EDITOR’S NOTE: The I Hope You Suffer podcast said that “Since everybody is doing these movie challenges now, we made the only one worth doing.” Bring the pain.
Steve Rudzinski directed CarousHELL and CarousHELL 2so I’m giving him a pass on this one, because we all have an Amityville movie in us somewhere and hey, at least he made one that defies the mold. Along with co-writer Bill Murphy, he’s telling the story of Wally Griswold (Rudzinski), the same character he plays in the Meowy the cat series of movies.
Wally has won a trip over the holidays to Amityville and to stay overnight at a Christmas-themed bed and breakfast which is, you guessed it, the former home of the Lutz and DeFeo families. He falls in love with someone else in the house who ends up being a ghost, a fact that he is absolutely clueless about and we have a combination Amityville and Hallmark Christmas romantic comedy all at the same time.
Ben Dietels from Neon Brainiacs is in it and it’s only fifty minutes long. These are both quite good reasons to watch this movie. It’s fully aware of how silly it all is without being so in on the joke that it gets lame. It’s also relatively family safe with none of the usual insanity of these movies. I’m just happy that it’s a real movie, that it’s fun and that I got to watch it.
You can watch this on Tubi or order it from the filmmaker.
EDITOR’S NOTE: The I Hope You Suffer podcast said that “Since everybody is doing these movie challenges now, we made the only one worth doing.” Bring the pain.
Directed by Mark Polonia, who has been to Amityville before with Amityville Island, Amityville Exorcism and Amityville Death House, and co-written by Polonia and Aaron Drake, this brings back Father Benna (Jeff Kirkendall) from Amityville Exorcism and begins with a final battle against the darkness within the house on 112 Ocean Avenue. The demon inside cuts off the priest’s hand and in pain, the holy man begs for God to help him. His prayers are answered as the house is blasted into not only space, but the far future.
I mean, I’m here for all of this. You know how I am about Amityville, not to mention horror sequels set in space.
The moment that I knew I would love this movie is when the space ship that finds the Amityville house floating within a black hole, we see the crew contains a robot named Vox. Said robot’s costume looks like a silver foil welding suit version of Wildfire from the Legion of Super-Heroes. That’s topped by this film’s version of the demon, which looks like a Spirit store version of a final boss from a Mortal Kombat ripoff game from 1993.
Additionally, this movie is amazing because it’s just as much sub-budget Event Horizon as it is an Amityville film and once I realized that, my heart grew 666 times.
If you can’t get into a movie being made in a small town in Pennsylvania with foil covering the windows to simulate a starship, as well as a giant priest battling an enormous demon outside of a black hole with a glowing pentagram between them, why are you even watching movies?
Also: I did some science research. This movie has its vessel doing Dark Star work sending nukes into black holes. I found the answer, of course, on Reddit. One answer said that “All that happens as a consequence of the bomb exploding is in the future light cone of the detonation event, which is all inside the black hole.”
Someone asked the same question on Quora and the answer there by Shane Kennedy was “Nothing. Even if it did explode, the energy released in a “nuke” explosion is irrelevant compared to the energy in a black hole. The chances are that it would just be torn apart without exploding.”
This answer by Hardik Prajapati gets super scientific: “Blackholes are spheres with very very high gravitational force. Even light can not escape that force. So even if the bomb explodes, we won’t be able to observe it. Blackholes are made from high density neutron star. You can’t expect a black hole to be destroyed just by an explosion of nuclear weapon.
Bomb explosion would release a huge amount of energy (assuming it reaches the “surface” of a blackhole and explodes). Blackhole treats energy and mass equally. So it will absorb all the energy released by the bomb.
Lets assume we throw the bomb at event horizon. Time is slow there, much much slower then in our normal world. So before the bomb reaches the center, we might have passed 100s or 1000s of earth years. So if you are the person to drop the bomb, you probably wouldn’t be the person to observe it when it explodes. Fascinating, isn’t it?”
Finally, this answer by Christopher Barnes says it best: “Not much. Black holes absorb nuclear explosions already – they’re called “stars.” You’d add a bit more nuclear fire and a bit more radiation to an environment that’s already fairly rich in both, to a net result of precisely dick.”
I’m not watching Mark Polonia movies for science. I’m watching them to be entertained. If a Satanic house can fly through space and take over an advanced civilization a thousand years after Earth is no more, who am I to discuss matters of physics when all I really know are shot on video and Italian ripoffs?
