July 7-13 Teen Movie Hell Week: From the book description on the Bazillion Points website: All-seeing author Mike “McBeardo” McPadden (Heavy Metal Movies) passes righteous judgment over the entire (teen movie) genre, one boobs-and-boner opus at a time. In more than 350 reviews and sidebars, Teen Movie Hell lays the crucible of coming-of-age comedies bare, from party-hearty farces such as The Pom-Pom Girls, Up the Creek, and Fraternity Vacation to the extreme insanity exploding all over King Frat, Screwballs, The Party Animal, and Surf II: The End of the Trilogy.

Directed by Joan Micklin Silver and written by Robin Schiff, Tom Ropelewski and Leslie Dixon, Loverboy casts future heartthrob Patrick Dempsey as Randy Bodek, a guy slacking through college and living with his girlfriend Jenny (Nancy Valen) when his dad (Robery Ginty!?) calls him home, refusing to pay for school any more.

After getting a job at Senor Pizza, he soon learns that the drivers hook up with customers, which leads to the improbable affair between him and Alex Barnett, played by the angelic Barbara Carrera. All the love notes — and the fact that his son is dressing better — lead Randy’s dad to think he’s gay. 1989, everyone.

Every order for extra anchovies means that Randy will be both sleeping with an older woman and learning how to be a better lover and partner, thanks to them, romancing a series of clients, including Kyoko Bruckner (Kim Miyori), Dr. Joyce Palmer (Kirstie Alley), and Monica Delancy (Carrie Fisher).  The husbands soon learn that this is happening and start to hunt down Randy. One of those husbands is Vic Tayback and there’s also a scene where Randy almost sleeps with his mom Diane (Kate Jackson). What a cast — E.G. Daily and Robert Picardo are also in this.

This being 1989, the fact that everyone thinks Randy is gay saves the day. Of course, he has no male clients. What male escorts sleep with other guys? Right?