If you’re a writer in a Stephen King story, never ever go home. Nothing good is waiting for you there. Nothing at all. If your home is in New England, just forget about it. In fact, even if you aren’t a writer, don’t go back home. Don’t reunite with your friends. Just be happy with whatever you’ve got.

Originally airing on November 17 and 24, 1979, Salem’s Lot is considered one of the best Stephen King adaptions and some of Tobe Hooper’s finest directorial work.

We open in Guatemala, where Ben Mears (David Soul, TV’s Starsky and Hutch) and Mark Petrie (Lance Kerwin, Enemy Mine) are filling bottle after bottle with holy water until one glows. Whatever they’re chasing — or running from — has found them.

After that open, we go back in time two years, to when Ben moves back to Salem’s Lot, Maine. He’s come back to his hometown to write about the Marsten House, an old haunted house. He pushes his luck even further, learning nothing from fellow writer Roger Cobb in House, and tries to rent it. However, Richard Straker (the superb James Mason), a stranger in town, has already bought it for his business partner Kurt Barlow.

Instead, Ben moves into Eva Miller’s boarding house. Soon, he’s friends with Dr. Bill Norton (Ed Flanders, the TV movie The Legend of Lizzie Borden and TV’s St. Elsewhere), romantically involved with Bill’s daughter Susan (Bonnie Bedelia, Die Hard, Needful Things) and reconnecting with his old teacher, Jason Burke (Lew Ayers, Battle for the Planet of the Apes).

Soon, Ben remembers a traumatic childhood encounter within the Marsten House and comes up with the theory that the house casts a shadow over all of Salem’s Lot. It gets worse when a crate shows up to the house and people begin to die. Both Ben and Straker are suspects, but it’s really Barlow (Reggie Nalder, Mark of the Devil, The Bird with the Crystal Plumage). He’s a vampire that wants to take over the whole town, starting with local boy Ralphie Glick and realtor Larry Crockett (Fred Willard in a rare non-comedic role and I haven’t even gotten to the scene where he has to put a shotgun in his own mouth!).

That’s when this movie really gets frightening. The scene where Ralphie floats outside his brother Danny’s (Brad Savage, Red Dawn) window is harrowing. And when Danny dies, he comes back to kill gravedigger Mike Ryerson (Geoffrey Lewis, Night of the Comet) and goes after Mark Petrie, who we saw in the opening. Luckily, Mark is a horror movie fan and he uses a cross to chase away the young bloodsucker. The way the vampires fly in this movie is really strange looking and was achieved by floating them off boom cranes instead of wires, then playing that footage backward to for an otherworldly effect.

The town is quickly taken over by vampires, with Ben, Burke and Dr. Norton all trying to stop it. Even Ralph and Danny’s dead mother Marjorie (Clarrisa Kaye, who as, at the time, the wife of James Mason) rises from the dead to try and kill everyone but is stopped with a cross. Mark’s parents are killed by Barlow, but a priest helps him escape. And Burke has a heart attack after Mike Ryerson comes back to drink his blood.

Seeking revenge, Mark breaks into the Marsten House. Susan comes to help him, but they are both taken hostage. Mears and Dr. Norton attempt to save them, but Straker kills the doctor by impaling him on antlers. Ben shoots the vampire’s thrall and then he and Mark stake Barlow. They set the house on fire, driving all of the vampires from their hiding places and purifying the town. However, Susan is nowhere to be found.

That’s when we get back to the opening, as the rest of Salem’s Lot’s vampires are still chasing them. Ben finds Susan in his bed, ready to kill him. Instead of kissing her, he impales her with a stake and our heroes go back on the run — a journey that would take them to a planned NBC series that was to be produced by Richard Korbitz and written by Robert Bloch.

There was a loose sequel made in 1987, A Return to Salem’s Lot, that was written and directed by Larry Cohen (not Lawerence). There was also a remake in 2004 that aired on the TNT channel with Rob Lowe as Ben, Donald Sutherland as Straker and Rutger Hauer as Barlow (I wonder how he feels about Anne Rice typecasting him as a vampire).

While this movie is three hours and seven minutes long, it’s an attempt to capture 400 pages of King’s prose (and this is one of his shorter novels). Paul Monash, who produced Carrie and wrote for TV’s Peyton Place was picked to work the novel into a filmable screenplay. One of the most noticeable tweaks is that Barlow is a cultured, well-spoken man in the novel and a Nosferatu-like bestial killer in the movie.

Originally, George Romero was to direct this when it was to be a theatrical movie. He didn’t feel that he could work within the constraints of television censorship. However, Tobe Hooper really succeeded with this effort, despite much of the book’s violence being trimmed. That said, there is a European theatrical version that contains a longer cut of Cully threatening Larry with the shotgun. It was released in Spain as Phantasma II, a supposed sequel to Phantasm!