EDITOR’S NOTE: The I Hope You Suffer podcast said that “Since everybody is doing these movie challenges now, we made the only one worth doing.” Bring the pain.
Jackie (Natalie Peri, who is also in Amityville Conjuring) and Danny (Paul Faggione, who played John Gotti in a series of documentaries and is also in a movie called Bad Ravioli, so you can expect exactly what he does, speaking in an exaggerated Italian accent) are having Thanksgiving at an intensive therapy session with Amityville’s best — and not only, believe it or not — marriage counselor Frank Domonico (Mark C. Fullhardt, who is also in Amityville Conjuring, so…it looks like I’ll have to watch that as well). The doctor has some strange ways of bringing couples together, although it seems like he wants to have sex with Jackie more than fix her marriage.
Yes, this is both a Thanksgiving and an Amityville movie and man, that means that I was duly bound to watch it. I mean — just look at this Amityville list of films I’ve already made it through.
Directed and written by Will Collazo Jr. (Bloody Nun, Night of the Zomghouls, Ouija Encounters of the Third Kind, Mothman: Mount Misery Road and yes, the upcoming Amityville Conjuring) has kind of, sort of assembled this movie from disparate scenes and several solo actors just filmed on their phones. Seriously, the film ends way before it actually ends and people just talk about events that happened within or after the story and there’s no reason at all for them being there.
Yet you know, to make an Amityville movie about Thanksgiving and not have it really about either and instead an excuse for old men with thick New York accents about having rough sex with other men’s wives is pretty much a genius concept. It also has Shawn Phillips and David Perry as a male couple that has the same marriage issues as everyone else.
I was going to say I have no idea who this is for, but I know that the answer is me. I’m the same kind of jerk that will write thousands of words saying how creatively bereft a movie like Smile is and then watch every single Amityville movie and if sixteen year old me knew that, he would be so happy with how things turned out.
Also: marriage counselor who puts the seed of a demon into women he’s steered into leaving their husbands and then eating them — as well as killing their marriage counselor competition — is the kind of career path no one tells you about. Cannibal Marriage Counselor is also not as good a title as Amityville Thanksgiving.
The SRS Cinema DVD of Amityville Thanksgiving has a commentary by director and writer Will Collazo Jr., an interview with the lead actor, a trailer and trailers for other SRS Cinema movies. You can get this from MVD.
EDITOR’S NOTE: The I Hope You Suffer podcast said that “Since everybody is doing these movie challenges now, we made the only one worth doing.” Bring the pain.
The true Amityville curse is that I must watch all of these films. Just look at this ever-expanding article and Letterboxd list.
Has everything been done in the world of 112 Ocean Avenue?
Director Shawn C. Phillips and writer Julie Anne Prescott say no and also want to speak to your manager.
Just look at this line: “Every neighborhood has a Karen and Amityville is no exception.”
Karen (Lauren Francesca) is so cold and mean to people that she insults them in her sleep. Her latest target is a local winery (run by James Duval!). After getting service that isn’t to her liking, she takes a bottle of wine. A bottle of cursed wine. I mean, this is Amityville after all.
That said, this movie may not need to be an hour and forty-five minutes. It could get tighter, but that said, it does have a death by corkscrew, which is always something that I enjoy in a film.
Somehow, the movie slides into an underground occult circle within the town — it’s Amityville, come on, be open — as well as female demons which means that yes, this movie may not have foreign investors demanding nudity but it has nudity all the same.
This is Phillips’ first solo film and he was wise to get Francesca as his lead. She’s really great in the role and is understated when you expect this to be out of control the whole time. The film nearly gets her to be a sympathetic figure if she wasn’t abusing everyone around her nearly all the time.
If you watch a lot of direct to streaming and disk horror, you’ll recognize a lot of the cast, including Jennifer Nangle, Caleb Thomas, Ashleeann Cittell, Derek K. Long, Marc Pearce, Mike Ferguson and Dawna Lee Heising.
I think what this movie needs are some fun taglines for the poster, however. So I will attempt to write a few in the hopes that they get used for the sequel:
For God’s sake, she wants to speak to your manager.
She’s so haunted that it’s unacceptable.
Do not lose her business.
All lives no longer matter.
Bleached. Bobbed. Possessed.
She demands death. And an apology.
