EDITOR’S NOTE: Vampires On Bikini Beach was on USA Up All Night twelve times: August 11 and 12 and December 22, 1989; June 9, 1990; March 22, April 6, July 27, August 7 and 23, 1991; March 13 and October 24, 1992; March 20 and July 17, 1993.
A couple of teenagers stumble upon a copy of The Book of the Dead, and as is usually the case in these scenarios, this isn’t just some dusty antique. It’s the key to a nefarious vampire cult’s plans to raise the dead and claim global dominion. The stakes are raised (pun intended) when our protagonists, Bob and Kim, find themselves the targets of this undead cabal. The tension plays out against a seaside backdrop where the usual beach-party atmosphere is interrupted by a string of bizarre murders, leading our heroes on a mission to purge the shore of these ghouls before more bikini-clad victims are spirited away into eternal servitude.
Is this as good as Malibu Beach Vampires? Honestly, it can’t get much worse. This has only about two songs on the soundtrack, and we get to see them played live and hear them throughout. It also has a lead villain named Falto. He’s the seventh son of a seventh son and is looking for the lover who cares about him enough to kill him with a stake to the heart. What is this, a Paul Naschy movie?
There’s another bloodsucker named Demos and a good vampire named Gnordron who uses a glowing cross as a weapon, so obviously we all learned the wrong information on the living dead.
Directed and written by Mark Headley, who also made Once Upon a Time in Tombstone, which has an actor named David Lee Hoss in it. I’ve been laughing about that for an hour.
You can watch this on Tubi.
