a love triangle that ends in murder. Robert Culp is in it, but doesn’t show his dick.

On a mission to investigate an uncharted planet, a spaceship captain (Jennifer Hetrick) and her mixed gender crew, Bryan (Wil Wheaton), Taylor (Sean Astin, who directed) and Paula (Kathleen Wilhoite) struggle with anxiety when an extraterrestrial virus puts the ship in lockdown. Then, the self-destruct sequence starts.

This episode was written by Kevin Rock, who was the writer of the Roger Corman Fantastic Four.

This takes its title from “Snap Ending!” from Weird Science #18. That short — “A gag story about space explorers who land on a giant alien child’s balloon and pop it, much to the consternation of the child.” — was written by Al Feldstein and William Gaines and drawn by Al Williamson. This episode is not close to that story.

You can download all of the episodes here or watch this episode on YouTube.

After Beverly Gareth is electrocuted in her bath, Cabot Cove is flooded with poison pen letters, which prove hard for the town to handle as Amos prepares to hand the reins over to a new sheriff, Harry Pierce. Jessica has her hands full with a travel writer who has come to stay with her for a time to put Cabot Cove on the map.

Season 2, Episode 10: Sticks and Stones (December 15, 1985)

Tonight on Murder, She Wrote…

Cabot Cove is flooded with negativity, which proves rough for the town to handle as Amos prepares to retire.

Who’s in it, outside of Angela Lansbury, and were they in any exploitation movies?

John Astin is back as Harry Pierce, now going from real estate man to perhaps sheriff. This is the last of three appearances by him as this character; he also played Ross Hayley in season 1’s “Hooray for Homicide” and will return as Fritz Randall in season 11.

Spoiler, but this isn’t the last appearance of Tom Bosely as Sherrif Amos. He’d be on the show until season 4, when he left to be the lead on Father Dowling Mysteries.

Friedrich Hoffman is played by Paul Benedict, who you may know best as Harry Bentley from The Jeffersons. He was also in Mandingo, Smile, A Mighty Wind and This is Spinal Tap. He had acromegaly, the same birth defect as Andre the Giant and Rondo Hatton. Still, it was recognized by an endocrinologist whose intervention allowed him to live a much longer life.

George Knapp is played by Joseph Campanella, the voice actor behind the cartoon version of Spider-Man’s enemy, The Lizard. He was also in tons of films like Dead Girls Don’t Tango, Body Chemistry, Hangar 18 and Earthbound.

Larry Burns is played by John David Carson, the son of cowboy actor Kit Carson. He was also in The Fifth Floor, Empire of the Ants and Creature from Black Lake.

Elvira Tree is Marsha Hunt, who was Joe’s mother in Johnny Got His Gun.

Edna is Evelyn Keyes, who was in everything from Gone With the Wind and The Seven Year Itch to Wicked Stepmother, A Return to Salem’s Lot and Hell’s Half Acre. She was married to Artie Shaw.

Nils Anderson is Denny Miller, who played Tarzan in Tarzan, the Ape Man (in 1959, not with Bo Derek) and had henchman roles on numerous TV shows.

Lila Norris is Betsey Palmer, and man, you probably know that I’m obsessed with her.

Michael Digby is played by Parker Stevenson, one of the Hardy Boys.

Adam Frobisher is Christopher Stone, who was in Cujo and The Howling. He was once married to Dee Wallace.

Dr. Seth Hazlitt is back, played by William Windom as always.

Bart Nelson is played by Howard Witt. He was Mr. Boogedy!

Smaller roles include Phillip Brown as Deputy Willard and background roles for Ceil Cabot, Ken Sasnsom, Bob Tzudiker, Garnett Smith, Kristy Syverson and Danny McCoy, Jr.

What happens?

Sheriff Amos has retired for all of a minute when a series of mean letters — ala Needful Things but three years before that came out, but they’re both ripping off the Agatha Christie story The Moving Finger — bring him back in to work with Jessica, as new lawman Harry Pierce is pretty much the worst. Everyone is losing their minds because of these letters, as evidenced by a lady named Edna, who thinks Jessica is sleeping with her husband, so she smacks her in the head.

These letters are being sent because a woman named Beverly planned for letters to be sent out when she dies, as she is convinced that she will be killed. She is — death in the bathtub, my favorite — and she’s not the last, as a suicide soon follows.

Who could have turned the town on itself? Why is Cabot Cove so mean?

Who did it?

In an amazing misdirect — and one I would hope was planned from his first appearance — Harry Pierce shows that he’s more than a bad real estate developer. He’s also a killer and someone who burned down his own buildings for insurance settlements. He even pulls a gun on Jessica and says that he was friends with her and Frank, but now she has to die.

Who made it?

This episode was directed by Seymour Robbie and written by Jackson Gillis, Linda Shank and Mark Giles.

Does Jessica get some?

She’s lucky she didn’t get killed.

Does Jessica dress up and act stupid?

This is a deadly serious episode, even if one woman thinks Jessica was in bed with her spouse.

Was it any good?

Yes! When I first saw this, Gomez Addams being the killer was a shock.

Any trivia?

This is the first time in the series that one person from Cabot Cove murders someone else from the town. Until now, it’s all been crimes involving outsiders.