I wait to see where Amityville movies go from here and raise you Amityvid-19, Make Amityville Great Again and Critical Amityville Theory.
EDITOR’S NOTE: The I Hope You Suffer podcast said that “Since everybody is doing these movie challenges now, we made the only one worth doing.” Bring the pain.
One year after Amityville Scarecrow, Tina (Amanda Jade-Tyler) and Mary (Kate Sandison) are about to reopen the camp from the first movie, but there could be some evil still lurking about. In England. Not in New York. Yes, Amityville gets like that.
Directed by Craig McLearie (The Killing Tree) and written by Adam Cowie, the beginning of this movie is well shot and made me think that I was actually going to get a quality Amityville movie. Then, the talking begins and never seems to end and the Amityville Scarecrow never really does anything.
This movie is about trailer parks and the legal dealings of trailer parks and you know, I kind of want my Amityville movies to not be about human affairs but whatever. It’s better than the first one, but that’s like being constipated for a few days and then having non-stop diarrhea. They’re both bad and you don’t want go through them, but at least it’s some level of change.
I mean, I’m not going to stop pooping. And I’m not going to stop watching Amityville movies.
3. BLURRING THE LINES: Magical realism is the key for today’s witnessing.
Dora (Dora Postigo) has been raised by her father Diego (Hovik Keuchkerian) but has always heard that she looks nothing like him and everything like her mother Piral. Yet she has no memories and asks her father for his. She decides to seek out her mom and learn where she came from.
This brings her to a hospital where she meets her grandmother Maribel (Carmen Machi) and her lover Coco (Carmen Maura), who is married to the richest man in Capital City, whose coma is interrupted with a bullet and the blame is placed on Dora.
The journey that Dora takes is much like this film’s inspiration, The Wizard of Oz, only the scarecrow character, Muneco (Ayax Pedrosa), is a skinny drug abuser and Jose (Luis Bermejo) is a man in a grey suit driving a silver car. And there’s also a lion as well as a frightened man who goes by the name of Akin (Wekaforé Jibril).
I like the idea that when Dora hears music the world hears it with her, but there’s so much in this movie, too much, and it just seems to meander around when you want it to fly. At least Toto looks super cute and that’s a big part of this story, at least to me.
I know what director Paco León is going for and I wish he hit his lofty goal. But this just takes the ideas of the story and kind of seems like it takes forever to get somewhere, anywhere.
VCI and MVD have released both the original TV movie — which Donald Guarisco says is “…one of the best made-for-television horror films ever made!”– on 4K UHD and blu ray as a set. Extras include a Dark Night of the Scarecrow commentary by Heath Holland of Cereal at Midnight, Robert Kelly and Amanda Reyes; another commentary track for the original film by J.D. Feigelson and Frank DeFelitta; a commentary on the sequel by Feigelson; a featurette on the original film; a cast reunion; two CBS commercials and a behind-the-scenes gallery. You can get it on blu ray or 4K UHD from MVD.
Dark Night of the Scarecrow (1981): Originally airing on October 24, 1981, Dark Night of the Scarecrow was directed by Frank De Felitta, who wrote Audrey Rose and TheEntity. It was originally intended to be an independent film, but was bought by CBS.
Somewhere in the Deep South, a mentally challenged giant named Charles Eliot “Bubba” Ritter (Larry Drake) becomes friends with a young girl named Marylee Williams. This being a small town, people start to talk, with postman Otis Hazelrigg (Charles Durning) being the loudest of them.
When Bubba saves Marylee from a dog attack, Otis believes that the simple man really caused the damage. He gathers a posse to hunt him down, but Bubba’s mom has hidden him in the field as a scarecrow. But that doesn’t stop bloodhounds from finding him and the four men form a firing squad, killing the man with no trial.
Of course, Marylee is alive and Bubba should be the hero, but the four men lie in court, claiming he tried to kill them with a pitchfork. Marylee refuses to believe her friend is gone and slowly, the rest of town discovers that she might be right, as the scarecrow keeps showing up to frighten the guilty men.
Otis knows he’s guilty and believes that Bubba’s mom is behind all of this, so he tries to intimidate her. She is so shocked by him that she has a heart attack and he sets her home on fire. He starts wiping out everyone who could connect him of the crime before finally coming after Marylee.
I love how this film ends, with Otis running from a plowing machine and the very tool that he used to blame Bubba being part of his demise. Does Bubba return? I also really love that the film kind of leaves that decision up to you.