This is not just one of my favorite King adaptions, but one of my favorite movies. It’s long running time flies by and there are so many iconic moments of fright that it holds up, nearly four decades after it was filmed.

Shudder is celebrating KIng of Horror month throughout May. You can be part of it just by streaming this movie! No need to search for the link — here it is!

Fred Durant is an IRS agent by day, hen-pecked by his overbearing mother and left frustrated by his sexless marriage. Even his breakfast ritual is sad, as he squeezes an orange and stares out the window, wondering why he goes on. He needs a release and if it has to be calling young women up in the middle of the night and unleashing pure filth on them, then so be it!

Yes, in the 1970’s, we lived in a world without caller ID and cell phones, when we had no idea who was on the other side of the phone. In fact, for years a burglar who had stolen my family’s stereo equipment would call back and tell my mother that he could come back at any time. Years later, he would find religion and call her back, asking for forgiveness.

It’s in that world that we find Fred (played by Robert Reed, who will be forever typecast as the dad from the Brady Bunch, but who knows all about playing a man who is hiding a secret). On his way to work, he dreams about kissing the gorgeous woman next to him in traffic, to the point that he completely loses himself and cars beep their horns at him. If only he could feel that way about his wife (Hope Lange, Bronson’s doomed wife in Death Wish)

Directed by Jerry Jameson (Airport ’77, Raise the Titanic and The Bat People and numerous episodes of Murder, She Wrote), we soon realize that Fred is calling the women from his office, who find him sweet and old-fashioned. And while we never get to hear what he’s saying to them, it’s enough that it leaves them so confused that they can’t hang up.

He can’t even bring himself to tell his therapist what’s really going on. Oh, Fred. Your life is such a mess. At least you can get lost in your world of plants and dote on your teenage daughter (Robin Mattson, Are You in the House Alone?, Candy Stripe Nurses). Or get upset when she shows up in a bikini. And throw in that mother (Sylvia Sidney, Damien: The Omen 2 and God Told Me To) and Fred just keeps giving in to his craziness, even if it leads co-workers to wreck their cars and him getting blackmailed by strippers that he has to choke out!

Between this movie and Haunts of the Very Rich, Robert Reed really could bring the acting to small screen movies.

Producer Charles W. Fries has brought us a wide array of films, from Trashin’ to 1987’s Flowers in the Attic and the Lifetime remakes (we did also all three sequels, Petals in the Wind, If There Be Thorns and Seeds of Yesterday on our podcast), Phantom of the Mall: Eric’s Revenge, Troop Beverly Hills, the Spider-Man TV Movies, The Initiation of Sarah and Amicus’ Tales from the Crypt and The Vault of Horror! What an IMDB page! What an arsenal of films to enjoy!

Sadly, this has never been released on DVD. You’re left to the mercy of the grey market and YouTube if you want to see this for yourself.

Ira Levin’s 1972 novel, The Stepford Wives, and the 1975 movie that was based on it are both cultural phenomena. Even the phrase “Stepford wife” has entered into our lexicon. So why did things have to stop after one movie? Luckily, NBC aired this sequel on October 12, 1980.

Whereas the original Stepford wives were androids, the new ones are controlled by drugs and hypnosis. That’s why the town of Stepford has the lowest divorce and crime rate in the U.S. And it’s also what brings reporter Kaye Foster (Shannon Gless, TV’s Cagney and Lacey) to town.

The town is against outsiders, who enjoy the quiet surroundings they live in. And oh yeah, the fact that others than 4 sirens a day to tell them to take their pills, they don’t have to tell their wives to do anything. They’ve become the perfect wives — complaint in all ways.

Kaye meets two other outsiders, Megan Brady (Julie Kavner, Marge Simpson!) and her policeman husband, the dim-witted Andy (Don Johnson, singer of “Heartbeat.” Oh yeah and Miami Vice, A Boy and His Dog and The Magic Garden of Stanley Sweetheart). Unlike the other women in town, Megan is sarcastic (and near caustic at times) to her husband. She becomes Kay’s research assistant.

The Stepford Men’s Association, run by Dale “Diz” Coba (The Andromeda Strain), is in charge of town. They even send Barbara Parkinson (Audra Lindley, Mrs. Roper from Three’s Company) to run her down with her car. Afterward, all she can do is repeat the same words and appears to be controlled.

Meanwhile, Wally the hotel manager (Mason Adams, God Told Me To) confesses that he wants to leave his wife but can’t. She’s been programmed to be someone he no longer wants her to be.

Meanwhile, Andy gets the job with the Stepford Police and we see his wife got through the Stepford process. Soon, she’s wearing a frilly dress, as well as cooking and cleaning with no complaint. As long as she takes her pills and doesn’t drink, all will be well. Kaye sneaks in to watch their initiation ritual and barely escapes with her life.

