Imagine The Immoral Mr. Teas, but way after that movie was erotic. Yes, it’s Up Your Alley—also released under titles like Sex or Bust and Bang, Bang, the Mafia Gang—and it’s Art Lieberman’s singular directorial effort, unless you watched the Marilyn Monroe short he made in 1986. I mean, how does a softcore director get to make a movie with Mike Wallace?
Anyhow…
This may have Seymour, who they want to be Woody Allen (Frank Corsentino, whose career is mostly in small TV roles) and the flimsiest of plots, as he accidentally kills a mob boss and takes over the gang. He’s helped by Maria Manina, who not only takes his virginity, but shows him how to be a mafioso. She’s played by Haji, Rosie from Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill! and the scene where she takes off her scarf and disrobes feels like what they should show in church to prove to you that intelligent design is possible.
You also get Luanne Roberts as a Nazi, Somerset native Jeannie Anderson (who was both a zombie in Night of the Living Dead as well as being in John Hayes’ Fandango and Sex Ritual of the Occult), Lynn Harris (The Erotic Adventures of Zorro), Cara Peters (AKA Legs Benedict; she’s also Liz in Massacre Mafia Style under the name Cara Salerno), John Bloom (Al Adamson’s Frankenstein) as mob guy Bruno, Uschi Digard as Spumoni #1, Georgette Dante (Titania from The Exotic Ones) as Spumoni #2, softcore actress Terri Johnson, Monica Gayle (my beloved Patch from Switchblade Sisters) and an appearance by LIFE Magazine Brigette Bardot lookalike contest winner and Ginger star Cheri Caffaro.
The fact that I recognized these people without IMDb means that I am a pervert.