Bonus: You can listen to us discuss this on our podcast.
Dark Night of the Scarecrow 2 (2022): J.D. Feigelson wrote the screenplay for the TV movie Dark Night of the Scarecrow more than forty years ago and now, it’s finally time for a sequel. This time, he both directed and wrote the film, whereas the original was directed by Frank De Felitta (the writer of Z.P.G., Audrey Rose, The Entity, Scissors and more, as well as the director of Killer in the Mirror, Trapped and The Two Worlds of Jennie Logan).
Can it measure up to a film that many see as a true classic?
Chris Rhymer (Amber Wedding) and her young son Jeremy (Aiden Shurr) have recently moved to a small town in Stubblefield County. Their very arrival is a mystery to the close-knit town; after all why would someone move from the big city to their little town and be content to work in a country store?
While Chris tries to build a new life, Jeremy grows closer to the older woman who watches him after school every day named Aunt Hildie (Carol Dines) and also begins speaking to an imaginary friend that he refers to as Bubba. Chris is losing track of everything in her life and finds herself confiding in the worn scarecrow in the field, telling it all the secrets of her life while placing a flower in its lapel, a flower that’s returned to her as she sleeps.
Meanwhile, it turns out that Hildie is using Jeremy to reach the spirit hidden within the scarecrow, just as Chris’ past comes back with tragic results, as it turns out that Chris was in witness protection and she’s been found.
Unfortunately, while the movie attempts to remind us of the first film, it in no way can match it or even add to it. Whereas the original only hinted that perhaps something supernatural was happening, the sequel fully invests in the idea that Bubba is inside the scarecrow. I don’t expect that past cast to come back — most of them died in that film and are also sadly no longer with us — but I have such a strong feeling and adoration for the original that this feels like an unwanted hanger-on.
I wanted to love this movie. Sadly, it fell quite far from the mark. It may have had a lower budget than the 1981 TV movie. I tried not to judge it against that film, but as I said, it’s a classic, a TV film that makes the most of its budget with effective filmmaking and assured direction.
Hoping to find a cure to the disease that is destroying him from within, The Professor follows Agatha on a strange and risky journey into a forgotten but not entirely deserted urban wasteland. Sure, that’s the logline, but this film makes getting there so different, so trippy and so intense.
Kelly Bigelow and Roland Becera did just about everything in this movie from directing, writing, editing, costumes, casting, effects and animation. It’s a truly singular work that presents an ever-evolving series of images that creates a dark mood while presenting what it calls “the disintegration of nature, institutions and people.”
It’s more a series of imagery and tone than an actual narrative film, so if that’s what you’re expecting, well…then this just isn’t going to work for you. If you’re feeling adventurous, however, this movie has a rewarding look and feel. It’s like exploring a series of dark paintings and nearly falling through them, unsure if what you’re seeing is either live action or animation or something in the middle.
I watched Agatha at Pigeon Share FrightFest. It’s the UK’s best, brightest, and largest independent international thriller, fantasy, and horror film festival and has three major events each year in London and Glasgow. Learn more at the official site.
Join CFF as we take a journey into the longer side of short cinema. One of the many joys of presenting our festival in a hybrid format is that it allows us to include so many amazing films that our time limitations during our in-person days wouldn’t allow, and it also gives us the freedom to program more short work with running times 15 minutes and above. It can be challenging for festivals to make longer short films work when space in blocks is limited, and we’re grateful that our two-volume Fun Size Epics block gives us a chance to share an exceptional group of films that pack more world-building and storytelling in their run times than some features can manage.
Spiral to the Center (2023): It feels like this movie was made just for me. Rick Danford (co-director, co-writer and musician Scott Ampleford) reviews records on his web channel. When he discovers a band he’s never heard of before called Raven’s Knowe, he soon learns that there’s an entire label of this strange music and twelve more records, as well as a history of people who have lost their minds in the search for all of this occult powered vinyl.
Ampleford created all of the music for this — which you can listen to here — saying that he “steeped myself in the music of the 1970s, listening to Prog Rock, Krautrock, New Age and beyond.” By the time the story gets to its close — with the director (Alisa Stern, who co-wrote and co-directed) of the documentary within the movie begging Rick to give up — you’ll wish this was a full-length film.
