Meatball Machine (2005)

Yūdai Yamaguchi keeps showing up on our site, but when you make movies like Battlefield Baseball and Versus, you get as many entries as you want.

Based on the 1999 film written, produced and directed by Jun’ichi Yamamoto (who co-directed this) and featuring effects by Yoshihiro Nishimura (Kataude Mashin GâruKyûketsu Shôjo tai Shôjo Furanken), this film has two geeky would-be lovers who never really get together, as Sachiko ends up penetrated not by Yōji, but by the NecroBorg in his room. Instead of the love that they wanted to experience, they must battle to the death, and by battle to the death, I mean a war that explodes viscera and blood and meat and organs all over the place.

As a kid, I always dreamed of getting to transform into something better, like Ultraman, but the reality would probably be that I’d be one of these gory creations, battling for the joy of some high pitched alien floating in space that can’t wait to eat me.

This isn’t the kind of movie I’d watch on a first date, unless you’ve found a partner that likes movies that have ten minute long grossout fights and try to make Tetsuo into something directed by Herschell Gordon Lewis. And if you find them, keep that unicorn and treat them like the magical and special royalty they assuredly are.

You can watch this on Tubi.


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