Kaye then frees Megan by boozing her up. They try to use Wally to escape town, but even though they had already planned on him betraying them, they are still caught. Kaye manages to get a gun and hold Diz at gunpoint while Megan continually rings the siren. As the Stepford Wives overdose on pills, they become violent and attack their men.

Andy returns to help save the day as the women of the town push Diz off a balcony and tear him to pieces as Kaye leaves.

This was directed by Robert Fuest, who also brought us The Abominable Dr. Phibes, Dr. Phibes Rises Again and The Devil’s Rain! It’s not a bad effort, but a lot of his quirkier touches are absent.  Genre vet James MacKrell also shows up (he played Lew Landers in both Gremlins and The Howling).

One of my issues with this movie — and any of the Stepford stores — is that it’s a really simplistic view on feminism. At the risk of mansplaining, I think that women can choose wherever they want to be — in the workforce, at home raising a family, not raising a family, doing all of the above. Or none! By placing the battle between liberated career women and drones who only exist to cook and clean, these stories simplify the very complicated battle of the sexes.

That doesn’t mean I didn’t enjoy this, though! It has some great tension throughout and makes me miss when movies like this would air regularly. This was released on VHS in the 1980’s after Don Johnson’s Miami Vice fame and even retitled Terror in New York when released internationally. In fact, the version I watched on YouTube has a really poor computer graphics title for this that is just dubbed in!

Like most TV movies, this has not been released on DVD. You can find it on the grey market or, as mentioned above, YouTube.

By the way, check out this awesome art for the film by Johnny Pahlsson!

1972. TV movies. Celebrities. The occult. Oh man, when I add up all the elements of the stew that makes up Haunts of the Very Rich and the broth tastes succulent!

Director by Paul Wendkos, who also was behind the supernaturally tinged The Brotherhood of the Bell, Good Against Evil and The Mephisto Waltz, not to mention the 1985 remake of The Bad Seed, the legendary 1975 TV movie The Legend of Lizzie Borden and the Gidget film series (whew!), this is a tasty slab of cathode ray goodness.

Predating Lost by 32 years, the film begins on an airplane where we learn that our cast of characters has all been lured to the Portals of Eden tropical resort for many different reasons. When they arrive, their host Seacrist (Moses Gunn, Detective Turner in Amityville II: The Possession) helps them enjoy paradise. A snake might show up, of course, but no one should be all that worried.

However, a storm breaks out that night and the staff goes away, the food goes bad and the mood goes sour. David and Ellen (Llyod Bridges and Cloris Leachman) think everyone is already dead and in hell. Al (Ed Asner) refuses to believe in anything. Annette (Anne Francis) goes from manic state to manic state before trying to kill herself. Lyle and Laurie (Tony Bill and Donna Mills) just stay in the background. And the priest (Robert Reed)? He abandons everyone for a peyote ceremony with a tribe of natives that bury birth defected children alive.

Originally airing on September 20, 1972, this film is very much of its time. It was shot on the grounds of the Vizcaya Museum and Gardens, which was the winter home of International Harvester vice president James Deering. You can also see this house in the films Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, Airport ’77 and Iron Man 3.

If you enjoyed Fantasy Island but always wondered, “What if this show fucked with people instead of rewarded them?” then this is the movie for you. The double rug pull at the end surprised even me. And the acting is great. You know how you always heard how trapped Robert Reed felt on The Brady Bunch and how he yearned to be a real actor? Watch his final speech in this film and you’ll realize that he was probably right.

This has never been released on DVD, but aired a lot in the 1970’s and was released on VHS. That said, YouTube — and the TV TERRORLAND channel — are your friend. Check it out and let me know what you think.

Vivian Sotherland (Melissa Sue Anderson, Happy Birthday to Me) starts this movie in front of a pentagram, conducting a ritual that will send one of her teachers up in flames and keep her boyfriend David (Patrick Cassidy, brother of Shaun and half-brother of David). Light the black candles, it’s time for witchcraft in the 1980’s suburbs!

Originally airing on February 27, 1981, Rod Holcomb (the Captain America TV movie, as well as episodes of E.R., China Beach and more) directed this occult themed effort that mines the same territory as The Craft, albeit 15 years earlier.

Despite all that Vivian has done for David, he’s bored with her. Or maybe afraid of her. She’s the most popular girl in school with everything she wants. When new girl in school Robin (Mary Beth McDonough from TV’s The Waltons) arrives, David — and Vivian — are both fascinated by her.

Vivian’s parents (Gordon Jump from WKRP in Cincincati and Cathryn Damon from Soap and She’s Having a Baby) live in denial of their daughter’s power. Meanwhile, Robin’s father (Peter MacLean, Squirm) has already moved her far away from her last school as her powers made her an outsider.