Go out of your way to find this movie. It’s incredible. If you’ve ever hunted for bands or sought out something that no one else knows, you’ll feel all of this.
Amos’ Bride (2024): Directed by Yukako Fujimori and written by Harlow Brooks, this is the story of Rebecca (Valerie Loo), a sixteen-year-old girl who wants to escape her hometown. The difference between her and nearly every other young woman is that she was born and raised in the Chosen Colony, a cult that worships the prophet Amos. She’s in love with Amos’ son, but when she’s selected to be the prophet’s latest bride, they both decide to escape. The problem? Amos has already possessed her. This looks and plays great with a folk horror vibe that demands to be revisited with a full-length film.
The Dumpster Dive (2023): Directed by Laura Asherman, who wrote it with Anca Vlasan, this has cockroach news hosts Howard Scourge and Madison Von Vermin reporting on how microplastics could have dire consequences for the human race. A mix between sketch comedy and documentary, this has experts reporting on how we got to where we are with microplastics, illustrated by puppets, animation and — yes, you knew it — live cockroaches. It’s a spoonful of sugar to get down the bitter pill that is the way that we’ve decimated the environment.
Honk (2023): Directed and written by Charles de Lauzirika, this film has Zach Galligan and Tyler Mane in it, which ups the star power. That wouldn’t matter if it didn’t tell a strong story and it totally does. Reluctant divorcee Bill (Galligan) is awakened before dawn by a mysterious car horn in his normally quiet neighborhood. He tries to find it yet starts to uncover something even more horrifying. This film — while short — gets across the power of grief and how hard it is to let go. I didn’t particularly like the ending, but when everything up until that point was of such a high quality, I didn’t dwell on it. I’d love to see how this could be expanded.
HOT SODA (2023): Outraged over the approval to double the fracking operations devastating her hometown, Meg (Tuisdi Layne) is forced by her sick father Jack (Aeron Macintyre) to serve the fracking company owners Todd and Leonard (John T. Woods and Jonathan Wiggs). Instead of letting this opportunity go, she serves them spaghetti and soda that’s been laced with drugs. Soon, the pasta has come to life and may change the future of this small town and the restaurant that has been a part of it. Directed and written by Nello DiGiandomenico, this hit home for me, literally. My small Western Pennsylvania hometown has been torn to pieces by fracking and I also grew up miles from East Palestine, OH, another small place screwed up by big business. Well made! You can learn more at the official site.
Redcoat (2023): A young, recently widowed mother-to-be named Christine (Mallory Ivy) — living in the midst of the Revolutionary War — makes a deal with the enemy to escape her abusive brother. Directed and written by Michaela Hounslow, this has such a gorgeous look and gets so much done in its twenty minute running time. I loved that this film took a time in history that hasn’t been much explored in recent film and created a female-centric story about survival and persisting in the face of male oppression. Jonathan Bouvier and Allen Harbold are quite good in this and the scenery is nearly a character in and out of itself, making this feel as if you really are part of the past.
Caller 102: A Ballad of Cyberspace (2023):When Kevin (Josh Brener) hacks his way into a radio contest, he gets hit with a power surge. That isn’t an accident. He soon discovers that everything he believes about the new cyberspace world of the future (which is today) is true. Directed and written by Turner Barrowman and Jack Goldfisher, this does so much with sound design and imagination, making your mind fill in some of the gaps where the budget can’t go. I love that this starts with trivia contest and ends with near armageddon. I’d love to see more of this world. Where else can it go? I hope that this filmmakers find out and share with us.
We Need Some Space (2023): Can an invasion from space be the metaphor for a breakup? This movie says absolutely. A young, dysfunctional couple struggles to define the future of their relationship — we need some space never seems to end up positive, does it? — all while being followed by a UAP. Directed and written by Ian Geatz and Antonio Zapiain Luna, this reminds me that the only thing more frightening than being probed is falling out of a relationship.
Dumpster Archaeology (2023): Self-proclaimed “Dumpster Archeologist” Lew Blink goes dumpster diving and finds the true stories that have been left in the trash. He alone is able to connect the dots and put together the puzzle in the refuse. To you, this is garbage. To him, this is a mystery made up of material possessions that people decided they no longer wanted. Directed by Dustie Carter, this doc makes me wonder how much of this is stalking or an invasion of privacy, but then when you spend a few moments with Lew through this film, you start to understand and love his outlook. I wonder what Lew would think of my life by looking through my trash? You can learn more about Lew on his official site.
