Ten Tubi picks of the week (week two)

Tubi can be overwhelming. Allow me to help you find ten movies every week that I think are worth your time. If you have some that you’d like to share, get in touch. I’d love to feature your picks.

1.  Mannaja: A Man Called Blade: TUBI LINK

Blade is a bounty hunter in the Italian Wild West years after the genre has died off, yet Sergio Martino infuses this movie with a horror element and near Conquest level fog to make it one of the weirder cowboy movies you’ll watch. Throw in a prog soundtrack by Oliver Onions for extra bonus coolness.

2. Arabella: Black Angel: TUBI LINK

I love Tubi for the same reason I once loved budget DVD sets sold at brick and mortar stores. They offer a way for truly deranged movies to get seen by people who would never track them down. Right now, an unsuspecting viewer is about to see Arabella and her impotent wheelchair-trapped husband fix their marriage by smashing a cop in the head with a hammer, then making sweet married love right next to his twitching corpse.

3. 10 to Midnight: TUBI LINK

Bronson at his most deranged, aided and abetted and egged on perhaps by an even more lunatic J. Lee Thompson, who pushes the man in a scene where he shoves a sex toy in a criminal’s face and barks “You know what this is for, Warren? It’s for jacking off!” Bleak doesn’t even describe this one. You should probably know that every one of these lists is going to have a Bronson movie on them.

4. Amityville: Mt. Misery Road TUBI LINK

I’ve watched more than thirty Amityville movies, most of which are on Tubi and all of which are on this ever updated list. This one — shot on an iPhone for what had to cost $17 — still baffles me because I’ve watched it so many times that Becca and I can quote it back and forth. Somehow, even after the review, the two-person team that made the film — Chuck and Karolina Morrongiello — consented to this interview which is one of the most meta experiences of my life, because they were extraordinarily kind and I also got to ask burning questions about a movie that may only be obsessed over by two people, Becca and myself. Maybe you too. Maybe I am trying to infect you with a curse by making you watch this.

5. Edge of the Axe TUBI LINK

José Ramón Larraz started his career making movies that mixed sex, art and horror like SymptomsVampyres and The House That Vanished, but by the late 80s he was stuck making direct to VHS slashers. That said, this one combines the slasher that I adore with other things I love, like computers that at once look obsolete and yet do things no computer can do today along with a movie where the exteriors are in California and the interiors are in Spain. Also this has a car wash kill at the beginning that is better than anything else that follows it.

6. Cannibal Ferox AKA Make Them Die Slowly: TUBI LINK

Umberto Lenzi must have taken Ruggero Deodato taking his cannibal king title away seriously. What followed was a movie that seems to want to destroy you and any lack of numbness that you have as a viewer. I can’t claim to love all of this — animal violence is one of my big head turning moments — but I can’t deny Lenzi as a filmmaker.

7. Bach Ke Zara: TUBI LINK

What if Evil Dead moved out of the woods of Michigan and found its way to India? Would you be ready for it? You better be, because this movie exists, it’s on Tubi and I just gave you the link.

8. Sorceress: TUBI LINK

Leigh and Lynette Harris play twin sisters who battle a giant woman’s head with the help of a flying lion and man, Jack Hill took his name off this as director because Corman wouldn’t pay for Sid Haig to be in it. If Tubi is our mom and pop video store, this movie has a big clamshell calling your name.

9. Invasion U.S.A.: TUBI LINK

I wish that Joe Zito and Chuck Norris never had a falling out because this movie needed so many sequels. I also feel like Richard Lynch is the dark side of William Smith in my world and all movies need more William Smith and Richard Lynch. This is the best movie ever inspired by Reader’s Digest.

10. Voyage of the Rock AliensTUBI LINK

Could they make a musical about aliens, rock and roll and have Michael Berryman play a slasher killer? They could. They did. This is why Tubi is astounding because you can’t get this on blu ray but can watch it right now.

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