Remember when they had crabs in the grocery store and you’d stare at them in wonder until realizing that people were going to bring them home and boil them while they were still alive? Yeah, your childhood can die pretty quick.

Don’t expect something out of Guy N. Smith’s crab novels. No, this is by the same people who brought you Flipper, Jack Cowden and Ricou Browning (yes, the man who was The Creature from the Black Lagoon). Do expect to spend much of this movie’s running time waiting to see the creature and not getting to see as much of it as you’d like.

I mean, if you’re going to spend $1 million on the crab, show the crab.

Why would you, as a scientist, test groth hormone on a crab? I used to date a professor who was famous within insect study circles for the research she had published about how bug brains act as radio wave receivers. She’d often cut open their heads, dye their brains and then research how they acted. I would tell her the dangers of experimenting on insects and messing with nature, as she didn’t grow up with a steady diet of 1950’s science fiction and 1970’s ecological horror movies. So if the bugs ever come, cut our heads open and experiment on us, you can blame her.

Also, all of that paragraph is much more exciting than Island Claws.

You can watch this on YouTube.