Seraphim (2022):When Jude’s (Erin Reynolds) family is chosen to carry out a suicide bombing for the biblically-accurate angel that they are harboring in their attic and her sister Gloria (Aspen K Somers) is chosen as a modern day prophet, Jude struggles with the ramifications of what it really means to be an agent of God. Directed by Oscar Ramos and written by Joanna Fernandez, this has an angel that is just as frightening in vision as the ones in the actual Bible. This is such a strong idea and I loved every moment. It’s true horror with the idea that an instrument of God doesn’t want peace but instead commands its followers to sacrifice others.
Cotton Candy Sky (2023): Directed and written by Michael Curtis Johnson, this feels like a slice out of Southern modern gothic life. It actually feels a lot like my Western Pennsylvania hometown, a place where there’s not much to do but drink, if you’re lucky, or get into drugs if you’re not. The longer I’m away, the more I see it in a much rosier way. But that’s also because I live far away and only experience it in moments and not a lifetime. This movie hit me because of that. It feels real.
Villa Mink (2024): Directed by Darron Carswell, who wrote the script with Douglas Wells Jr., this is “at once a study of time and space, penetrating examination of distorted male identity, and visual exploration of the enduring legacies of the mythical Western frontier.” It traces Rudy Ford as he drives across the vast exteriors of the Kansas landscape, exploring the flatlands and a roadside motel, waiting to find others in dives and bring them back for a moment of some physical connection despite feeling emotionally away from the world. As Modest Mouse once said, “This Is A Long Drive For Someone With Nothing To Think About.”
Get Me Off This Fucking Planet Quincy: A pair of land barons from 19th century Mars find themselves the brunt of a cosmic joke after the sudden suicidal Rapture of their slave workforce who has just learned that Heaven is on Earth. Shot in a way that feels like a sitcom, this short by director and writer John Yost is just plain obtuse and I mean that in a very nice way. It spends more time world building than most full length movies. But man, it’s weird for me so imagine what that entails.
CFF ended a few weeks ago and I’m still getting caught up. You can visit my Letterboxd list of watches to see what else I’ve covered.
Join CFF as we take a journey into the longer side of short cinema. One of the many joys of presenting our festival in a hybrid format is that it allows us to include so many amazing films that our time limitations during our in-person days wouldn’t allow, and it also gives us the freedom to program more short work with running times 15 minutes and above. It can be challenging for festivals to make longer short films work when space in blocks is limited, and we’re grateful that our two-volume Fun Size Epics block gives us a chance to share an exceptional group of films that pack more world-building and storytelling in their run times than some features can manage.
Dark Mommy (2023): Based on an episode of the Please Leave podcast, this is all about Ben, the only night shift 911 operator in his small town, which mainly means that he deals with prank callers and drunks. However, this is the night that Dark Mommy has arrived and has plans for everyone in town. It all starts with a frightening phone call and gets even more intense.
Directed by Courtney Eck, who wrote this film with James Gannon, this looks stellar. My main issue was the end, as it seems like it jumps from the night of the Dark Mommy rising and then jumps right to the aftermath. It moves so quickly that I had to go back a few times as I was sure I missed something.
Madame Hattori’s Izakaya (2022): Directed and written by Shanna Fujii, this thriller is about a chef and those who are permitted to attend her very private dinners. Shot in Arizona, this film was a collaboration between restaurants, chefs, filmmakers and the Asian community. Featuring food made by chefs Nobuo Fukuda, Paulo Im, Justin Park, Kevin Rosales and Tyka Chheng and shot at Nanaya Japanese Kitchen, this also has nails from Slain Studios and was sponsored by Sapporo and Crescent Crown Distributing.
Fujii had over thirty artists all collaborating on this film and all of the info above wouldn’t mean much if it wasn’t so interesting. And it is. It answers an intriguing question: How can a chef become so well known when she has never eaten food in her life?
The Garden of Edette (2023): In this Creole Southern gothic, Edette (Gwendolyn Fuller Mukes) may be an elderly woman, but she will live forever as long she keeps luring in victims for her flesh-eating garden. Her next victim will be a young girl named Perri (Mandysa Brock), except that Edette finds herself growing closer to her, feeling a kinship. Now, she must choose between betraying her friend and dying alongside her garden. Directed by Guinevere Fey Thomas, who wrote it with Chiara Campelli and Melisande McLaughlin, this looks incredible and tells a unique story that you don’t find all that often in horror. You can learn more at the official site.