Vivian gets her powers from sacrifices to Hecate, whereas former witch Emily Moore (Marion Ross from Happy Days) believes that Robin comes from a long line of witches. There’s an awesome scene here where Vivian’s mom reminds her that she was once a witch and her daughter basically decimates her psyche. There’s also a lot of dark eyeliner and poutiness, so if Vivian her been a student at my high school, I would have totally asked to do her homework and made her mixtapes with lots of Sisters of Mercy, The Cure and Ministry (back when they were a synth band) on them.

I wouldn’t mind that Vivian put Robin’s dad in the hospital or tried to set her house on fire. It’d be a pure teenage love. I mean, I fell head over heels for mean girls all the time who couldn’t set crows loose on their enemies. All they could do was talk down to me!

Basically, this film descends into Little House on the Prarie (Anderson starred on that show as Mary Ingalls) vs. The Waltons (as mentioned above, McDonough was Erin Walton). A wood shop becomes a war zone as the two young women battle one another to the death.

I really love the dichotomy that is set up between the two witches, one who has her power from trickery who only wants corruption and who hates her mother versus a good witch who lost her mother when she was young and who comes from a lineage of witches, with a name that is even filled with strength. The fact that all of this craziness is happening within the soul-crushing boredom of the California suburbs is even better.

The ending — with the burn witch burn line being shouted — is awesome. And dark. And doomy. And perfect.

Plus, stars like Vanna White, Dana Kimmell (Friday the 13th Part 3), Jeff Mackay (Lt. McReynolds from Magnum P.I.), Gary Dubin (Jaws 2) and Jack Garner (who is also in the TV movies This House Possessed and Fantasies) show up.

This movie has never been released on DVD, but you can find it through gray market sources and on YouTube. You should totally check it out!

If you ever wonder why I love my wife so much, I watched this movie, and she walked into the room, sat on the couch and excitedly remarked, “That’s Eileen Heckart!” Yes, Becca loves The Bad Seed, a classic psychological thriller where Heckart’s performance as the mother of a sociopathic child is unforgettable. And she isn’t shy about it.

Director Herschel Daugherty’s directorial efforts run the gamut of TV classics, from Star Trek to Alfred Hitchcock Presents, Thriller and The Six Million Dollar Man. He was even the dialogue director for Mildred Pierce!

Kate Wainwright (Elizabeth Montogomery, who you may know from Bewitched, but around here we celebrate her for her role in The Legend of Lizzie Borden) is coming to visit her sister, but unbeknownst to her, her sister is already dead. She has to deal with the increasingly crazy attention of her sister’s maid, Mrs. Hawkes (Heckart), power outages, and an increasingly frightening storm. We soon learn that her sister already fired the maid and plans to divorce her husband, Ben.

While the film opens with the murder of the sister, the identity of the killer remains a mystery. As we witness Kate’s growing fear, Montgomery’s performance is nothing short of superb, keeping us on the edge of our seats.

The McKnight Malmar story this was based on was first filmed for a 1962 episode of Boris Karloff’s Thriller, ‘The Storm,’ also directed by Herschel Daugherty. The Victim was rewritten by Merwin Gerard and doesn’t stick as close to the original story, but it retains the core elements of the original, including the intense psychological suspense and the theme of a woman in peril.

The ending of this movie is bound to stir up some strong emotions. It might leave you feeling frustrated, or you might find it enjoyable, as it maintains a consistent level of suspense and creepiness throughout.

A rock star has a nervous breakdown and decides to recuperate in a remote house. Yet he finds himself asking, “Am I insane? Or is this house haunted?” Just by reading the title of this movie, I think you know the answer.

Gary Straihorn (Parker Stevenson, former husband to Kirsty Alley and one of TV’s Hardy Boys) has hired a nurse named Sheila (Lisa Eilbacher, Bad Ronald) to help him. The house they settle in seems way too familiar to her, but she can’t remember a lot of her life. Like the fact that she may be named Margaret. But everyone who either screws with her — like Gary’s girlfriend Tanya — or tries to help her, like a woman who gives her some newspaper clippings, all get killed by the house. Can a house fall in love with someone? After you see this, you’ll answer: YES.

There’s a great cast in this as well, including Slim Whitman (The Howling), Joan Bennett (Suspiria and TV’s Dark Shadows), character actor David Paymer, Amanda Wyss (the first person Freddy kills in A Nightmare on Elm Street) and even Philip Baker Hall (Magnolia) shows up in a blink and you’ll miss him role.

This movie was directed by William Wiard (his 1980 TV movie The Girl, The Gold Watch and Everything was a big deal when it came out) and was written by TV writing and producing vet David Levinson. They’d also work together on another TV movie, Fantasies.

This has never been released on DVD. You’re at the mercy of the grey market and YouTube. Trust me, it’s worth it.

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