Give me a reasonable quote:

Sheriff Amos Tupper: Well, one thing’s for sure. This has got accident written all over it. Frayed cord, bathroom door locked from the inside. Even Mrs. Fletcher couldn’t make a murder out of this one.

What’s next?

An archaeological dig, potentially the site of Coronado’s City of Gold, does not please everyone as a new corpse is discovered.

In the 1930s, Bob (Jason Lee) and John (Jamie Kennedy) are just two guests of a Halloween party where everyone is losing their minds over the Mercury Theatre production of The War of the Worlds. It gets out of hand as people start turning up dead.

What a cast! Harvey Korman, Larraine Newman, Edie McClurg, Kria Reed, Tracey Middendorf, Steve Monroe, Bryce Ingman and the one person you should never trust: Chris Sarandon. He’s the Orson Welles! Tobe Hooper directs! Andrew Kevin Walker, who also wrote Brainscan, 8mm and Se7en, scripted!

Yes, somehow all of these people joined to make an episode where the alien threat isn’t a hoax and Harvey Korman has flown through the stars to sodomize Jason Lee and Jamie Kennedy.

This is taken from the story “Panic!” in Weird Science #15 — numbered issue four — and it was written and drawn by Al Feldstein. In that story, a radio station replays the show years later and no one panics, but when a real invasion happens, no one pays attention when a Jupiter ship lands.

You can download all of the episodes here or watch this episode on YouTube.

Jessica visits a women’s prison and is held captive when an uprising occurs because of abuse and murder at the facility.

Season 2, Episode 9: Jessica Behind Bars (December 1, 1985)

Tonight on Murder, She Wrote…

Jessica teaches a class for a women’s prison on the day it locks down, and the staff doctor gets killed. She becomes the negotiator between the inmates and the police, trying to solve the crime before the cops arrive.

Who’s in it, outside of Angela Lansbury, and were they in any exploitation movies?

Dixie is played by Margaret Avery, who sure was in The Color Purple, but I’d tell you she’s from Terror House.

Kathryn is Adrienne Barbeau, and if you don’t know her, what are we even doing?

Barbara Baxley is Amanda Debs, also known as Lady Pearl from Nashville.

Miss Springer is Yvonne De Carlo, Lily Munster!

Linda Kelsey plays Mary Stamm. She was in two more episodes of the show and also on Lou Grant.

Janet MacLachlan is Dr. Irene Matthews. She was also in Heart and Souls.

Vera Miles from Psycho and The Searchers is Elizabeth Gates.

Susan Oliver, who played Vina, the green slave girl in Star Trek, is Louise.

Eve Plumb, Jan from The Brady Bunch, is Tug.

Mary Woronov! Yes! She’s Brady.

In smaller roles, Bertha is played by Susan Peretz, Donna Ponterotto is Jamie, Diana Bellamy is the Head Guard, Gay Hagen is the First Guard, Faith Minton is the Second Guard, Jan Stratton is the Gate Guard, and Darlene Conley is Mims. Prisoners are played by Mary Albee, Linda Carlin, Jadie David, Betty Jeanne Glennie, Marilyn Horn, Lorraine Keeling, Kym Washington Longino, Marti Reese and Ilona Wilson, while Reena Bartlett and Cis Rundle play guard.

What happens?

Before Jessica arrived at the prison — and for the 20 years — Amanda Debs has turned being the deputy warden of the West Barrington Institute for Women into a means to accumulate wealth and influence, running a ring of corruption within the prison that includes Dr. Irene Matthews and grocery delivery driver Mrs. Mims. She’s been growing in her power as Warden Elizabeth Gates has been running for state senate.

A new nurse catches on, and Dr. Matthews kills herself — her suicide note says, “I have been thinking about killing myself for some time. I will all my worldly possessions to all the lesbian inmates in this prison.” — and Debs makes it look like a murder, locking everything down, trapping Jessica with her students.

Working with Kathryn, she turns the lights out and also kills Mrs. Mims, then plans to escape before the cops come in. However, Jessica is able to figure that out and saves the day before the cops come in, shooting everyone.

Who did it?

Amanda.

Who made it?

This episode was directed by John Llewellyn Moxey and written by Carleton Eastlake, who mostly wrote for science fiction shows.

Does Jessica get some?

No. I would like to make a sapphic fanfic of this episode, however.

Does Jessica dress up and act stupid?

No. I mean, come on, Jessica.

Was it any good?

Yes. This is a tense one that changes the format.

Any trivia?

The jail is located in The Square of Warriors, also known as Spartacus Square, at Universal Studios Hollywood. Other movies filmed there include Thoroughly Modern Millie, The Blues Brothers, History of the World, Part I, Cloak and Dagger, The Shadow, and The Scorpion King.

Give me a reasonable quote:

Jessica Fletcher: Well, I particularly liked the way the gas station bandit was caught. You know, having the getaway driver accidentally shift into reverse and crash into the police car… Now, that showed a great deal of imagination.

Tug: Not exactly. That’s the way it happened.

What’s next?

Cabot Cove is flooded with poison pen letters, which proves hard for the town to handle as Amos prepares to hand the reins over to a new sheriff. Jason’s mom shows up!