Eyes Like Yours (2023): A hospice nurse remembers her long dead mother when she sees the eyes of one of her patients. She becomes devoted to the patient and starts to use her to recreate her mother, at least in her own mind. Directed and written by Gabrielle Chapman, this has excellent acting by Penelope Grover as Dawn, Lex Helgerson as Alison, Lynnsey Lewis as Isla and Ashlee Weber as the idealized version of the mother that the film keeps returning to. So many of the films that I watched this week at CFF dealt with the loss of a parent or trying to recapture their love. Each went in their own direction and this one has an intriguing physical direction.
Volition (2023): After getting kidnapped and taken to a sex trafficking house, Emma (writer Emily James) brings together all the victims of the house, as well as past people who lives have been harmed, to create an escape plan and get revenge. Directed by Ashley George, this film’s villain Christoph (Zachary Grant) is the kind of horrible human being that you can’t wait to see get what they deserve. Good news. This is a short so you don’t have to wait long. For the budget and the running time, this pulls off tension and action well.
INKED (2023): Directed and written by Kelsey Bollig — who also made another short I enjoyed, Kickstart My Heart — INKED is about Dylan (Kaikane, Night of the Bastard), whose father has just died in prison. His friends were angry that she didn’t have a priest at the funeral, but from what she knew of him, she figured he wouldn’t want that. Instead. she honors him with a new tattoo from her friend Bruno (Chris Cortez) using his ashes. Yet that ink sears into her skin, keeping her awake at night and asleep during the day, bathing her dreams in violent red hues and letting something evil loose. The end of this comes suddenly, but I loved this short and it would make for an even better long form feature.
Floater (2023): When their abusive father (Jeffrey Nordling) dies in the bathroom, Phillip (Jacob Wysocki) and Melanie (Darcy Rose Byrnes) both deal with the loss in very different ways. While his sister and mother (Christine Elliott) do their best to deal with their grief, he preserves the last thing that he has of his father, his last bowel movement which is able to speak to him, telling him that he wants to fix things. Phillip locks himself into the bathroom and refuses to allow anyone else in. The first project by director and writer D.M. Harring, this may have some disgusting moments, but its heart understands the pain of grief.
You’ll probably never see another movie where a son builds a memorial to his father and creates a doll out of his feces. That may not sound like a strong review, but it is. This has real emotion inside every second.
Mort (2023): A mortician named Mr. Underwood (Andy Farmer) and his timid new assistant Lane (Josh Bernstein) have to stop the Lancasters, a family that nearly everyone hates and for good reason, from freaking out when their patriarch Mort (Les Lannom) becomes a zombie and walks away. From Pastor Tim (T Brown) farting in people’s faces to the way the entire family behaves, this feels like my hometown. Except for the zombies, but I did grow up next to Evans City Cemetery where Barbara had them coming to get her. Directed and written by Charlie Queen, this is a fun take on the zombie film. Mort even knows how to do the neck bite from Dawn of the Dead.
Up On the Housetop (2023): The Holloway kids — Olivia (Kayla Anderson), Dylan (Samantha Holland), Donnie (Michael Fischer) and Todd (Dakota Millett) — weren’t looking forward to the holidays after the death of their parents. They’re going to hate the season even more now because — spoiler warning — they accidentally murder Santa Claus on Christmas Eve, thinking that he’s a robber. Now, they’re going to be lucky if they survive this Silent Night with deadly reindeer demanding revenge.
Directed by Dakota Millett and Michael Fischer, who wrote it with Laura Herring, this really does have it all. By all, I mean killer reindeer POV camera, baseball bats covered with holiday lights, a Mario Bava-esque image of a roof filled with reindeer and…this really needs to be a full length film. I don’t think I can ask Santa for that.
Robbie Ain’t Right No More (2023): Sarah (Madeleine McGraw, The Black Phone) used to be close to her brother Robbie (Jadon Cal, Last of the Grads). Over dinner and dealing with the loudmouth Andy (Walker Trull), he reveals the scars all over his body from warfare. What no one can see are the scars that exist in his psyche.
Directed and written by Kyle Perritt, who served as a Marine, this soon has the family discussing what’s wrong with Robbie, from his father Vernon (Jason Davis) saying that his son isn’t right no more and his mother Peggy (Emily Deal) feels useless. As for Robbie, he tells his sister that he feels like someone else is driving him now.
