Week 2 (June 28 – July 4) – Dawna Lee Heising: Our beautiful QWEEN

Director and writer Dustin Ferguson has delivered a film that feels less like a motion picture and more like a collection of stitched-together iPhone-shot action and stock footage. Do you like people walking? How do you feel about underwater footage that appears to have been licensed from Pond 5 rather than shot for the production?

As always, Ferguson assembles a bizarre patchwork of performers, including Brinke Stevens as Dr. Charlene Brinkman (Stevens earning her undergraduate degree in biology from San Diego State University before studying marine biology at the Scripps Institution of Oceanography, none of which helps her here); Dawna Lee Heising as Pamela; Mel Novak — always — as Robert Clouse Williamson and Raymond Vinsik Williams as the hero who enters the ocean armed with what looks like two plastic hamburger patties to defeat the titular predators. He wakes up; it’s all a dream, but then the city is on fire because of a shark so large it appears in the sky.

Somehow, there’s a sequel. For some reason, I will watch it.

You can watch this on Tubi.