This feels like Deathdream and The Guest, which are high compliments. While this short seems to tell the complete story, this has enough power to be its own full-length film. Perritt has plenty of talent and I can’t wait to see what’s next.
I did see some reviews of this that criticized the short for starting in the middle of the story and not explaining what Robbie was like before. To me, that’s what’s thrilling here. We’re thrust in the middle of the story and must figure it out just as Sarah must.
Good Girls Get Fed (2023): Rose (Kelly Lou Dennis), Daffodil (Kayla Klein) and Iris (Paula Velasquez) are trapped inside a windowless room, given silent commands that are written on a wall. If they answer these challenges, they get the food that they need to survive.
The time in captivity may feel like it’s driven them against one another, but they know that if they work together, they can escape. Yet is there something even worse waiting?
Directed by Kelly Lou Dennis, who wrote this short with Kayla Klein and Sarah Rebottaro, this finds whoever is giving the commands to often just be fixated on the male gaze. At other times, it is using what the women have the most trauma with and playing it against them. Even how they’re dressed is a man’s fantasy.
I don’t want to spoil this but the end is total nihilism. Wow.
Lost Boys Pizza (2023): On Halloween, two theater kids head off to dance. As you can tell by the title, they find vampires there. One, a turned enemy from high school distracted with a bloody tampon and then Dracula himself on the dance floor. Directed by Cassie Llanas and written by Tatjana Vujovic, this looks beautiful and would probably be a ton of fun to watch with an audience. As it was, I can only dance so much in my living room before the neighbors start to notice.
The Kindness of Strangers (2023): Stacy (Nell Nakkan) and Anna (Angela Jaymes) are out driving around on a night back home from college. A woman (Tammie Baird) seems to be in shock and they agreed to take her to a hospital. Yet there’s something horribly wrong with her that will change this night for both of them. It’ll also make you question if there is such a thing as a helpful person. Directed by Stu Silverman, who wrote this short with Kathryn Douglas, this is a mean movie that refuses to protect its characters. Well worth watching.
Vespa (2023): When Luiza comes to visit her mother Celia at her new home, something immediately seems off. Could it be V, the new caretaker, the woman who Celia now believes is her daughter? Does it upset Luiza that her mother has always been so cold to her and yet now is so loving to a stranger? Or could V be quite literally be planting seeds that will keep Luiza trapped at home forever and always under loving care that she never wanted? Directed and written by Olívia Ramos, this was an intriguing watch with gorgeous tones and visuals.
The Lonely Portrait (2023): This is a perfect short. An AirBnB guest (Andrew Weir, who wrote the script with director Marc Marashi) guest finds a blank spot on the wall that he soon fills with a strange painting. Every time he steps away, that portrait changes and begins to take things from our world. It’s a gorgeous creation, as it’s a digital painting that was motion tracked into each scene. This is filled with some incredible angles, including one inside the world of the painting. You know where it’s going each step of the way yet when it gets there, it’s so well made that you’ll want to cheer. A triumph.
Carnivora (2024): Ana (Gigi Zumbado) comes home to take care of her grandmother Yaya (Julia Vera), along with Maribel (Carmela Zumbado), who never leaves home and is her caregiver. This leads to the natural argument over Ana being a prodigal sibling or Mari being a martyr for remaining. Their mother has disappeared and no one knows what happened. And that’s because — spoiler warning — Yaya eats people whole and keeps them alive inside her. I feel this movie more than I would like to admit and director Felipe Vargas has created an amazing way to reflect what it’s like to watch a loved one disappear.
Too Slow (2023): An insecure man has fallen for the oldest trick in the book: up high, down low, too slow. This sends him off the deep end, obsessed with getting an apology. Instead, he gets fooled again with the stain on your shirt scam. That’s too much. Now, he loses everything he had and starts becoming the man he hates, buying a Tesla, wearing a wool suit and acting like a complete cryptobro. Everything comes to a head at a birthday party and blood will be spilled. Danielle McRae Spisso and Stephen Vanderpool have crafted something amazing here, a story that we may have all lived yet in a place that goes further than we expect.
You can watch so many of the films at CFF by buying a pass on their website. I’ll be be posting reviews and articles over the next few days, as well as updating my Letterboxd list of watches.
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